ytterbiumanalyst

The travel pillow I had, but I bought a sleeping bag and tent in Harrisburg. Cheaper than paying airline fees for bringing them from home, plus someone else can benefit from it now (and might already be doing so).

Awesome! Like you, I had wanted to go to Dollywood for years but put it off because it's so similar to SDC. I actually think it edges out SDC, just because it's bigger. It's the same, just more of it, so I liked it better. But SDC's theming is more consistent and it does much better at spreading out rides for all ages, putting high thrill rides next to rides for younger guests. Whichever you prefer, they're both really great.

Day 8: Lower Those Standards After the last four days of camping, it was time to pack up the tent and head to Allentown. I donated the camping gear to Goodwill there (no sense in a lightly used tent going to waste) and made my way over to Dorney Park. Arriving at Dorney! I'll come back for Talon. Nice looking carousel. Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha! Lines. The new hotness. The sign for the new hotness. Everyone loves a wave swinger. I like these normally, but I don't want to get into a rental car soaked, so I passed. First things first, I headed over to the Wild Mouse. It was a Wild Mouse. The line was short. My first taste of Dorney lines! Hydra is beautiful They've got one of these. I see a hyper on the horizon. Already passed the best part of the ride. Two great reasons to go to Dorney I liked this little plaza area. The S&S drop tower. That third tower doesn't have a ride in it. The reportedly far superior drop tower, but I'll never know. Thunderhawk's station Whip Zephyr Next I had to go for the park’s only Intamin, Possessed. It’s really great, just like all the others of this type. They never disappoint. Second best coaster in the park. Here we are, the Intamin Impulse. The lines were unbearable today. Straight off the high from Possessed, I went over to Stinger, and it was here that Dorney began in earnest to encourage me to lower my standards. I loved Invertigo at Kings Island, but this one…ouch. There were a few school groups at the park today. I still walked on nearly everything. Okay, one bad coaster, no sweat. I’ll just head over to Steel Force. I always love Mamba and Wild Thing, this should be solid. Line for Steel Force It's hyper time! Steel Force sucks. Okay, the Morgan hypers don’t have killer airtime, but they do have some, and they have a good sense of speed too. Steel Force…just…doesn’t. It’s not painful, but it’s not good. At all. In any way. Two bad coasters in a row, bad luck. I’ll hit up Thunderhawk next, it’s gotta be good. You don’t keep a coaster around 90 years if it sucks. I legitimately loved this path in the middle of Thunderhawk. This is great. Nice flyby area. Time for some classic wood! These lines... Alfundo the Clown credit! Motherf*cker! This things sucks too! It’s slow, has very little air (though notably more than Steel Force, at least), and it’s rough as hell the whole way. All right, I gotta go on something good quick. I hit up the whip, and it was great! 3/3 on full-size whips this trip. Love these rides, and I really wish I had one closer to me. When every other ride in the park sucks, you must whip it. I went over to the Zephyr next and enjoyed a nice classic ride from back when Dorney was actually a good park. Really enjoyable. Okay, there's still the train. The classic Dorney rides energized me again, and it was time to do what I came to do: Demon Drop. It was down. All day. I hate you, Dorney. I hate you so much. Drop tower! Grr.... There are only two things that can cure this sort of devastation: alcohol and log flumes. Given that I had to turn in my rental car this afternoon in Philly, I decided to get lunch at Chickie’s and Pete’s sans alcohol and then hit up the log flume. Lunch time! I picked the bad Chickie's and Pete's. Love this flume. Love it. Timber Creek Mountain was great! I mean really great. It goes up the side of an actual hill, then tools around a bit up there before plunging back down the hill. Fantastic flume. I had passed on the two B&Ms earlier because I was apparently on a quest to go ride everything at Dorney that sucks, so I went to Hydra next. I was eagerly anticipating this one, since the jojo roll looked just so cool. That part of the ride is, in fact, very cool. The second half of the ride should be replaced with a brake run. Really, it should just end there. Instead it meanders at slow speeds and doesn’t do anything. Back to the magic dragon These lines, they're so bad. I needed to consult my interior voice. INTERIOR VOICE: Why hast thou summoned me, human? ME: Aren’t you human too? INTERIOR VOICE: Yes. ME: Okay. INTERIOR VOICE: Ask thy question, ere I grow impatient. ME: Fine. How do I enjoy Dorney Park? INTERIOR VOICE: There is but one way: Lower thy standards. Thou wilt not find pleasure if thy standards be equal to Knoebels or Hershey, nay, e’en the standards of Great Adventure be too high. Thou must expect Lakemont, then wilt thou be impressed by Dorney. ME: Expect Lakemont? But that’s impossible! INTERIOR VOICE: Thou must find a way. Thou wilt find a way. (image dissolves, then disappears) ME: Okay, I can do this. I walked over to Dorney’s other train, passing the good Chickie’s and Pete’s that I should have eaten at. Oh well. I summoned all the mediocrity within me and confidently stepped onto the train. Train time! Again! It suc— I mean, it’s wasn’t ba— It was good! Oh man, that hurts. I don’t think I can do this. INTERIOR VOICE: Be thou honest, and yet with expectations low. Okay, the train was…exactly what I expected from Dorney. INTERIOR VOICE: Thou hast learned well, padawan. ME: Thanks, Interior Voice! I don’t know what I would have done without you. And with that, I rode Talon. Maybe it was my newfound properly lowered expectations, but Talon was really good! I rode in the back row first, then went around immediately for a re-ride in the front. I could have ridden it more, but it was time to head back to Philly and turn my car in. Two boats! I love how photogenic these rides are. The other new hotness The other new hotness sign And the best ride here to end the day All things considered, I don’t think I’ll be going back to Dorney, even having missed the one ride I really wanted to do there. Everything else on this trip was great, but this one…I can’t really justify going back. If you do go, make sure you lower those expectations. Just lower them. If you think your standards are low enough, they’re too high, and you need to lower them. Expect Lakemont, and Dorney will be great!

