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Posted

It was a shopping list and it read: Top Ramen, Mac and Cheese, condoms.

 

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

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Posted

You must have been a Japanese traffic light in a previous life.

 

Why did Amtrak name some of their railcars after California cities?

Posted

Actually, they can, but their flights are very short, mostly in a downward motion, and conclude with a violent impact.

 

We file Form 1040 for our taxes...what happened to Forms 1 through 1039?

Posted

So he'll think it's made from those sweet grape tomatoes.

 

When we make a call, why do they make us dial a "1" before the area code on our land lines, but not on our cell phones?

Posted

Because he already has a secret crush on Spongebob.

 

Who opened that first oyster and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"

Posted

It's an evil plot between doctors and food manufacturers. The more tasty---yet bad---food you eat, the more times you'll have to visit the doctor.

 

I went to SFMM earlier...why was X2 closed?

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