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Fun Land of Fredericksburg

 

There are many painful credit stops out there. Some are in the middle of nowhere. Some empty your wallet. Some are embarrassing. And some are outright painful.

 

Fun Land of Fredericksburg is none of those things. It's minutes off I-95 and offers pay-per-ride options. And the credit is semi-respectable. Where there was once a powered kiddie coaster now stands one of those SBF spinners.

 

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One part arcade, one part outdoor park, all parts fun.

 

I believe Twist-n-Shout cost $6 and I boarded immediately. At this point, we've all been on at least one of these SBF spinners. As of 2019, they're the cool kids on the block when it comes to kids coasters. But this one is definitely one of the better ones for two reasons.

 

1) Location- The indoor setting makes the ride way more disorienting. You spin very close to walls and the flashing lights of the arcade is sensory overload.

 

2) Cycle- I'm pretty sure I got 7 or 8 laps. For my spinning adverse credit whores, that's probably your worst nightmare.

 

While I'll never go out of my way for one of these SBF spinners, I do enjoy them (to an extent) and have no shame riding them. 3 out of 10

 

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It did a lot of twisting, but I didn't do a lot of shouting.

 

Fun Land is split into an indoor and an outdoor section. The indoor section has a few other FEC staples like bumper cars, laser tag, rock walls, random kiddie rides, and arcade games.

 

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I've never been a fan of these circular cars, but they're a hit with the younger crowd.

 

The outdoor section has mini golf plus several attractions for the older crowd. The crown jewel is a multi-story go kart track that would make Fun Spot proud. Beyond that you have mini golf, a smaller go kart track, and a few classic flats like the Scrambler, Tilt-a-Whirl, and Round-Up.

 

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In Pigeon Forge, these multi-level go karts are everywhere. In Virginia, they're quite rare so this should be a major hit for the complex.

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Maybe it was the heat, but the outdoor spinning rides weren't too popular on this day.

 

My time at Fun Land was brief, but it seemed like a very well run FEC. Everything in the indoor section seemed brand new and it was quite busy for a Tuesday. The outdoor area wasn't too busy, but I attribute that to the 100 degree heat since that go kart track did look quite good.

 

I don't know if I'll be back to Fun Land anytime soon, but if you're into crazy go karts or credit whoring, it's well worth a stop if you're traveling between Kings Dominion and Washington DC.

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Man the last couple updates have me really missing the USA 2018 trip. Knoebels, KD, Hershey

 

Skyrush's seats are so unique. Looking back at the pictures of the trains the seats to curve up around your hips/thighs, but it sure doesn't feel like it around those turns. The laterals really make you feel like you're being flung off the ride!

 

Phoenix is right there with Skyrush as the most difficult coaster to put your hands up on. I think it took me 30-40 minutes of the ERT on Skyrush to learn the layout and put my hands up the whole time.

 

I miss Skyrush, i305, and Storm Runner! There are so many great coasters in that area of the country. Flats, too. I didn't get to ride Drop Tower as many times as I wanted to since it was my first time at the park. I really enjoyed that one.

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^ The feeling is mutual. Your update the other day had me missing Cedar Point!

 

If you love Skyrush's laterals, you really need to put Dubai's Flying Aces atop your bucket list. That ride has the same trains, but the laterals are even more violent than Skyrush.

 

I've ridden Phoenix enough that I can now keep my hands up, but that airtime on the finale is shocking your first time. Now I can't stop laughing. Meanwhile I had a death grip on the lap bar on PNE Playland's Coaster a few weeks ago. I don't know how that ride is legal, but I love it.

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Ha, I need to get back here soon. I have family that lives about 20 minutes away, and I did ride the kiddie coaster several years ago, but I guess I'll have to return to get my spinning coaster credit. Maybe this winter... Oh, and it looks the bumper cars have been updated since my last time when they were traditional ones.

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^ I was planning to stop in to ride Jett Star last year, but it was removed before my Busch Gardens trip.

 

That coaster is actually now at a trading post up in Vermont. So I may ride it one day, but only if my route goes directly past it since there's minimal information about it online.

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Awesome shrubbery around that Round Up, there.

Reminds me of what we used to take for granted here, at Playland(PNE!).

 

And then.....then....then it was........gone.

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I guess, PizzaPizza = PriceyPricey wanted-wanted more viewing space. The cads. )o: I miss our shrubbery.

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Edaville Family Theme Park

 

I’ve always called Canobie my home park. I mean, look at my screen name. But I have a confession to make; I actually grew up closer to Edaville. And it only took me 26 years to visit this place.

 

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Here's my true home park in all its glory.

 

Why so long to visit? There are a few reasons.

 

1) Edaville caters towards the younger crowd, but the park was SBNO throughout my childhood in the 1990s.

 

2) It’s expensive. Without a discount, Edaville will cost you ~$35.

 

3) I kept waiting for Kersplash to open.

 

It has become increasingly apparent that Kersplash may not open at this point. Originally it was supposed to open in 2016. Then 2017. Then 2018. Now the park has stopped giving updates about the ride.

