XII

I've ridden the slingshot @ SFMM several times. It's fun, but I would not pay the really high price they charge for it.

Already visited: Six Flags Magic Mountain Knotts Berry Farm Lagoon Adventuredome Will visit later Disneyland Resort Scandia Castles'N'Coasters Six Flags Fiesta Texas Sea World San Antonio Schlitterbahn Gavelston Pier Kemah Boardwalk Six Flags Over Texas Silver Dollar City Frontier City Wonderland Cliffs Elitch Gardens Lakeside Park Possibly Six Flags Discovory Kingdom California's Great America Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk Gilroy Gardens Sea World San Diego Belmont Park Castle Park Western Playland

Albuquerque - Weird Al Yankovic

All right. Moving on with the trip. The next park on the trip that we decided to hit up was very interesting in the fact that its barely a theme park and has more in common with my local playground than a place like Disneyland. This park I'm talking about of course is Schlossbeck. The only reason this park gets mentioned on sites like RCDB is because of the kiddy coaster they have. But trust me, thats the most boring thing in the park. The real insanity of the park are the do itself attractions such as the boat jumping, the do itself zipline, the Luna Loop, and of course, all the crazy playground attractions that will sadly never be found in America. It makes me wonder how many small crazy parks like this exist throughout Europe but never get talked about on coaster sites since they lack a kiddy coaster like this one. Anyways, onto the photos. Another day on the trip, another park to visit. Today, we're starting out our morning at Schlossbeck. Schlossbeck is a very bizzare park in the sense that its far more of a playground than an actual theme park. I'm riding off on the horse to my happy ending, oh wait, I'm on a TPR Trip. My happy ending is already here. All right. Time for us to get the only credit there is to get in this park. With the fact that they only have this little Tivoli as their only coaster, you'd think that this place was nothing more than just a credit whoring stop. Trust me, this is the most boring thing here. We're just getting the credit out of the way so we can get to all the good stuff. Now that we've got the credit out of the way, we can focus on the real star attraction of the park. Boat Jumping. What is Boat Jumping, you may be asking? Well, first you get pulled up this spike backwards like a Boomerang... Then you drop all the way down and fly off the track. And SPLASH!!!!! Land straight into the water. Among the other bat-sh*t insane things they have here, they have a Vertical Slide. I really want to see these things popping up at more playgrounds. Make sure you don't run out of room and slide onto the main path. Continuing the tradtion of crazy bizzare rides at Schlossbeck, we tried out this ride they call the Luna Loop. You just get inside, go around on a track that just goes in a circle while you control the flipping. New at Schlossbeck were these Wet'N'Dry Slides. They weren't that crazy, but they were a lot of fun. Now this self operated Zipline on the other hand, yeah. Its pretty crazy. "Look at me darling!!! I'm on the Zipline!!!" This haunted house wasan't that scary, though it was certainly...intersting. Now if you want to see interesting, check out these nursery animals. Dude, this place is incredible. Why can't any of our parks in Ventura be more like Schlossbeck? "I really don't like how fast we're spinning right now. I feel like something is gonna happen soon." DAN IS DOWN!!!!! I REPEAT!!!! DAN IS DOWN!!!!!!! "THIS THING IS EVIL!!!! I HATE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!!!!" Yeah, I think another ride on the Boat Jump is in order. Umm, guys....I think we're breaking the rules here. Yeah. Boat Jumping is freaking awesome. "Exactly how long do I have here before I drop?" "OH SH*T!!!!!!" Why am I not surprised Cliff. Thanks for reading leave any comments you have, and Movie Park Germany Photos will be up soon.

