Photo TR: Chuck Returns to Europe at Last with TPR

The risks of uploading TRs to TPR: demons and trolls. You've been warned everyone.

Expedition G-Force's first drop looks like it should be illegal.

There are a lot of things that should be illegal, my friend.

There are a lot of things that should be illegal, my friend.

Like posting under a demonic alias, for example.

REKT

Expedition G-Force's first drop looks like it should be illegal.

I'd forgotten how great and insane it really was.

There are a lot of things that should be illegal, my friend.

Like posting under a demonic alias, for example.

 

REKT

Alias? Is that all I am to you!? Well...

I would love to get back over there! Haven't been there since ACE trip in 2002. Loved GeForce! My favorite Intamin by far!

Chapter 8

Still the King of Europe--Europa Park

Yes, France has Paris Disneyland, Holiday Park has Expedition GeForce, and Phantasialand now has Taron, but, for my money, Europa Park is still the best theme park in Europe--and one of the top ten worldwide. Why is that? First, it’s an excellent resort. The park’s four hotels, Colosseo (Italy), Santa Isabel (Spain), Castillo Alcazar (medieval Spain), and Bell Rock (New England) are beautiful and worth exploring all on their own. Even the resort’s campground is elaborately themed to the Old American West and cooks up very good ribs and burgers in its saloon. This place is worth visiting for the hotels alone.

Then there’s the park itself, which was originally built as a showplace for Mack Rides. Europa is themed to the countries of Europe, and the theming here is as elaborate as anything Disney has done this side of Tokyo DisneySea. With its beautiful gardens and architecture, elaborate queues, excellent food, and little surprises around every corner, Europa is a park to explore and discover.

The park also offers a huge selection of attractions for all age groups; no one is left out here. I particularly appreciate the wide range of dark rides. The coasters are a varied lot, too. My favorite is still Euro Mir. While this old coaster is a bit clunky toward the end, it’s still a great ride--with the greatest theme music of any coaster ever. I think we all know the tune, right?

There were two coasters new to me at Europa. The best was Blue Fire, a launched coaster in the park’s Scandinavia section. While not as forceful as most of Intamin’s launched coasters, Blue Fire is well paced and a lot of fun, as you race over, under, and around towering rock formations. It even saves its best trick for the very end.

Then there’s Wodan Timbur Coaster, the park’s huge GCI woodie. The station itself is beautifully themed to the royal halls of Asgard, and I like how the wooden statues lining the track into the station “snap to attention” as the train enters. The ride itself offers some good laterals but, sadly, no airtime to speak of; plus, it’s a bit on the rough side now. However, the whole area surrounding the coaster looks great and, hey, it does have fire.

Then there’s the park’s “is it or isn’t it a coaster credit” (it isn’t) ride: Arthur. I guess I’d describe it as a suspended powered coaster/dark ride, which is themed to an animated movie: Arthur and the Invisibles. I haven’t seen the whole flick, but it’s something to do with a young boy who’s transported to some civilization of sprites or fairies or gnomes or something who live under his yard. Naturally, Arthur is some sort of “savior” who has to take out some scary evil dude. I can’t speak for the film’s quality, but the ride is great. The ride system itself is something Disney and Universal should look into using, the show scenes are very well done, and riders are launched in and out of the show building twice. Well done, Mack!

I guess I’ve yammered on enough. To the pictures! Note that these photos were taken over three days with both my camera and my phone, so you might notice a few inconsistencies here and there. You have been warned.

Our home for three nights was the Bell Rock--a New England-themed hotel in Germany not far from the French border. Well, why not?

This fountain show does not require any sort of “Fast Pass.” There are very expensive guest rooms in the lighthouse.

So, what about this place, Mack?

Well, Europa Park combines “Old World” charm . . .

. . . with a touch of naughtiness . . .

. . . and some other things you won't find in American theme parks (at least not anymore).

First stop, Scandinavia, and not for whale watching.

Objective: Blue Fire.

Europa loads a lot of detail into their queues. They strive a bit for old Epcot style “edutainment” here.

I like how Blue Fire interacts with Wodan.

It certainly is a beautiful looking coaster.

Smooth as glass and very re-rideable.

Wodan can make no claims to “smoothness,” but it does look damn cool.

