KBrylczyk

Just when I thought I couldn't find another weird fetish.

Hiya, dudes, dudettes, duders, trans-duderinos, and whatever else you nuts identify as these days. Personally, I like to think of myself as a bag of meat, albeit oversized. I really need to get back to the gym. Anyone want to be my gym buddy? Anyone? Please? I need friends... I digress. Let's get this show on the road... ZUMANJARO: DROP OF DOOM VR - MEDIA DAY TRIP REPORT [youtu_be] [/youtu_be] Yes, yes, I was lucky enough to be invited to the media day for the BRAND SPANKIN' NEW Zumanjaro: Drop Of Doom VR: Murderous Spiders Vs. Humans And Robots: Totally Not Transformers Or Pacific Rim: The Experience: The Ride! Full disclosure, I had never ridden Zumanjaro prior to this as I was living out west when Zumanjaro was installed. I've been on Lex Luthor plenty, though, so I had an idea of what I was in for. How'd the event go? Read on, grasshopper... Our ride taping was scheduled for 12:10pm but we were told in advance that we were welcome to arrive at any time and ride as many times as we would like. We pulled into the parking lot around 11:15 or so and took some time to get a few photos and videos. They ran a few cycles and by the time we walked to the loading area they had just gone on a short break before the next block of riders. Oh, well, guess we'll just help ourselves to the free brunch menu and juice and soda! After scarfing down a breakfast pastry and some potato salad (I didn't make the menu, I just ate it) we poked around the station area and got a feel for the headset operation. One of my biggest questions going in was how the heck they're going to secure these VR headsets to us on such a high-intensity ride. I've done three VR rides this past summer in Europe (one at Bobbejaanland and two at Europa) and they were all on fairly tame rides where flying headsets weren't a real concern. Six Flags has it covered, though! Each headset is color-coded for one of the three gondolas via a lanyard (red, green, or blue). This lanyard goes over your head and around your neck first, then the actual VR headset goes on and gets tightened, and finally there is a red chin strap that the ride ops will tighten for you. Don't worry, they won't choke you! When all is said and done, that headset isn't going anywhere! Speaking of headset concerns, there's no worry about the weight on the front of your face! Sure, it's got a heft to it initially but you'll adjust and get used to it almost immediately. If you don't, just stop being a whiny little pansy and man up. Wuss. You probably complain about El Toro being too rough on your precious bum-bum, too. Let's talk about the ride. Can we talk about the ride? We're gonna talk about the ride. Remember earlier when I said I had never ridden Zumanjaro prior to this event? I wasn't kidding. My first ever ride was with the VR and it was also the one they took video of. My reaction to everything is 100% legit, including the drop. I am not hamming it up. Keep that in the back of your mind when you watch it because it becomes that much more hilarious. Anyways, I'm gonna give you two reviews, with and without the headset, and my opinions on which is better. Let's starts with the VR - With VR - We begin the ride in a war-torn city street staring at a flaming car and general carnage all around. We have our trusty minigun directly in front of us, though! I've seen Full Metal Jacket, so I'm obviously fully trained in using a minigun. It automatically will aim wherever you are looking, so get those neck muscles moving, folks! As soon as the actual ride is dispatched the real fun begins in VR-land. You are riding shotgun on a helicopter to assist giant robo-soldiers the size of El Toro in murdering the crap out of hundreds of giant spiders taking over the city! There's also a ton of flying evil bat-bee-spider-death monsters that attack, as well! Immediately upon liftoff you see your robotic cohorts shooting at unseen enemies only to turn a bit and BOOM, GIANT SPIDER CLIMBING THE BUILDING LIKE KING KONG KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!!!! OMG FLYING EVIL BAT-BEE-SPIDER-DEATH MONSTERS KILL THEM ALL GET ME A FLAMETHROWER BECAUSE BULLETS AREN'T ENOUGH OMG THERE'S SPIDERS CRAWLING ON MY LEGS AND GUN CRAP CRAP MORE EVIL BAT-BEE-SPIDER-DEATH MONSTERS WHY WON'T THEY DIE FASTER GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH GIANT BLACK WIDOW OH NO HE KILLED A ROBOT FRIEND YOU WILL NOT DIE IN VAIN NOT-OPTIMUS-PRIME I SHALL AVENGE YOU DIE DIE DIE SPIDER DIE BUAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CRAP CRAP THERE'S MORE BAT-BEE-SPIDER-DEATH MONSTERS I CAN'T WIN SEND IN THE NUKES DO IT NOW THERE'S ANOTHER MASSIVE SPIDER QUEEN ATOP THE BUILDING AND ANOTHER ROBOT FRIEND IS FLYING UP TO SHOOT IT WITH ROCKETS NOT DON'T DO THAT SPIDER DON'T DO IT NOOOOOOOOOO WE'RE CRASHING WE'RE GONNA DIE HOLY CRAP GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-WE'RE STILL FALLING-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, phew, we landed in a huge spider-web! We're safe! We didn't explode! Um...what? No, no, there's another giant spider and it's GONNA EAT US EW GET AWAY NO NO NO!!!!!! Yeah, that's essentially the ride. It's awesome and nutty and a ton of fun! Thanks to the video-game elements I was too busy shooting monsters to have any idea when we'd reached the top of the tower, I was just blasting away then boom, the drop, and it scared the crap out of me! No anticipation, just complete surprise! I loved it! WithOUT VR - The ride is high, the view is alright (again, central Jersey is flat and green, nothing special), but the drop is INSANE! It just keeps on going, faster and faster, until the brakes catch you at what feels like 10 feet above the ground! Which is better? - Neither. I consider them equals. Why? Well, without the VR the climb to the top is uneventful and it's really just a glorified observation tower. I felt completely secure and safe the entire way up because I could clearly see the structure of Kingda Ka on either side, plus the other gondolas. Lex Luthor, on the other hand, gets a bit freaky because I never felt secure. There is no structure around you, just behind, and then a Supes car will rocket up the tower and shake it like a polaroid picture and really get things funky! With the VR, the climb is action-packed and a lot of fun! The drop with the VR is fun and all but the illusion isn't sold as well as it could be. Without the VR the drop is just crazy because you can see and hear the ride vehicle getting faster and faster and, for me, it makes it that much more intense. To sum up, VR wins the ascent, non-VR wins the descent. Therefore they're equals in my book. We rode a bunch of times for the next hour or so switching between VR and non-VR and had a blast every time! Not everyone is a fan of VR but it will definitely make a lot more people smile than not. This is definitely a win for Six Flags! Give it a try and beat your buddies' high scores! On with the pics and videos! Empty parking lot. Definitely not something you see every day here! Look, goggles! Note the color-coding. Goggles, gondola, and an age restriction. Straps out the yin-yang! Sponsorship photo! I promise it's not the one that explodes. I really like this photo. Getting a gondola ready to ride! Final look at the headset storage.