All right. Moving onto the next park of the trip. After all the awesomeness of Europa Park and the fun and quirkiness of Fort Fun (Thanks for putting that on the TPR Front Page BTW), it was time to move onto the next park, Heide Park. While not quite as good as Europa Park, Heide Park was still a fantastic park with a great balance of things to do. It has great coasters with an Intamin Woody, a B&M Dive Machine, and an Intamin Launcher, great rides, and great theming. If any of you are in the area of Northern Germany, I highly suggest you go and check out Heide Park as it really is a great park that you all should visit at some point in your lives. All right. We have arrived at the very awesome Hotel Port Royal for the night. No seriously. This place is so well themed that the toilets are well themed. Check out the awesome view from our hotel room. Why yes. I would like to start out the morning on Heide Park's newest coaster, Krake. Krake is one of the new B&M Dive Machines. Yeah. This isn't quite as good as Sheikra. But its still a really fun ride and a great fit for Heide Park. Our Morning ERT continued on Desert Race. Desert Race was a very interesting ride. It was fun and had a lot of twisty bits, but there was just something that felt missing, but I don't quite know what. But hey, its still a really fun ride. Yeah. Lets just get this out of the way. Hey, you knew that we were gonna ride this sooner or later. While it wasn't one of the worst SLCs ever, it certainly wasn't one of the best either. Well since the bobsled isn't on the the parks Flash Pass system, we decided to get that credit out of the way. Hey, these Mack Bobsleds are really fun rides. Hey, this bobsled was better than the one at Europa Park. Have to head on back to the hotel to grab something quickly. (Yeah. Thats our hotel. Nice, isn't it.) "Grr. Captain Jack Sparrow wants his beer and he wants it now!!!!" Ahh crap. Look at that line. Luckily, we don't have to wait that thanks to fast pass. Yeah. Its good. Really good. All right. Time for us to get yet another credit. We were REALLY lucky to have fastpass for this ride since it not only had a long line, but was only running one train. And hey, it was running well. Smooth as glass. What is it with all these European Parks having great powered coasters? I see Cliff is going through withdrawls again. We better stop for more beer. "Hey, it may be wheat beer, but it has alcohol, which is good enough for me." That kiddy coaster is only 100% politically correct. Hey, the park actually has a really well themed Wild West Area. All right. Who's the dumbass who thought it'd be a good idea to ride the log ride in this weather? Where am I again? Any time I can get a good Doner Kebab, I'm happy. Those are the toilets? I think I'll just hold it in. Like most of these European Parks, Heide Park looks REALLY nice!!! Ooh. Lets all slide down this twisted mess of slides. Yeah. We're gonna race. Slide in 3...2...1!!!!! Those rollers hurt my ass SO BAD!!!!!!!! Anyone else wanna take another ride on Krake? I'm really glad that more B&M Dive Machines are being built as these really are fun rides. Yes. The splash really is that high and you just might get wet. The Krake Maze wasn't that scary. Come on guys!!! Dude, their drop tower Scream kicks ass. Random slide in the middle of the park that we found. Hmm, looks like all the people from earlier cleared out. (Hmm, now you notice just how strange the Collosus line is in how its built on a slope.) I spy ejector air. All right. We're getting into Flat Ride land. They have a Top Spin, an Enterprise, a Round Up... And this very bizarre flat ride that was a lot of fun. Yes, I would like to slide down more of these twisted mess of slides. Basic obstacles to get to the slide. Warning. Your ass will catch on fire going down these slides. Why can't any of our local playgrounds have slides like this? Dude, there are so many shots to get up here. All that ejector air looks so beautiful. Now you should really get an idea of just how big Krake's splash is. Even the Big Loop shots are beautiful up here. "Is it me being drunk, or are these things completely pointless?" Anyone else wanna take a ride on the Kanalfahrt. Hey, this stupid boat ride takes us inside the Grottenblitz building. I'm really glad to see Heide Park really taking advantage of all that they've got. And now we have Colossus ERT!!!!! It's not quite as good as El Toro, but this is still one of the best wooden coasters ever!!! I mean, just look at that airtime!!!! Towards the end of our ERT, the sky just opened up and it began to pour down on us. I got soaked and I loved it. Definetly one of the craziest ERT sessions I've ever experienced. Yeah, you can see all the rain in this picture. And after our insane Colosus in the rain ERT, we went back to the hotel, warmed up, took a shower, and went down for a great dinner the hotel provided for us. Whatever you've been drinking, thats where you pee. Funny thing is that I saw a urinal for cocktails, whisky, brandy, coke, wine, wasser, water, but there's no urinal for beer!!! Which means we're all screwed. Thanks for reading leave any comments you have, and Schlossbeck Photos will be up soon.

