Very simple, just post a Monty Python quote and only post one quote at a time.
Reg: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man —
Stan: Or woman.
Reg: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan? You're putting us off.
Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
Stan: I want to be one.
Reg, Francis: What?
Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me "Loretta". It's my right as a man.
Judith: Well... why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!
Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But... you can't have babies.
Stan: Don't you oppress me!
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan, you haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
[Loretta starts to cry]
Judith: Here! I-I've got an idea. Suppose that you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb — which is nobodies fault, not even the Romans' — but that he can have the right to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.
Last edited by Stitch on Mon Oct 03, 2005 3:03 pm.
Allo! Who is eet?
It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see.
He says they've already got one!
Are you sure he's got one?
Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)
Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
Of course not! You are English types-a!
Well, what are you, then?
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!
What are you doing in England?
Mind your own business!
If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
What a strange person.
Now look here, my good man--
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
(Fetchez la vache.)
OTHER FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache!)
If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go.
And this one's for your dad!
Fiends! I'll tear them apart!
No, no. No, no.
Sir! I have a plan, sir.
[saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw]
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak]
[rrrr rrrr rrrr]
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]
FRENCH GUARDS: [whispering]
C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here...
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]
What happens now?
Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
Who leaps out?
U-- u-- uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uh...
Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger--
Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!
From the best Python movie ... The Life of Brian: (and this is all from memory)
Spare a talent for an old ex-leper, sir.
Did you say -- ex-leper?
That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, thank you sir.
I was cured, sir.
Yes sir, a bloody miracle, sir. Bless you.
Who cured you?
Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster.
You could go and get yourself a decent job, couldn't you?
Look, sir, my family has been in begging six generations. I'm not about to become a goat-herd, just because some long-haired conjuror starts mucking about.
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