PTR: Brent's TR's - 2009 TPR Scandinavia Tour

[downunder]

^ that was too great man, as well as your pictures.

 

Thanks.

 

I was also inspired by Tyler's puppet show on the bus, the next psychotic episode, er I mean puppet show was going to be a Q & A with Dick Kinzel but sadly that didn't happen, so I thought I would unleash my own bile duct on the topic.

 

In about an hour, I'll be off the net for 5 days because of sporting commitments, so I'll see you at my next stop - Morey's Piers, the French Riviera of New Jersey.

[bgeguy]

That was too funny, but so true.

[netdvn]

LAWL!

 

That was probably the funniest thing I've read all day. That "interview" reminds me of those Six Flags commercials from the 90s claiming they were better than Disneyland.

[downunder]

LAWL!

 

That was probably the funniest thing I've read all day. That "interview" reminds me of those Six Flags commercials from the 90s claiming they were better than Disneyland.

 

Ironically, I'd rather go to Six Flags than Disney anyday...

 

But before you put the straight jacket on me, I prefer thrill rides than overall park experience anyday. If you put monster coasters on a concrete slab (wait a minute that's Cedar Point), I'll do that over Disney every time.

 

Hopefully, I'll have time to do Morey's Piers tonight.

[Goliath513]

^ Glad to hear I'm not the only one who would prefer a park like Cedar Point or Magic Mountain over Disney. Maybe if Kings Dominion had more than one good coaster, they would be better than Disney in my opinion like they said they are. Better than Disney? Maybe. On par with Busch Gardens? Hell no!

 

 

That interview is still classic. "How'd you get so big, Dick?"

[downunder]

That interview is still classic. "How'd you get so big, Dick?"

 

I'm actually more proud of my answer, it would have been so easy to respond to that question with something obvious like:

 

"Well I got this wonderful pump contraption from sweden when I was young fella" or "I had this special operation in Bangkok" or "The coaster porn on TPR made me grow and grow" or "The aliens from Flight of Fear abducted me and they made it bigger"....

[downunder]

Morey's Piers Part 1

 

I grew up listening to Springsteen, so going to the Jersey shore was something of a romantic (but streetwise) pilgrimage. Well it wasn't quite like the Boss's songs in my mind's eye, - it was more ashphalt, heat, and long stetches of beachy nothing in between piers.

 

If you are looking for high tech marquee rides then forget about Morey's Piers but if you are looking for a fun place full of adventure with lots of nooks and crannies to explore then this is the place to go.

Across the way it didn't get much better, Sea Serpent was no surprise. I made like Charlie Sheen again, had my ride and took off. Next instalment - it's shark time!

That's Jerry Garcia from the Grateful Dead in front of that bus, they couldn't even manage an imitation Johnny Depp. The authentic ghetto vibe of spray painted walls was still preferable to It's A Small World.

The scary part of this was that it implied that I would have to go back and do this ride again.

Imagineers bow down, Jersey theming at it's finest. Well it is on par with Dull Knight at GAdv.

The live actors was some guy in jeans and a t-shirt wandering aimlessly inside. Springsteen's mutant love child with Roseanne Barr? They're keeping quiet about that one.

Incidentally, I hear there was also an amateur all male production filmed on the Thunder bus also called Pirates of Wildwood.

Young Mike, cup the breast and gently caress the nipple. Sex Ed for TPR, that would be about as useful as second hand toilet paper.

Mike "rubbish" Austin shows his experience in this area. For once someone else was screaming "rubbish!"

Other than an incident with a psychotic crackhead puppet, Tony's ass stayed untouched.

You didn't need to drop a slice to get it taken by a seagull, I saw a seagull fly off with a human hand. No hair on the palm so it wasn't a TPR tourist.

Just a Wild Mouse but at least they made it look cute, I really felt like Charlie Sheen at the piers, ride them and take off.

Inside the dungeon there were arguments, something about independent contractors on the death star. The girl in red jumped people at the end with a slow motion tap on the shoulder, my scream was more yawn.

Not to be confused with the classic - Dante's Inferno. This is New Jersey and this is Dante Hick's from Clerks dungeon, so prepare yourself for 3 minutes of whiny, bitchy, smug shop attendants.

The fabled next generation Vekoma restraints, now the SLC is just a boring ride instead of a boring and brain shattering ride.

