Photo TR: Orlando 2.0 - Wes Strikes Back

[PKI Jizzman]

Raisins dont count as candy! Its a cheap healthy way of saying its candy! LMAO nice PTR!

[Louise]

"Hi, is Lou's hymen there?"

 

I just crapped myself.

 

Me too, that's fucking hysterical.

 

I need to stop surfing the net while I'm "working" in the library, I've been glared at like half a dozen times today because I keep stifling laughter.

 

LOVING the TR Wes (especially since my genitalia got a mention), awesome captions and pics.

[SharkTums]

OMG!!! I can't believe that Clarice was at MGM!!! She better be there Wednesday!

 

Loving the reports Wes, it's getting me way too excited to leave tomorrow...even if I'm having to put up with Ryan right now!

[Shockwave]

^I resoundingly second that. Everything about this trip report has kept me laughing ever since it began!

 

This definetly calls for another trip to Florida in the not too distant future.

[RCTfan]

When did you all go to MNSSHP? I was there on the 12th and I thought I saw Dan there. It was after fireworks and I did a double take and yelled "You from TPR?" Alas, he didn't hear me. Oh wells.

 

If you saw a guy with Tiger facepaint, that was I. My friend was a bunny and the other had green facepaint like Maleficent.

[Wes]

^ We were there on the 12th, yes.

 

Anyway, I just got back to LA, so I'll post the rest of the TR tonight!

[Wes]

Day Three: Animal Kingdom, EPCOT, and Mission: SINISE

I give one final salute to Mission: Sinise.

Ready for my mission to Mars with CAPCOM Sinise!

Astronaut food makes me METAL AS F**K.

Back to M:S for the orange side, that means MORE INTENSE GARY!!

Luke ghostrides EPCOT.

Probably one of the best onrides EVER!

Ghostridin' Test Track!

Alexis makes a good dummy.

It's true love when she decides to stay with me even while wearing the SPACE HELMET.

Time to find out just how shitty American made cars are!

Death by Viking or sugar? You decide.

And then they take a stab at Dan!

The girls take a stab at the Viking life.

This picture > You

Meanwhile, Dan escorts Kristen in true style!

After successfully completing the mission and joining the ISTC, I was rewarded with a super cool SPACE HELMET!

Me, Erik, and Eric get ready for our mission to Mars.

The happiest moment of my life.

My dream comes true!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Getting ready for Gary!

Green side, less intense, but still the same amount of Gary flavor!!

My salute to Gary.

I even made a special shirt to show my love for the Sinise.

But there was only one reason I wanted to go to EPCOT.

Not fire, but explosions in the sky are cool too.

MMMMMM Fire.

Getting my Soren credit with the one finger point.

Does this qualify as the creepiest Soren picture on the site yet?

That's racist.

Doing my best Barry H impression.

When TPR Mods Collide. Me, Erik, and Reed.

HEY!! It's Erik Johnson!! He's awesome, even with his eyes closed!

This isn't a booth from Food & Wine, it's the entire country of Spain.

OMFG, LAUNCHPAD MCQUACK!!!!!!!!!!

Molesting some statue in AK. This is also the introduction of the one finger point, which you will see approximately 8000 more times from now on.

Bat, man.

I am the missing link!!

We'll start the day at Animal Kingdom. Here I am annoying Alexis.

[disneyfan1313]

I just noticed Erik does not have an EMH wristband... Hmmmmmmmmmm

 

I wish I didn't have to leave early - it looks like I missed out on all crazy antics.

[sixflagsmagicmountain]

LMAO, I like the space helmet.

[SLUSHIE]

OMG Launchpad! Darkwing must be hidden in the bushes or something.

[Erik Johnson]

I just noticed Erik does not have an EMH wristband... Hmmmmmmmmmm

 

I wish I didn't have to leave early - it looks like I missed out on all crazy antics.

 

The best Extra Hours ever!!!

[Chrissie]

Looooool!!!!

 

Great TR Wes! and I am sooooo loving Clarice!! I didnt even know she existed ( Sorry Elissa)

[bgwfreak]

Awesome!

 

Even if you are Wes 1.0

[Wes]

Day Four: IOA and Universal HHN

 

I'll start with the IOA pics...

So Myspace it's ridiculous.

I wasn't trying to touch his balls, I swear!

The group is ready for a kickass lunch at Mythos! I know I'm probably in the minority around here, but I think the food there is great.

Insert obligatory roller coaster photo here.

Sadly, the park was really busy because of HHN and Stay & Scream, so we didn't get to ride Hulk. Booooo.

Jim and KC about to experience some hot EMV/3D/Simulator lovin'.

If you put on 3D glasses while looking at this picture, it changes so we're actually making out.

SPIDEY! The single best ride evs.

Doc Ock..

Hobgoblin..