^ El Toro. Duh.

That's because the station layout is awful. It was awful when it was Viper, it's even worse now that it sees a crowd.

Damn, I knew I should have grabbed some stock the other day. Jumped $4.50 in the past week.

Clearly you've never been to a TPR event.

Give me one good reason I would want to look at that toilet of a town.

Why's everyone mentioning the view from Zumanjaro? What's so breathtaking about it? Sure, you see the park and all, but central Jersey is flat and full of trees. If it were located by a mountain range or the world's largest brothel I'd see a reason to complain but as it stands, who cares?

RMC just posted a little tease on Facebook with these images and the caption "Is that Raptor track I see?"

I've never been one to credit whore, but I have been known to get swept up in the idiocy of a crowd. When that crowd is a TPR tour group, well, you can imagine the level of silly. Yeah, we broke the kiddie coaster at Mirabilandia. HEAR ME OUT! We had just finished an incredible morning with ERT on Katun and iSpeed. Blood was pumping, everyone was having an awesome start to their day (except the one or two dingalings that thought iSpeed was rough), and when the park officially opened to the public the closest coaster was the kiddie. Of course we got together and decided to jump on! A train full of young adult and middle aged American fatties. I'm pretty sure the ride op nearly fainted from the hilarity unfolding. Anyway, we leave the station and get up the lift and do a lap. All good, right? Well, this is a kiddie that does two or three laps where, normally, the train will roll through the station and the chain will catch it a little ways up the lift. Yeah, no. We barreled through the station like we were Tom Cruise running from the gay thoughts, flew 3/4 of the way up the lift, caught the chain and promptly stopped dead. Overloaded the motor. We had to sit there for five minutes while everything reset and then were sent through again, this time with hard brakes in the station. Good times!

Six Flags... smart?!?!? Ahahahahahaha!!! Oh. Wait. You were being serious?? SixFlags, the stupid company that has the only Intamin Plug and Play woodie in the United States. The stupid company that installed the first RMC, and then repeated the mistake by building more. The stupid company that is expanding their theme park season in many northern US parks because people want to visit parks even if not every coaster is open. Are they perfect? No. Are they bumbling fools? No B-b-but the Larson Superloops!

I may need to have a flamethrower on hand. I hate spiders...

^ Drove by the park a few weeks ago and saw some land clearing but zero vertical construction. That may have changed by now, though.

Everything is looking fantastic! Hansa was far and away the surprise hit on my trip last year. Can't wait to get a chance to return and experience Karnan in it's full finished glory! It's already my favorite ride but with the new lift tech going into effect and having the full queue (really a walk-through attraction in itself) ready to go will be incredible! Speaking of Karnan's finished version, is there any word on A/V effects in the lift? The music and SFX that were in place were practically begging for animatronics and/or screen effects.

Rainbow Magicland is the obvious direct competition. Zoomarine is nice but it's a (very tight) budget SeaWorld. Ironically, Zoomarine is doing better than both parks combined Oh geeze. I mean, it makes sense since operational costs for them must be far lower than two parks with heavy themeing, more staff, mechanical issues, etc.

Rainbow Magicland is the obvious direct competition. Zoomarine is nice but it's a (very tight) budget SeaWorld.

Generally a crowd looks like this -

I figured the world's greatest dark ride needed no introduction. My apologies.

^ Excuse you, but on one visit the pierogie stand was closed.

Your Google search history is leaking.

^ For the love of all that is holy, put it on the other side of the park. Winjas is the only reason to turn left at the main courtyard.

^ Thanks. Charts make everything better!

Wait, has this been a complaint? The RMC trains are great already.

What the hell did I just wander into? I know we coaster nerds are a special bunch but holy crap...

It's obviously track for the Mystic Timbers shed.