Another good example of Europa’s over-the-top theming: Each boat in its Splash Battle ride has its own individual skipper.

Have you started humming the theme music yet?

It’s like a continuous “rave” as you head up the internal spiral lift hill.

The last section of Euro Mir is absolutely nuts--in the good way! I love eccentric rides like this.

My two favorite coasters at Europa are in this shot. Here’s a hint: They’re both blue.

The park has a museum with a “Carousel of Progress” about Europa’s history. Worth checking out.

We walked out of Russia and headed toward Germany.

Fun fact: Europa has an actual river running through it (not an artificial one).

The weakest coasters at Europa are the ones that weren’t built my Mack. Case in Point, Silver Star.

You’ll like Silver Star’s queue, if you’re a fan of Mercedes-Benz.

Looks like it should be at least as good as Nitro at Great Adventure, right? Well, no. They brake it to death and staple the hell out of you with the restraint--even though there’s barely any “floater” air on it. Apollo’s Chariot is better than Silver Star (one of the park’s few bummers).

Silver Star does have a cool little play area, though. Just ask John.

Time for my favorite “homage” to Disney’s Haunted Mansion: Geisterschloss.

This guy yells in German and then spits on you. Top that, Disney's Ghost Host!

“Be a good boy and fetch your old grandpa a brew, eh?”

How many of you want one of these hanging in your house?

There’s a stretching room with a guy who hangs himself--no one has ever done this before!

“We’re not grim grinning ghosts/So we’re safe from copyright!”

“Hey, Disney! You got a ‘hatbox ghost’? Well, I got some head. I win!”

All in all, this is a great haunted-house ride, with just the right touch of gore.

“Hello, kiddies! Time for a creepy little canard I call, ‘Bite Me, Disney Lawyers!’”

Well, where there’s a “Haunted Mansion,” there must also be an “It’s a Small World,” of sorts. Welcome to Piccolo Mundo.

At least this ride has pizza, . . .

. . . the promise of interspecies sex, and . . .

. . . clown torture.

Here’s a ride for those who prefer their dinos without Ellen.

Never cross a dinosaur.

Looks like science-type stuff. Better call Bill Nye.

“I wanted to be a ‘not our dino’ for Disney, but they didn’t like my profile.”

“Relax, sweetheart. You’re better off here.”

“Disney’s Carnosaurus is such a diva! I could tell you stories, sunshine.” More to come.

Blue Fire has cool theme music, too.

Leaving the dinosaurs to their little bitchfest, we went to score some delicious raclette, . . .

. . . which we ate in Elissa’s Official Raclette Hut.

Just another shot appreciating how beautiful Europa is.

Well, while in Switzerland . . .

Dear American Theme Parks, . . .

. . . this is how you theme a queue for a Bobsled coaster.

That’s right, Kings Dominion. You don’t drop it in a “jungle-themed” section and call it “Avalanche.”

Even Disney could learn something about theming a Wild Mouse queue from Europa. (By the way, the mouse isn’t braked much at all and is completely crazy.)

“God, what a horrible nightmare! I dreamt that my bedroom was in a queue for a Wild Mouse and a bunch of people were gawking at me. . . what the hell?”

Moving on to Greece.

Here you can see mostly naked statues of muscular people . . .

. . . or get really wet.

Lots of ways to get wet on Poseidon.

You can also get soaked on Atlantica Supersplash in nearby Portugual.

Greece is also the home of the park’s shooting dark ride.

“Shoot all the fish, or I will kill this turtle!”

Aw, that’s much cuter than Holiday Park’s “Basketball Fear,” . . .

. . . but not as enticing as a waffle on a stick.

In the shadow of mighty Euro Mir is a dark-ride tour of Siberia.

Hey, guys! Ready for some really depressing Russian stuff?

Even the snowman looks sad.

Sorry, little girl. Here you will spend the rest of your short, miserable life.

This giant bird is here to conduct you to Hell!

And now that classic Russian children’s song, “My Puppy Was Eaten by Wolves, and I’ve Lost All Will to Live.”

Maybe some more Euro Mir will cheer us up.

Shiny Euro Mir makes everything better!

John has found his happy place.

Yay! Poffertjes!

Garbles, there are no poffertjes in there.

Time for German Pirates of the Caribbean.