 

The coaster has been fully assembled since 2015, but no one has seen the cars. The park’s famous train ride is narrated and it ominously goes silent as it passes Kersplash. It’s basically a giant elephant in the room.

 

Further, the ride is completely disconnected from the park. It doesn’t even have a path leading to it. I hope it opens someday, but I’m certainly not holding my breath until the park gives a firmer update.

 

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I'm pretty sure you could have gotten the same view of Kersplash back in 2015.

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Where's the path?

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Maybe one day I'll see this running. Until then, I have photos of it back in Washington.

 

It’s possible the park could be doing some secret work behind the scenes much like Knoebels did with Flying Turns all those years; however, I’m wondering if Edaville simply bit off more than they can chew.

 

You see, Kersplash isn’t the only half-finished construction project at Edaville. It’s the most prominent among enthusiasts, but the train route also passes an abandoned go kart track that’s also completely disconnected from the park.

 

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At first I thought this was some sort of maintenance road. Turns out, it was supposed to be a go kart track.

 

There’s even a mysterious ride rumored to be in the main park. As a whole, Edaville actually looks quite nice. But then there’s this plain white tarp covering one of the buildings.

 

Way back in 2016, this very white tarp was added advertising Pirate Adventure as “coming soon.” Sometime later, they removed mentions of Pirate Adventure ride but kept the tarp in place. I’ve heard it was supposed to be some sort of dark ride.

 

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Most of the park looked really nice. Take this Main Street.

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So the abandoned construction site of Pirate Adventure sticks out like a sore thumb.

 

I’ve spent enough time talking about what could have been or what may one day be, but I now want to talk about what Edaville actually has. It really is a cute, little park.

 

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I guess there are fish in there?

 

The anchor of the park is that train ride I’ve alluded to. It’s the only reason this park even exists. This historical railroad has been operating for over 70 years, but sometime recently it was rethemed to Thomas the Tank Engine.

 

The train loops around the entire park and then some. Edaville owns way more land than they know what to do with. You pass by Thomas Land, but then you keep going through the woods and pass by some ponds, cottages, and cranberry bogs. 7 out of 10

 

Two notes on the train. One, it’s long. I’m pretty sure it’s 20 minutes in length. Two, it only departs at set times. If you’ve been to Dollywood, this steam train is operated in a similar manner.

 

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I think I can. I think I can.

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There are the cranberry bogs.

 

The park is split into three areas- Thomas Land, Dino Land, and Cran Central. Yes, they have a land themed to cranberries. However, none of the rides tie into that theme. Basically, it’s just a land of carnival rides.

 

That included classics like a Tilt-a-Whirl, Scrambler, and Ferris Wheel. However, I rode none of them. The Tilt-a-Whirl was closed for maintenance and the others banned single riders. I’ve never seen that rule on a scrambler before, so that was a bit disappointing.

 

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I've never seen that rule on a Scrambler before.

 

I was able to ride the Spinning Ladybug Coaster without any problems though. And I got my dream spinning coaster scenario. I was paired with two parents and a child. The result? Constant spinning.

 

I think we got around 8 laps. These SBF Visa spinners are more common than Pidgeys, but I do enjoy them. I just won’t take them over an adult coaster unless that adult coaster is a cruddy SLC. 3 out of 10

 

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Kersplash was a bust, but at least there are still two other credits.

 

The other coaster was considerably taller than expected, the Troublesome Trucks Runaway Coaster. I figured this would be a dinky little oval, but this was a sizable 30ish foot tall junior coaster.

 

It’s a clone of the Circus Coaster at Coney Island. Fortunately, the main layout tracks better than that coaster, but this one has a brutal lift hill. About halfway up the lift, it feels like the train momentarily stalls and then violently jerks forwards. 3 out of 10

 

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I didn't feel completely dirty riding this one.

 

Up next was the park’s big, bad drop tower, Cranky’s Crane Drop. It stands a whopping 40 feet tall and offers brief views of Kersplash off in the distance.

 

The drop is very controlled, even more so than your usual junior tower, and it consists of a series of bounces. However, I did find the second drop had a good deal of weightlessness. 5 out of 10

 

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The whole Thomas Land area looked fantastic.

 

I was intrigued to try Toby’s Tilting Tracks. It looked like one of those crazy barn/crazy house flats minus the elevation. And that’s exactly what it was. The ride did dish out some funky outward lats at the start, but those quickly evaporated once it started to tilt. 4 out of 10

 

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I feel deceived. There aren't any tracks there.

 

The last ride I tried in Thomas Land was Winston’s Skyline Express. It’s a small monorail that loops around the area. It’s pretty similar to those junior monorails you see in Planet Snoopy at a Cedar Fair park. This one did have narration though. 6 out of 10

 

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Ok I watched Thomas the Tank Engine growing up. But who the heck is Winston?

 

Enthusiasts usually look down on Dinosaurs Alive. Not only is it an upcharge, but it simply isn’t good. I think I speak for all of us when I say we’d rather see a coaster there. Well Edaville did that. Sort of.

