dandaman

"Mynd you, moose bites kan be pretti nasti..."

We're nice people, but with the exchange rate we're actually a bunch of a$$holes. Some things to know: Dan "That's a really impressive residential resume!" Smith

I liked how they introduced you as a "passionate roller coaster reviewer". Good article.

I demand Volumes 1 through 5. I'll pay handsomely. (Actually, I left my wallet in my other pants... let me go get it from my car. *SKREEEE*)

But how would we get amazing photos like this? Cameron: Too cool to take the tag off, too awesome to imagine.

^Post-Whizzer? I can only imagine how that feels. These only make me long for next summer, for which I am almost not-really-DEFINITELY meeting up with all of you guys again (and some maybe the first time?) at SFGAm and also desperately want to experience IB. Dan "Thanks for the Batman references!" Smith

He's still emotionally traumatized after doing Batman in the rear last month.

So I just played on a Williams "Junkyard" machine down at the campus pub. Is this significant, pinball wizards?

Well, I was about to comment on the lack of movie scores, but this is awesome.

The hell with that! Now that I'm in Florida I have Orlando an hour away AND no real off-season!

I came.

CP's my home park and I've used my season pass well enough since 2005, so not the case here. Also, trees, flats and kiddie rides are something I've never had an issue with at the park, and the other ones (besides the food prices) I could take or leave. See, this is what I play off of when I write these TR's. Though it doesn't seem like I have a good time, I'm a sarcastic kind of writer, and I'm still glad to be at the park. Kinda hurts when I put in some effort to these reports and they come across as "I absolutely hate everything about X-park".

^I think we can be sure now. CP posted on Facebook: "Gee, See Eye!"

Awesome. Can't wait for more!

We only stayed 'till 5, which now that I think about it we were only in the park for about 5-and-a-half hours due to the crowd at the gates. However, I know firsthand that Vortex offers great night rides... I rode it 4 times during TPR's night ERT at the Bash last year.

Behemoth alone is worth park admission. Go. Right now.

Okay, so I lied.

Couple of friends (henceforth referred to as their super-secret code names, 'Mat' and 'Jim') and I decided to try to hit up CW before I left for the land of hurricanes and year-round theme parks. Lines were pretty long for a Wednesday, though not as bad as I thought they'd be when I saw the lines at the gate! Got on 7 rides in 6 hours: Drop Tower, Wild Beast, Vortex, The Bat, Stunt Coaster, Behemoth and Time Warp. Still a great time, though, as I got to witness the popping of Mat's park/coaster cherry and Jim's first time to CW. Very little photos compared to my usual bandwidth onslaught -- and most of them are repeats -- but I hope you can get past not having your page load for eternity and enjoy anyway. And finally some idiots who ruined a perfectly good duplicate shot of the entrance plaza. Overall, despite the crowds, we had an awesome time. Thanks especially to Jim for driving 8 hours total for only 6 hours at the park, though we got done most everything we wanted to anyway. Did Time Warp next and called it a day. For all the brake run/clamshell lap bar/stadium seating enthusiasts. Behemoth = better than normal sex. Front row of the second car for us today. I prefer the back but the op called out for 2 riders so we took the spots. (Mat didn't ride, but I'm surprised he went on all that he did; hell, we started out the day with the one ride that still freaks ME out.) If this was really L.A., you'd see 16 Mini Coopers stuck in traffic and 3 cops sitting on the transfer track. "I dare you to find someone else who has this shot." --Me Our ERT in the multi-faith room was impromptu enhanced by a Muslim talking to us for about 10 minutes on the faith. I actually found him interesting -- he wasn't pushing his religion so much as explaining it -- but the fact that I dragged my friends in there for one picture and a quick sit-down on the bench and got an informative lesson is still hilarious. I still think if someone can line jump like this, he practically DESERVES to. Clench and squish! Catch car love Think we waited an hour for the Bat. Eh, not worth it. Either Mat or Jim made a comment that it's almost boring to keep watching for that long, so you already know exactly what'll happen when you're on it anyway and it sets itself up for disappointment. Bought some foot-long hot dogs (not from Scooby) and went in line for Vortex. Posted an hour, waited half that. Felt the brake run rocking and wondered if Jahan was riding in the back. I present to you the most money I've ever found on the ground. See? It pays to stare at the floor all day! Emos much be rich! I felt slightly guilty that this was Mat's first coaster credit, but strangely enough, Jim liked it for the headchoppers. My favourite part was the brake run. You called? (Realized that that was the second time I'd ever worn that shirt; I'm sure you can guess when the first was.) Disregard that last statement! DISREGARD! Getting the entire ride in one shot is for losers. Jim kindly draws attention to a rather unfortunately-placed tail. I find this rather ironic, as I keep calling him Shaggy all the time 'cause of his goatee. (Yeah, I know you're reading this. IT'S OUT THERE NOW. I WIN.) I dare you to find someone else who has this shot. This is the exact moment that my appreciation for ERT increased tenfold. It took us a half-hour to get INTO the park, with all gates open. Keep in mind this is a full hour after the park opened. Well, it's no photo walkback, but it'll do. I less-than-3 Behemoth. So, as I said before, it's just over a year since the greatest day of my coaster-lovin' life, Behemoth Bash. While the wait was about an hour for one ride today (as opposed to last year's unlimited rides in two hours), it was still so, SO worth it.

