Jds03 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 So, yesterday was President's day, which meant there was no school and I had the day to do whatever I wanted, which usually means doing cartoons for hours at a time. However because I had just had a long weekend before, I was sort of tired of drawing and wanted some time to fool around. So usually what I do when I’m feeling this way is go to a park, like most of the people on this site would do, but unfortunately this time of year is a special time when kittens die of hypothermia and emo teenagers cut themselves from the overwhelming sadness that is the “off season”. But suddenly I realized the single greatest place on earth, besides theme parks: IKEA! They have endless displays of funky looking furniture with funny names, fake plastic electronics, awesome cheep food and pure awesomeness. So we left for IKEA just because it is awesome and is the second best thing aside from theme parks. We had no intention of buying anything and weren’t even going to remotely conceder purchasing any of the furniture, just some amassing food and maybe some sort of cheep Sweetish cooking utensil or whatever. By the way, I’m not making this up. And so I decided as if the Costco topic wasn’t enough pointlessness, I might as well post a massive trip report about an even bigger store, that’s also totally awesome and has way more than giant containers of mayonnaise. So until I can make pointless trip reports about theme parks, I bring you the next best thing. CHILD ON A LEASH!!!! CHILD ON A LEASH!!!! Owen has a tiny head. A full 10 inches smaller than fathead. They also give you free measuring tape. We measured the circumference of our heads! My brother is a fathead with 32 inches. The pencils are also quite tasty. I LOVE IKEA!!!! You get free golf pencils too. But not all of them, some have working PS2's! This place is AWESOME!!!! The computers are made out of plastic. You can play catch with them! Titta! Tee-Hee!!!! I like big yellow bags. Yay, more couches! Gosa Syren. That's how I roll. Yeah, You get to jump on the king sized sofas and take your shoes off. It's sofa king awesome! Oh yeah, and this is his friend, Owen. He's also quite punk. This is my brother, Ben. He's a certified Gangsta. Note the two DC flat top hats. That's a double dosage of punk, yo! Big couch that is almost a bed. I want it. The fun never ends. I could just cry with happiness right now. Rib night!?! How much better can it get! Here is the mighty entrance. Feel its power! Here's the parking underneath. it has enough room to host 3 auto shows at once! Here it is, in all its glory and massiveness. The world's best store! IKEA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jds03 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 But wait! Theres more! Much more! I even have to videos you'll find relevance to later in the story! Doin' it pony style! I'd prefer wild pony, thank you. Yowza! POV_Hajdeby.wmv Please note that this POV was taken by an experienced professional with permission from ride operators and IKEA management. For yours and others safety, please do not attempt to take photos or videos at parks without proper permission. Hajdeby! It was a great ride. We rode it several times. I've even included a POV for you up top! This was one of the best parts of the whole store! Yay! Time to play toss the plastic computer screen! (again!) We found a rather interesting magazine on the table... no comment. NAKED PEOPLE ART!!!! The kids in the catalogue seem extra exited, especially when cooking bacon by themselves. "I never want to leave IKEA" Public display of affection? Here you can! Except their all in Swedish! Every single one! The bookshelves are completely stocked. You can even take the books and sit on a comfy couch and read it all day. Yay! More plastic electronics! This is what being a punk can lead to. You can even commit assalt and get away with it. You can hide in closets and scare the living doo-doo out of people you don't know! No, IKEA is everyone’s home! Chair thing.wmv You can hear my brother contemplating its meaning. This is some chair torture device thing. You can see it in action up top! Hello everyone! Snazy New York Apartment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jds03 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 You have no idea how much more there's going to be. Stop reading now, before it's too late! Mer! Sugar overdose. It's an automatic coffee sweetener thing. This thing was awesome! Sweedish balls. Mmmmmmmmm..... Art Deco light thing... Oh yeah! It's time to eat amazing food for really low prices! There's something in this egg... We found the cylindrical shaped rodent! (BTW, my brother had an obession with these inflatable things, and I don't even want to get into it right now.) Weee! I'm pretending to be a rodent! This allows children with short attention spans to get around quicker! Some cylindrical shaped rodent plowed through here. Whoever lives here has a triped out crib! Yay! Kids IKEA! More funky names. Oh yeah, hello! Do I realy need a comment here? What about "for our legal safety" If I lived in a bunk bed at IKEA I would be sooooooooo happy. Oooh yeah! Put the firm to the max! "Having this much fun is exhausting" This is my bed fame here... There are monsters under my bed! And there are dead bodies too… This sign is irrelevant. IKEA is one giant play area. Shweet! This is what I draw my cartoons on! Well, not this exact one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kennyweird Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharkTums Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I would have alerted security and had you guys kicked out. There's having a good time at Ikea, and there's being annoying. You MUST respect Ikea, and it will respect you back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
packfanlv Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 ^I was thinking the same thing. How did you not get kicked out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 One thing I found funny is how the sign welcomes you to IKEA in both English and Spanish---and then there's no more Spanish on any signs! But, like a couple of others, I'm surprised no one showed you guys the exit... Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerd.muller Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 American IKEA-restaurant serve ribs???!!!! AMAZING!!! Here in Germany they only serve swedish stuff like "Köttbullar" and "Looxs".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeemerBoy Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 It's too bad Ikea doesn't offer haircuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RCoasterny Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 It's too bad Ikea doesn't offer haircuts. Or better yet, lobotomies for those twits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyoverlord71 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 In our Ikeas there are slides in the kids bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jds03 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 But, like a couple of others, I'm surprised no one showed you guys the exit... haha, just to clarify for every one though, we were not actually as obnoxious as it looks, most of it was just posing or things my brother and his friend wanted photographed. We did not actually throw any of the fake electronics or really jump on couches, most of this was exaggerated for humor value, although we did spin on the office chairs…. But the staff was actually ok with that, since it probably happens hundreds of times a day. In all seriousness though, I love and respect IKEA. We weren’t really breaking any rules, and if the staff had told us anything I would have made sure to follow it. Just take this with a grain of salt, and if not, post it in the “dumbest things ever said on TPR” thread, because that would make my day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gotdane Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Menefee Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 As my girlfriend always reminds me..... "Getting a vasectomy really isn't that bad of an option Sean." Also, the video above is an epic win for everything good about Ikea. Dane is now the official defeater of threads gone bad. -Sean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 This TR has made me realise how much Ikea stuff I have!! This TR featured my bed covers, my wardrobe, my computer chair, my parents computer chair, my sister's bed covers and bed. I think I need ikea therapy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paintballer Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 *Facepalm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davethefish Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I went to an Ikea last night (yay meatballs) and I thought about this thread, I think that's kinda sad, don't you? Although after reading the first monster post, My Ikea pails in insignificance to the ones you have in America! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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