 

Their Dino Land has a story. Once upon a time, there was a roller coaster called the Gnome Coaster. One day, it was overrun by dinosaurs. I thought it was a clever way to link the area to the rest of the park, but I was shocked to see the area actually had the ripped up remnants of an old Molina kiddie coaster.

 

As far as dino areas go, this one was very long, well shaded, and had a nice mix of static and animated dinosaurs. 6 out of 10

 

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I feel like I've seen this entrance somewhere else...

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I love how they try to tie the area into the rest of the park with this story.

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I see a dinosaur and a coaster in pieces!

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I don't know how many people have this credit.

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What about mom?

 

After using the bathroom on the way out, I noticed a set of Bumper Cars tucked next to the arcade. And I saw one of the saddest sights you can see in an amusement park, a solo ride on a set of bumper cars. I felt sorry for them, so I decided to join them. They should at least have one target to hit.

 

But holy moly, these bumper cars were awful. The arena was tiny and had a series of column posts running down the middle. If that wasn’t bad enough, all the empty cars were haphazardly scattered about the center of the arena. 2 out of 10

 

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Oh and this ride has a "one way" rule as well.

 

Would I return to Edaville? I mean it this time, but I will not return in the summer season until Kersplash opens. It’s a very nice looking park, but it just doesn’t have enough major rides to justify the price point.

 

However, I would consider returning for their Christmas event, Festival of Lights. I’ve heard a lot of good things about it from my non-enthusiast friends.

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Zoomarine

 

Full disclosure, Zoomarine wasn't supposed to be my first park in Italy. I had much dirtier plans. Just 5 minutes down the road was a little park with a wacky worm. But this was no ordinary wacky worm. This was a wacky worm themed to a wiener dog. I had to ride it.

 

In what was probably a good thing, Fantasiland Luna Park was closed. The place looked like a dump. If you remember TPR's 2012 Italy trip, this was the closed park where they bribed an operator to let them on a galaxi coaster. No really, that's what they did. Link to TPR's 2012 Report

 

So instead my first park was Zoomarine, which is basically SeaWorld on a super budget. It doesn't do any one thing well, but it dips its toes in animal exhibits, amusement rides, and water slides.

 

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See that Arrow/Vekoma coaster in the logo? That doesn't exist here. And according to RCDB, it never has.

 

Saddened how I missed the dachshund themed wacky worm down the road, I consoled myself with the wacky worm themed to a shark. It's called Squalotto, but just call it the Baby Shark (you're welcome for getting that stuck in your head).

 

Wacky worms will never be confused with Steel Vengeance, but this one was exceptionally bad. I think baby shark needed some lube since it was screeching along and almost stalled on the top section. 1 out of 10

 

I was also reminded that operators in Europe place way more trust in riders than they do in America. Squalotto was the first of many coasters on the trip where the ops didn't physically check the restraints.

 

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I think Rome has a thing for wacky worms.

 

The star coaster at the park is Vertigo, a Schwarzkopf looping star. Despite being a portable model, Vertigo has several adult trees in the middle of the layout. It was surprising for a coaster that was relocated there less than a decade ago.

 

Vertigo also seemed to be running slow like the Baby Shark Coaster. The loop started with the positive Gs you'd expect from a Schwarzkopf, but the second half of the loop felt floaty. I can't think of any other Schwarzkopf loop that feels quite like it. Then the speed hill at the end lacked any air while I got some on the clone at Nagashima Spa Land.

 

The rest of the ride had the usual Schwarzkopf goodness- some nice laterals and a very smooth ride. It's quite remarkable how well Schwarzkopf coasters have aged. 7 out of 10

 

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Fortunately this Vertigo ran better than the one at Walibi Belgium.

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Schwarzkopf loops are always awesome.

 

The park's flume is the other notable ride. To start, it has not one, not two, but three drops. I can count on one hand how many flumes I've ridden with at least three drops.

 

The first and third drops were just ok, but the second drop was something else. It was a double down with an very surprising and abrupt pop of air. Needless to say, I wasn't expecting this little Italian park to have such an active flume.

 

Unfortunately, the rest of the course wasn't anything to write home about since it was just a wide open plot of land baking in the sun. That being said, it's still a solid flume mostly because of that double down. Just hold your nose since the water reeks. 7 out of 10

 

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That double down in the background was a nice surprise.

 

By contrast, the water on Hirakiri (wet/dry water slide) may have been too clean. The water looked soapy.

 

With 4 lanes, Hirakiri emphasizes the racing element. The actual slide portion is basically the water slide version of your carnival fun slide. 6 out of 10

 

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I chose the dry water slide.

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But if you want to get soaked, go for it.

 

Last but not least, I did the park's haunt, Galeone Maledetto. If I remember correctly it was an upcharge like most haunts in Europe. If so, save your money for the one at Rainbow MagicLand.

 

My favorite type of haunt is one that focuses on the atmosphere and theming more than the scares themselves. That being said, I can appreciate a haunt that tries to make people crap their pants. The one at Zoomarine did neither...unless you're scared of the dark.

