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I tried to edit that post to add "mimmicks jerking off" at the end of it but I'm drunk at work (annual team meeting, stfu yall, I'm wearing a tie) and I can't figure out how to add that at the end. Maybe I shouldn't be daytime drunk TPRing.

but

No, you absolutely should be.

I wouldn't plan any Tuesday or Wednesday trips in May or June if I were you. This year's plan to address their endless staffing shortages is to cut starting pay by 25%. Cedar Point Cedar Point now hiring for 6,500 jobs ahead of 2022 season: Starting pay drops $5 an hour compared to last year

Plopsaland de Panne The flagship park in the Plopsa chain made major waves with their new-for-2021 addition. Ride to Happiness is easily the best Mack coaster, but it seems like a weird fit for the park. Plopsaland's main audience is families. Studio 100 is analogous to Nickelodeon, so the IPs the park is based upon are targeted towards kids and tweens. So this park is sort of a dream for coaster enthusiasts. In general, the more extreme an attraction was, the shorter its wait would be. I visited on a day when the park hit capacity (albeit covid capacity) and Ride to Happiness had a max wait of 20-30 minutes. Meanwhile the water rides and Roller Skater had waits exceeding an hour most of the day. There's a reason I do not have every credit from this park. There was no way I could justify waiting 70 minutes for a junior coaster when I could ride one of the world's best coasters 3 times in the same time period. Ride to Happiness is exceptional. The spinning is faster than that of Time Traveler, especially at the end of the first launch. The ride has the two of the world's best inversions. The super-slow jojo roll is insane, getting 5-6 seconds of sustained hangtime while slowly spinning. Then the flying snake dive has similarly crazy hangtime while navigating a super disorienting element in a spinning car. The coaster also has some great airtime, particularly on the broken up top hat. The lone dead spot on the ride is that turn before the second launch. The rest of the ride is complete perfection between the elements and spinning. And you also have some mesmerizing theming plus my favorite on-board audio of any coaster. Anubis is a good Gerstlauer launch coaster. It's basically Six Flags Over Georgia's Dare Devil Dive, except the beyond vertical drop is replaced with a very strong LSM launch and a great top hat. The inversions are pretty good and I love the ride's wooded setting (except when it comes to getting photos). Two rides you need to hit early are Heidi the Coaster and Viktor's Race. If the park is open late (like it was for me), these two rides will close early due to noise. Heidi also is the major coaster that gets the longest line. Heidi is essentially a clone of White Lightning, but it didn't seem to ride as strong. I only got one ride though towards the middle of the day, but it was smooth. And it did have a neat little dark ride scene before the finale. Draak was a Mack powered coaster. I got lucky and rode it after a breakdown because this was another ride that had a sizable wait. It was pretty tame, but that's what it's supposed to be. Beyond the ride lineup, Plopsaland has great theming. I wasn't familiar with the IPs, but the rides and midways looked great. They were colorful with plenty of things to look at. Belgium got an incredible boost to their coaster lineup in 2021. Unfortunately, I missed Kondaa due to the flooding, but Ride to Happiness (while an odd fit) is a world-class coaster. And the rest of the park is quite nice too.

SeaWorld San Diego has released the official POV of Emperor:

The park does look better at night. Walking around that mall at 2 am is going to be creepy. Then again, there isn't much people there when I've gone anyway.