Captain NOT JACK SPARROW urges you to keep you ruddy hands in the boat at all times.

“Who needs the redhead, sez I!”

“Yo ho, yo ho . . . Belay that song, you swabs, lest we get a broadside from Disney’s lawyers!”

“Arr! Our lawyers say that as long as a monkey has the keys, and not some cur, we be home free!”

“Aye, we do have a restaurant. But we serves Thai food, not Monte Cristos here!”

Who’s up for a celebration of European colonialism? And lady, you might want to keep an eye on your kids.

“I don’t want to work! I just want to . . . wait. Banging on the drum all day is my work! Dammit!”

Mr. Duck, you might want to be careful. That witch doctor looks a bit shifty.

“Yes, this is degrading to an entire continent, but it pays well.”

“Boo! Admit it. You were petrified with fear.”

I guess hippos and ducks are natural allies in nature.

You have to admire the level of detail they put into this ride.

Monkeys make anything better . . .

. . . as long as they’re not flinging their feces around.

“Coastiality” sounds sort of dirty.

While I’m not a huge fan of VR, Europa did a good job with it.

Another cool thing about Europa is this gem mine. The powered coaster and the log ride both run through it.

And it has a robot dragon.

A donkey that pukes up gold coins! KT is rich!

“I saw you catchin’ them donkey coins, punk! Where’s the money you owe me?”

Fortunately for KT, fairy-tale Charles Bronson intervened.

Those dudes look like they gotta go really bad. Good think they’re on top of a toilet.

“So, it looks like my Ex Lax brownies are a success!” More to come.

And we must not forget Eurosat's music!

Sarah has found her nemesis--the giant frog! That which does not kill you makes you stronger!

Arthur is an excellent dark ride. But claim it as a coaster credit, if you must.

The queue reminds me of ET at Universal, . . .

. . . but this ride is better.

Of course, ET didn’t have big furry soul suckers.

The ride loads continuously, so the line keeps moving.

Eventually you're shot out of the building . . .

. . . and over the river.

Uh oh! Does Brexit mean that this pub needs to leave Europa?

I guess the Brits will have to take their balls with them.

“You will kneel before me!”

The park was still working on its new Ireland kids area.

Believe it or not, they were planning to open two weeks after this photo was taken--and I think they made it!

If you look closely at the upper left part of this photo, you'll see some slide parts. They're going to be installed in Ireland's castle tower.

Of course we rode the adorable spinning boat ride.

Why do I always write “adorable” when I mean terrifying?

"Sing it! Sing 'What Does the Fox Say?' just one more damn time! I dare you!"

Robin Hood: A Study in Horror!

Oops! Mustn’t forget Eurosat.

This structure is no way resembles an iconic building at a prominent Florida theme park.

This robot admonishes you not to smoke in several different languages, just like C3PO.

If you light up, the cyborg terminator will crush you!

This is what we rode--only smaller.

We had lights-off and lights-on rides on Eurosat--fun stuff.

We had some ERT on Wodan, too.

Snagging photos over the heads and hands of others. Such is the life of the enthusiast.

As part of a guided tour on our second day, we got to see some of the park’s special-event space.

The park hosts many different events--including a beauty contest--each year.

This is a particularly nice set up.

Here’s an old carousel pavilion that’s been repurposed as a bar.

There’s a banquet room with an actual carousel.

Creepy clowns are optional.

Meet Franz Mack, the company’s founder. By the way, he's the statue.

There’s a house on the property that was built in the 15th century.

Some of the Mack family live there.

There’s a bier garten nearby, where the Macks like to hang out when the park closes and watch the guests as they exit the park.

All Europa TRs must have at least one photo of this statue.

Looks like Gandalf’s wizard buddy Radagast from “The Hobbit” had one too many drags off of Gandalf’s pipe.

Hey, let’s check out Euro Mir again . . . damn, a parade!

Stupid parades always get in the way.

Wait . . . suddenly, this one got a lot better!

Agh! Turn for the worse! Let’s get outta here!

Objective complete: A picture of Euro Mir taken from an angle that makes it looks like the Joker’s hideout.

They project a tour of Europe over your head in here.

You can lie down on comfy cushions while you watch.

We had a great dinner at the saloon in the park’s campground.

“There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend. Those with dynamite, and those who pick up the check. You pick up the check.”

