Aspergers and Me

[Movieguy]

Some of you may be wondering where I've been for a while. Maybe not, though, but it's nice to dream.

 

As some of you may recall from older posts, my Father died in 2006, very suddenly. About a year later, I started seeing a therapist that my mother was seeing, mainly for emotional issues related to the event, as it was affecting me at work. In the course of my treatment, she made discoveries about me, that led her to believe that I had Asperger's syndrome, a condition where someone is partially autistic, basically. A colleague of hers put me through a long examination to confirm her diagnosis.

 

Why am I telling you all this, you may wonder? I think it's to kind of explain why I can come off as rather odd around here sometimes, as I probably have in the past. People with my condition have to learn, intellectually, the social skills that come to other people naturally. And make no mistake, I am learning, bit by bit. Too many people with Aspergers, in my view, use their condition as a crutch, to excuse their odd behavior. I pledged not to become that kind of Aspie (Aspie is a term of endearment that my kind utilizes) a long time ago.

 

I've also been wondering if there are any others in this group who may be like me? If some want to keep this sort of information private, I can understand. I'm just curious, because I think it's because I have Aspergers that I've been able to obsess so much over roller coasters, despite the fact that I rarely ever get to ride them.

 

I'm not saying everyone here is an Aspie, of course, I just meant in my case.

[ebl]

My nephew is autistic, though we don't know if it's Aspergers. One thing that a lot of people still don't understand is that autistic people are not "retarded" or stupid by any means. In fact, many autistic people are highly intelligent, but because of the way autism presents itself, it doesn't always come across that way.

 

Eric

[Movieguy]

My nephew is autistic, though we don't know if it's Aspergers. One thing that a lot of people still don't understand is that autistic people are not "retarded" or stupid by any means. In fact, many autistic people are highly intelligent, but because of the way autism presents itself, it doesn't always come across that way.

 

Eric

 

That's very true. When I was younger, my parents and teachers all seemed to think I was fairly intelligent and capable. But, I was always struggling at school, and they could never figure out why. No one knew about Aspergers back then.

 

In retrospect, it's amazing I even made it through college, albeit with much difficulty.

[ebl]

I don't know much about autism/Aspergers, but from what I've read or been told, it's more or less a matter of some "connections" in the brain that aren't right. Once scientists and doctors learn how to fix or make those connections, we may well see a cure for this.

 

Eric

[Movieguy]

Well, I think the "cure" aspect is meant mainly for Autism. The difference between them is that people with Aspergers CAN learn to function on their own in society, whereas people with full-blown Autism constantly need help. I've already noticed an improvement in my social skills just from the past two years of occasional help I've received from my therapist. She tells me that Aspergers isn't really a disability. Just a "difference"

 

As a matter of fact, there has been some evidence to suggest that certain historical figures may have had Aspergers. This can never be fully proven of course, but the list includes people like Mozart, Thomas Jefferson, Beethoven, Thomas Edison, and Mark Twain.

[WillMontu]

Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) and the people (including myself) who have them are quite diverse. There is Aspergers', and various forms of autism, including "high" (with a lot of overlap with Aspergers) and "low" functioning (some with savant-like abilities). Some people are verbal and others are non-verbal (not able to communicate verbally)

Personally, I have had great difficulty with social skills and making friends, which is further complicated by an inability to recognize faces. There have been times when I've accidentally upset people due to misinterpreting or misunderstanding social cues or being misheard or misunderstood myself and I find that I am being frequently interrupted or even ignored in conversations.

 

Others on the spectrum may not have the same problems that I do, and/or may have difficulties that I do not experience. Some people are sensitive to flickering lights or being touched (no, I don't mean THAT kind of touching), and others are uncomfortable around large groups of people (e.g. supermarkets, theme parks)

[the ghost]

I may have some form of Aspergers. I have never been fully diagnosed, but I am really outgoing to people when I am in a group or when I am with close friends, but I am very anti social when being introduced to someone one on one cause I dont know where to start or where to end. I also have strange tendencies, like I always have small objects like rubber bans or various small toys, cause I like to fiddle with small objects. Of course, that might have something to do with ADD/ADHD, but its still semi embarrasing in public. It really doesnt matter though, my friend has it, and besides in certain social situations I would never know he has Aspergers. As long as its not used as a crutch 90% of people are totally unable to tell.