A quick note to people living with me. Don't throw away anything of mine without asking me if I still want it first. Cause what you may see as trash may very well still have value to me. Well, at least I can replace this stuff thanks to online shopping.

SLC Coffee or Tea?

I know you get eaten by a shark on the Alpine Slide at Australian Magic Mountain

Let's Spend the Night Together - The Rolling Stones

All right. Time for the next park on the trip. After all the amazingness of going to Europa Park, you'd think that nothing would be able to top that. And you're absolutely right. Europa Park was the highlight of the trip. But we were still off to a great park. Fort Fun. This isn't a park that gets talked about often since its only got three roller coasters and none of them are that good. But trust me. Coasters are the last thing on your mind at this park. There's the alpine coaster thats absolutely insane and if you ride with no brakes, is a ton of fun. There's the zipline that gives you a great view of the German Mountains, and there's a ton of fun stuff including crazy slides, fun fun houses, and of course, the BBQ they hosted for us was just fantastic. I'd really make sure you check out when you're in Germany cause it really is a great park. Anyways, onto the photos. After our Lights on Euro Sat ERT this morning, we had a very long bus drive. And yeah, I'm having a very healthy lunch of PrinGOALS!!!!!!!! Ooh. Driving through a cute little German town. Are we really going to a theme park today? Yeah. Todays park is this screwed up little park called Fort Fun. All right. First up, lets get our Vekoma Roller Skater credit while we're here. Whoops. It appears we entered the Fun House by mistake. Nope. Turns out that Devils Mine has the COOLEST LINE EVER!!!! Yes, that includes Dueling Dragons line. This is better. Dude, that line was better than an actual roller skater. WHOA!!! Look at the custom layout!!!! In the back seat, theres actually some ejector air on this Roller Skater. After the insane first drop, its mostly just helixes. Still by far the best Vekoma Roller Skater I've ridden. All right. Lets go check out their fun house. Is there a roller skater at the end of this fun house as well? Going crazy in the Crazy Washhouse!!!! All right. Lets see just how scary their horror house is. This isn't scary. Go see my friends who work at Fright Fest and come back to me. I have no idea what this is. Lets find out and see if its cool. DUDE!!!! IT'S AN INDOOR ROUND UP!!! THATS SO BADASS!!!!! These things were designed for people of my size. Ooh!!! More insane Slides of Death!!!! Must check out!!!! No, we are not being immature right now. These were designed for us. "Tell my mom that I love her." Yep, this slide was super fast and I flew off at the bottom. Hey, anyone in the mood to get wet? It was a really good log flume. The first drop was underground so there was an entire underground section, and it was just fun. Dude!!! A park that has Magnum!!! Awesome!!!! It ran a good program and is themed to Native Americans!!! Hmm, do I want to take the stairs down or slide on down to the lower level? Gee, such a hard decision. Hey Patrick!!! Its your favorite ride!!!! =D Ok, lets just get the Tivoli credit out of the way since its the only coaster not on our ERT schedule. Hey, just be glad that this is the smallest coaster in the park. You know these Tivoli coasters are just a ton of fun. THROUGH THE TREES!!!!!! Watch your head. The operator was awesome, sending us around over and over and always giving us high fives. All right. This is the last coaster we need here. Ugh. Its a Vekoma Corkscrew. You know I've never ridden the Whirlwind model before and I've loved everything in the park so far. Maybe this'll be a fun ride. HOLY CRAP!!! THIS RIDE IS HORRIBLE AND ROUGH AS HELL!!!!! You're gonna need some rope to get up to the top of the hill. Our ERT has begun, and first up, we'll be hitting up the parks Zipline. Wild Eagle. Lets get suited up for this thing. This thing is PRETTY high up. Better not have a fear of heights. While its not really scary, its very fast and very fun, giving you a great view of these German Mountains. And now, we get to the parks star attraction. The Alpine Coaster. I'd never been on an Alpine Coaster, so this was a really exciting treat for me, especially after hearing that it is one of the better ones. "THIS IS F*CKING AWESOME!!!!!!" Hope you like lifthills, cause this ones 3.5 minutes long. Its a long way down. Lets make this fun. Hey guys!!! Hows it going!!? Yeah. When you ride without any brakes, this thing is totally INSANE!!!!! (As seen by this blurry photo). I'm gonna stay here for the rest of ERT. ERT may be over, but now we get our Group Meal. You'd think that you wouldn't be able to top ERT on an insane brakeless Alpine Coaster, but nope. Fort Fun topped it with our meal. Now normally they just give you food, but not here. They let us cook our own food. Not only did they let us BBQ an unlimited amount of meat, but they also gave us unlimited beer and sodas. Yeah. It was insane. Yes, I'd really like the juice from my cock on my meat please. Raise your hand if you're a vegetarian!!! Ugh, all this happiness just makes me want to kill myself. Would you like your meat well done or burnt to a crisp? We have thrills, meat, women, and beer. The only thing missing from this Male Fantasy was violence. So we fixed that and hung Colin. Is that part of the meat you're giving us Fort Fun? After our amazing day at Fort Fun, we just had to get stuck behind the Ass-Man's truck. Thanks for reading. Heide Park will be next and please leave any comments you have.

