The Cheat Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Okay so, Im talking to Robb about.. That thing, and all of a sudden Robbs all like: RobbAlvey (9:31:40 PM): OH!!!! RobbAlvey (9:31:49 PM): Elissa wants you to get her fondue! KSFCptnAwesome (9:31:54 PM): wtf RobbAlvey (9:31:57 PM): FUCK YOU! KSFCptnAwesome (9:32:00 PM): from where? RobbAlvey (9:32:03 PM): GET HER FONDUE BITCH!!!!! RobbAlvey (9:32:13 PM): Dan sucks so you're her only hope. RobbAlvey (9:32:20 PM): ok, now do you want the back story? KSFCptnAwesome (9:32:26 PM): I dont even know if Vons has any... KSFCptnAwesome (9:32:27 PM): sure RobbAlvey (9:32:43 PM): ok you know she's fucked when it comes to her stupid eating habits KSFCptnAwesome (9:32:52 PM): yeah RobbAlvey (9:33:27 PM): ok, so she's found this Fondue at our local Vons, it's the "Safeway brand - Swiss Fondue." RobbAlvey (9:33:33 PM): and for whatever reason our store has been out of it RobbAlvey (9:33:47 PM): so she bought out ALL THE FREAKING FONDUE from all the stores in Santa Clarita!!!! RobbAlvey (9:33:53 PM): yes, she is THAT fucking insane. KSFCptnAwesome (9:33:55 PM): WHAT THE HELL RobbAlvey (9:33:57 PM): and now there isn't any left! RobbAlvey (9:34:04 PM): they keep telling her "it's on order it will be back." RobbAlvey (9:34:08 PM): but there is no more! KSFCptnAwesome (9:34:10 PM): if she came to my register I would be like "no" RobbAlvey (9:34:20 PM): LMAO! KSFCptnAwesome (9:34:30 PM): I would just tell herno KSFCptnAwesome (9:34:33 PM): **her no KSFCptnAwesome (9:34:42 PM): I mean, I like fondue, but is it really that good RobbAlvey (9:34:47 PM): even if she was all like crazy and insane? KSFCptnAwesome (9:34:55 PM): yes RobbAlvey (9:34:59 PM): dude, she only eats like 7 things! RobbAlvey (9:35:26 PM): And Dan's faggy store doesn't have a brand of fondue she likes And then I get an IM from Elissa saying: Elissa (9:34:55 PM): YOU SUCK...GET ME MY DAMN FONDUE VONS BITCH! And then Dan sends me an IM: Dan (9:35:09 PM): TELL THE BITCH THE ONLY FONDUE SHES GOING TO GET IS FROM YOUR PANTS! So I send those to robb, I guess he thinks its awesome THAT SHE WANTS TO KILL ME! RobbAlvey (9:36:02 PM): awesome RobbAlvey (9:36:16 PM): we would have had a fondue party tonight, but NOOOOO you didn't get her the fondue! KSFCptnAwesome (9:36:35 PM): what would she do if I like, mailed some And then after that it gets graphic. But anyways, I'm pretty damn scared... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cheat Posted May 22, 2006 Author Share Posted May 22, 2006 Yeah so. After that happened I started to think of genius ideas to torment Elissa. Like taking pictures of me at work holding fondue and going on an adventure with it (that part was robbs idea). Then I thought it would be awesome if I bought some ate it and took pictures of me eating it. And then the idea of not cooking it but just take pictures of me dumping it out so that then she knows that she will NEVER get to eat the fondue. And then Dan sends me an im saying Run cause shes getting back on. Elissa (10:05:46 PM): I'm so going to get your ass fired if you don't get me my fucking fondue! KSFCptnAwesome (10:05:57 PM): yeah right KSFCptnAwesome (10:06:44 PM): so do you like my ideas? Especially the one about sending you an empty container of it Elissa (10:10:31 PM): DIE KSFCptnAwesome (10:11:10 PM): I thought of another bad ass idea. I just buy some and then take pictures of me dumping it down the drain. Then NOBODY gets to eat it, but mostly just not you Elissa (10:13:23 PM): I'm just going to go find some on my own, freeze it, then WHACK you in the head with it! After that it got pretty graphic and I cant expose the truth about her just yet. Even more details coming soon.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaneymon Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 WTF!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollermonkey Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 ^^Don't worry, she tells everyone to die, but really she's a sweetie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue0ctane Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Oh, I figured that Elissa's AIM name would be SharkTums...meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekRx Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Watch out Elissa, more fanboys now know your secret AIM name! Now you're really ready to kill! