cfc Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Presidents Park near Williamsburg, Va., located just across the Rt. 199 from Water Country USA, attempts to answer a burning question that has dogged historians for decades: What if all the presidents of our great nation had heads bigger than Buicks? The park, possibly the Williamsburg area's weirdest attraction, has a pretty weird history of its own. It seems that this wealthy visionary, whose name escapes me, purchased an entire set of huge concrete busts of all the presidents--from George Washington to George W. Bush--simply to build an educational attraction to appeal to school kids and families. Well, he laid out the park, trucked all the busts from Texas to York County, Va., and set about getting his building permits. Local reaction was, shall we say, unenthusiastic. Williamsburg was afraid that the whole concept, basically a rock garden of giant presidential heads, would be in bad taste. Even York County, which had gleefully allowed a Pirates Cove Adventure Golf and a Hooters (the county's motto is "if it feels good, build it") to be built right on the dividing line with snooty old Williamburg, balked at the idea of a 30-foot statue of the Father of Our Country towering over the trees and glowering at passing traffic on I-64. It took three years, but our visionary got his permits and built his park (sans the giant Washington). Yes, now you can stroll the winding paths of Presidents Park, gasp in awe at how much work must've gone into those concrete chief-executive kissers, and learn little factoids about our leaders past and present. Well, I did, indeed, wander amid the monumental mugs of the presidents. And I couldn't help but wonder just what they would say, if they had concrete tongues to go with their mouths. Perhaps it would go something like this . . . Ford: Hey, lady--would you say that Nixon is "compensating" for something with that huge nose? Just wonderin'. Sigh . . . we Virginia presidents pretty well crap on all other presidents until Lincoln, don't we lads? T. Roosevelt: Oh, leave poor Fillmore alone. At least we were still at war with somebody when I led the Rough Riders up San Juan Hill. Jerk. Jackson: Yeah, right Millard! It's not like you, oh, won the Battle of New Orleans or something. But you have my permission to come and pull this tree out of my eye. Fillmore: Oh, gee, I feel so sorry for you "big name" presidents. I wish there was a "Millard Fillmore Day Sale" somewhere! Please, use my kisser to sell major appliances! I don't mind. Lincoln: I'm with you, George. And I resent having my face used to sell washing machines and used cars. I held our country together during the Civil War for god's sake! Washington: Remember when you used to get my birthday off? What is this President's Day nonsense? Abe, what say you?
DerekRx Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 I am officially frightened! Plop down a nice Intamin hyper called "The Constitution" and I'll think about visiting, otherwise I'll be cowering in the corner
cfc Posted February 3, 2006 Author Posted February 3, 2006 If they'd made it a mini-golf course, they might've had something.
Wes Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 OH MY GOD. This is really the greatest thing I've ever seen. I have a slightly bizarre fascination with dead presidents. I'd honestly take a trip out there just to see this. Oh my god. Awesome. Please tell me you have a picture of the Rutherford B. Hayes statue.
PhishyBrewer Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 If they'd made it a mini-golf course, they might've had something. Hit the the ball at Bushie's nads and get a FREE Pizza!!!
cfc Posted February 3, 2006 Author Posted February 3, 2006 OH MY GOD. This is really the greatest thing I've ever seen. I have a slightly bizarre fascination with dead presidents. I'd honestly take a trip out there just to see this. Oh my god. Awesome. Please tell me you have a picture of the Rutherford B. Hayes statue. Nope--no pic of Hayes. But here's Martin Van Buren for ya! I'll give President Hayes your regards.
Bubba Z Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 We saw that while leaving Water Country USA. After we found out it was ten bucks to walk around we just looked over the fence instead. He should have sent them to Philly to be placed around the city. They would have at least gotten a free paint job.
Hattuchili Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 You have a Presidents Park there? I think that is a nice place of american history! Oh and great pictures! --Sören
Louise Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 OMG, whoever said that would be scary at night.... I can't even imagine! Nice photos Chuck, LMAO'd at some of the captions.
Shockwave Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Have they got a statue of Bill Clinton there? I'd go just for that!
cfc Posted February 3, 2006 Author Posted February 3, 2006 I kid the place, but it actually is rather pleasant, Soren. There's even a gazebo out by Lincoln that would be a nice spot to eat a sandwich. Now if only they could've added a new president this year . . .
FlyingScooter Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Wow, that is a trip. That'd be cool for a frightfest. Set it up with fog, colored strobes and droning voice of Betty Ford, repeating in a monotone: Just say NO!!!!! Just say no!!!!!
Chrissie Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 Loooool!! That is soooooo random! I love it!
cfc Posted February 3, 2006 Author Posted February 3, 2006 Hey, kids! Want to read more about Presidents Park? Here's their Web site: http://www.presidentspark.org/
dandaman Posted February 3, 2006 Posted February 3, 2006 If they'd made it a mini-golf course, they might've had something. Hit the the ball at Bushie's nads and get a FREE Pizza!!! They'd deserve waaaaay more than a pizza from me!
cfc Posted February 3, 2006 Author Posted February 3, 2006 If they'd made it a mini-golf course, they might've had something. Hit the the ball at Bushie's nads and get a FREE Pizza!!! They'd deserve waaaaay more than a pizza from me! And if you light up Clinton's nose, you win . . . well, maybe we don't want to know that.
dandaman Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 And if you light up Clinton's nose, you win . . . well, maybe we don't want to know that. I'd want to know... just no detail.
cfc Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 ^Actually, all you win for lighting up Bill Clinton is a gift certificate to a Gap outlet, good for a "slightly irregular" blue dress.
FlyingScooter Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 ^LOL I think a bill and monica statue would look cool. All we need to add would be Hillary with a shotgun.
Angry_Gumball Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Hmmm...I see potential for a paintball field...I mean, the president busts would make great bunkers as PB players get the joy of shooting presidents while attempting to eliminate the opposing team.
cfc Posted February 4, 2006 Author Posted February 4, 2006 ^Players could dress up like John Wilkes Booth.
dougr Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 I am officially frightened! Plop down a nice Intamin hyper called "The Constitution" and I'll think about visiting, otherwise I'll be cowering in the corner A ride named "The Constitution" wouldn't last long-Bush would sneak around in secrecy and crap on it! "Nixon told me to do it!"
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