Eunuch Provocateur

It's still boggles my mind to see new paint on the roller coasters at Magic Mountain. I haven't been since 2005, and it all just seems so different. I'm gonna have to get there soon to see this. Or later and see it all.

It may, anything to bring back the scares. Seriously.

Well f**k. I haven't posted on here in awhile, but what happened last night was enough to gird me into posting. Halloween Haunt has never seemed this ghetto, has never seemed so helplessly used and tired. The mazes that we went into were visibly aged, and there was just not enough talent. But maybe there was... I couldn't get a good read on this because they weren't breaking maze lines at all. You just get shuffled into the maze, walking past the seemingly needless personnel at the entrance. When I asked a black-shirt worker about this, he just said, "Management told us not to." This made me wonder the judgment of "management." You'd think that, after running this event for 30+ years, they'd know that pushing people in droves through mazes, then getting them logjammed in certain sections more than once, is not the way to put on a thrilling event. The logjamming and the traffic in the mazes was irritating because you'd get stuck in a "scary" room with intestines hanging down from the ceiling, and you'd look at the props, and then you begin to realize that it's not that scary afterall because they're prosthetics that're cheap and old and unkempt. We didn't go in all of the mazes because, for a Wednesday, it was packed to the brim, and my friends wanted to ride at least something before the night's end. Which we did. Then we did Beowulf at about 12:35 which included some the rudest characters, including one who, for seemingly no reason, shouted out, "What the f**k did you say?" and Monsters announcing that they're going on break. It was very frustrating. Nothing seemed to be well-done while all the mazes and scare zones we hit were understaffed and overcrowded. If you're not going to break the lines, then add more monsters to the mazes at least, that can jump out at you after you've been standing in the living room of 13 Axe Manor for a minute or more. But there was, at least, Pyromaniax, the log-ride, that we waited for which was actually decent, but still nothing compared to what my memory dictates was a very fun and scary experience in previous years. And the Hanging had its moments. We didn't see any of the other shows, though, because we were so pressed for time what with the lines outside for tickets (why the hell do you need to check every 5 and 10 dollar bill going in?) and my friend and I coming from seeing Control (that indie Joy Division movie) the only chance we had. It was fun, but it was definitely very drab and lackluster and ghetto. I know that this is very negative, but I can't really find any specific bright spot on the night aside from Pyromaniax. Knotts, for Christ's sake, please fix your event.

The Flashpass queue was skinnier, and didn't have any switchbacks... They sometimes would use it for the first few trains of the day before it got all hot and bothered with 4 hour lines.

Looks like Mr. Freeze is ragging. Someone get the governator some sanitary napkins.

See below... stupid internet.

Whoops.

I'm not a Giants fan (antithesis--Dodgers fan for life) but I did read an article about Tim Lincecum, that 5' 10" fireballer, and I must say, if that good is the future of the Giants pitching staff, then the Dodgers have another thing coming once Barroids gets the hell outta Dodge. Dodgers got routed by the Cards today... The routed the Marlins, for those who care.

Wow... just...wow. In all my days, I never expected SFMM to actually REMOVE a roller coaster, much less TWO. I think that's my shocked reaction came with at least two expletives. I've completely forgotten about roller coasters up until this point, and, I must say, a lot just came flooding back (nostalgia et al.) when I saw the naked ground of Psyclone's footprint.

For a guy that never got elected, what a fanfare he received.

"Happy New Year! We need to listen to mewithoutYou!" I was really plastered.

1. INLAND EMPIRE (Oh, David Lynch...) 2. Little Miss Sunshine 3. The De-pah-ted. 4. Borat 5. The Fountain 6. This Film is not yet Rated And the shit definitely outweighs the good.

Holy shit. Elissa's pregnant. Where have I been?!

It will be sold. There will be no victims.

From the pictures on RCDB, it looks kind of like a Permanent Fair. Though I was happy that it wasn't seven kiddie coasters.

There's only two ways that porn got there: Wes' bag he had in Target, or Elissa's Not So Secret Stash. The Darts? God knows.

The Felipe's. That's about as good as it gets for Rancho Cucamonga: The city in the Dr. Pepper commercial. It's not 23 degrees, god**mmit! L.A. The next best city, 40 miles away. With the Hall of Shame in the foreground. (1 for 14. Go Dodgers!)

Are these mountain coasters considered a credit?

This whole thing reminds of that scene from the Sandlot where they're on the ride... and puking all over...

Was Paperboy even a gameboy game?

With this type of report, I say F**k it! Build some houses! What's the point of decent roller coasters if the place they're at sucks!

I got a job at Vons! Woohoo! Minimum wage, pushing carts in 100 degree heat. I'm all for it, for now. edit: This post will probably be deleted once I actually begin to hate my job.

Oh Hell's Bells. It's just a theme park. F**k it, sell it, and build something new. Though I wouldn't mind riding Tatsu just once.

^The whole six days thing sounds very... Jewish. I guess the whole five car module was the only way to reduce weight. Maybe use a different type of metal (Rearden Metal! [anyone?]). It seems like the other way they've tried to get it to not valley is by having a longer downhill slope after the raven turn and then proceeding to have no HUGE elements like X's high-up mid-section.