 

The haunt was so dark I couldn't see anything including the path. I think the park is aware of this issue since the op follows people inside and barks directions (right, left, not there, etc). Beyond him, I think there was only one other scare actor who did nothing more than yell boo. If I want to hear boos, I'll go to the Celtics game when Kyrie Irving returns to Boston. 2 out of 10

 

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It took me a long time to find the entrance to the haunt because it was unmarked and literally next to the bathroom.

 

My tummy was rumbling so I grabbed a pizza. Unless you're in central PA, theme park pizza can be hot, greasy garbage. But since Zoomarine is in Italy, it guaranteed the pizza would be amazing. The margarita pizza was as good as the best wood fired places back home.

 

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This was the worst pizza I had in Italy. And it was still great.

 

My visit was short and it didn't coincide with any of the animal shows, so my visit didn't extend beyond the amusement rides. I don't think it's a full day park, but it's close enough to Rome's best parks that you can shoehorn in this Schwarzkopf.

 

One last note, the park really pushes their Fast Pass when you purchase an online ticket. Having visited the park, it seems laughable anyone would need it. I visited on a sunny, summer Saturday and everything was a walk-on. Even Dorney gets worse lines.

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Cinecitta World

 

I previously called Motiongate Dubai a budget Universal park. Cinecitta World is a budget Motiongate or a super budget Universal Studios. Choose whichever description you prefer more.

 

The journey between Zoomarine and Cinecitta World was treacherous. I felt like I was on Kilimanjaro Safari minus the animals. It was an uneven and bumpy dirt road. But eventually I reached my final destination.

 

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That's an awfully generic entrance.

 

Fortunately there was a much grander entrance hiding behind that archway. And that set the tone for the park. In general, Cinnecita World looked fantastic outside of a few large show buildings that stick out like sore thumbs. But would the rides deliver?

 

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The entrance behind the entrance looked way better.

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I definitely got Universal vibes from this park.

 

I started with Aktium, which is a contender in the "is it a coaster" debate. Here you have a splash boat using the Mack water coaster system. RCDB doesn't consider it a coaster, but I sort of feel like anyone who counts Atlantica Super Splash needs to count this as well. The elevated turns are gravity driven and there is a bunny hop after the final drop.

 

Whatever it is to you, the two drops are quite good. Each had some nice airtime and even the speed hill had a little air. And while the resulting splash is massive, it projects the water outwards rather than onto the riders.

 

But beyond those drops, most of the ride is spent slowly meandering around an unshaded plot of land. I found myself just wanting to get to the action. 6 out of 10

 

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There's an argument why this could be called a coaster.

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Peer through the ancient ruins.

 

I then made my way into Spaceland (that's actually the name) and rode the park's signature coaster, Altair. This is one of those 10 inversion coasters like Colossus at Thorpe Park, but Altair has two major modifications.

 

One, this one replaced the forgettable first drop of Colossus with a steep twisting drop. If you're in the back, you'll get a quick pop of air. Two, Altair has lap bars as opposed to OSTRs. Like most enthusiasts, I absolutely love the freedom of a lap bar, particularly on coasters with inversions.

 

The rest of the ride was just like Colossus. You have a forceful loop, a speed hill with no air, a cruddy cobra roll, two decently snappy corkscrews, and the signature quintuple barrel roll finale. I love how each barrel roll starts with some whip and then flawlessly transitions to ridiculous hangtime.

 

The ride is good and undeniably disorienting, particularly due to the finale. But it isn't quite as intense as some of Intamin's other offerings like Fahrenheit. 7.5 out of 10

 

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I still can't believe it's called Spaceland.

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[star Trek music plays in the background]

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This is one of the rare parts of the ride where you aren't upside-down.

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This is more indicative of Altair.

 

After passing through the wild west area, I was greeted by the most confusing flying theater I have ever seen in Volarium. Now admittedly I don't speak Italian, but the themes just didn't match up. The queue gives a futuristic theme.

 

Then the preshow gives more of a cartoony vibe. You have some dude who looks like Colonel Sanders being interrupted and electrocuted by this floaty blob thing. Still with me?

 

After a quick elevator ride, you board the flying theater. You know that shot in a historical movie where they slowly pan over a golden-brown document? That's how the ride began. It's a bizarre way to start a flying theater. But it only gets weirder.

 

They then show that naked guy who represents the perfect ratio and you fly towards his penis. It then jump cuts to the Mona Lisa. I think the ride is supposed to be a tour through history and art.

 

The movement was fluid, but the image was pretty washed out and the scenes just didn't lend themselves to a flying theater. It felt like we were just panning over an image rather than going on a journey like Soarin'. Simply put, this is the worst flying theater I've done. 3 out of 10

 

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You'd think this would lead to some high-tech, futuristic ride, but it delved more into classic history.

 

Jurassic War is a ride that would make Universal cream their pants. Basically it took the King Kong Skull Island ride system and themed it to Jurassic Park. They even had the 3D glasses and water sprayers for thoroughness.