No Ron Jeremy there either. The SLC teetered on the verge of becoming an inverted aquatrax over the waterslide.

No Ron Jeremy of coaster porn there. I love how you can go under the coaster, this is like looking up skirts to a coaster lover.

The SLC awaited and so did a chance to become a certified coaster porn star in front of the camera of the coaster porn Scorcese - Robbbb Alvey. Though who is the Ron Jeremy of coaster porn?

They even had a sign made up specially for us and gave us heaps of free stuff. I felt like I was Jon Bon Jovi making a triumphant homecoming in all his spandexed and blow dried glory.

Sadly, Bench The Ride was not included in ERT but after a journey of Nay like proportions along the Jersey sea shore, I would be back for a ride on this beauty.

Welcome to the peers. The mention of Xtreme made we wish I was at SFMM doing an NFL wide receiver standard 40 yard sprint for X at opening.

[Speeddeamon128]

Great update again Brent. I really enjoyed the SLC comments.

[downunder]

Great update again Brent. I really enjoyed the SLC comments.

 

Thanks Matt, you've got some good stuff in your home state. I'd be pretty happy if I had El Toro not too far away.

 

You know Clementon is actually better than the only park in Sydney, Clementon is Great Adventure compared to Luna Park Sydney.

[downunder]

More Morey's

 

Coasters at Morey's-

 

Great Nor'easter: the restraints were a big improvements but the jerky Vekoma SLC transitions remain the same, an OK ride.

 

Vekoma Boomerang, Wild Mouse, Galaxi: exactly what you'd expect for these coaster types, unfortunately the Boomerang didn't have the new restraints and if memory serves me right the Galaxi had very unnecessary OTSR's.

 

Flitzer - cute but uninspiring.

 

Great White - ok, nothing mind blowing, passable woodie, I don't recall it being rough.

That red dress looks like something Pamela Anderson would wear to the oscars. I hope she's hosting when she does.

Parking Lot The Ride, extremely aggressive. Why? Petrol had become so expensive that it was cheaper to run cars on Red Bull.

I've heard of one train operation but one lane operation on a slide, even Six Flags in their darkest days wouldn't have dreamed of that. Laura learns a painful lesson in friction.

In the foreground - Eric and Candace, wonderful people and the first people to procreate on a TPR tour. I'm wondering what the child will be called - Toro, Dash, Phoenix or maybe Batwing? In the background, not quite El Toro.

Great White more just Okay White. I would have closed my eyes and pretended it was Phoenix but I hadn't ridden Phoenix yet.

The Vekoma vista in the distance, not as painful as Windows Vista - die Microsoft!

Mike seemed to enjoy getting his arse eaten.

A meeting with a Great White in my country often results in dismemberment, death, or at the very least a soiled swimsuit. I was hoping for better with the Jersey Great White.

A coaster on the beach ain't quite sex on the beach. I just closed my eyes and pretended it was El Toro.

The Great White debate - wood coaster, steel supports and all those Voyage fanboys who complain that El Toro isn't a real wood coaster. More like a mass debate.

A Tale of Two Nuts - the hot and the not.

But do they have Delgrosso's, is there any other sauce? Sadly no.

Alabama has the Crimson Tide and Morey's cess pool had the yellow tide.

More like Wet and Mild. The heat was so bad even being spat on would have been a relief.

"Uh, this is like Florida without MILF's, except me of course".

How sweet, Elissa goes 3gen. "Everybody smile for the coaster creeps".

Douglass Fudge, the Thunder bus were big customers. Dave and Mike Fudge's fortune grew.

Geez, Americans love to pack fudge.

More Jersey class, I was curious as to who Dave's Bitch was, and Adam's Angel, and Jeff's girl - wouldn't he be too busy counting his credits?

The third pier with coasters on it was in another state, it was the credit whore marathon for the Great White encounter.

[YoshiFan]

They have been using just 1 lane on that slide for years. When it has a line, it moves painfully slow. I don't understand why they don't get all the lanes operational especially since it was the original attraction for Morey's.

[downunder]

They have been using just 1 lane on that slide for years. When it has a line, it moves painfully slow. I don't understand why they don't get all the lanes operational especially since it was the original attraction for Morey's.