Yes Do you like the Intamin 1st Generation Freefalls?

Looks like a fun family coaster. Hope it rides as good as it looks.

Even more Europa Park photos cause you can't get enough of this awesome awesome park. Hey guys, look really closely at this photo!!! Look what I got!!! "Why no, officers. We're John Deere Enthusiasts. That's all." (If you weren't there, you don't get this joke). Here you can see Europa Park's newest hotel, the Bell Rock Hotel which literally opened up just DAYS after our visit. Ooh!!! The backside of water!!! Ooh. Nice shot of Atlantica Supersplash from one of Europa Park's other hotels. Someone give me a bag of marshmellows please!!! Don't go off and lose the puck guys!!!! Europa Park deserted at night. "Thanks for using the flash and blinding me you jackass. You ruined my crappy dancing." "For the millionth time Officer!!! I'm innocent!!! I'm just a John Deere Enthusiast!!! Let me out of this prison cell!!!" Europa Park at sunset. So beautiful. All right. Fast foreword to the next morning, we're taking the Monorail for we have a special treat for us at Europa Park before we go. ERT ON EUROSAT WITH THE LIGHTS ON!!!!!!!! Euro Sat is very interesting. Imagine Space Mountain, if it had a long snake train, had a spiral lifthill, was super fast and twisted everywhere, provided lots of laterals, and blasted techno music. LIGHT SPEED!!!! And a group of us decided to sneak in one last party ride on Euro-Mir before we head on back to the bus so we can drive to our next park.