There are a million questions here but I’ll try my best. First of all: when in May? Are we talking Memorial Day weekend here or mid-week in early May? There’s a massive difference. As for the hotel question, it depends but if you’re not wanting to rent a car I’m tempted to tell you to stay on-site. First off, you’ll save on the hotel parking fee. Second of all, while some nearby hotels that I do like offer a shuttle (The Comfort Inn on Canada Avenue comes to mind), it’s easier to just use Universal transportation when leaving the parks. Their budget hotels are very competitive and reasonable and you get in early. If you want to go bigger, stay at a hotel with free Express Pass. Some of those hotels (like Royal Pacific) are also just fantastic hotels. The Universal AP is a great deal compared to their day ticket but price it out. Note that if you come back in the fall you can ride Mummy, so that alone may convince you. You know what days you want to go though. Put it in the calendar and price it out. There are really no additional considerations here so it’s 100% a matter of admission price. The Seasonal Pass has no benefit aside from admission whatsoever unless they run a passholder hotel deal which they usually do in September. Two days is perfect. Express pass will probably make your day better but whether-or-not you “need” it depends on when you go. Memorial Day? Yes. A Tuesday and Wednesday in early May? Maybe not. It’s never a bad thing to have it, but I get that it can be incredibly expensive and it doesn’t work on Hagrid’s or Velocicoaster which is annoying. If you want Express, look to stay at a hotel that includes it. It may be cheaper than actually buying it separately for two days and you’ll be at a better hotel where you can walk or take a boat to the parks. If you’re there for two days, every dark ride and simulator is worth riding except for Fast and the Furious and Fallon. Minions is cute but tends to get insane lines for no reason so it’s skippable without Express if the line is long. If you get express, then just ride every ride except for Fast and the Furious because seriously f*ck that ride. It sucks and has two horrible pre shows that you’ll need to sit through too. The only reason to ride this ride is out of morbid curiosity or for bragging rights so that you can say you’ve now ridden the worst ride in Orlando and possibly the world. The water rides are all good but note that while Jurassic Park River Adventure is a must-ride, the other two are much wetter and will positively soak you to the bone. Don’t ride Ripsaw Falls or the rapids if you’re not okay with that. Don’t miss the Bourne Stuntacular. Best food: Disney Springs (uh… I mean… I don’t know, I liked Big Fire and Toothsome). Just Uber to the park, it’s not that far.

Most of the answers to your questions can be found on the Universal website. There are several options to get from MCO to Universal. Here are a few: https://www.rome2rio.com/map/Orlando-Airport-MCO/Universal-Orlando I'd recommend at least 2 days to hit both parks. They have packages that include hotel and tickets AND get you into the parks an hour early. If you're going on a week day in May, you may not need to buy express pass.

Oh, I don't think it would show up on any power-point presentation, but I'm betting it's in the back of their minds as something that has the potential to happen. I'm not sure you'll find it in any meeting notes. And yeah, I'm with you. I went to SFSTL on a BAFF day and it was shady as hell. I watched a girl literally piss herself in secret while we were waiting to board the Boss. We were the only ones who noticed.

Jurassic Quest! If you want to see some realistic looking dinosaurs....go watch the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies. If you want to see some awesome looking animatronics that look like real dinosaurs that are roaming this planet.....go to Universal Studios and ride some of their rides. If you want to see some robots that move about 2 inches that closely resemble some type of dinosaur....then Jurassic Quest is right up your alley. My boys have been enjoying the Camp Cretaceous show on Netflix so they were really excited that Jurassic Quest was coming to town so they could see some dinosaurs. There were a lot of animatronics, some bounce houses, some areas to "Dig for Dinos" and some "rides". It was a fun way to kill about an hour out of a day (and $35 per person!!!!!) so here's what we did. Enjoy the pictures! We are ready for Trailer Park Dinosaurs! This way to all the excitement! At least they gave us a very detailed map of where everything was! And here is the "Quest" part of Jurassic Quest! Find the clues, answer the clues, and get something at the end. Can you guess what it is? Read further down to find out.... "insert John Williams Jurassic Park theme" Here's some Dinos! And some more Dinos... The boys were pretty excited to see "Bumpy" from Camp Cretaceous. I think Jurassic Park may have taken some liberties on what the Velociraptor looked like. I wouldn't be terrified of these "birds" Oh my god! A Griffinsaurus is being hatched! Or it was just another egg from this weird looking nest. It's a Jacksonsaurus Rex! I would be terrified too if a dinosaur had red lights coming from its mouth! Cool fact...these are real dinosaur fossils and such. Another cool fact, this area had to be kept cool in order to preserve the artifacts. And then we saw a real dinosaur! It was a baby triceratops. And of course when we went in to take a picture, it started eating Griffin's hair. This was a cute little experience. Speaking of cute, look at that giant Allosaurus wanting to eat the baby Stegosaurus...that's so adorable! Moving outside, there were some larger dinosaurs on display. This Gigantosaurus was too loud for Griffin. And this one had a tail gone rogue...it was swinging wildly in the wind! Why are all the dinosaurs mouths open? Maybe that's how they really died...from swallowing things they weren't supposed to since their mouths were always open. Check out this guys fur coat! I'm sure Cruella De Vil is jealous of the fur! Best part of the whole experience (and the only reason it was sort of worth the money) were the awesomely themed bounce houses. Can't go wrong with a dinosaur on the loose trying to eat you as you are sliding down a slide! Some of these houses made me wish I was still a kid! But then I see some bounce houses where you slide into a dinosaur's butt and I'm glad I am not a kid anymore. Either way, the bounce houses were a hit and a great way to let loose some energy! Racing slides? Yes please! Continuing to stroll around, we came across some other, fierce looking Dinos. Spinosaurus anyone? Finally found the Tyrannosaurus and his little baby Rex. And when there's a Tyrannosaurus rex...there's almost always either a Triceratops or Stegosaurus fighting them. I guess those guys just never got along. And of course there's a Triceratops you can ride on. Speaking of "rides", you can "ride" some dinosaurs. They move about 1 foot and shake. It's like a massage chair on top of a dinosaur robot. But at least they have different ones you can "ride". But the best ride was being able to go on these "walking" dinosaurs. Griffin was so excited that he got to ride Bumpy from Camp Cretaceous! I don't think Bumpy was too thrilled.... There was also a place to dig for Dinos! Time to check out some underwater dinosaurs. But first....the Megalodon mouth! This thing was HUGE!! Actual Megalodon tooth. (Like how is says "Real Fossil" next to it......) I personally think the mouth was more impressive than the animatronic. But my boys thought the thing was HUGE and "just a great white shark". Hey Jeff Johnson...how's it going? (You thought I'd go a whole dinosaur report without that reference? Never!) The boys finish the "Quest" and got their prize! It was ... drum roll please ...... a tattoo and/or a sticker. Wow....it was totally worth it. So if Jurassic Quest ever comes to your city and you just so happen to have an extra $35 per person to spend on about an hours worth of time....maybe spend it on this attraction. That's all folks! Thanks for reading.