I expect to see Lee Van Cleef saunter in here and light a match off of Klaus Kinski’s hunchback any minute now. (That's for all you “For a Few Dollars More” fans out there.)

We had to walk to the front of the park and catch the monorail back to our hotel after dinner.

The park was closed, but when you ring for the elevator at the station, they send you a monorail. That’s service.

Robb mentioned that it was so odd seeing the park after dark, because it closes way before sundown in the summer, when all the guests have left. Looks great.

Good night, Europa. Some of us have to catch a flight to Stockholm tomorrow.

Chapter 9

By Day and by Night--Grona Lund

Stockholm is a beautiful city built on a series of islands; so, it makes sense for it to have one of the best waterside parks, anywhere--Grona Lund. Space here is precious, and the park uses it very well. Roller coasters wind around and drop and rise in and out of each other, and they waste nothing at this park. For example, one of the park’s two (eventually to be three) drop rides was installed on what used to be an observation tower, and it offers two different experiences--one with straight seats and the other with tilted seats (which aren’t too kind to the average gent’s “package”).

I haven’t visited Grona Lund since 2009, and there have been a few changes. Twister, the park’s Gravity Group woodie, wasn’t there back then, and it’s a lot of fun. This ride’s construction provides another good example of how well this park uses space and wastes nothing. To build Twister, they had to dismantle the park’s dark ride, Bla Taget, and tear down its show building. This ride had been with the park in one form or another since the 1930s. So, instead of just discarding Bla Taget, Grona Lund rebuilt it right under Twister, with many of the original gags intact, plus some enhancements (such as on-ride audio, “4D” effects in the cars, and trick track). The ride is even better than it was in 2009. Grona Lund is a park that takes its heritage seriously.

Another new attraction is House of Nightmares, an up-charge haunted walk-through. This was once another haunt called Spokhuset.

The park worked with Sally Rides to give this attraction an extensive make over and a new story line. If they dare, guests are invited to enter into the mind of Dr. Morpheus, a sideshow “scientist” who specializes in sleep and dreams. As you’ve probably guessed, the doc’s sub-conscious is full of all sorts of horrors, such as evil clowns and zombies. There’s plenty of nice effects and scare actors in House of Nightmares, and it’s well worth the up-charge.

Grona Lund and Theme Park Review have a long history, and the park treated us very well for the day and the night we were there, starting with a great dinner in their Biergarten. We had filming sessions on Insane (which still lives up to its name), Twister, and Jetline (a classic Schwarzkopf), another great dinner, and access to the VIP area for a rock concert that night. I don’t think anyone was disappointed with Grona Lund.

Welcome to Stockholm. Such a beautiful city.

The hotel was just across the street from the park. It was also in a good location if you wanted to check out some of Stockholm’s museums.

Yes, Deep Purple is still alive--but this wasn’t the concert we saw. The Hollywood Vampires (Alice Cooper, Johnny Depp, and Joe Perry) had also played there recently.

At the park’s main entrance . . .

. . . we met up with the brothers who own the place, and other parks in Scandinavia (including Kolmarden--more on that later).

Who’s ready for beer, schnitzel, more beer . . . it was all excellent. They even had a good band that seemed to cover everyone from the John Denver to AC DC.

Time for a great evening at Grona Lund.

And what better way to burn off that schnitzel than romping around the park’s fun house?

Everyone has their own special technique for climbing the moving stairs.

Opportunities for physical injury abound.

I nearly fell on my butt after being catapulted from these spinning platforms. Good thing I slammed into the wall first.

Note the sneaky airtime hill at the end of the slide. It’s a great, old-school fun house.

I would’ve liked to been up in that balloon; then again, I would’ve missed out on other cool stuff that night.

Some of the park’s rides were shutdown for a while due to a concert. The singer seemed to be the Swedish version of Andy Williams or maybe Gordon Lightfoot. Here you can see the park’s two drop towers. Fritt Fall/Tilt is on the left and, and Katapulten is on the right. They’re going to add a third--one of those “Falcon’s Fury” Intamin rides. There's a very tall Star Flyer (Eclipse), too.

Twister had a fairly long line that night.

Hmm--I guess they were shooting “Birdemic 2” while we were there.

Hmm--rather forbidding looking after dark. More on this later.