Dudley's was down for rehab last time, so I finally got to ride it! Really sweet ride, and that last drop is I*N*S*A*N*E

Eric about to ride the hell out of the Unicorn.

Hey looks, UNICORNS!

I see your Schwartz is bigger than mine.

IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG BIIIITCH

Seriously, she'll make out with anything. Even me!

They were also doing something REALLY weird later in the day, dispatching Ice by itself every other cycle. LAAAAME.

Sadly, the park was fairly busy today so we only got to hit Fire Dragon.

Oh, what's this ride here?

Vomiting rockwork makes me HUNGRY.

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!! I really want a Green Eggs and Hamwich, but both times I've been it's been closed.

Do you think I could sneak this into my carry-on luggage?!

Another little detail that makes IOA awesome.

The Zax's were closed off last time I was here, so I finally got to see them. It's little details like this that make me love IOA so much.

I want to work at IOA so I can be a Starbelly!

The trolley was a pretty good ride, and it offered some excellent views of IOA.

Best woman ever! She also had gold grillz in her teefesses.

New Ride Credit!

Can you hear me now?

At least it didn't smell as bad as SFMM!

This is how mermaids are made.

...or does it?

He was Lt. Dan before he was Capcom Sinise.

The girls pose in front of the new Bubba Gump restaurant at Citywalk.

[Wes]

Day Four: IOA and Universal HHN

 

HHN Review

 

This was my first time attending HHN. I've been a regular at Knott's Halloween Haunt for the past 8 years or so, so I was excited to see how much better (or worse) HHN was than Knott's.

 

Overall, HHN has the better mazes and more elaborate sets and scares. I think Knott's still has some better scarezones, nothing at HHN can compare to ghost town.

 

One major negative at HHN was all the alcohol. There was WAY too much, and thus way too many obnoxious drunk people. I can understand wanting to sell booze to make money, but you don't need a stand every 10 feet. I saw and heard some of the most low-life and despicable things from some of the drunk guests. So unneccessary.

 

So as far as the mazes:

 

Psycho Scarapy: This was an okay maze, but a bit of a let down considering it was supposed to be one of the best. The exploding toilet and poo smell were cool.

 

All Nite Die In: AWESOME MAZE! Everyone's fave. Loved the Scream section with the garage door, the Hellraiser bit, the ending with all the characters, etc. The only let down was the Ring part. It was so short! I was hoping they'd do something where the girl comes out of the TV. Oh well.

 

Screamhouse: Another awesome maze. Caretaker was sweet. The coffin was cool. The scareactors did a really great job, too!

 

Psychopath: Just okay, and about on par with the typical mazes at Knott's. It even had one of those damn spinny tunnels.

 

PUTS: Ugh. So bad, and SO SO CHEAP! I could have made this mazes. It was just a bunch of 2x4's and some plastic sheeting. I was REALLY looking forward to the light helmet aspect, but it just turned out INCREDIBLY stupid. I thought it was going to be a lot darker. No real good scares either.

 

Dungeon Of Terror: This maze reminded me so much of Haunt. More funny than it is scary. Eh. I did like the woodchipper bit, though.

 

Run: The maze itself was really sweet, probably top three of the night. I did not enjoy the gorey videos the show outside and inside the maze though. I don't need to see a video of someone's hand getting chopped off or something's tooth getting ripped out. That really turned me off. Erik had warned me about this, and he was pretty right on. This isn't a knock against the maze, which was great.

 

Bill & Ted: Wow, what an awesome show! I LOVED IT! Much better than any of the recent hangings. LOVED Magneto and his green CGI friend, "No One Beats Hoff", Silent Bob singing Timbaland's part in "Sexyback", etc.

 

 

Ok, onto the photos.

SCARIEST PART OF HHN BY FAR!!!

Maybe the best scareactor of the night!

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

A show only true rednecks could enjoy.

Yes, he's eating a car. No, it wasn't worth it at all.

Despite what these pictures look like, Robosaurus was SO SO SO SO LAME. UGH.

Do I make you horny?

Luckily, we had an awesome hookup at HHN, so we even got to ride all the rides. MIB is so so so so awesome.

This maze totally reminded me of Knott's Haunt, which means it was just okay.

Ok, now I understand why you need Express passes! Luckily we got the hook up in a major way! By the way, worst maze EVER!

Psychopath was okay, about on par with a Knott's Haunt maze.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween...Horror Nights.

Albino parade. Where'z zongaboy?

Group shot after hitting the big three mazes!

I made Alexis go ahead of me because I scream like a little girl.

What's scarier, the caretaker or all the drunk people around me?

ooooo, spoooooooky.

The Caretaker makes his way into the Screamhouse.

Oh Bill, you used to be so cool and now all you can do is DirecTV commercials.

Bill is almost as cool as Gary. Almost.

Screamhouse was next! And only 5 minutes AGAIN! After reading everyone's review telling us we NEEDED Express passes or we wouldn't get on anything, it was funny we knocked out the big three mazes in 30 minutes!