I thought the "hatching eggs" for photo ops was pretty cute. Looks like you guys had a great visit there! Thanks for sharing it all. And I am thoroughly sad that I never had any bounce houses in my childhood!

Today was a great day for Iron Gwazi. What a difference a day make! The previews opened with the park at 10. Dispatches were great - more often less than every 100 seconds as displayed by their countdown clock on the screen showing lap bar status. I went from 1 ride on Sunday to 20 today. I love it!!! The wait times were no longer than 5 minutes all day today, plus no wind issues or other maintenance problems while I was there. I certainly spent a lot of time riding there today.

Yup, the wooden village was still there! It's a good element, but there are several wilder ones on the ride!

That 90's commercial for the Jurassic Park toys was awesome. Back then, even the boys paleontologists toys rocked chain guns and flame throwers. "The dinosaurs at Jurassic Park are on the loose, again! Now, Grant is armed to the teeth, and Malcolm's loaded with weapons!!!"

it looks like the kiddos had a fantastic time. . which means it was absolutely worth the $$ spent. thanks for sharing these great pics. and now I have to decide if I'm disturbed, or jealous of that bounce house slide into a Dino butt.

A basic summary is that the raptors in Jurassic Park are actually based on Utahraptors, not velociraptors. But I just found an article that does a deep-dive into the raptors of JP and it's really fascinating! https://www.inverse.com/culture/spielberg-raptor-jurassic-park Thanks for the report! Sadly, the only way my sister would be able to afford taking my nephew to see this would be if they did a "mommy/son" or "daddy/son" day (they've got 4 kids, so def out of price range to take the whole fam). Also, I love Griffin's shirt.

The Jurassic movies DID take artistic liberties on raptors. It was either that or differing evidence of their appearance came out after the first movie, cant remember which.

Fiesta Texas is weird. It's a much, much higher quality of park than any other American Six Flags park and I have no clue why. They paint things, they theme things and they maintain things. It's wild. The only other Six Flags park that's on their level is Six Flags Mexico. I'm not really sure what I'd call the best in the chain. For me, it's probably either Fiesta or Great Adventure for entirely different reasons. One looks great and has a very good coaster lineup. One has a world-class coaster lineup that includes El Toro but also looks like a crack den.

If it has that result, I won't complain.

Non-Fungible-Token. Basically serialized digital images (EDIT: or any other type of digital file). One is paying to own the "original" of a digital file. That anyone can just screenshot. It makes no sense to me either, and I'm only 38.