Bla Taget manages to look forbidding and goofy at the same time. More on this later, too.

The park looks great at night--nice use of neon near Jetline.

Speaking of Jetline, this coaster is great. One of the most unusual layouts of any Schwarzkopf (hell of any coaster made by anybody).

Is it now? In other news, Deep Purple is still alive.

Anth was victorious!

Jake had to settle for this.

Jake, I want you to win one of those giant boxes of Cheez Doodles, then pour it down your throat, along with a whole keg of lager.

It was freakin’ cold up there.

See you in the morning, Grona Lund.

Everybody have a good night's sleep? Time for an early morning at Grona Lund.

Ah, I feel refreshed. How about you?

We heard a short presentation in the park’s theater, then headed out.

So unlike Holiday Park in this regard.

Who’s ready for a filming session on Jetline?

This is possibly the twistiest Schwarzkopf creation ever--and maybe the best.

The first drop . . .

. . . sends you into this huge tube.

I lost track of how many times this ride twists around itself.

So much crammed into such a small space. Even the chain lift is curved.

The park has improved this ride over the years. For example, magnetic brakes now protect you from that jarring sudden stop so common to Schwarzkopf rides.

We had a walking tour of Bla Taget. I hope Satan likes the food on the train. Amtrak microwaves their hot dogs--yuck!

Welcome to the Church of Cthulu. Time to take the daily offering.

“Mind the track and the runaway train . . .

. . . not to mention the Tesla coils.”

Nice kitty. Why so skittish, you poor wittle kitty cat?

Oh. That’s why.

“Ugh! Seriously, don’t any of you people wear undergarments of any kind?”

Word of advice: Never give this guy “the finger.”

Sarah bravely leads the way.

This is one of the original 1930s gags: The classic toppling china cabinet.

“Boo! I, Creepy Clock, am here to warn you of the inevitability of your own mortality!”

Dan, Sarah, KT, and Jake were possessed during the tour and will spend eternity washing out demon underpants in Hell!

Time to film some 360-degree video of Twister.

Won’t filming a ride called “Twister” in 360 degrees open a vortex in space and time and bring about the End of Days?

Nah. I guess not.

Shh! Don’t tell anyone, but . . .

. . . the Wild Mouse is actually a Gerstlauer Bobsled!

See how it’s all wrapped up with Jetline?

You can watch TPR footage in the queue.

I’m pretty sure this is Grona Lund’s vision of the apocalypse. If so, it’s awesome!

Before our time on Insane, I’d like to show you the greatest amusement-park bathroom ever. I want this in my house.

Never has a ride done more to live up to its name.

I think Sarah agrees with my previous statement.

Hmm--I think I see what caused Sarah’s predicament.

Enjoy your ride, gents. More to come from Grona Lund.

One last look at Grona Lund.

Derek dreamed of eating tacos in Europe, but had to leave before we went to Grona Lund, thus leaving his dream unfulfilled.

“Aw, that is too bad, Senor Derek. Maybe next time, eh?”

Is this the “bestest ride” in Grona Lund?

Could be.

I think Kvasten is the best Vekoma Family Suspended Coaster anywhere. Why?

How about fire?

I think we’ve worked up our courage enough to brave House of Nightmares.

Dr. Morpheus would like to give you a piece of his mind.

It seems that he has a bad case of zombies . . .

. . . and chain link on the brain.

“Har, har! Don’t worry, folks! I’ll save ya! Chortle, guffaw!”

“I think we’ll try our luck with the zombies, thank you.”

Nothing beats getting a little head.

Ride Insane too many times, and this could happen to you. Understand?

Shaken by House of Nightmares, Hanno underwent a peculiar form of shock treatment to restore his sanity.

Perhaps a soothing ride on the park’s “Tunnel of Love” will calm our jangled nerves.

“Love . . . exciting and new.”

“Come on board . . .

. . . and pleasure yourself, too.”

Here’s the crew that caught that night’s concert.

The VIP section is a good place to get photos of the Tilt, or “nut buster,” side of the drop tower.

Yep. They’re totally Wang Chungin’ down there.

Bloc Party put on a pretty good concert. They're a British group, and this was the first I'd ever heard of them.

You can see the drummer’s set list in this shot.

Two days later, Dan and I walked all the away around the waterfront and ended up at this castle.