 

They do that all the time, wow, that's pretty poor. Nostalgia aside, if the slide can't handle more than one person maybe conversion to scrap metal is due. We had to wait in a line, painfully slow.

[downunder]

My Bloody Clementon

 

We came, we rode, we ran for our lives. After dodging lightning at Trevorwood, I mean Waldameer, we didn't push our luck again with the Hell Rabbit ERT.

 

So how was Tsnami, Hellcat, J2 or whatever? It wasn't noticeably rough on our hit and run mission and it wasn't noticeably good either, just another blur in the mediocre coaster file. I hear the new name for the coaster will be Tara and Toni Collette will be there to open it.

 

A special shout out to Matt's Mom, who had dropped by with some printed out group photos from our first meeting at Great Adventure - you rock.

 

On the whole C-ton was a small park where fun can be had but without any outstanding attractions. Better than a carnival or Quassy and on the plus side none of the patrons seemed noticeably scary but it's always the ones you don't suspect that wind up being the worst serial killers.

Save yourselves. Next stop Hershey.

The weather turned coaster creep scary real fast. We took the hint and got the f*** out of Jersey.

Based on earlier reports about the roughness of this coaster I thought that they kept changing the name to get out of lawsuits but all the names are still better than Cedar Fair - Laserwoodhawk anyone?

The park is small but it's still bigger than my homepark but I'm sure the locals are as happy as an ACEr swimming in a lake of gravy.

President of AFE (American Froghopper Enthusiasts), Cutetums, enjoys the carousel.

The Tara coaster, looks good from a distance but the close ups are awful mean, a bit like Tara Reid.

[downunder]

Hersheypark Part 1

 

One of the more anticpated parks of the trip, I think their chocolate sucks but the park doesn't. The coasters:

 

Fahrenheit: a fun coaster but not particularly forceful, back row was best. 7.5/10.

Stormrunner: was a step in the right direction for rocket coasters, best coaster at the park IMO. 8.5/10.

Lightning Racer: very good during the day and excellent at night. 8/10.

Wildcat: very rough during the day but much better at night, not a bad woodie. 6/10.

Comet: a real surprise, only rode this at night, was really smooth, I had a great ride on this woodie. 7/10.

Great Bear: was running really well this day, definitely went up my inverted rankings. 7.5/10.

Superdooperlooper: very much like a mine train with a loop, glass smooth Schwarzkopf, which interacts well with the terrain.

 

I didn't ride the other 4 coasters because I had been once before in 2004, the wildmouse is not bad, boomerang is what you would expect, ok mine train and rollersoaker is the least Dan friendly coaster on earth, be sure to email him about it.

Norwegian loopiness that doesn't involve death metal or a high pitched pop chorus.

I have nothing to say - going down.

It's like Maverick but not as good, a launch into a drop like this is much better.

The Hershey difference, probably any other park wouldn't tell you and or give a fats rat anyway.

Brought to you in not quite SLR blur o vision, man front right arms in air tries to dry himself after a drenching from rollersoaker.

I love how the drop is deeper than the upside, sounds like a lot of relationships.

Into the twisty going around barrel roll thing. Note to self must update coaster vocabulary.

The sexy snake horse fire laser dive, wait a minute Cedar Fair is tomorrow.

The first drop on Great Bear is quite impressive, just watch out for the branches.

Another park, another B & M vertical loop - these things reproduce like rabbits.

Great Bear was quite bearable, the line moved slower than a continent later in the day so it was wise to get in early.

In the distance Lightning Racer is giving me double vision, not quite the twin credit most men covet but a fun ride.

B & M & Schwarzkopf living in perfect harmony like two guys atb one piano singing about racial harmony. Comet in the background waiting to totally surprise me that night.

Stormrunner looking faded but still sexy, the flying snake horse dive stirred many a trouser on the Lightning bus.

This coaster just wouldn't have worked downunder, "Celcius" anyone?

Bruce was coming, but not soon enough. TPR didn't quite excite the masses as much as the Boss.

[FitchCoaster]

Great Bear was quite bearable, the line moved slower than a continent later in the day so it was wise to get in early.

 

This made me smile after reading that, whether you meant to do that or not. Hahaha.

 

Anyways,

Loved the photos! Great TR. It looks like a great park with a nice balance between coasters and atmosphere. Makes me want to visit this park even more.

