Electerik

I'm fairly sure my season will start with Dollywood. However, we are planning on moving (back) to Orlando in May, and we may not exactly take the most direct route (if you know what I mean).

You are too kind, good sir. I really do like Twitter. It's hard to explain why it's different/better than Facebook and MySpace status updates, but it is. And it really is perfectly suited for smart phone usage.

I’m still working on my Smoky Mountain Christmas update, but today I managed to sneak over to Dollywood for a couple of hours, beore it closed due to weather and low attendance. So here you go--a short, super-special update: Dollywood in the Snow! Oh, and for a handful of slightly different photos, and to learn my detailed feelings on frozen precipitation, cruise on over to my blog: The Deep Black Sea: Walking In a Winter Dollywood. Walking in a winter wonderland! He sings a love song, as we go along... Here to stay is a new bird... Gone away is the bluebird... Walking in a winter wonderland. A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight... In the lane, snow is glistening... Sleigh bells ring, are you listening...

Apparently, it is being built by the same people, and should be pretty much the same. I'm looking forward to covering it, as well. But I'm a bit skeptical about the concept, to be honest. I mean, isn't the subject matter a bit...depressing? "Hey kids, wanna have some fun? Then stick your hand into this 35-degree water! This is what killed 250 of Titanic's passengers within minutes!" Supposedly, everyone who enters will be assigned the name of one of the real passengers. And at the end, you find out whether or not your person lived. I am not making this up.

And heart to heart, you'll win! /If you survive....

Hollywood Star Cars Museum is another one of those attractions that we probably never would have done if it wasn't for this thread. First of all, neither one of us is all that into cars. But also, it looks a bit weak. I must say, though, we were pleasantly surprised.... That’s too many letters. Star Cars Museum...where the cars are the stars! Awesomeness. Presumably, so that Giant Tom Cruise can try to sell you miniature cars. However, it’s blocked off. To exit, you must backtrack all the way back through the serpentine path of the museum. Dinosaurs make everything cooler. On the left side of the photo is the apparent exit. I’m a huge James Bond fan. In fact, I probably would have checked this place out earlier if I’d know all this stuff was here. But really, the car from GoldenEye? It doesn’t even do anything! He drives it for, like, five seconds! Misty thinks I’m an incredible nerd for waiting for an explosion on the TV to take this shot. The Beach Boys vandalized this one. All the excuse anyone in Sevier County needs to work Dolly in somewhere. This is kind of weird. The stars of Ghostbusters apparently signed the ceiling. I wonder how much they paid for that? Kitt talks--though not actually to you, per se. "A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist." Bob’s road? I’ve never really thought of MASH as a car-oriented show, but okay. Oil, that is. Sorry, Smisty. You can’t get in it. It’s got gauges and canisters and stuff. Smisty’s favorite movie car. Roads? The alien, even less so. But the theater has an interesting little documentary on some guy that designed a lot of movie cars, so that’s cool. Um...not really anything to do with cars, guys. I’m just saying. The second level of the museum greets you thusly. Or you can settle for this freebee. For a price, you can get your photo inside any of the cars. The gift shop is a car, though. Misty is laughing at Batman. Presumably, because he is not a car. “All cars are the originals, no replicas”? Does Cooter’s know about this?? As I’ve mentioned before, most attractions in the area give some sort of local discount. Star Cars is the first one we’ve encountered that just let us in for free, though!

So, a sea-voyage themed roller coaster on a boat? I guess I can't argue with that! /Free alcohol?

For anyone who thinks Twitter sounds lame...let me just point out that you're roller coaster enthusiasts. You might as well go all in. And many TPR luminaries also have their own accounts. There's no end to the fun!

^ Actually, I think it had something to do with the Batmobile being the world's most popular car or some nonsense. But you're still Poster of the Week! And I suppose I should say that we didn't pay the full $10.00 each entry price. As locals, they let us in for $3.00 each. Which kind of makes me feel like a jerk for slamming the place. Kind of.

