pagemaster_b

^Dark Tower's been out for a long time, that is in English. Just to forewarn you, the ending isn't what you'll think it will be. Just wait until you get to A Storm of Swords, it gets to be a huge mess for everyone. I'm currently reading A Feast for Crows. Finished Robert Jordan's newest Wheel of Time book a few days ago. Before that was a few fantasy books by little known writers. Once I'm done with my current read, I'll be trying to track down Terry Goodkind's newest Sword of Truth book. I have read the Harry Potter books, Lord of the Rings, Dragonlance and every other Margret Weis and Tracy Hickman books. I've also been known to read Tom Clancy, Robert Ludlum, Stephen King. Tad Williams has a great SF series called Otherland, and his War of the Flowers is also good. Da Vinci Code is overrated -- so-so writing with a so-so plot (and a bit predictable at times). From time to time, I've read some nonfiction books, though lately they tend to be about the military. Band of Brothers is a great book. Black Hawk Down is also good and much more informative than the movie. Jarhead is one of the worst books I ever read, and the movie is not much better (what waste of good actors).

Probably, as long as I could have some variety, like potato chips, French fries, potato salad, potato soup . . . Do you sleep on the couch? (And if you're married, how often?)

Just about any insects I don't like, especially the flying kind. Llamas are also a stong dislike. I spent a week on a fifty mile hike for Boy Scouts with a pack of llamas. It was horrible. They're one of the most obnoxious animals to work with. AND THEY SPIT!!!

The Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton. They have all kinds of props, costumes, and such from the tv shows and movies on display as you wait to go on their motion ride or 3D theater. The sets you walk through are full-scaled repilcas they used during filming (including the bridge of Enterprise-D). Plus at Quark's Bar they have several people dressed up as some of the aliens walking around.

Hold the mustard, please.

I had several trips to the ER as a toddler, all related to ear infections and such. Had tubes in my ears twice to drain the fluid behind the eardrum. I vaguely remember the last time, and it wasn't fun at all. I did have a few glorious accidents on my bike, but it wasn't until my car accident during my Senior year did I finally landed myself again in the ER. While driving into Salem one night, some moron in the other lane pulled in front of me into a driveway, and I hit him at 55 miles an hour. The only thing I got was a seatbelt abbrasion, but the paramedics took a look at the front end of my car and decided not to take any chances. They slapped on a C-collar (or whatever they called it) and strapped me to a board. One of the most uncomfortable things I've been on. To make it worse, my dad had driven my car earlier that day because his truck was getting worked on. His comments afterwards were what would break if it was ever in an accident. Sure enough, that night . . . The last trip to the ER happened in 1997 during my second week working the graveyard shift at WinCo Foods. Stupid me ran my foot over with a loaded pallet jack. Fractured and chipped my big toe, though I can never seem to remember which foot it was. The graveyard checker called me "Hop-along" for weeks afterwards because it hurt walking.

I no longer work at a grocery store, so I won't be getting one this year. However, in a few months I'll be going to Afghanistan so I know I'll be getting my Anthrax shots again--ugh!!!

Actually, yes. She's gone back to get her graduate degree. She even threaten to go to the same school as me. Kind of strange for someone a few years shy of sixty. Have you read the lastest Wheel of Time book by Robert Jordan?

No, because Fantasic Five just doesn't sound as good as Fantastic Four. Beside, I'd have to decide on a super power and there's just too many cool super abilities to narrow it down to one. Have you ever seen the Roger Rabbit cartoon "Roller Coaster Rabbit"?

Yes. He sits right inside my head. Is George gay?

Just when I thought the world couldn't get any more worse, and then THIS shows up!

Oh, I so forgot about those incidents. One guy plugged me in the head from five feet away. Another paintball just missed the mask and nailed me on my chin--that left a mark for a few days. One reason why I didn't like PE.

I do a lot of reading and writing. After watching the awful "The Pagemaster" movie, I knew I needed to come up with something better than that. At the time, only two ideas came to me: a mischievous kid bouncing through stories causing mayhem and a worm that ate through books. Over the years the two ideas merged together: a Pagemaster is someone who can physically step into their stories, and Bookworms eat Pagemasters writings. Sadly, that particular story still has not been written, but the concept of Pagemasters have bounced up numerous times in my stories. The whole "_b" part is from when I set up my email account with Yahoo. They were giving me a five digit number after "pagemaster" but I wanted something a little more personal. Brian is my first name.

Where shall I begin? Let's see . . . Volleyballs several times in the face while playing dodgeball and such. A basketball hit in the face during PE in middle school. A golf ball nailed me in the head AFTER it ricocheted off several walls. Playing crab ball, someone kicked an Earth ball at me, bowling me over and whacking my head on the gym floor. Whacked my head on pianos, dresser corners, concrete curbs. Clubbed several times in the head with pugel sticks during Basic Training. (Even with padding and helmets I still saw stars.) I know there's a lot more than this, but I don't remember. Needless to say, there's some kind of strange attraction with my head and inanimate objects, whether airborne or not. I guess that would explain why I'm so messed up.

