cfc Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 The Halloween season is in full swing in Virginia, what with Howl-o-Screamat Busch Gardens and Haunt at Kings Dominion. Both parks have their own spin on how best to entertain and scare their guests. BGW is more about mood and atmosphere with more elaborate mazes, while KD takes a more "minimalist" approach emphasizing gore and shocks. Both approaches have their uses. I enjoy them both. KD boasts two new mazes this year, in addition to six from last year (some of which were jazzed up a bit). The Doswell park's scarezones tend to be more active than those in Williamsburg, too. And there's fog. Lots of fog. Lots and lots of particulate fog that can make you cough, choke, and smell like an oil refinery. (Yeah, I think they can cut back on the fog a bit.) Here's what I think of the mazes, starting with the best and ending with the worst. Medieval Macabre (Dodgem bldg., The Grove)--Ever wonder what it was like during the Black Death? Well, here's your chance. The dark ages theming is a bit minimal, but it works reasonably well, and there are plenty of scareactors crammed into the maze. Beware the "two-stage" queue, though (you think you're in, then there's a another mess of switchbacks to get through). New for '09. Slaughterhouse (Grizzly Arcade, Old Virginia)--Welcome to Uncle Bob's BBQ! Today's special: Honey Barbeque Filet of . . . YOU! I was afraid that this would be just a renamed version of "Blood Shed," the old maze that sat here for years. However, KD gave the space a pretty substantial overhaul, while keeping the cannibalism theme. Good, gory, goofy fun. New for '09. Maze of Madness (International Street)--OK, this is probably the cheapest maze at KD: a tent partitioned with chain link and mirrors and filled with fog and strobe lights. But hit this thing after dark, and it works really well, especially if the scareactors are really energetic and work that chain link. Club Blood (Hurler turnaround, The Grove)--Personally, I think the "vampire nightclub" routine is a bit overworked, but this maze is OK, and there are certainly plenty of bloodsuckers about, one of whom knew my name. I think. Could've swore I hear "Chuck" or maybe "Chock" from some big ghoul (or maybe he said "ch-a-a-a-a-a-w"). Toxic Plague (Old Hypersonic queue, The Grove)--Face hideous mutant bugs in the sewers of KD! This maze is better than last year's version, and it features some of the most elaborate sets at Haunt. OK, if a bit cartoony. Blackbeard's Revenge (White Water Canyon, Old Virginia)--OK, I guess I'm willing to accept that Blackbeard somehow managed to get his ship into the woods of Doswell. The forest, some creative lighting, and liberal sampling of the scores of Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean flicks do make this the most atmospheric of KD's mazes. But be prepared for a long wait before boarding, dogs! Big Top Terror (Lazer Tag bldg., The Grove)--Oh, look. A 3D clown maze. Joy. Well, this is is fairly trippy, at least. Alien Outpost (Flight of Fear queue, Congo)--God, this thing is so hit-or-miss. Mostly miss. Most of the aliens were on their coffee break, I guess, but there is one pretty nifty surprise. Still, I'd rather have the ride than the maze. The scarezones feature ghouls, twisted versions of fairly tales, evil clowns, voodoo priests, and farmers. (OMG! NOT FARMERS!) I passed on the Blue Ridge Bloodbath car ride (it has been fun in past years) and the shows (maybe later in the month). Here's a peek at KD's Haunt. "3D." Any questions? More to come from Haunt. "2D." And now, I'd like to demonstrate the difference between "2D" and "3D." As I leave, aliens start showing up. Figures. First maze of the night. Some folks there thought they were queuing for Flight of Fear. "Yeah, I'm all family friendly and stuff. NOW YOU DIE!" "I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! One of his eyes resembled that of a vulture--a pale blue eye with a film over it." "Yes, I appreciate a good pun--AFTER I SWALLOW YOUR SOUL! Let's see . . . Patty O'Fur . . . I say, how delightfully droll! KD is in no way responsible for this head. Rebel Yell is ready for Haunt. Yes, aren't you blown away by this authentic Medieval theming? I know I was impressed. Why, Shakespeare might walk through that door at any second. Kids, this is what will happen to your brains if you watch too many Transformers or Twilight movies. Any questions? But that seems a bit extreme. Yeah, I could stand to lose a few pounds. "Er, dude? I'd really like to swallow you whole, but I've already eaten. Come back in about two days." Crap! Now I'll never get to Volcano. See? A bit scarier after dark. I don't even want to know what the angry tiki mask is doing to the stuffed dragon's butt. Run! Run in fear from Pinkie the Shark! No lie--he'll put a hurtin' on you! Welcome to the "Feary Tales" scarezone. Well, it will be a scarezone in about two hours. My god! There is nothing more terrifying than . . . corn! Well, maybe kiwis. Those little furry fruits are kind of disturbing. Come to think of it, egg plants look like space-alien pods. Yeah, corn gets a bad rap. We now return to Haunt, which is not quite yet in progress. Some of the mazes open at 6:00, others at 7:00 (like the scarezones). "See--what did I tell you?" "Dude, that news is older than us. Go up the Eiffel Tower and see for yourself." What? KD is getting a new ride? This is huge! "Elementary, my dear Watson! Now, I wonder if there's someplace where one can purchase a shirt." "That's uncanny, Holmes! How do you do it?" " . . . there appears to be some sort of Halloween event taking place at Kings Dominion!" "Hmm--unless I miss my guess, Watson . . .