That’s where I took this photo. See you later, Grona Lund! Kolmarden is next.

Nice report as always, Chuck! I've actually been listening to Bloc Party for a while now, glad you enjoyed them in concert. Now, about Kolmarden...

Awesome report Chuck! Gröna Lund is a really cool little park! Love the photos from the backstage tour of Blå Tåget, always fun to see what these rides look like with lights on. Thanks for sharing!

Looking forward to Kolmården!

Nice report as always, Chuck! I've actually been listening to Bloc Party for a while now, glad you enjoyed them in concert. Now, about Kolmarden...

Deep Purple is more my style--or at least from my "era."

Some of the park’s rides were shutdown for a while due to a concert. The singer seemed to be the Swedish version of Andy Williams or maybe Gordon Lightfoot.

A Gordon Lightfoot concert is one of the few events that I'd forgive the park for shutting down its rides! (Been "awhile" since I had the pleasure of his midnight concert in Carnegie Hall!!!)

Thanks, Chuck, for your fun report. As always, you 'have a way with words."

Alice

Chapter 10

You Know, There’s More Here than Wildfire--Kolmarden

Kolmarden is one big zoo. We’re talking huge here. Or as a certain presidential candidate might say, “y-u-u-u-u-u-ge.” Then promptly claim that he has something even bigger. It’s also the home of some new ride some of you may have heard about, Wildfire, which, like the zoo, is also huge.

Kolmarden’s map says it’s a 40-minute walk from the coaster to the park entrance. Believe the map! The park wraps around a large wildlife habitat filled with lion, tigers, and bears (oh my) and lots of other animals from all over the world. At one time, it was a drive-through habitat like the old Lion Country Safari, but now the main wildlife habitat is spanned by a gondola ride that lasts nearly half an hour.

But what about Wildfire? Did it live up to this rather bold claim we saw at Grona Lund?

Hmm . . . is it “the greatest wooden roller coaster in the world”? I can’t speak for others, but for me, it’s definitely in the top five somewhere. RMC has done it again! The first drop is truly terrifying, there’s lots of air, and the inversions are incredible--particularly the corkscrews (or are they zero g rolls?) toward the end. The only minor problem is the finish. Once you whip through those out-of-your-seat corkscrews, the train takes a right, barely clears one last hill, and just seems to meander to the final brake run. That being said, it would be pretty tough to top that last inversion, as it’s the single best moment of the ride. Overall, this is a great coaster and a huge win for Kolmarden, especially after all the hurdles they had to clear to get it built.

Wildfire also benefits from a beautiful setting and breathtaking views. I love how the train speeds past huge boulders and rock outcrops. We were even the first group to ride one of Wildfire’s trains after the RMC crew had finished testing it.

Our day at Kolmarden was every bit as great as our time at Grona Lund. We enjoyed some up-close encounters with lions and tigers and were treated to a excellent lunch in “The Lodge,” a cabin tucked away under Wildfire.

Here’s a look at what Kolmarden has to offer in addition to another amazing RMC coaster.

Rule #1 at Kolmarden: Do not annoy the gorilla.

What? They have coasters here?

Who knew?

Coasters and theming, it would seem.

“There’s been a hoot owl by my window now . . .”

Beware as they have been known to crap in the woods.

“She ran calling Wild . . .” holy crap, look at that first drop! Oh, the humanity!

Wait! What happened to all the people . . . oh, they’re just testing. Whew!

Now that is one stylish train.

Lots of sawmill theming in the station. Very well done.

This is called a “Dutch angle.” It’s used to heighten tension and create a sinister atmosphere. Did it work?

This is the main angle I’m interested in.

More on Wildfire later, as Sarah contemplates a new hairstyle.

Tigers are new to Sweden.

They came here a little over 100 years ago just for the meatballs. True story.

Everything changed after the Tiger Apocalypse.

Based on the extension of the tongue, I think the tiger is ready for lunch. That tongue is as rough as sandpaper, and the the tiger uses it to scrape the meat off of fallen prey. Isn’t that adorable?

“Hmm . . . I think a little garlic and pepper, and you folks will be delicious.”

The last survivors of humanity huddle together for safety as Nature reclaims the world.

It’s interesting being part of the exhibit.

Rule #2 at Kolmarden: Do not annoy the tigers.