Alexis gets her scare face on for ANDI. This was everyone's favorite maze.

Next up, Die In! Wait, does that thing say ONLY 5 minutes?!

First maze of the night, Psychotherapy. Just ehh in my opinion, though the toilet did explode on me!

It's Jack, an my evil twin brother, the Director!

After an awesome day at IOA, it was time to experience the horrors of long lines and drunken asshats at HHN!

[Shockwave]

I think you've found Lou's hymen!

 

[Wes]

Days 5,6, and 7

 

This is a bunch of mixed shots from our last three days. We park hopped around WDW, so there's a mix of pictures from every park.

 

Thanks for reading my TR! Comments are always welcome.

I wave goodbye to Gary, EPCOT, WDW, and Orlando. See you all next October!

Gary got a little choked up.

Sad faces on our final day.

Best. Name. Ever.

The girls said I couldn't jump from 1 to 10 in a single jump. I totally schooled them.

Something is not right here.

I finally get to meet TPR member Jumboshrmp!!

This guy was stopping at every booth at Food & Wine. I wonder why he needs the scooter...hmmm....

My specialty drink, The Gary Sinise:

1/2 Sprite

1/2 Lemonade

A splash of Grenadine

=

YUM

Saying you're a master egg painter is like saying you suck at most everything.

This probably makes Derek die a little inside.

OH GOD THE HUMANITY

Seems like a normal day on the Germany miniature train railway...

AIRCON

Alexis was in love with the India booth. Seriously, she probably would have married it if she could.

Matt owns the barrier pole.

Over at the Beach Club, this is their awesome waterslide that I still need to re-ride. Goddammit.

Baby potatoes.

Long-necked potatoes.

This croc is so mad that he didn't get to Steve Irwin first.

You are now entering Bumpy Road And Ball Slap Territory.

I seriously would not want to take pictures of whatever the eff that animal/human-hybrid gone-terribly-wrong is.

It's the TREEEEEEEEEE of LIIIIIIIIIIFE

CURSES!!! It's my eight tentacled DOOOOOM.

Emo Castle.

"This Buzz REALLY REALLY sucks".

"This Buzz sucks."

The thing nightmares are made of of.

Ghost ride tha' play area.

We got Dan on a water ride! Luckily, he didn't get too wet. Kristen on the other hand...

Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit giving their proper salute to CAPCOM Sinise!

Soren over Big Thunder Mountain.

Soren makes a triumphant return, and this time he ain't in Lederhosen.

Hall of creepily lifelike Presidents that freak you out.

OMG it's Rutherford B. Hayes!!!!!

PERFECT lighting. Now that's a castle!

Artsy shot of the update.

Even though it's super expensive and full of snobby rich people, it sure is purty.

Well isn't that special?

The happiest moment in Dan's life: finding the sugar free cheesecake at MGM.

Alexis is really really good at being grumpy.

BULLSHIT ALERT! There we're no AT-AT's on Endor! Only AT-ST's. God. GET IT RIGHT, Disney.

The ladies love him cuz he's cool as ice.

Again, still not as bad smelling as Psyclone Bay at SFMM.

WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA!!!

A little bit of gloating, the video that plays on the laptop was made by me!

Mmmmmm...Tokyo Disneysea. (in the One Man's Dream exhibit)

A rabid Aussie driving an American car? WATCH OUT!!

Even the outdoor queue kicks DCA's version.

Back to MGM for more rides on Tower (Without Random Hallway)

[Louise]

I finally get to meet TPR member Jumboshrmp!!

 

LMAO!! Wait, you claim that that video that plays was made by you... Are you SURE Janglyschlomp didn't make it?!?!

 

Awesome TR Wes!

[Chase]

Nice reviews and nice pics. Can't wait for HHN.

[pvcoasterguy]

Aww... I miss Disney and it has been only a few months since I went.

 

Anyway, looks like you guys got tons of hot Sinise action. Thanks for posting the TR! It was great.

[smarterchild]

So I've been wondering what you have been meaning when you say "ghost ride" in your captions because here in the Bay Area, it means to get out of your car while it's still moving and dance. Being that I see no car, I was wondering if the term means something different somewhere else...

[CoasterFanatic]

WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA!!!

 

Nice Shot!

 

[Stitch]

There was at least one AT-AT on Endor, when Darth Vader arrives there is one below the landing pad

[Wes]

So I've been wondering what you have been meaning when you say "ghost ride" in your captions because here in the Bay Area, it means to get out of your car while it's still moving and dance. Being that I see no car, I was wondering if the term means something different somewhere else...

 

No, that's exactly what it means, Luke and Matt (both NorCalers as well) just modified it to be dancing on anything (strollers, planters, fountains).

[ebl]

 

I just now looked at this update and totally had forgotten about this. Maybe I should stop by here more.

 

Eric