Fixed That For You. Honestly, LR is amazing. . . But ride it as soon as you see it up and running. No need to save it for last. It's been fairly consistent for the past month, so I think it's a fair bet to save it for last.

I love this! A lot of parks would be content to have some vaguely Hawaiian names and call it a day. This is a really creative theme; can't wait to see how it plays out in reality.

Glad you had a good time, Larry. X-Flight and Goliath are both great (I think they're best coasters there). Really, it's a lot like Great Adventure in that there are a few annoyances, but there's also a lot to love about the place.

Nice! Great to see what you guys were up to since I saw you last. Glad you enjoyed Hydrus; your thoughts are very similar to mine. Those Air Race rides are great, too; I got to ride the one at Beech Bend in Kentucky, and I loved it. I don't normally like inverting flats, but that one is so good.

^^ Make sure you do Fascination and the upcharge haunted house! Really, Indiana Beach is pretty straightforward. All the places to eat are cheap, all the rides are good, you'll have fun. Don't go in with super high expectations or you may be disappointed, but be realistic and the place will be a lot of fun.

I like the new site. I was super impressed with this park when we visited last year. I only wanted to stop there so we didn't have to drive all the way from the Ozarks to Duluth in one go. I'm glad we went; it's way better than it appears on paper. Really fun atmosphere, great employees, great food. The whole day was just very relaxing, which is a rarity these days with megaparks too big to do everything in one day. I'd go back again for sure if I were going that way.

Silver Dollar City this weekend, for the first time since May.

Ugh... This looks to be a Christian rock concert. When I used to work at Darien Lake we had Kingdom Bound (3 day Christian concert) and it was the worst week of the year. We actually got called in early (lifeguards) to stand guard over the wave pool at 9am while they did baptisms. That water was so vile without the waves on to break up the clouds of hair/weaves/band-aids/hair gel...I felt disgusted watching them dip their heads in. The amount of teens busted for shoplifting and trying to hook up was crazy, security always dreaded that week. The best part was the park had to cover all the signage for Viper due to complaints from the event organizers about "serpents" in the park. They put a temporary sign out front and changed the name of the ride, it was ridiculous. Guess I'd rather just deal with the crowds on a busier Halloweekends night than deal with the Christian rock crowd. Must be a weird kind of Christian that has a problem with snakes. I'm a Christian and have no problems at all with snakes. Dude, we're apes. Apes hate snakes. That's really all there is to it.