 

Something I think is really awesome is the "One train operating at this time" sign. I didn't know Hershey did that. That's something that would come to great use in every park. I can't count the number of times I've waited in a line, only to be stuck in an hour wait after later realizing that only one train is running.

[krazekiddd]

You know, as much as I wanted to go to this park, I just didn't quite get it. It was okay and all, but I felt rather 'meh' about it.

 

However, the chocolate tour was my favorite thing. Singing diva cows ftw.

[Speeddeamon128]

My Bloody Clementon

 

We came, we rode, we ran for our lives. After dodging lightning at Trevorwood, I mean Waldameer, we didn't push our luck again with the Hell Rabbit ERT.

 

So how was Tsnami, Hellcat, J2 or whatever? It wasn't noticeably rough on our hit and run mission and it wasn't noticeably good either, just another blur in the mediocre coaster file. I hear the new name for the coaster will be Tara and Toni Collette will be there to open it.

 

A special shout out to Matt's Mom, who had dropped by with some printed out group photos from our first meeting at Great Adventure - you rock.

 

On the whole C-ton was a small park where fun can be had but without any outstanding attractions. Better than a carnival or Quassy and on the plus side none of the patrons seemed noticeably scary but it's always the ones you don't suspect that wind up being the worst serial killers.

 

Thanks Brent I'll give her the shout out. Anyway great update once again. I've lived in Clementon for 18 years & don't ever remember a storm as frightening as that I wish we could have passed my house but my house is on the road parallel to the road we were on.

[John Peck]

When you took the picture at Clementon of the dark clouds from the storm, what time was that? Was that before it hit? That looks terrifying! Where did you go during it?

 

I've been in a handful of bad storms at parks, but none that ever looked like that!

[downunder]

You know, as much as I wanted to go to this park, I just didn't quite get it. It was okay and all, but I felt rather 'meh' about it.

 

However, the chocolate tour was my favorite thing. Singing diva cows ftw.

 

I agree with you there Scott, it's a nice park with some pretty good coasters but not that one (or more) special coaster that makes me want to go there a lot. What I mean by that is something like a Superman Ride Of Steel, El Toro, Boulder Dash, Phoenix, or X (yes, I really like X).

 

I have a view on the chocolate tour which I will get to in part 2.

 

John Peck wrote:

 

When you took the picture at Clementon of the dark clouds from the storm, what time was that? Was that before it hit? That looks terrifying! Where did you go during it?

 

I've been in a handful of bad storms at parks, but none that ever looked like that!

 

I think it was between 8pm and 9pm before it hit. I have to admit I've had plenty of experiences like that on TPR tours.

 

Tony, of Tony and Tyler fame had two words for me when a massive black cloud bank descended on Cedar Point while waiting for Maverick to open - "save yourself".

 

We also had half an ERT session on Ravine Flyer II, that should have been called the Ride The Lightning session.

 

And then there was the storm at Mt Olympus which killed our night ERT on Hades, and almost killed our next day ERT on Avalanche because it had been struck by lightning which fried the electricals.

[downunder]

Great Bear was quite bearable, the line moved slower than a continent later in the day so it was wise to get in early.

 

This made me smile after reading that, whether you meant to do that or not. Hahaha.

 

Anyways,

Loved the photos! Great TR. It looks like a great park with a nice balance between coasters and atmosphere. Makes me want to visit this park even more.

 

Something I think is really awesome is the "One train operating at this time" sign. I didn't know Hershey did that. That's something that would come to great use in every park. I can't count the number of times I've waited in a line, only to be stuck in an hour wait after later realizing that only one train is running.

 

Hershey is a nice park as long you aren't expecting coasters that would make the top ten in coaster polls (but are still pretty good).

 

I think a Megalite would go really well at Hershey (like I do at every park that doesn't have one), a Maverick style coaster would be good too but that is too similar to Fahrenheit.

[stingrock23]

I definitely wasn't blown away by Stormrunner like I thought I would be, like the park overall, but the Lightning Racer ERT was a blast. Nothing like a train full of TPR members flipping off the other train.

[rollin_n_coastin]

Brent,

 

Great TR, I’m definitely looking forward to DVD more than ever now.

 

It’s funny, family in Europe beg for me to bring over Hershey chocolate, something about the American chocolate taste? I dunno. I guess when you don’t have something as readily available, it becomes desirable. I would still rate Hershey as one of the top American chocolates as opposed to say, some of the seasonal candy companies currently laying sub-par Easter Eggs all over the continent.