Will there be a Screamin' Swingset?

^Odd... I've always found Gemini and Raptor to have the most enthusiastic crews in the park!

This update makes me stand erect.

Look, I know I give CP a lot of flack, but truth is, I do love the park. Most of the crews are great at hauling a$$ any day I go, and this was no exception. Wasn't quite expecting to get crowds, no matter if it's summer, to be completely filling the main and Soak City lots and a good portion of the overflow lot on a Monday, but that's the luck of the draw. Heck, maybe it's TPR. Over the past few years I've realized more and more that there are some vastly underrated rides/parks out there, and to see CP constantly rated "best everything" just seems unfair. Combining that with the poor rain/camera policies and general poor quality/unexplainably high prices of food (lookin' at you, $16 Subway footlong), as a repeat visitor, it gets old fast.

I'm going to Canada's Wonderland tomorrow, a year and a day after the best day of my life, Behemoth Bash.

Read through all of the pages for full enjoyment, or just skip to all the parts with Wes. (Kind of a general rule for most TPR threads, really.) http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=50616

Dateline: two weeks ago. A few friends and I were planning a CP trip for Wednesday the 29th, but plans fell through. Uncle offers to drive the following Monday since I'd already bought a ticket at a $30 discount price, but had to pay the extra $15 minus my $7 coupon to pull even with regular pricing, since the deal was for admission on the 29th only. So, I figured I might as well take my camera if this was gonna be my last trip report hurrah up north before I head off to Florida later this week. A good decision (like Sam Adams?), as the lines were (for perspective) 90 minutes each for Millennium and Maverick. On a Monday. Ugh. Overall I only got 4 rides in 6 hours at the park, but I do like the shots I got so s'all good. Pics are in no particular order. Also also I upheld my proud tradition of visiting Steak 'n Shake on the way out and making the server do a double-take when I ordered an orange freeze/green mint side-by-side shake. Frozen bliss. Well, anyway, hope you weren't too disappointed with the above. I'm doing an AK/DHS park hopper combo on Sunday, but more than likely due to freshman craziness I won't get around to posting 'till at least a week after. So, until then, I bid you adieu. Also I'm putting this Maverick picture here instead of with the other one. Why? Because screw it, that's why. And it wouldn't be a complete crowded day if there wasn't a line to get out of the park. (You may insert your own Cedar Fair joke at your leisure.) *whistles "Bridge On The River Kwai"* Oh, what I wouldn't have given... Sign of quality? Evidently it's also a goose who will literally HEADBUTT FISH to get a biscuit. "I'm a goose. I might be Canadian, but I don't know." Yes, for the first time in the past 5 or so visits, Gemini was racing. Back outside, we see a decidedly larger model than in the display. Apparently recreating the Apocalypse used to cost 25 cents back in the 1930's. (Look at its burning, unfeeling EYES.) Had a lot of old-time games in there too, like this baseball one where the umpire gets to sit down for some reason. Albert's family tree. "So, do you measure that thing in metric, or...? Stupid glare. Another thing I've somehow failed to notice: the train display! I blame the fire truck for being so big. And the mustachioed fireman for being so cool. Original plane-on-a-stick? The best incarnation of Mean Streak is one that can't be ridden. They had a wall of autographed portraits that I'd never noticed before of entertainers who'd visited in the past, including Louis Armstrong and Duke "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing" Ellington. Many people don't know that there was an Aquatrax already built where Maverick is today. Though it was more of an "Aquatrough". Or "Flume". Or, as Cedar Fair might rename it, "Water Ride". Not pictured: Magnum