[Vekoma Fan Boy]

Well I'm glad to see I'm not alone here! I myself have a very mild case of Aspergers. Not enough to require any form of help, as my 13 year old step brother does, (He was diagnosed last year, and researching his condition is what led my parents to believe I have it) I do however have it bad enough to struggle somewhat socially. I have a great group of friends I am very close to, but outside of them I have trouble socializing, I don't know how to start any sort of interesting conversation or how exactly to tell if someone isn't interested when I am talking to them. I do not use my Aspergers as a crutch as I suspect my little brother does, (certain behaviors that are explained by Aspergers have been appearing more in him since he has learned he had the condition) mostly because I grew up not even knowing what it was. While I am at the age where one tends to "shed" most of the symptoms of Aspergers, (it never goes away, but in most cases it becomes much easier to manage around the age of entering high school) I still find myself somewhat socially awkward and quite embarrassed of how I used to conduct myself in the past. Oh well, what happened happened, you just have to keep taking life one step at a time.

[the ghost]

The main issue of what I've got, Aspergers or not, is that I am completely unable to really talk to girls. I know that is a common phobia, and I am fine hanging out with my friends girlfriend and stuff, but I have a LOT of trouble starting a conversation or asking out a girl, which is why I've had one girlfriend.

[Chris Benvenuto]

My autism was confirmed when I was about four years old and I've lived with it for 15 years of my life. To me, and the way it effects me is so minor it's more of a label to me then anything. Sure, I may get more time on tests and quizzes while at school but that's it really.

 

I'm the type of Aspie that's on the bare end of the Autistic spectrum, and I'll be on that fringe grip for the rest of my life. My autism was alot worse when I was younger, but I learned to bear with it and what people call me. (Retard mainly ).

 

But, yeah, I'm 19 now. You're just one of the pieces in the LARGE autism puzzle, don't worry we're with you and will support you if you ever need it.

[ebl]

Just reading this topic emphasizes what I said earlier in it---those of you with autism or Aspergers are indeed intelligent and NOT "retarded." All of your posts are very well written and you've shared some valuable information.

 

And I just learned today that my nephew got straight As in his high school classes.

 

Eric

[Movieguy]

Wow! It's great to see some more responses here, all of a sudden.

 

The main issue of what I've got, Aspergers or not, is that I am completely unable to really talk to girls. I know that is a common phobia, and I am fine hanging out with my friends girlfriend and stuff, but I have a LOT of trouble starting a conversation or asking out a girl, which is why I've had one girlfriend.

 

Hey, I know how you feel. I'm almost 30, and I've never even been on a date. Now if I had been given the help I've had now back then, that would have been a different story, because it's a little easier for me to talk to women now (No dates though, because most of the girls I work with are too young for me). But, what's done is done, and I just have to live with it.

 

Just don't pressure yourself too much. Like they say, just take it all one little bit at a time.

[Wes]

I may have some form of Aspergers. I have never been fully diagnosed, but I am really outgoing to people when I am in a group or when I am with close friends, but I am very anti social when being introduced to someone one on one cause I dont know where to start or where to end.

 

The main issue of what I've got, Aspergers or not, is that I am completely unable to really talk to girls. I know that is a common phobia, and I am fine hanging out with my friends girlfriend and stuff, but I have a LOT of trouble starting a conversation or asking out a girl, which is why I've had one girlfriend.

 

Um you just have social anxiety.

[cal1br3tto]

Honestly, I've heard more than once that if you think you have it, that means you probably don't.

[mcjaco]

This is not a knock on the main poster here, or those of you that have been diagnosed with ausbergers. But......

 

I struggled through school my entire life. It took me ten years to complete college. At age 18 my Mother decided to have me tested for learning disabilities. They diagnosed me with ADD. I was immediately put on medication (ritalin) to "help" with my disability. I stopped taking it shortly afterwards (as soon as I went away to school in the fall), as I felt the whole thing was complete BS. I struggled in school because I hated it, and didn't want to be there. Not because I couldn't focus. There were just many more things I was interested in than being at school.

 

I went to school off and on during the next ten years to get my degree. I did it as my interest in school was high, and I had time (and money) to do it.

 

My point, I think ausbergers is the new ADD/ADHD for diagnosis. I, for one, made myself learn how to deal with my ADD (whether it was real or not). In the long run, teaching myself how to stay focused on things I hated to do was good.