All right. Getting back to doing these updates for this Photo TR since I still want to reach my deadline of finishing this before a year passes between the trip and I'm running out of time, so I better keep posting these updates. Anyways, its time for the highlight of the trip. Europa Park. This park is just absolutely amazing. I came in with very high expectations and the park still blew me away. There is not a single bad element about the park. All of the coasters are good, they have tons of fun dark rides, the theming in the park is of the same quality if not higher than Disney, its super clean, the employees are super friendly, the operations are some of the best in the world. Everything good to say about a theme park, I have to say about Europa Park. It totally ranks up there as one of my favorite theme parks of all time. Now onto the photos. All right. After our fun evening at Holiday Park, we were off to stay at Europa Park's on site hotel, the Hotel Colloseo. Ooh. Nice Wodan Model you got there. Well lets go to our rooms and put our stuff away. Damn. These rooms are NICE!!!!!!! You may have thought that we just went to bed, but nope. We hit the bar for some fun. Good morning. The Hotel Colloseum really had a good breakfast. All right. Time to head on over to Europa Park. Yeah. We'll be taking the secret hotel entrance to the park today. When you see the bull's balls, you know you're in the right place. First off, we start off our morning with Blue Fire ERT. After our Blue Fire ERT, we decided to check out the rest of the park. And while we're here. Why the hell not ride the powered coaster. Hey, it may not count as a credit, but it was a lot of fun. Not knowing what the hell it was, we decided to try out the Bibliothek der Brothers Grimm. Umm, yeah. This was probably the most f*cked up thing I have ever seen in a theme park. "I really love this new look. I must say, this is my favorite ride ever. I think I love it even more than beer." Apparently, they put us in the show and I was the wizard and they had to find me. Ummm, Hooray? Ok, I just have to stop and walk around to really absorb all of the beauty Europa Park has to offer. Afterwards, we decided to go and check out Euro Mir. Euro Mir has to be the biggest party ride ever. There's just no other ride like it. All right. Lets check out their Bobsled. Yeah. The Mack Bobsleds are much better than the Intamin ones. Its time to check out the parks Wild Mouse. Hey, this park hauls ass with operations. They're so good that even their Wild Mouse has good operations. And it has cool barnyard theming in line. Dude. There's a tilting elevator lift on this ride!!! AWESOME!!!!! But yeah. After the elevator, its pretty much just the typical Big First Drop Wild Mouse. Well, its gonna get a long line, so lets get Posideon out of the way. But yeah. Thanks to Europa Park's incredible operations, what would normally be a 2 hour line was only 30 minutes. And yeah. Its a really cool water coaster. Attention aileans. You are welcome at Europa Park. Umm, did I go back to Switzerland? Elissa kept raving about how good the raclette is here, so yeah. I naturally went and tried it. And yeah. Raclette is some really freaking good cheese!!! Hey look!!! Windjammer is still alive!!!! Nope. First off, its Vindjammer, and its just a pirate ship. All right. Lets check out the parks new for 2012 GCI, Wodan. Yeah. Its got a long line, but luckily, we're in Europa Park. This won't be very long. Plus its well themed too. In this mythical place a long time ago, they drank this magical substance called Coca Cola. Yeah. That first drop looks freaking amazing. "Mmm. Wodan tastes good. Now I need a beer to wash it down." This looks freaking amazing. Could this be my new favorite GCI? Nope. It was fun and all, but its not my favorite or even my 2nd favorite. The first drop is amazing, but after that, it mostly felt like Terminator. Yeah, its a really fun ride, but not quite as good as I was expecting. I did not bother with Atlantica Supersplash. Now some of you may be baffled since I'm a total credit whore, and I am. The only problem is that its not a credit, and I'd rather spend my time at Europa Park doing much better stuff. All right. Lets take a ride on their Monorail and just take a nice good look at this amazing park. I didn't eat here, but they did have a cool resteraunt that had your food ride a roller coaster to your table. Which is totally awesome. I'd like to try the place out next time. Hey look!!! A random dark ride with no line!!! Lets take a ride!!! It was a fun ride, though it felt weird riding a winter themed dark ride in the middle of summer. All right. Lets just focus on getting the rest of the credits at Europa Park. We'll get this one out of the way since it seems like a small coaster with not so great (by Europa Park standards) capacity. Hey, this was a really fun ride. It was definetly bigger than a kiddy coaster, but not quite a big coaster. It felt like a giant roller skater on steroids and is a perfect family coaster. I'm glad that there are clones of this thing at other parks. I must be hallucinating. For I seem to have morphed Europa Park into Epcot. Nope. They just host Euro Sat inside the same type of building that they have Spaceship Earth in. Ooh!! Euro Sat has its very own escelator!!! How fancy!!! All right. All we need now is Silver Star and we're done. Umm, yeah. The line for Silver Star is very strange. AKA, you're gonna be waiting forever for the front row. So yeah. How did Silver Star rank up to the other B&M Hypers? Honsetly, I wasn't that impressed. It totally reminded me of Goliath @ La Ronde. It was fun, but certainly not very strong. Cheers to getting all the credits in Europa Park. Now we can relax and just take it easy at Europa Park. Yeah. Lets go up in the Observation Tower and get some great ariel (video) shots. Hey, lets go check out the Stupid Boat Ride!!! "I've got so much to live for!!!!" Its a good thing you're in a place like Europa Park and not in a place like SFMM or else you'd be dead long ago. Well, we liked the last stupid boat ride. So lets go ride another one. "Does this thing spin or is the beer just kicking in?" Hey look!!! Its themed to Pinnochio!!!! Now when do we turn into...oh wait, we turned into jackasses long ago. Hey. Why the hell not? "Dammit. It looks like I'm finally paying for my lifesyle of living off nothing but Beer and Dunar Kebabs." Dude, these slides are actually really freaking insane. You completely fly off them. All right. Time for another cool Europa Park Dark Ride. Its this sort of weird Haunted Mansion type knock off. Yeah. Its a kick ass dark ride. Lets take another ride on Schwiezer Bobbahn. Their bobsled. Yeah. You can see the way it twists through all the turns. Look out for that tiny little river. Quick. Gotta finish my beer before I hop on the bobsled. "I see I've still got my chugging skills from my college days down." May I ask whats going on in the front row? I decided to try out the Gyros here, since they're similar to Duner Kebabs. Damn, these things kick some major ass. Hmm, more Blue Fire? I like that. I like that a lot. And yeah, Blue Fire is awesome. The launch is good. This funky turn is so slow it feels like you're going to roll back at the top. The loop is nothing special, but it is awesome since you're going through it all with just a lap bar. And then we have the final inline twist (Not the one in the picture). HOLY CRAP!!! THIS PART IS INSANE!!!! Its seriously one of the best inversions on any ride with a GREAT whip. It almost feels like Ispeed for this part. Hey!!! It looks like Europa Park decided to rescue Jaws and save him from the death that awaited him at Universal Studios Florida. GROUP TAKEOVER OF EURO MIR!!!!!!! HELL F*CKING YES!!!!!!! This ride is insane. First, you go up this huge spiral lifthill in the dark while its amazing theme song. Then you go through a ton of fun with the mirrors on the towers at the top. And the main roller coaster part is pretty crazy too with some fun drops, and actually some insane laterals at the end, especially when riding backwards. Keep holding on!!!! You'll eventually make it back up!!! After that fun Euro Mir Party, the park announced that we would be getting ERT on Wodan!!!! Yeah. It was a great 30 minutes with lots of rides in on Wodan. I'm in Europe all right. And after Wodan ERT, we went to the hotel where we had a great dinner.

