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Leiderhosen, Udders, Chickens, and Exlposions--A Wee Look at Illuminights 2012 BGW kicked off Illuminights, its summer "encore" last week, with one major change--a new show in Oktoberfest. Yes, with Entwined (the new Feshaus show), Mach Tower, and (of course) Verbolten, the remaking of Oktoberfest is now complete. Last year, the park gave us acrobatic waiters and can-can dancers in France, giant puppets and a "leprechaun" in Ireland, more acrobats in Italy, and the "world's largest living cuckoo clock" in Germany. Well, there's no giant cuckoo bird in front of the Festhaus this year, but there are giant chickens, cavorting farmhands in leiderhosen, and cows in Octoberfest--all as a part of their new mini-show, "Wunderbarn." (Great--more bastardized German to annoy our European friends. ). Essentially, the show is about a "Bavarian" farmer named Heinrich (or "Hiney," as his wife calls him) and his dancing crew of milkmaids and farmhands. I kind of miss the cuckoo clock, myself. But for all those who miss the old "This Is Oktoberfest" show, someone does blow a giant horn and, of course, people do the Chicken Dance (nearly as well as Elissa on the Klassy TPR Cruise, too). The park blows stuff up starting at 9:30 each evening, much to the chagrin of the rich retired folks in Kingsmill (but for the pleasure of everyone else). Illiuminights runs through August 18, so all you on the New Hotness Trip and at East Coast Bash will be able to check it out for yourselves. Here's a look at Wunderbarn--and some explosions. [coastertube]http://www.themeparkreview.com/coastertube/play.php?vid=BGW_Wunderbarn_079_eay5[/coastertube] Some of you may want some Chicken Dance ERT. Yes, Illuminights! Just as I had foreseen! The big balloon out front shoulda told ya. Yes, Italy is already looking a bit "illuminated." Noted! Yay! Verbolten is running well today (July 4, 2012). The wait was about an hour, but I had an exit pass from a past breakdown. In a shocking turn of events, Mach Tower was not running--but you can sit in the test seat and kick your feet up to simulate a freefall. Here are the times for Wunderbarn, so you can schedule your day at ECB accordingly. I rather miss the big cuckoo clock, but I know quite a few people who prefer an unadorned Festhaus. A cow--as I had promised you! This is for all the udder fans out there . . . . . . and you know who you are. "Would you quit looking at my udder please? Thank you so much." You get it? This is a coop for a chicken named "Eggbert"! And chickens lay eggs! So, it's funny . . . wait, Eggbert is a masculine name. Roosters don't lay eggs. This joke now officially sucks eggs! Meet Heinrich and his wife (whose name escapes me). They run Black Forest Farms and enjoy cavorting about in velour leiderhosen. OK, the woman in Bavarian drag looks a bit constipated. Too much bratwurst, perhaps? See Heinrich blow. Blow, Heinrich, blow! In the front is Heinrich, Jr., or "Little Hiney." I recall hearing a Verbolten-inspired "fahrt" joke, too. Milkmaids and farmhands! Prepare to cavort! Wait for it . . . Commence cavorting! "Oh, I do hope this cavorting builds up to a full frolic!" And, eventually, they get to the Chicken Dance. That's Wunderbarn. Darkness begins to fall, and the park really starts to fill up for the grand finale of the evening. Here's why Verbolten has to shutdown--they shoot the fireworks from the trestle. Back in Italy . . . . . . waiting for the sky to explode. Uh oh! Someone get Dollywood's lawyers on the phone! While you wait for the fireworks, Glow is open for your shopping pleasure. Look at all that Klassy merchandise. And the Klingon Empire opens fire. Busch retaliates with photon torpedoes. Aghh! We're hit! Warp core breach! All hands abandon ship! And that's all for now--thanks for reading.

Frankly, I like the current Big Thunder Mountain rides just the way they are, as do many other Disney guests--there's no need to change them so radically. But I like the idea of Disney having a "unique" ride like Runaway Mine Cars (which is really hybrid of Everest and Big Thunder) at HKD.

I retract my previous suggestion of the name "Frank" in favor of this one.

"This is dull. There are no forces, neither positive nor negative." Apparently, that was their opinion. I suggest you just move on.

^^Yes, you're entitled to your opinion--as are those who were on the TPR trip and didn't care of OzIris.

This is a bit of a blanket statement--it all depends on the child's condition. Here's another example of a "not quite obvious" handicap: A friend of mine is a diabetic and has suffered serious nerve damage in her legs. So, while she can walk around the house and do normal chores (such as cooking), she can't really walk long distances or tolerate standing in a line for a long period. But this wouldn't be obvious to those who don't understand her condition.

Comedies can have explosions.

^I'm just going to call it "Frank." A coaster element by any other name . . . it looks potentially amazing.

^That's good to hear. I actually endured Drayton's ride twice because someone in our little subgroup that day actually liked it and wanted to ride again.

^I agree--the water maze looks like the fun, but the zipline, not so much.

This, in particular, amazes me. I imagine a "Hit Yourself on the Head with a Hammer" attraction would attract a similar line at Parc Asterix. That being said, I like this park quite a bit (particularly Zeus, the Madhouse, the dark ride, and the flume).

I have to admit that I'm a little apprehensive about these X Coasters. But the steak picture makes me feel better.

^Excellent video--the best one I've seen of this ride (loved David/Spears ride and all the other angles). It's cool when it syncs up with Superman.

Yes--much bad mojo!

Then they realize the fault of closing the coasters. Seems to me that if the amusement park section had done more to draw guests, it would still be in operation.

^The better you maintain the trains, the easier it is to sell them (or send them to another park in the chain).

That's the only feature that makes it stand out, though; otherwise, it's a pretty standard family coaster (not bad, just not all that interesting).

^Micke Grove? Good god, the last time I was there they didn't even have a coaster credit (that was in the 1960s).

I had no idea Elissa was the "Official Tall Ship of Texas"--a high honor, indeed.

Looks like Sylvester's been doing a little lobster fishing.

I think Phoenix is right up there with Balder and El Toro. Just goes to show you that a very "old school" ride can still be amazing. I'm a fan of their Haunted House, too. And their Skooters. And their food. Hell, just about everything at Knoebels.

It looks like a "first generation" water coaster. The extra water spouts look like something from the 19th century.

There are some hotels near Kings Dominion--A Best Western in the park parking lot, and three across the street (Country Inn and Suites, La Quinta, and Days Inn). It's definitely worth it.

Backstage tours at BGW are very interesting (done them twice, myself). I can't speak for what Robb and Elissa have planned for ECB, of course, but I think you'll find the tours well worth doing.

^The hordes of zombies running around the park were great, too--much more effective than Universal's scarezones.