cfc Posted October 6, 2009 Author Posted October 6, 2009 More blood-curdling horror from Doswell, Va.! Eek! The Eiffel Tower is getting more evil by the second! That's all. Thanks for a fun evening, KD. Fry, baby, fry! A perfect set up for the Maze of Madness. And now, presenting one of the coolest things at Haunt. Ready! Set! . . . and big punkin-head dude. . . . an by night. I like this one. Especially the giant crow . . . "The Harvest" acarezone by day . . . Once again, aren't you blown away by the immersive theming? Look! It's the farting horse's butt from Blood Shed! He found a new home. "Stand by to stand by, mates! Tis a powerful long line yet through that gate." "Arr! That's what I gets fer me constructive criticism! Blackbeard be a cruel man--but fair." "Captain, that new mast. The wood seems a bit green, sez I, what with all the bark and leaves and such." Did I mention that KD likes fog? I think these fog machines are sponsored by some company that makes asthma inhalers. The source of the Tower's EVIL. Clowns. Why did it have to be clowns? . . . to make Uncle Bob's fritters. You know, it takes all kinds of critters . . . As darkness descends, the Eiffel Tower becomes EVIL! OK, who's been eating at Taco Bell? Those burritos'll kill ya! You know, it really does smell kind of funky around here. OK, found it! Never mind! Sheesh, could this be any more difficult to find? I mean, why all the secrecy? Where the hell is this joint? OK, I know Club Blood is around here somewhere.
PKI Jizzman Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Ah, a classic Chuck PTR...thanks for the report buddy! -Zach
Electerik Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 I love what they've done with the Eiffel Tower. Thanks, Chuck!
Capitalize Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Very funny TR! The electrocution guy was over Shockwave last year if I remember correctly. I can't wait to get out there in a week or so to get my Maxx pass for next season.
Homeboy23 Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 Great report! I haven't been to KD's haunt since I worked there in 2003. I should really go back one night.
KDCOASTERFAN Posted October 6, 2009 Posted October 6, 2009 So that's why hurler closed early? I was in that general area taking a break saturday evening around 5:30 or so when I saw an op come down the queue & go under the chain....then again after the horrid rides I had saturday it should just be closed permanently because sitting on the righthand side of the train was far worse than the left,which is just as bad. Haunt was great saturday night for the 2nd visit in a week,I love the effort & atmosphere that the park provides during the evening hours & the near walk ons during the day.
cfc Posted October 6, 2009 Author Posted October 6, 2009 ^I imagine it would detract a bit from the atmopshere of Club Blood to have a loud coaster train rumbling by every few minutes.
Cavs Fan Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Jack in the box guy is possibly the coolest thing ever. At Cedar Point, it pops up, lights up, and plays music. It is right in front of Happy Jack's. Does it do all of that stuff at KD?
Pirouettes907 Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Normally I have a hard time getting excited about Halloween stuff at parks, but your as usual entertaining captions really had me laughing and eagerly reading through your TR! Thanks for posting; I enjoyed it ~Megan
KDCOASTERFAN Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Jack in the box guy is possibly the coolest thing ever. At Cedar Point, it pops up, lights up, and plays music. It is right in front of Happy Jack's. Does it do all of that stuff at KD? Yes it sure does.
DBru Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Great PTR, Chuck! Did KD originally have all the 'dead celebrity' scenes like the ones at KI?
Guy T. Koepp Posted October 7, 2009 Posted October 7, 2009 Awesome TR Chuck! No one mixes E. A. Poe and theme parks like you! Guy "Please stop the beating of the old man's heart!" Koepp
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