XL-200, Best New Sign 2009. Bill Clinton likes doing it in the rear! (My wit peaked quite a few captions ago.) Since I can't think of a caption, I'd like to say that today marks a year since the greatest day of my life at Behemoth Bash. So... yeah. Now I'm depressed. A few cool models in here. If everyone were required to wear a suit and bowler hat to ride, ACErs would still sew on patches and completely negate the "formal businessman" look. It occurred to me that I'd never been in the Town Hall Museum whilst having a camera yet, so I paid my fare of $0 to the manliest ticket counter guy I've ever seen (must use Shaverite) and went exploring. Old and busted. New hotness. Doing Maverick in the back seat < doing Batman in the rear. Like many people, the stocks really had me in a bind this year. ...Oh my Christ, that is the most accidentally terrifying face I have ever made on film. Though it does lend to my "GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN KIDS!" demeanor. Sign of quality! Raise your hands... if you're sure! AHAHAHAHAHA *ahem* I must respectfully decline. The aftermath of telling fanboys that "something's brewin' for 2010". Empty rapids love SHAME Albert likes to frolic in the meadow. Sadly this took me 2 train cycles 'cause the wind kept moving the flowers out of focus... Meet Albert. He's a steam locomotive, therefore he is awesome. He's been shunned by the other engines because he's SBNO. Poor Albert. PHOTOSHOP! This store is fan-made and fake. "Poster" Oh, look, it's that Magnum Force thingy. What is it about my experience with early B&M's that makes me think they become S&M's with age? Bicycle seat = oh, the humanity. (And for guys, subsequent lack to produce same.) Improvement-ish A lot more macro-flower pics to come, hence why I start with my failure to get the actual flowers focused and instead present you with a big pissed-off more-like-a-bird dragon. Eh. (That's an ambivalent "eh", not a Canadian "eh".) "We have mixed feelings about Wildcat. If we knew this was a Schwarzkopf ride we would be all smiles." Which is more painful: Staring into the sun or riding Corkscrew? If you know the answer, E-MAIL someone who cares. Gripping the front of the train in sheer (feigned) terror is not an appropriate Starburst enjoyment pose. Draggin' Iron presented by McDonald's. (OK, well it's my sister's favourite ride, and she hates roller coasters. So I guess it has some redeeming value. Some.) "Same" I feel ashamed for posting this and calling the TR "a somewhat-alternate look". Have you ever thought to yourself, "What would ACEr e-mail spam titles look like?" Well, think no longer. Also, get a hobby. This is the best billboard ever. "For the REAL Man." "74 cents". "DO NOT FAIL TO BUY ONE TODAY." At first I thought under the "rite" it said "Agents Will Come", as in to your house and punch you repeatedly in the face until you buy this manliest of hygiene tools. It's that awesome. NOTED! I hope it's a new set of thighs. As a coaster sign maker in 2007 and 2008, I've seen the sign for Magnum more times than all of the other coaster signs on my list combined... well over 300 times and I've seen 350+ coaster signs. It sits firmly at the top of my steel coaster sign list. I can't really even explain it. The construction, the font choice, classic color combination, beveling, and my GOD the steel framing. Out of my 300+ sign views, I MIGHT have had three or four unpleasant ones where the sign had bird poop on it and I was unfortunate enough to see it after a dirty rain shower, but 99.9% of my views have been pure bliss. Stand about six feet back (so that you're not directly blocking your peripheral vision) and you'll be fine. --Wes, from the memorable 17-page "discussion" Happy 20th, ride-I-like-but-kills-my-thighs-and-various-other-body-parts-every-time! (Maybe I like it due to recurring amnesia.) Millennium Force performs its best "SHOOP DA WOOP" impression. Welcome to the world's #1 amusement park, according to people whom I imagine have never left the comfort of Ohio.