smells_like_team_disney Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 A friend sent this to me and I thought it was the funniest thing (well, at the time anyway ). Just thought I'd share this with all of you. Enjoy! 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In." 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to expresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds." 7. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy." 8 Don't use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go." 12. Sing along at the Opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poem doesn't rhyme. 14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom. 17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won, I won!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 20. (Lame :? ) Send this to.... blah, blah, blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hattuchili Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 LMAO, can I have a diet water? However, very funny. Thanks for posting. --Sören Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Token Yankee Guy Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 21) While operating drive thru, talk to the bumper of a car waiting in line and ask them if they want any coffee? Craiggers "i've done that on many occasions" K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissie Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 Looooooooooool!! Those r good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 OMG, classic. I love the one about paging yourself over the intercom and not disguising your voice... Genius. Louise - "in accordance with the prophecy" - R. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandaman Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 22. Drop a four-square ball (kickball, I guess) off of a highway overpass 23. Go into church dressed as the Devil (friend suggested this, go figure...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonOfBeastSucks Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbell Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 (edited) Haha those are great. Edited January 17, 2011 by tinkerbell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USRoadTripper Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds." I tried this with "For erotic massage" one time, and the person said they were so embarassed, they almost didn't cash the check! But they did anyway! -Julie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgathriller Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 I've gone over the intercom at school and started making farting noises with my new fart machine in the 8th grade when I was office courtesy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4718 Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 Most of those were from a list on a site I've been to a long time ago, they've got TONS of hilarious "How to annoy" pages, check them out here! And, while it may be a bit immature, I just can't help but like the ones on this page: http://www.pressanykey.com/cgi-bin/annoy.cgi?target=restroom . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandaman Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 That's not immature, that's genius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry_Gumball Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 That's hilarious. I should consider "How to annoy other drivers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twister II Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won, I won!" Done that, many, many times. 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" We did this once in Bosie, Idaho, we actually made a little kid cry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4718 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 That's not immature, that's genius True, I think the word I was looking for was crude though, but I just can't get over the cantalope one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathmole Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won, I won!" Good idea, I cant wait to try it 26: Play dress up - I played a Vampire:The Masquarade live action game at Lazerquest Huddersfield last year, I went in my character's guise: Union Jack boxershort's, an orange bathrobe, a PVC mask made to look like someone's torn of face (a'la Lisa Trevor, Resident Evil) whilst dragging a teddy bear along in a dog leash. Victory to the Malkavian's! (No I dont have a picture of it, and if I did I would'nt show it, you don't want to see me in underwear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvalbinos Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 - start running around laughing and screaming and yell out " The monkey king and mushroom queen have gotten married and their plotting to kill me" warning - you would be wise not to repeat this statement in/at - classrooms, police departments, workplaces, banks, churchs, restraunts, movie theatres, grocery stores, starbucks, and family gatherings. Doing so has been proven to result in beatings, violent outbursts of rage, excommunication, banishment, sufficient lack of caffeine, and or jail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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