 

I just loved how the ride ops and staff at Clementon would cut in front of everyone and take the best seats on the flat rides before letting everyone else on. What gives? Hellcat (name?) was a blur but it was fast and fun, same with running to the bus. Was that the night when we hit that insane traffic? The park did have charm, even the accurately themed lake water log flume…..just close your mouth on that one. lol

 

Not sure what to think of Hershey other than I remember it being insanely busy and each line being slower than waiting for oil paint to dry. The only ride that was down I think was the mine train. That amazing bbq place was next to it, what an awesome smell. The coasters though were all a lot of fun, definitely a well-rounded park. That was my first non-portable Schwarzkopf and I can’t wait to ride another one I guess in Georgia, Texas or Edmonton? I assume we’ll have some on Scandi? Oh, you’re right about the roller soaker thing, but a few of us had a blast staying dry and taking over the water cannons. You can time and fire them just so that they hit right under everyone’s ponchos……

 

Can’t wait to see the rest man. Cheers, J

[downunder]

^Thanks Jason.

 

Chocolate in Australia is so much better than Hershey's and there's much more variety. Better still there is a Lindt chocolate cafe just across the road from where I work.

 

Hershey seems to have a Microsoft like hold on the chocolate business in the US, they'd never make it down here, we don't eat s*** like that, we know better.

[downunder]

Hersheypark Part 2

 

Like many repliers have been saying, the lines did move rather slowly, Great Bear took forever. Other than Great Bear, I didn't ride too much during the day after ERT on Storm Runner and Fahrenheit - I think just Lightning Racer and Wildcat.

 

Then off to Chocolate World, and the ride. All I can say is that the chocolate ride is the chocolate equivalent of a Borg assimilation. That song, they kept playing the whole way through, that lame ass song. I wanted to do shock treatment with the bus's jumper leads just to make it stop. But even after all that, I still think Hershey chocolate blows, and not in a good way.

 

Hershey Chocolate definitely isn't worth the weight.

 

After dinner, went on Superdooperlooper and Comet, which was pretty damn good at night. Then onto ERT, Grizzly was much better at night and Lightning Racer was a sensational ERT session.

 

On the whole a great day at Hershey but it is wise to go there when it is a bit quieter.

 

Next stop: Doiney Pawk

The moon rose on Hershey and the craziness continued at Lightning Racer until pumpkin time.

Fahrenheit Ride Of Little Airtime, it looks so good but the real airtime is still further north.

Ahhh, Fahrenheit Ride Of Temperature, it's a shame SROS @ SFNE didn't retain these colours, now it looks like a nerd's colour co-ordination nightmare.

GJ shows how to move up in TPR, smooch that bear ass Jersey boy!

Stop - do not proceed. The fine print said hide the sign from Dan and invite him up and hold him against the rails.

Somehow we managed to get lost on the way to Wildcat catering - grilled salmon, seared vegetables & chardonnay for Theme Posh Review.

The chocolate axis of evil - Gabby, Harmony and Olympia. Damn you, bovine prophets of false chocolate.

Hershey's way of saying that Dan is not welcome at their park. Hershey has a formidable array of rides that achieve wetness and that's not including the kissing tower.

It was scary what some on the Thunder bus had in mind for those track lubricants, the Lightning bus on the other hand was a bit more predictable.

The ducks waited to do a Fabio on unsuspecting celebs on Stormrunner, business was slow today. They mistook one TPR tourist for Screech from Saved By The Bell but he managed to duck (no pun intended).

This looks like a former winner of the Darwin awards or a Dr Kervorkian coaster design but it was twins of pleasure for the TPR coaster marathon whores.

Thunder and Lightning would have a mighty clash later that night, everyone's middle fingers were quite stiff after the ERT session as the riders in each train hurled hand gestures at each other with every pass.

If this coaster had been in Europe, they probably wouldn't have just looked like they just had sex in the front row.

I believe this was GCI's cherry popper coaster, correct if I'm wrong not so cherry popped masses of TPR.

I think it was more Mildcat catering for the TPR "badasses".

[Speeddeamon128]

Great Hershey update Brent! That Lightning Racer Ert was one of my favorite Ert sessions of the trip.