Wow, this is awesome! Lots of great costumes here. Gotta give Polaroid Guy props for creativity. I have to admit to loving the mother and daughter both as Supergirl--we go to Comicon Kansas City every year and my kids absolutely love it. Great to see other families passing on the nerdom. Thanks for sharing!

Awesome! Glad my report helped you piece things together. Honestly I never remember the order I ride things; I just take a lot of pictures and I assume the timestamp on the photo is when I rode it. It was great hanging out with all of you, honestly. Moreys is a place to hang out with friends and not necessarily just going for rides. Some of their rides are great, a lot are crap, but that's what there is to love about it. It's equal parts awesome and horrible.

When I was in high school, my friends and I would discuss "perfect albums." These are records that are the absolute best that they could be, albums for which nothing could improve them. This was our way of skirting the issue of whether Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon is better than Pearl Jam's Ten or Depeche Mode's Violator. Yeah, they're all kickass rock albums, but they're all so different that it's difficult to fairly compare. So if I would apply this logic, Outlaw Run, El Toro, Phoenix, and Voyage are all "perfect coasters." They are the best that coaster could possibly be, without trying to be something they're not.

It's neither of those. People have to understand, and I've already explained it and I guess it's gone ignored, that the Golden Tickets are more about rewarding those two reward others. There's a lot of "patting each other on the back" that goes on with them. They are not a *REAL* legitimate poll and the results should absolutely be taken with a grain of salt. I appreciate this. I guess I'm not really understanding the underlying politics of it all. I'm also not about to run out to a park merely because it won an award either, though, so ultimately these awards don't really affect me that much.

I wouldn't think it's any harder than explaining why Moonlight wasn't the best movie last year. Awards are opinions, when it comes down to it.

To be honest, a lot of the top 10 rankings on both lists are ones I have in my top 10. So that may mean that they're truly great rides, or it may mean this list is as limited as my own experience is. I really couldn't say with certainty, but I'm leaning toward the latter. I have been outside the U.S., several times in fact, but I've never been to an amusement park anywhere but the U.S., and mainly in the Midwest. There are still several major parks in this country I've not been to. I've never been to a Sea World/Busch park. I've never been to Orlando. So for this list to mirror my own as closely as it does.... I'm going to say that isn't great.

I'm impressed with how many people are so defiant so far. They said you couldn't do it, but you're going to anyway! Fight the power!

^ & ^^ I aim to please. Seriously, though, every time I hear that word "forceless" I want to punch something. I'm looking forward to Time Traveler with some reservations, as I don't normally like spinners. I loved Sierra Sidewinder and Laff Track, though, so it's possible I could really love Time Traveler. I have the utmost confidence in the Herschends to pull this off and make it a great attraction, and I'm just excited to see how they do it.

Smart kid.

All right, so Labor Day has passed in the U.S., parks are beginning to either close or go to their Halloween events, and a lot of us are looking forward to next year. Where are you going to be? Here's the tentative plan for me and my family; it's a light year, as we're gearing up for a big Texas trip in 2019: Definitely: Silver Dollar City Six Flags St. Louis Probably: Cedar Point Frontier City Kennywood Kings Island Waldameer Possibly: Six Flags over Texas Unlikely But Would Love to Happen: Beech Bend

Yeah, totally forceless. It's gonna be awful. All you enthusiasts should probably just not bother to ride this one. Definitely don't go to Silver Dollar City and be near me and complain about a really great ride because it doesn't live up to what you dreamed in your head. Just go to Cedar Point, a great park with a new ride that is about 800 miles away from me. Go there. You'll love it.

Definitely! It would of course need a Florida Man ride. Diverging storylines would make it different every time. You never know what Florida Man's gonna do next!

Love it.

I agree Bluegrass Breeze and Air Race have been great additions. I want to say Bluegrass Breeze was in '14 and Air Race in '15. There is a lot they could do to really make the place great; they're just suffering from a catch-22 of not having enough money to make the improvements that would lure people from Nashville. I think the price is right, and what's there is fun. It'd be great for them to get some good paving and landscaping to make the place look more permanent and less county fair. Just requires cash.