^ What can I say? I'm a skeptic.

The name change makes sense to me. I do wonder what they might rename the two Busch Gardens park to, though. Personally, I'm pulling for LandWorld.

Guinness Book of Records, in Gatlinburg, is kind of like Ripley's Believe It Or Not, except less interesting. The problem, I think, is the concept itself. “Records” are just words on a piece of paper. It might be interesting that the greatest number of beers drank in a day is 119, but 119 empty beer bottles strewn around a really drunk-looking mannequin simply isn’t. Actually, maybe that would be. They should have done that. The exit dumps you at the back of a mall. But at least it was decorated for Christmas! Perhaps I’m being too harsh on poor Guinness. It’s better than World of Illusions. I guess. Is it over? If this update only consisted of one photo, this would be the one. Okay, in all seriousness, I really have no idea what this is supposed to be. There’s no explanation given. It’s a car with a mummy in the back seat, and Elvis with a black box for a head on the hood. Kicking the tires does nothing. Just...fudge you, Guinness! The world’s most motorcycle- shaped advertisement. Oooh, literature! This should be good! I didn’t get a good photo of it, but on the wall in there are two placards. One says that the best selling book of all time is the Guinness Book of World Records. The other, that the best selling non-fiction book of all time is the bible. See if you can find at least two things wrong with that. So, Guinness Book of Records takes a really wide view as to what qualifies as a record. Can you guess why the Batcave is here? These are chairs. If they’re so tall, why did they put them on pedestals? $35 a pound is a lot and all, but really? That’s the record? This would be a really good place for the drunk guy. She looks really good, though. I refuse to believe that Elvis owned a speedboat named, “Hound dog.” Well, that’s rather insensitive! I’m...not really sure what’s going on here, to be honest. The current “dislocated- shoulder discus” world champion. Sports. (I think that runner dude is gonna run into that hurdle.) Wait, ducks were on the ark? This is some kind of joke, right? FAIL Misty is very impressed. World’s biggest some kind of tree, once. Space stairs. That you can sit on. Megalodork! I guess they figure, if you paid $10 to get in here, you’ll believe anything. You push a button, hold you breath for as long as you can, then push another button, and it shows you how long you held your breath for. Placards mark recreations of various small “world’s largest” things. You enter through the skeletal structure of a whale, or something. The entrance does a pretty good job of conveying the randomness you will encounter within.

Well, it was a nice report, anyway....

^^ Wait...guess the ride? That's kind of the opposite of a ride sign then, isn't it? /I also like Voodoo/Possessed's sign quite a bit.

It's hard to beat this: The sign is the entrance.

^^ I once had management (at a major US park) tell me to tell guests that a coaster was down due to weather, while they were removing a train from the track after a rollback, in full guest view.

I'm starting to look at Dubai concept art as the hottest chick on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras. You stand around hoping she'll flash, but then she gets stoned to death before you ever find out.

No, I don't think so. It wasn't done in camera, but with ACDSee (photo editing software). And now (since you sort of asked), way too much information on how this photo came about! Only then did it occur to me that I could jack the saturation back up, and it wouldn't affect the now-black-and-white-looking train. (I also cropped it, to remove the bits of color in the bottom right.) This still isn't quite the final product, though. I think I sharpened it a bit, as well. But yeah, I'm pretty proud of it, considering my relatively amateurish, low-tech approach. Just to see what would happen, I dialed down the color saturation, so that just the foreground was left with a hint of color. Which I thought looked kind of cool. The original photo was quite interesting to begin with, with a sort of haze around the train/background.

^ You mean, like, the fact that Dollywood and IOA have about the same number of coasters already? /You'll grow out of it, kid.