[the ghost]

^^^ No. Like I am terrible in socia situations. I tend to kind of ignore the other person or leave, and there are certain social situations which I do TERRIBLY in. If I am really nervous I will literally ignore the person talking to me, wether its my parents friends or not. I also have a LOT of trouble with eye contact, and it took me about 15 years to train myself to meet peoples eyes. I was introduced to ione of my dads friends last year, he introduced himself, I looked down and said hey, and left the room. Also, I many times have a lot of trouble keeping a converwsation, like I will just leave after a while, even if the conversation is still going on

[Wes]

^^^ No. Like I am terrible in socia situations. I tend to kind of ignore the other person or leave, and there are certain social situations which I do TERRIBLY in. If I am really nervous I will literally ignore the person talking to me, wether its my parents friends or not. I also have a LOT of trouble with eye contact, and it took me about 15 years to train myself to meet peoples eyes. I was introduced to ione of my dads friends last year, he introduced himself, I looked down and said hey, and left the room. Also, I many times have a lot of trouble keeping a converwsation, like I will just leave after a while, even if the conversation is still going on

 

Everything you listed is social anxiety, dude. Seriously, I have/had a lot of the same social "issues" you've mentioned. It's not Aspergers. It's social anxiety.

[piers]

^^^ No. Like I am terrible in socia situations. I tend to kind of ignore the other person or leave, and there are certain social situations which I do TERRIBLY in. If I am really nervous I will literally ignore the person talking to me, wether its my parents friends or not. I also have a LOT of trouble with eye contact, and it took me about 15 years to train myself to meet peoples eyes. I was introduced to ione of my dads friends last year, he introduced himself, I looked down and said hey, and left the room. Also, I many times have a lot of trouble keeping a converwsation, like I will just leave after a while, even if the conversation is still going on

 

It also sounds like you want it.

[Homer]

I'll have to agree with most everybody in here, I was diagnosed with "mild autism" or whatever (seriously, even the psych I saw didn't think it was Asperger's) back when I was 3 and stuck in the special ed classes for a few years in elementary school. I seriously think nowadays most of the people that have autism is just the work of lazy doctors and basically just a new label for those type of people to feel special and wear a ribbon about it.

 

Yeah, I have the quirks and the obsessions on odd things. But now I've learned how to "regulate" myself over the years. Maybe some days I'm flustered, but I don't use whatever syndrome as an excuse for everything.

 

Now I just say I have "quirks," so does everybody else. We all have quirks.

[cal1br3tto]

^I'm not sure how I feel about the diagnoses of these conditions, so I won't get into that.

 

But I personally like the term "differences". It's all-encompassing; it can include people who know they're outside what seems to be the norm, but don't fall into a diagnosable condition. I guess that's similar to "quirks" for you.

[larrygator]

Is anybody "normal"?

[Movieguy]

Well, while I can respect the opinions of Aspergers being the new ADD and whatnot, I believe it does exist. I never thought I had Aspergers before I was diagnosed, the thought never even occurred to me.

 

I DO agree that there's a lot of over-diagnosis, which hurts people like me who really DO have this difference. A lot of people are even self-diagnosing themselves with Aspergers, which is very dangerous and presumptuous. Even when my therapist made the initial diagnosis, she sent me to a colleague, a professional who works at Cornell. He put me through a long 5-6 hour examination, telling me that I indeed had a slight impairment in the right side of my brain, which affects me physically (I'm a little weaker than most men my age, muscle-wise) as well as psychologically, and concluded that my therapist's diagnosis was very astute.

 

Asperger's may be an easy thing for lazier doctors to fall back on, but it is by no means BS.

[mcjaco]

He put me through a long 5-6 hour examination, telling me that I indeed had a slight impairment in the right side of my brain, which affects me physically (I'm a little weaker than most men my age, muscle-wise) as well as psychologically, and concluded that my therapist's diagnosis was very astute.

 

Asperger's may be an easy thing for lazier doctors to fall back on, but it is by no means BS.

 

Everyone is weaker on one side of their body. That's why we develop to be right or left handed.

 

I didn't intend for me to say asperger's to be BS. Just as you said, I think it's over diagnosed.

[Movieguy]

Oh, OK then. I misunderstood.

 

I'm glad we both agree that it's over-diagnosed. People still tend to look at Aspergers in terms of it being a disability, which is why it's probably lumped in with stuff like ADD/ADHD so often.

 

There's a small movement of people who claim that it is NOT in fact a disability, and I am among them. People with this difference can learn to live with it, use it to their advantage, even, with the right guidance, and that guidance doesn't need to last too long. I hardly even see my therapist anymore, as a matter of fact. She's more of an occasional life coach now.

[DarkStitch626]

Years ago I was misdiagnosed with A.D.D. Sooner or later the doctors said I had Asperger syndrome but I have learned to live with it. I mostly have some issues picking up on social que's etc when people speak to me in certain tones and ways. I admit I have it but its more something you can't tell with me besides me being hyper.