 

The concept is fine. I actually like Skull Island. The problem with Jurassic War is one of the same problems of Volarium, the image quality. It's terrible. It's unfortunate since the ride movement is actually pretty convincing. 4 out of 10

 

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Oh man, Universal ripped off this random ride in Italy.

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I love how the t-rex has blood dripping from his mouth.

 

At that point, I decided to finish the day with two Intamins. I figured I couldn't go wrong there.

 

Inferno is their indoor coaster. The grim theme of hell and volcanic destruction is something you'd expect from Merlin. What is it with these Intamin family coasters always having dark themes like this- Skull Mountain, Thirteen, and now this?

 

Now there will be some spoilers, so skip to the photos if you want to avoid them.

 

The ride is more forceful than you'd expect. The helices have some decent power and there's even one of those rapid transitions that combines airtime and lats. But the star is a freefall drop track. These are always a blast if you ask me.

 

The finale is pretty dull. I think they just needed to get back to the station so you slowly launch around a turn or two. But everything up to that point is quite good and definitely augmented by the darkness. 7 out of 10

 

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Is it hell or is it a volcanic eruption?

 

The last ride was actually my favorite Indiana Adventure. It's a giant drop tower built in an elephant's rear end. The lunacy of that alone brought a smile to my face, but it grew even bigger when I saw the floorless, tilting side.

 

Few rides genuinely terrify me, but those things do and I love it. The drop is particularly suspenseful. I always have a fear my nuts will get squashed, but they never do. It's a natural born fear.

 

And the drop itself is breathtaking. You float the whole way down. It feels like you're base jumping towards the ground. 10 out of 10

 

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More drop towers need to be built out of an elephant's butt.

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The stand-up floorless side wasn't too popular.

 

So my thoughts about Cinecitta World are mixed. You have a trio of good Intamins and some great architecture. However, the ride experiences often felt hollow. It's like the park spent all their budget erecting these grand buildings but they ran out of cash to fill them.

 

I wouldn't recommend adding it to a Europe coaster trip on its own, but if you're in Rome, it's probably the area's second best park (foreshadowing the next update).

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^ That's good. They probably had too many complaints about

the really FAST STOP it would do, and many howls of protest, did occur.

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(2008) Larry REALLY wanting to get off. And Brian, checking to see that everything's "still there." :p

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Rainbow MagicLand

 

Until a few years ago, the theme park scene around Rome was lacking. It was nothing more than a goldmine of wacky worms. Then Rainbow MagicLand came along and raised the bar.

 

I visited Rainbow MagicLand on the same day as Zoomarine and Cinecitta World. While the other two parks were deserted, Rainbow MagicLand was packed for a 90s Dance Party.

 

For that reason, I'm thankful they offered a skip-the-line pass. It's worth noting the pass available online only lets you skip each ride once, but they offer an unlimited option at the park.

 

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Rainbow MagicLand was my first experience with a parking procedure quite common for Europe. As opposed to paying when you enter the lot, you grab a ticket and pay at a machine on the way out. It wasn’t hard; it was just confusing at first since I had never seen it done that way for a theme park.

 

The entirety of my visit took place in the evening. Usually I love visiting parks at night. There’s something magical about a well-lit midway. However, that isn’t a thing at Rainbow MagicLand.

 

The park was so dark, myself and many others used our phone’s flashlights to navigate the pathways. Because of this, I have no doubt I missed a lot of details visible in daylight hours. That being said, the areas with sufficient lighting looked fantastic!

 

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The dark was ridiculously dark. Note the guests using their phone's flashlights. It was 100% necessary!

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But what I could see looked fantastic.

 

I started with Shock, the launched Maurer. To start, it's honestly shocking (pun intended) how smooth this ride is. Maybe it's the single cars, but if only Rip Ride Rockit was this smooth.

 

The initial launch is quite good. It takes a bit to reach it's top speed, but you really feel it when it does. And that's followed by the highlight of the ride, a massive camelback with some serious sustained airtime.

 

The rest of the first half is equally as intense. You have this funky hybrid turnaround/top hat that offers two distinct pops of air and lats as you enter and exit. That's followed by this ridiculous low-to-the-ground overbank that pulls some serious Gs.

 

After a pop of air into the MCBR, Shock loses something. The second half is really slow. But the ride does have one saving grace left, an awesome zero-G roll. This is one element I think is better with less speed.

 

I wouldn't mind to see Maurer bring something like Shock to the US. It may be short, but the first half in particular packs a serious punch. 8 out of 10

 

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Shock is a blur.

 

Another casualty of my night visit was Isola Volante, the flying island. I believe the park has a beautiful mountain backdrop. At night, these mountains were as invisible as a second train at Mt. Olympus.

 

One other issue with this flying island is that it didn’t rotate. Because the ride is located in the far corner of the park, only the side facing the park had any sort of view at night. 6 out of 10

 

I had a prime spot at the start, but figured I should switch with others. As expected, someone jumped on my spot. What I wasn’t expecting was for them to sit down with their back against the railing and whip out their phone. Why enjoy a view from 200 feet in the air when you can play Angry Birds?

