cfc

Chapter 16: A Chinese Version of a Good Six Flags Park?--Chimelong Paradise Well, after a long Christmas break, it's time to update this report. We visited two parks after our rescheduled credit-whoring day around Guangdong: Chimelong Paradise and Chuanlord Holiday Manor. These parks offer an interesting contrast; however, I took more pictures than I thought that day, so I'm going to split this day into two separate chapters. Robb remarked that Chimelong was like a "good Six Flags park," and I agree with that assessment. The park itself was very attractive and well maintained, and the staff seemed pretty friendly, too. Although, unlike many other Chinese parks, it lacked a dark ride or a haunted walk through, there was a solid collection of non-cloned coasters here by Intamin, B&M, Vekoma, and Mack, and they offered a big (if somewhat silly) stunt show on top of that. There aren't any themed "lands" per se, but the park is divided into a number of "zones," such as "Screaming Zone" or "Adventure Zone" (and the kid-friendly "Happy Kingdom"). The landscaping throughout is essentially tropical. In a shocking turn of events, there was neither a Spinning Mouse nor a Jungle Mouse! But, as usual, the park seems to have trouble with names--unless you think "10 Inversion Coaster" or "Dive Coaster" are devilishly clever in their minimalism. Let's have a look at Chimelong Paradise. My next update will take on what I consider to be the "Chinese Knott's Berry Farm." Welcome to paradise! Well, that may be overstating things, but it is a nice park. Hmm--this looks like Sheikra buck nekkid to me! OK, who died and made this "King of Roller Coaster"? All coasters should have a "Happy Photo Studio." (Well, maybe not Ghostrider.) Yes, these cameras have such high resolution that they can take a clear picture of a fly at over 100 yards. Robb leads us in prayer before our filming session. Yes, all coasters are treated with proper reverence on TPR. Can you not hear the angels singing in praise of B&M? We dare not make a sound as the entire group is baptized in the Dive Coaster's sacred pool. (And, yes, it was a very good ride, indeed.) And now, a coaster with an even cooler name than "Dive Coaster"--10 Inversion Coaster! (That's "Colossus" to our British members.) Let's see, 1, 2, 3, . . . where are the other 7? There are, indeed, 10 inversions! And that's the bottom line, because Intamin said so! Once again, note the reverence of TPR members as they walk on holy ground. Because smile good! I admit that I'm not a big fan of Colossus, because it left me with a headache back in 2006. This one didn't seem quite as rough, but I'm still not a big fan. The loop is the best part. I much prefer the Mega Lites or Gigas to these multi-inversion coasters. Oh my god! Those poor people are going to be smashed into that support! Oh, the humanity! Noted! This dude is definitely feeling "physically uncomfortable." So the staff sent him here. I felt a bit "physically uncomfortable" after riding this Intamin Half-Pipe. Catchy, eh? But at least it's a real, honest-to-god Vekoma! Neil is very happy to be riding a real Vekoma. "Wha? Did something just crawl up my leg?" Everyone seems to be smiling. "Happy, smiling people everywhere . . ." I like these Booster Bike coasters, too. The filming completed, the group was turned loose on an unsuspecting Chimelong Paradise. "Ahoy! Coaster enthusiasts off the port bow! Tell the cook we be needin' extra gravy!" Suddenly, I feel that I'm at Land of the Dragons in Busch Gardens Williamsburg. Or "the Justin Bieber Ride." Now here's an interesting way to keep people from sitting on the handrails. Again, the people ride in awed, reverent silence. Another solid Mack ride being treated with the proper, quiet respect it deserves. Bill was so moved by the experience that he wept with joy. What's this? A hand in the air! Stone the blasphemer! More to come from Chimelong Paradise.

Hmm--I'd say the Wacky Soapbox Racers at Knott's. Not a major thrill machine, by any means, but an excellent family coaster with great theming.

^I would not mess with Lava Monster--better get him a "people-filled Duffy" quick!

I'm sure they can get a better deal on the one at Hard Rock Freestyle Music Park.

Perhaps you should take your own good advice.

I have high hopes that this ride will live up to its concept art.

I wasn't too thrilled with Drayton when I was on TPR's 2006 UK trip, although I did find Pirate Adventure and The Haunting quite amusing and thought Apocalypse was great. I understand that it's been improving a lot over the years, and wouldn't mind giving the place another look.

Maybe he's a "later-era" Toto kind of guy. Robb do not stop having fun--ever!

It sort of looks like an elephant, or perhaps Minnesota with a trunk.

How many people were crazy enough to be on the chair swings that night? Thanks for the pictures--I like Phantasialand quite a bit.

Athough I'm not a loud "screamer" on coasters either, I've never understood why some enthusiasts think that such rides should be treated with total silence and reverence. You're not at church, for Christ's sake.

That restaurant was a bit slow, but the food was great--nice atmosphere, too.

^True. Why go to the trouble of making cool merchandise that very few people will buy?

Here's my favorite DisneySea souvenir. I got these figurines for 50% off in the Tower of Terror store back in 2007.

Iron Rattler is looking good, as is Fiesta Texas's Christmas events. How many years have they been open over Christmas?

Next time, you should experiment with fire!

I look forward to your paper in Scientific American concerning this experiment.

^Exactly. While the Runaway Mine Cars coaster is an excellent addition, this isn't a full-day park yet.

I agree with Balder--an airtime-filled coaster that is very re-rideable.

When you think you have seen it all. I have no hope for humanity. Wait until they get a load of (or dump a load in) a Hong Kong Disney squat toilet.

^Exactly. It's called knowing what the he'll you're doing. They are the savviest travelers I've ever met.

I think this is true of avid fans of any particular park, but hard-core Disney fans take it to a whole other level. As I've said elsewhere, this is one of the reasons I stay away from single-park fansites. Too many obsessive people .

^My money is on "no," but stranger things have happened.

According to rcdb, at least they're getting a real Vekoma Boomerang and an actual Skyloop.

I"d like to see them install a bear with dynamite.