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twister II Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Maybe it's just me, but did you make sure with both Robb and Elissa it was okay to post this? I mean, this is a personal conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheStig Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 I dont know what to take from all of this, but now Im kinda hungry for some fondu... Colin C Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cheat Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 Maybe it's just me, but did you make sure with both Robb and Elissa it was okay to post this? I mean, this is a personal conversation. Yes, Robb was all for it. Elissa on the other hand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheStig Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Elissa on the other hand... SHE WANTED HER FUDGEING FONDU!!! Colin C Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downunder Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 I don't even know what fondue is (have to look that up), but it must be good if Elissa would kill for it. She'll probably strap you into a Vekoma SLC and tell the ride ops to not let you off until your brain is a battered sludge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue0ctane Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 I'm going to guess that she meant chocolate fondue, which is where you put the chocolate into a pot, heat it up, and then dip assorted goods such as grapes, strawberries, small pieces of cake, marshmallows, and other chocolate-dipping-esque items in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollermonkey Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 "Safeway brand - Swiss Fondue." ^Hmm... Good question. I was thinking swiss cheese fondue, but yeah, swiss chocolate fondue works too. Mr. Cheat, which one is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharkTums Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Why are you guys asking him!!!?? It's my damn fondue!!! And it's Cheese Fondue! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekRx Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 How could you make Jarlsburg fondue and not invite me over?! I'm hurt, deeply, truly hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 She'll probably strap you into a Vekoma SLC and tell the ride ops to not let you off until your brain is a battered sludge. From which she can make fondue! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splash_Mountain Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Ha, Elissa! All the Calgary Safeway's (Yes, VONS and Safeway same stuff) have it! Excuse for you to come up here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollermonkey Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 You'd better put some in the mail and send it to Magic Mountain Parkway if you value your life! (Just kidding, she really is nice.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splash_Mountain Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 No, I think I will make her come up here if she wants cheese or chocolate or whatever that bad. Then she can come to Ghetto Bedrock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cheat Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 I'm gonna mail her two. But one of them will have a poison in it. And the other one will be normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbie Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Isnt fondue that nasty cheese stuff from the 70s? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbalvey Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 How could you make Jarlsburg fondue and not invite me over?! I'm hurt, deeply, truly hurt. She doesn't make that anymore. --Robb "Not part of the Elissa food rotation program since 2005." Alvey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekRx Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 ^Well then, good I'm glad I didn't waste my time flying across the country for non-Jarlsburg fondue! Robb, if you ever want that kind of fondue again, you know where to find me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cheat Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 Yeah so, I was gonna go get the fondue today. But I was tired and lazy and didnt feel like getting it when I got off work. Even though I would have had to walk like 20 feet. I think its pretty funny. Cause now she has to wait even longer. HA HA!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelizeIt Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 ^^^Wow this Vons/Safeway Fondue must give you two some type of Adrenalin Rush! I feel like impulsively cruising over to my local Vons for a fix! Robb, since you stated that the Jarlsburgh Fondue is out of Elissa's current "food rotation", what are the remaining "7 things" (that you mentioned) that actually make it onto the Elissa approved list. I'm sure most TPR regulars are aware of the need for McDonalds + Plain Pasta. ***By the way Elissa, since your restricted diet has come up many times on previous posts, it seems surprising for someone who has traveled so extensively around the globe (More than most people do in several lifetimes) that you would even have a limited palate. Did you have some type of traumatic experience while globetrotting with your parents? Years ago I became violently ill after consuming some bad Oysters, and I have never felt the need to go anywhere near them again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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