 

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It's fascinating how these flying islands work.

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Enjoy the view of the park because there's nothing else to see.

 

One of my sister’s favorite shows growing up was Winx Club. I never watched it, but I was familiar with it. I never realized the show was all that popular, so I was stunned the IP had a whole ride themed to it.

 

The ride is essentially the Peter Pan ride system past a series of miniatures straight out of the Storybook Land Cruise. Every once and a while, this was broken up by a giant statue of a Winx girl. I’m guessing this ride opened as something entirely different and was overlaid with the Winx Club later? 6 out of 10

 

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I guess Winx Club was more popular overseas?

 

Across the way was Dune, the extended roller skater. Call me crazy, but I honestly prefer the smaller roller skaters. I find the original restraints more comfy and the ride to hold its speed better. 3 out of 10

 

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Considering how hot Rome gets in the summer, it’s not surprising Rainbow MagicLand boasts a full collection of water rides. Arguably the most visually stunning is Nui Lua, their log flume.

 

The flume is built around a volcano. Heck it even erupts like the one at DisneySea! However, there is one major drawback to this visual spectacle. When the mountain is going to erupt, they cycle empty logs.

 

The flume itself was a bit of a letdown. The drops weren’t very good and the splashdowns were very abrupt. Speaking of the splashdowns, those won’t get you wet. But the turns sure will. 7 out of 10

 

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Tokyo DisneySea isn't the only park with an erupting volcano now.

 

In the span of a few hours, I realized Rome has a fetish for wacky worms. I’d say it was the adorable face on the lead car, but this was the first of the day actually themed to a worm.

 

Everything after the lift was business as usual, but this one had a gratuitous pre-lift. It added zero value to the ride, but at least I can say I rode a “custom” wacky worm. 2 out of 10

 

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Look at that extra long pre-lift in all its glory.

 

Outside of Shock, the park’s most notable coaster was the indoor spinner, Cagliostro. I figured this would be your usual Maurer clone (like the one at Lagoon or Seabreeze) just inside a box. I was wrong.

 

I’d estimate the building is ~60 feet tall, so it was the right size for that off-the-shelf layout. But after a short lift, we went around a quick hairpin turn outside and dropped into a pit. What an awesome start!

 

The rest of the ride was a minimally braked coaster in complete darkness. Combined with the spinning, I had zero clue where I was going. I’m still confused why they erected this ride in a pit when it very easily could have fit in building, but it was a great fakeout for an enthusiast. 7 out of 10

 

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This spinner is 99% indoors. Here's the 1% that isn't.

 

After a laughably bad haunted walkthrough at Zoomarine, I found a very good one at Rainbow MagicLand in the Haunted Hotel. Part of it may have been the group I was with since they were terrified!

 

The detail on this haunt was top notch. While you got lost in the theming, a scare actor was ready to startle you from behind. It was the perfect use of misdirection.

 

The other neat thing about this haunt was the number of animatronics that got extremely close to guests. This is something that would never fly in America. 8 out of 10

 

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For some reason, I didn't find this hotel on TripAdvisor.

 

Like the flying island, I imagine their drop tower (Mystika) would have been better in the daytime. Instead of seeing Italy’s natural beauty, I was treated to a bubble rave in the distance to the Numa Numa song.

 

The drop on this one started off very promising. The drop happened after a long hold with zero warning. And the moment of descent gave a great stomach drop sensation.

 

However, it was all downhill from there (literally). You know how Larson towers smoothly brake in a short distance? Mystika tried to do the same. Mystika braked in a short distance. Except you stop about 1/3 up the tower and the landing isn’t what I’d call smooth. 6 out of 10

 

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I was stunned to see stars this close to a major city like Rome.

 

I’d say that landing was the roughest ride of the day, but I still had the mine train to ride, Olandese Volante. It turns out this is a Vekoma mine train, but you could have convinced me it was from Golden Horse.

 

This thing tracked poorly. It had a horrid rattle throughout and it was one rough turn after another. I think it would have been ok if the vehicles were padded, but they weren’t. It was a shame since the theming around the ride looked fantastic. 2 out of 10

 

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My back still hurts.

 

A ride with theming and no pain was the indoor shooter, Huntik 5D. The ride mixed physical sets with screens. The latter would have been excellent if they didn’t have some lag and frame rate issues.

 

The ride also threw in some motion simulator bits towards the end, which was a neat touch and something I wasn’t expecting. Ultimately, Huntik is an ambitious, but the execution is a bit flawed. 7 out of 10

 

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Saving the two soaking water rides for the night probably wasn't the smartest decision. But since I toured the park clockwise, it just happened to work out that way.

 

Their splash boat, Yucatan, looked incredible. The lifts take place in this beautiful Mayan temple. While there isn't anything to look at inside the temple, the outside is so stunning that I can look past that.