Alton Towers should turn around and sue the Ropers for their factorying being over 28 decibals. If the Ropers are enforcing a sound limit, they should be following it as well.

I miss the comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes"!!! I understand why Bill Waterson stopped drawing them, but I think he could have caved into the strip's popularity a little bit.

Yes, especially with all the whines out there. Do the new Star War films suck?

I saw no actual reference to "Jumanji", but it's possible I missed it. It's a good movie, though I thought the script need some more work. Some of the side stories/plots were dangling open and often held little meaning for the rest the movie. The beginning with Tim Robins is the most notible. A lot of emotion and care with into that section, only to have it cast as side once the boys start playing the game, and it never comes back to it. And what happened to the game once they finished playing? That question never got answered. Scriptwise, "Jumanji" is better. Special effects-wise, "Zathura" is better. I loved how that house gets demolished throughout the movie. And I liked how little of the Zorgons you see--that made them a lot more creepy.

You should sign up for the Army, they've got plenty of tank course to wreak havoc on. I use to drive an Armored Personnel Carrier. No mounted gun, but it was still fun to drive. I earned the nickname "Airborne" from my unit's commander because I jumped that 12-14 ton beast straight up into the air. I had about a four or five foot clearance between the ground and treads. Not an easy thing to do. Anyways, if I have a billion dollars, the first thing I do is dump it in a Swiss Bank Account and just live off the interest. Quiting my job is a given, but why hurry? You know how much fun work becomes when you don't care about getting fired? (Watch "Office Space") An extended vacation would also be a good thing, especailly when morons who "know" me start begging for money. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing some people begging. I'd be discreet about who I would help, mainly those who have had difficult times. Of course, my own amusement park would be nice, taylored to my style and likes, but diverse enough that others would enjoy it as well. Great coasters, great food, and great times! (And hopefully at a cheap price so even the lower income people can enjoy it as well.)

As a member of the Army National Guard, it is my duty to say that this cartoon is tasteless, derogatory, and down right insulting. But I couldn't stop laughing my ass off!!! (And yes, I swear that a number of guys in my Guard unit signed up because somebody promised them free beer!)

^ Oddly, yes, but I normally don't watch it. Do you cry watching movies?

Here's something about the annoying paper work Veterans go through when dealing with the VA. Some years ago, a New Orleans lawyer sought a direct Veterans Administration loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be approved if he could provide proof of clear title to the property offered as collateral. The title for the property in question was complicated and he spent a considerable amount of time reviewing all pertinent documents back to 1803. Satisfied with the depth and expanse of his examination, he submitted the information to the VA. He soon received a reply from the VA.: "We received your letter today enclosing application for a loan for your client, supported by abstract of title. The application forms are complete, but you have not cleared the title before the year 1803. Therefore, before full review and possible approval can be accorded the application, it will be necessary that the title be cleared back before that year." Annoyed, the lawyer wrote the V.A.: "Your letter regarding titles in case #9378329 received. I note that you wish titles extended further back than I have presented. Your attention is invited to the following information to update your records for the property prior to 1803: a) I was unaware that any educated person would not know that the United States gained clear title to Louisiana from France in 1803.This title transfer was a result of a real estate transaction known as The Louisiana Purchase. b) France gained clear title to Louisiana by right of conquest from Spain under the Treaty of San Ildefonso (1800). c) The land came into the possession of Spain by right of discovery in 1492 by a sailor named Christopher Columbus. He was acting on behalf of Isabella, Queen of Spain, and had her permission to claim newly discovered lands for Spain. d) The good Queen, being a pious woman and careful about titles -- almost as careful as the V.A.-- took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before authorizing the voyage. e) The Pope is a servant of God. f) God created the world. g) Therefore, I believe that it is safe to presume that God created that part of the world called Louisiana and thus was the original title holder of the property in question.

^ There's a couple more coasters than that one. Canyon Blaster at Circus Circus, Speed the Ride at the Sahara, and the one top of the Stratosphere. (I highly recommend Speed! ) As much as I would like to hit up Vegas again, I'm broke.

Oceanspray used to have a fruit punch drink called Cran-tastic. It wasn't their typical bitter/sour taste and it was really good. However, Pepsi bought out Oceanspray and they quickly discontinued that drink. Shame on you Pepsi!!!

AMEN!!! Chocolate Covered Cherry, Vodka and Redbull, Sex on the Beach, Alabama Slammer, Martinis, Surfer on Acid, Seven and Seven, Hillybilly Punch, Hurricane, Jungle Juice, . . . Uh, we could be here awhile. Also, I like AMFs (stands for Adios Mother F#*%$!). Most places have a limit of two. We're talking six different liquors and a spash of a mix (typically pineapple juice, Seven-Up or Sprite, etc.) It's usually my last drink. If I'm not gone by then, AMF certainly will. (F#*%$!-Up Cowboy is the same way. And watch out if I have both in the same night!) If I have to mix it myself (like at home), it's any flavored Smirnoff with Coke or Pepsi.