Leave the feeding to the professionals.

“What? Canned food again? I am so going to pee on you for this.”

Whaddaya mean the tiger’s got the keys? Dammit!

After surviving the Tiger Apocalypse, we stopped to feed these little guys.

Our next stop was the viewing bunker in the lion habitat, which took us under the Safari skyway. More on this later.

“Cooked just the way I like it; that is, not cooked at all.”

“I’m thinking a nice teriyaki marinade, then smoke them for a few hours over mesquite. How about you?”

“Works for me.”

“I think I’ll stick to this horse carcass. I like suckin’ the marrow outta the bones.”

Now, this is the way to go on safari.

Hey, there’s Wild . . . holy crap, look at that first drop!

They have animals from all over the world here.

As part of the tour, you can feed them salad from the gondola.

“Don’t look now, but I think someone just dropped a mess of green stuff over there.”

“Maybe the other gondola has a bucket of balsamic vinegarette dressing.”

"Meh. We prefer bleu cheese." More to come.

Great report. The fact that you can get that close to the tigers and feed animals from the Skyway is awesome. I haven't heard much about this place that didn't include Wildfire but we're big animal people and that may be just as big of a draw for us honestly.

One last look at Kolmarden.

If you look closely at my first Wildfire picture, you might notice the roof of a cabin.

It’s a very nice place to have lunch and just hang out.

It offers a great view, as well.

It was pouring rain after lunch, so we took in the indoor dolphin show. Here, using a pink ball, the dolphins try to warn humanity about the upcoming Tiger Apocalypse.

“They’re not listening to us, Fred.”

“Then let the tigers eat ‘em, Frank,”

Unlike Grona Lund, there were no tacos here.

Welcome to Bamse's World, where if you step out of line, Bamse will eat his magic honey, gain super powers, and tear you head off. (Well, he probably won’t kill you. But this land is based on a bear in a Swedish kid show that does eat magic honey, which gives him powers but makes people sick to their stomachs for three days.)

It’s a very nice looking kids area, . . .

. . . with a credit.

Behold the power of Zierer!

Whoa! Someone dumped a big log here!

I suspect the troll.

They had a nice learning center for kids, too.

“So I said, ‘Oh yeah? Well, fricasee this!’ And I’ll be damned--they did!”

KT does not like it when people step on snails and slugs.

“Don’t mind me--I’m just a bear tossin’ a bowling ball. Oh, and have you heard about the coming Tiger Apocalypse?

“Come closer. Closer. NOW YOU DIE!”

A further sign of the Tiger Apocalypse--a Satanic raccoon! (Also known as a red panda.)

As it is often said, at least when it comes to Disney movies from the 1960s, everything is better with monkeys.

“Either buy a drink, or get the hell outta my bar! This ain't no waitin' room."

There’s another coaster here.

Of course, it is a bit dwarfed by the coaster next door.

But it is themed to dolphins, so I guess there’s that.

We had more ERT on Wild . . . holy crap, look at that first drop!

I think Kolmarden has a hit on their hands.

Unless I miss my guess, these riders seem to agree with me.

I'm reasonably sure they're having fun. Just a hunch.

This is single craziest element.

There’s much to love about this ride.

Am I right, folks?

The intensity of the experience caused some people to contemplate the meaning of existence.

For Jake, it’s all about having a good time.

Uh oh! Dan’s seen me! Better run!

I’ll leave you with these words of wisdom. Thanks for reading!

Great report from Kolmården! I definitely agree with you about the ending on Wildfire, it does run out of steam a bit after the final inversion. But it's still a fantastic ride, for me the favorite part was everything from the top of the lift up to the second inversion. But the final roll was fantastic as well!!

That final roll scared the crap out of me the first few times I rode Wildfire. Well, every time, actually. Not that it stopped me from riding.

Thanks for the look back Chuck, I really enjoyed Kolmarden. A great zoo to begin with, and Wildfire is an awesome addition. Can't wait to see what they come up with in the future!

^Agreed. I got the feel that this could someday be a 'destination resort'. Picture a hotel overlooking the animals, all of the nature activities in the area, and some kick ass rides!

^Kolmarden has a lot of assets, including a beautiful setting to go with zoo and the rides. I'd love to see them build a resort there, too.