 

The first drop on this one didn't do anything, but the second drop was good. It had some yank and dished out a little air. And the resulting splash got me soaked in the manner I enjoy, everywhere but my shoes. 8 out of 10

 

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This ride looked too nice to be ancient ruins.

 

Rapide was a terrifying river rapids ride. Picture this. You're floating down a pitch black river. You hear a waterfall. But you can't see it until it's on top of you.

 

That's essentially what happened on Rapide. And it happened a lot since this ride had 7-8 waterfalls! While none of them are total soakers on their own, the cumulative sum sure is.

 

Ironically, Rapide was pretty light on the rapids but the waterfalls more than compensated. I also want to note I’ve heard this rapids ride was well-themed, but I couldn’t see anything at night. 7 out of 10

 

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It was too dark to get any photos of the river rapids, so here's a picture of the park's fountains instead.

 

Shock is great, but it has one issue- capacity. For a park trying to attract big crowds, it's odd they'd have their star coaster only seat 6 people. Worried they’d close the queue, I got there an hour before close.

 

Fortunately, the standby queue shrunk significantly so I was able to get two more rides, waiting about a half hour each time. It appeared they kept the queue open until 15 minutes before closing.

 

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There are definitely better parks in Europe, but those parks have been around considerably longer. That's why I'm really excited to see what this park does in the coming years.

 

Rainbow MagicLand already has some great ride pieces already- a star coaster, an awesome water ride collection, and some decent dark rides. So if they continue the same level of theming on future expansions, the park will only improve.

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Gardaland

 

I know Merlin parks don’t have the best reputation. From my experience, my only gripes with Merlin parks have been ride closures and poor hours. Fortunately, Gardaland suffered from neither.

 

Gardaland was a pleasant surprise. The rides were about what I expected, but the operations, landscaping, and theming were beyond what I had anticipated.

 

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What the heck kind of animal is that?

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I had an unhealthy obsession with floral clocks in Roller Coaster Tycoon.

 

For example, Blue Tornado is the park’s SLC. This ride runs not one, not two, but three trains! And they do it with minimal stacking. It must be the magical power of the bonus helix.

 

As for how Blue Tornado rode, ouch. While most SLCs have this soft padding by your ears, Blue Tornado has hard padding. That combined with the usual piss poor tracking makes this one of the worst SLCs out there. 1 out of 10

 

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*Triggering SLC PTSD*

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If Blue Tornado was intended to simulate a plane crash, it succeeded.

 

I was equally as apprehensive for the Vekoma mine train next door. Mammut looked incredible. It’s faux mountain wouldn’t be out-of-place at a Disney park. But I was still scarred from my painful ride on the version at Rainbow MagicLand.

 

Thankfully Mammut was quite good. It tracked well and had countless near-misses. But the most surprising thing was the airtime. There were 3 lifts and each section had at least 1-2 quick pops of air. It was like a budget Big Thunder Mountain. 7 out of 10

 

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Can you find the train?

 

My most anticipated ride at the park was Raptor, the original B&M wing rider. This ride highlights both the strengths and weaknesses of the wing riders perfectly.

 

On one hand, this one had near-misses out the wazoo. You narrowly duck through caves and military equipment. This one also had a ton of hangtime in the inversions.

 

On the other hand, Raptor was tame. I know wing riders are often deemed forceless, but this was the weakest of the bunch. This one also had the original vest restraints that had zero give.

 

Ultimately, I did really enjoy Raptor. It may be down there with X-Flight for my least favorite B&M wing rider, but those near-misses and floaty bits are still fun. Plus I love that straight first drop. I wish more B&M loopers had those. 8 out of 10

 

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The near-misses on this ride are incredible.

 

Since it was a bazillion degrees outside, I decided to take refuge on their Pirates of the Caribbean knockoff, Corsari: la Vendetta del Fantasma. However, there was a brief delay getting into the air conditioning.

 

To enter the ride, you pass through this beautiful pirate ship. At the time I queued up, they were using that ship for a musical show. They staged us in an outdoor queuing area until the show concluded, but at least it was entertaining.

 

Corsari emulated two of my favorite scenes from Pirates, the town scene and the battle scene. While the animatronics weren’t on the level of Disney, they were still a cut above your typical regional park and they were often complimented by some nice projection mapping. 8 out of 10

 

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There are far worse operational delays than a show.

 

Up next was the most baffling ride of the day, Sequoia Magic Loop. I always wondered why there weren’t more S&S screaming squirrels. Then I rode this thing and I totally get why there aren’t more.

 

For one, the capacity is putrid. Plenty of rides can make do with 4 car trains (take a wild mouse), but at least those rides can have multiple cars on the circuit at once. Sequoia Magic Loop couldn’t dispatch the next train until the prior one returned to the station.

 

But more importantly, the ride is just awkward. I didn’t find it painful; it just wasn’t enjoyable. This ride never gains any speed. Even on the transitions from upright to upside down, it simply feels like you’re moving down a conveyor belt.

 

Considering I’m usually a big fan of hangtime, I was surprised I hated Sequoia Magic Loop. It was a boring and dysfunctional coaster. It just seemed like a gimmick gone wrong. 2 out of 10

 

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WTF is this thing?