I'm not a big waterpark guy, but Splash Country is very nice. If I may be so bold: Dollywood's Splash Country Based on past winners, it looks like they try to spread this award around:

Oh, is it comparison time? Very well! Erik's Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge/Sevierville Mini Golf Roundup! From best to worst: Hillbilly Golf (Page 1) Old Gatlinburg Golf & Games (Page 17) Old MacDonald’s Farm (Page 3) Pirate Golf, at MagiQuest (Page 18) Adventure Golf (Page 16) Davy Crockett Mini Golf (Page 36) Blindshot Barnaby’s Circus Golf (Page 13) Professor Hacker’s Lost Treasure Golf (Page 22) Hazzard County Country Club, at Cooter’s (Page 28) Firehouse Golf (Page 32) Treasure Quest (Not yet covered) Lazerport (Page 20) Gator Golf, at The Track (Not yet covered) Smoky Mountain Fantasy Golf (Page 7) Dragon’s Lair Fantasy Golf, at Nascar Speedpark (Not yet covered) Other Dimension, at Ober Gatlinburg (*) * Ober Gatlinburg's update is on Page 7. However, the mini golf course was not covered. So here's a photo of it: It should also be noted that it's been awhile since I've played Treasure Quest, Gator Golf, and Dragon's Lair--so I reserve the right to rearrange this list later, if need be.

November 14th was Misty's birthday. So we celebrated by doing...well, pretty much the same kind of stuff we do anyway: Dollywood, the Aquarium, and... Ripley's Davy Crockett Mini Golf Davy Crockett. Man. Myth. Raccoon. He invented the bowie knife. And he’s dead now. Neither of us won the free game on this one. And, as has become our custom, we did not keep score. And, really, the important thing--especially on Misty’s birthday--was that we had fun. So to speak of winners and losers would be meaningless. Let’s move on. “Golf ball goes down the hole.” This hole is 3 frogs awesome. It's like wolves, but they're frogs. (Because, eventually, everything turns into a Mitch Hedberg joke in my world.) What? This is how I dress for mini golf. “Hey, you kids. Get a room.” Just to prove that we were actually there at the same time. I just like that this figure floats around on a tether. It’s the simple things that amuse me. Wait, “please do not lean on fences or handrails”? Then what on earth are they for? The Village Course now, my dear. I insist. This hole is insane. Not only is it nearly impossible to hit it into either of the two channels, but then you’re deposited on a very long green on the other side of the road. Honestly, I was quite happy to score a 4 on this one. Because it was her birthday, I promised to take 100 pictures of her. (Plus, I let her carry only jackets and umbrellas in her backpack, instead of the customary live raccoon.) An overview of what’s ahead. And yes, the two courses are divided by a road that you go underneath. Misty points towards where she thinks the hole is. I’ll be honest; I’m not quite sure why the beaver is holding a giant toothbrush. The Smisty, still laughing about my 9. This hole proved to be my kryptonite. I scored a 9 (which isn't even possible). If you putt it through the middle, the bear rears up and eats that dude. Though often glossed over by many of today’s historians, it is nevertheless true that Davy Crocket was, in fact, a full-blooded raccoon. “I sure am a lucky turtle.” The birthday girl chooses to start on the Fort Crocket course. In case you’re wondering, the “ADA” course starts with the first 9-holes of Fort Crocket, then switches to the back 9 of the Village. Or perhaps you were not wondering. I love stuff like this: A map of the two 18-hole courses and how they intertwine. ...or even a pressed penny. The clubhouse, where you can buy a souvenir coonskin cap... Upon entering Gatlinburg (from Pigeon Forge), Davy Crockett is the first mini golf course you’ll encounter.

It's just for comparison's sake, to see how people feel about wooden coasters vs. steel. It doesn't really affect anything, but I always find it interesting to see how many wooden coasters place higher than any steel coaster. Basically, it confirms what most of us already suspect: Most enthusiasts prefer wood to steel.

Good. The beauty of Mitch's system is that "less informed" votes still help the accuracy of this poll rather than detract from it. /Don't care if you've only ridden two. Still vote.

Those are really impressive. So what inspired you to do this? (Perhaps a career in park map drawing?)