Tell Me A Joke!

If I was Jewish, I might not like it, but what can ya do?

So this black guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy go into a bar....

So two muffins are in a oven.

One muffin says to the other muffin, "Oh my gosh, we're being baked! What should we do?!"

The other muffin says in reply, "Oh my gosh, a talking muffin!"

Joke creds to Noah Obstfeld

Here's a more sexual joke:

A Asian a African American and a Jewish person walk into a wall with a picture of a naked woman.

The Asian breaks his nose

The African American breaks the wall

The Jewish person makes the wall ashy.

So there is a girl walking around with a carrot in each of her ears. Someone walks up to her and asks her, "Why do you have a carrot in each of your ears," to which she replies, "I can't hear you, I have a carrot in each of my ears."

Joke creds to Noah Obstfeld

A little black kid is helping his mother in the kitchen while she does some baking.

As kids will do, he messes around and dumps a whole bowl of white flour over his head.

He looks up at his mother and says, "Look ma, I'm a white boy now!"

His mother is horrified, and smacks him upside the head. "How dare you say something like that!"

The kid starts crying and asks what he did wrong. The mother says, "Go tell your father you said, he'll tell you!"

So the kid goes into the living room and tells his dad, "Look daddy, I'm a white boy now!"

The father throws down his paper, grabs the kid, and spanks the tar out of him. When he finished, he set the kid down and said, "Now do you get it son? Do you understand? What do you have to say for yourself?"

The kid stands there crying and after a bit he says, "I understand this; I've been white for only about 5 minutes and I already hate you black bastards!"

Anti jokes are pretty funny to.

What is red and bad for your teeth?....a brick

A little black kid is helping his mother in the kitchen while she does some baking.

 

As kids will do, he messes around and dumps a whole bowl of white flour over his head.

 

He looks up at his mother and says, "Look ma, I'm a white boy now!"

 

His mother is horrified, and smacks him upside the head. "How dare you say something like that!"

 

The kid starts crying and asks what he did wrong. The mother says, "Go tell your father you said, he'll tell you!"

 

So the kid goes into the living room and tells his dad, "Look daddy, I'm a white boy now!"

 

The father throws down his paper, grabs the kid, and spanks the tar out of him. When he finished, he set the kid down and said, "Now do you get it son? Do you understand? What do you have to say for yourself?"

 

The kid stands there crying and after a bit he says, "I understand this; I've been white for only about 5 minutes and I already hate you black bastards!"

 

I've got to remember this one!!

Why couldn't Sally find her parents?

The Nazis took them.

Guys, I got a really good one.

The fitness gram pacer test is a multi stage aerobic...

A good steak joke is a rare medium, well done.

Guys, I got a really good one.

 

The fitness gram pacer test is a multi stage aerobic...

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

NOT THE BLEEP TEST!!!! NOOOOOOO!

A good steak joke is a rare medium, well done.

This one, I like!

Why did the can crusher quit it's job??

Because it was soda pressing.

^ 2 for 2! Good going!

A blonde once got lost near a river. She traveled up and down it searching for a way to get to the other side.

She tried walking in the shallow part of the river, and she even tried grabbing onto a branch that stretched half way across the river to try to swing to the other side. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't get across.

After many failed attempts, she finally felt like giving up. Yet, at the last moment, she saw a person walking by and decided to follow her--across the bridge.

Mount Olympus

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room.

When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for.

On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."

^

^^That's a good one!

Okay, I'll chime in with my recent favorite inappropriate joke.

One day, a farmer found that his chickens had fallen into a large pit on his property. He goes and gets his Mercedes, ties a rope to the car, and backs the car to the edge of the pit, but no matter what he does, he just can't get the chickens out of the pit.

Having a different idea, he goes and gets his best mustang. Now, this mustang had a gigantic penis, the biggest of any horse on the farm. So the horse straddles the pit, and the chickens grab on and the horse is able to get them out.

Moral of the story? If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks!

I stood by the elevator doors, and when the doors opened,

there were all these tall and handsome and beautiful young men in the elevator.

So I said, "Hello boys, going down?"

And........ they were.

Heard this one while at karaoke last night!

Surveys find that 9 out out 10 men prefer women with curves.

The other man prefers the other 9 men!

A boy walks in on his dad masturbating. His dad continues to vigorously masturbate while his son stands in shock.

The boy asks "Dad, what are you doing?"

His dad reponds "I'm masturbating, son. Pay attention to my form. It'll come in handy, cause you'll be doing it soon enough."

The boy asks "You think so?"

And his dad says "Absolutely, because my arm is starting to get tired..."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I guess we will never know!

Mount Olympus

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