Canyon Blaster @ the Adventuredome on Monday.

Just got back from seeing Primus in concert. The show itself was fantastic, though the audience was horrible. Everyone in the theater should've read this before going to the show. http://www.oocities.org/mr.kirchoff/index_files/concert_etiquette_for_adults.pdf

My Name Is Mud - Primus

Wave Pool Caribbean ((kuh-RIB-ee-uhn) or Carribean ((ka-rih-BEE-uhn)?

That ERT on Collosus in the rain was awesome. One of my favorite ERT Sessions ever. I've also ridden a good majority of SFMM's coasters in the rain, even Superman (in a very light drizzle). I remember on Scream, it was extremely painful, except for the moments when we were upsidedown and rain wasn't hitting us.

I'm glad to hear that everyones saying its as good as it looks. I can't wait till July when I can get on Iron Rattler.

Great Photo TR. It really makes me miss Europa Park. I gotta get back to this awesome park soon.

Here's a list of some of the hobbies that I have. -Theme Parks & Roller coasters -Movies -Screenwriting -Photography & Videography -Music (Play the trumpet) -Traveling -Cliff Jumping -Running

Ghostrider getting Topper Track. The layout is fine the way it is, it just needs to be retracked, though I won't complain if they do give it an Iron Horse Makeover. Skydiving or Bungee Jumping?

Considering the wildfire going on in Camarillo and Newbury Park, I felt that this is the perfect song to listen to. http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-california-wildfire-20130502,0,5247559.story Los Angeles is Burning - Bad Religion

Mexican Seafood - Nirvana