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I can't tell if they're smiles of joy or awkwardness.

 

Next door was Shaman, the park’s Vekoma looper. I was surprised this one had zero air on the first drop; that’s usually a trademark on the Arrow and Vekoma loopers, but this one was quite smooth.

 

This allowed me to enjoy the decently forceful loops, quick pop of air into the turnaround, the brief floaty feeling in the corkscrews, and the final helix which whizzed past fountains. 6 out of 10

 

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I love how Shaman wraps around that S&S piece of trash.

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I then laid my eyes on the most WTF wacky worm in existence, Ortobruco Tour. I feel like this ride is what happens if you let someone who doesn’t know how to play Roller Coaster Tycoon design their own custom roller coaster. I think there were like 5-6 different booster lifts.

 

In many ways, Ortobruco Tour felt more like a monorail on the back of a silly-looking worm. That being said, its oddness and sheer length makes it one of the better kids coasters out there. 3 out of 10

 

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Kung Fu Panda Master was another coaster that I’d consider trash. I love the Kung Fu Panda area, but this ride hurts.

 

The beginning starts innocently enough with some hairpin turns and a solid drop, but it all goes to hell on the first turnaround. The lap bars on this ride rest nowhere near your lap. So anytime the coaster brakes or goes through a sharp turn, you’re punched in the gut. 3 out of10

 

By this point, I realized Gardaland had some truly awful coasters. It’s sort of disturbing this painful thing wasn’t even in the park’s bottom two coasters. Thank Blue Tornado and Sequoia Magic Loop for that.

 

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Tell Six Flags this is the real Panda-monium.

 

The park’s other dark ride, Ramses: II Risveglio, felt like a longer, more fleshed out version of the Lost Kingdom Adventure rides at Legoland. This one had grander sets, but it had the same theme, similar laser sights on the guns, and multiple colored targets.

 

The ease of shooting combined with the long ride and large physical sets made Ramses a real winner. 8 out of 10

 

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I then journeyed from Egypt into space. My vessel was Space Vertigo, the adorable little Intamin drop tower. It’s sort of funny to call a drop tower adorable, but just take a look at this thing.

 

It’s dwarfed by the two rides next to it in Oblivion and Flying Island. And this thing also wears a hat. I know that hat is a spaceship, but the insides are as empty as a hat. So let me call it a hat.

 

But despite its small stature and completely obstructed views, this one delivered one mighty drop. You drop like a rock. I had that wonderful floaty feeling in my stomach the whole way down. 8 out of 10

 

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I love how this drop tower has a hat.

 

I then rode Oblivion. I heard this ride had an awesome queue line, so I was a bit bummed the skip-the-line pass bypassed it. On the other hand, I really can’t complain about skipping a 45 minute line.

 

Per usual, the highlight on this dive coaster was the signature first drop. The pull in the back row was fantastic and it was filled with floater air the whole way down. While the Immelmann was nothing per usual, the following camelback and zero-G roll had some nice airtime and hangtime respectively.

 

While this isn’t as large as the North American dive coasters, it’s a really fun ride. I also need to note that the views are breathtaking. I haven’t touched on this yet, but Gardaland has an amazing setting on a lake surrounded by mountains. 8 out of 10

 

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Does anyone else find it ironic a ride themed to black holes is white?

 

For that reason, I made darn sure to ride their Flying Island. Unlike the one at Rainbow MagicLand, this one actually rotated. This allowed everyone to have an equal opportunity to admire the spectacular views of the park and natural landscape. The only bummer was how short the ride was. I think we only got one rotation once the ride reached its max height. 8 out of 10

 

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You can either enjoy the scenic views.

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Or stare at the inverted Vekoma boomerang next door.

 

Last but not least, I rode the park’s splash boat in Fuga de Atlantide. Usually I skip these rides, but this one was notable for two reasons. One, it had some excellent theming. Two, it was gratuitously over-engineered by Intamin.

 

This thing has not one, but two cable lifts. Tell me another water ride with one of those. In addition, it has coaster track for the turns and drops. I could actually see some people calling this a roller coaster even though it doesn’t feel like one in any way.

 

I was a bit disappointed by the drops. With the speed from the cable lifts and Intamin’s track record, I expected some air. But I got none. That being said, the drops were snappier than your usual shoot-the-shoots. And the splash doesn’t get you wet. But don’t worry, the water cannons will. 8 out of 10

 

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Gardaland was a really pleasant park. It’s located in a scenic part of Italy and the park’s theming and landscaping compliments the surroundings nicely.

 

Really the only fault I have with the park is the coaster lineup. Raptor and Oblivion are good rides, but neither are destination coasters. And I also didn’t think a park could create a worse bottom three than Canada’s Wonderland, but Blue Tornado, Sequoia Magic Loop, and Kung Fu Panda just may do it.

 

If Gardaland added a signature coaster, I’d return in a heartbeat since this park has everything else in place- beauty, theming, good operations, dark rides, and water rides.

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