cfc Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 It was coming up on Labor Day Weekend, and Larry, to his shock, discovered that he hadn't planned his usual holiday theme-park excursion. Being as Williamsburg was about halfway between Staten Island, NY, and Myrtle Beach, SC, the answer was obvious--come down to may place on Friday and leave early on Saturday for Hard Rock Park (HRP). And how was business at HRP on a Labor Day Weekend Saturday? Well, the place had enough people to seem lively, but not as much as you'd expect over a holiday. Look at it this way: We never had to wait more than ten or fifteen minutes for any ride, and that was with two major rides being closed (Maximum RPM, the coaster with the Ferris wheel lift, and Slippery When Wet, the park's Roller Soaker). But what about the park? We liked the place and had a very good time there. Even though the coasters themselves are not exactly "top-10" material, they're fun, and I liked the atmosphere of the place quite a bit (the British Invasion section was particularly well done). For my money, the park's signature attraction is Nights in White Satin: The Trip, a 3D dark ride with fairly low-tech effects, for the most part, but a cool "vibe." It makes no sense at all as your cruise through rooms of flowing white satin curtains, spinning icons, and trippy projections while listening to bombastic music and pretentions hippy poetry. There really isn't another ride quite like it. As for the coasters we were able to ride, here's how they stack up. Led Zeppelin: The Ride--Aw, such a cute little B&M! This isn't a great ride (it's actually a bit rough for a new B&M), but it's very good, and I think "Whole Lotta Love" works pretty well as a soundtrack. The "preshows" can get a bit tiresome, though. I noticed a few people griping about them. Still, there's a bit of air on it, and it's pretty bizarre to think that there's a ride themed to Robert Plant's multiple orgasms. By the way, the ride is located in the park's Rock 'n' Roll Heaven section, which is dedicated to dead rock and country stars. (I think half of Zep is still alive, though.) Eagles: Life on the Fast Lane--OK, I realize that this was supposed to be "Midnight Rider" originally, and that a southern rock band like the Allmans would make more sense in the park's Cool Country section. The Eagles are a "countryish" band, but why did they use one of their more rocking, less country-like, songs? I guess "Peaceful Easy Feeling" wouldn't go well with a coaster--especially one that ends with an explosion. Oh, the ride? It's OK--better at night than during the day. Shake, Rattle, and Roller Coaster--I agree with what some other TPR members have said: HRP's Born in the USA section looks like an afterthought. This Roller Skater has a bizarre beach theme that makes no sense at all. We even caught a few shows. The Roadies Stunt Show was fun, and this Polish guy named Lukas had pretty good fire-juggling and sword-swallowing act in the Phonehenge amphitheatre. We even sat through Country on the Rocks, the park's ice show, and even though we both dislike such productions, this one wasn't bad. Perhaps building it around a night at a roadhouse full of hot country chicks, Uncle Jack, and Jose Cuervo made the difference. The "Bohemian Rhapsody" pyro show in the evening was modest, but fun--a good way to end the day. We thought the food there was pretty good, as well. They actually have a wide variety of offerings, such as bangers-and-mash, coconut shrimp, and Tex-Mex and southern BBQ. Here are the pictures. But first, a stop at Family Kingdom. Hmm--I'd always wondered about dolphins. HRP is next. One last look at Family Kingdom. You've heard of "parking-lot coasters"? Well, this was sort of a "parking-lot park." "Ay carumba! It is Chuck and Larry! We give up!" Got the senorita's dress to drop, too. Yee haw! Larry sure got the drop on that fire extinguisher. Hmm--I do believe I see a "dangerouso pistolero." Lock 'n' load, Larry! We're goin' in! "Ay, yi, yi, amigos! I have grown too fat to fit in my own ride vehicle! I need you to take out these dangerouso pistoleros!" Some days, ya just gotta shoot something. As you can see, I am one bad, desperate hombre! Yes, that water sure looks inviting on this hot, humid day--if you're a species of algae, at least. Behold the splendor of Family Kingdom! Best ride it in the front, though. It does have some rather abrupt, painful ejector air. Hmm--I pretty sure that Swamp Fox won't be hitting my top 10 this year, much less position 8. "We're number 8! We're number 8!" "Welcome to Family Kingdom! Have a good time, but remember--I, the Evil Family King, am watching your every move!"
Big Mike Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Awesome trip report so far! Any time you go on a trip with Larry and Larry is not in one picture, thats a successful trip report to me! Peace, Big Mike
TheRapidsNerd Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Larry sure got the drop on that fire extinguisher. That one may wind up in the sig. More importantly, a cool start to the TR and looking forward to the rest.
cfc Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Rockin' down the highway (501, to be precise) to Hard Rock Park. Lady Liberty is so ready to do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight. More to come from HRP. Or you can play a rousing round of hopscotch. You can check out the majesty of Mt. Splitsmore. And what can one do in Splitsville? Well, there is this ride. . . . Drooper, and Snork!" If this is Banana Splitsville, where's "Danger Island"? "Flipping like a pancake! Popping up your cork! Fleegle, Bingo . . . Nah. I don't get it, either. A pier? Ok. Hmm--I guess this is what happens when you reach the end of the "fast lane." You crash and burn! You know, I bet these folks throw outrageous parties and pay heavenly bills. And when I think of the Hollywood life style this song is about, tractors always come to mind. (Huh?) . . . a-a-a-a-ane!" "Life in the fast la-a-a-a-a . . . Hmm--must be one of them newfangled wheelchair seats. Let's see . . . E-A-G . . . oh, I see it now. This is the first time I've encountered a ride with a "no chewing" rule. As we all know, random chewing can cause "serious injury." Plus, the ride doesn't come equipped with a spitoon. I guess this is for people who really dislike the Eagles' music. I fell compelled to ask this: Do Vekoma mine trains have a "fast lane," and if so, what would life be like in it? First stop, Cool Country. Not my favorite genre, but OK. A number of people have remarked that HRP's look reminds them a bit of IOA. Well, to the extent that the park surrounds a lake, I guess that's so. OK, why are we not surprised? Hmm--I wonder if Courtney Love gets a nickel for each time someone reads this. Join us, won't you? Here's the view from the Holiday Inn, which is roughly (very roughly) a half-mile walk from the park.
cfc Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Don't worry, Mike--you'll get to see Larry soon. Fire makes more sense here than at the mine-train coaster. More to come later--it's getting late. I'm sure that Spinal Tap is taking notes. "Bloody hell! We gotta get a flying loo!" . . . a hot chick, and . . . well, we don't need to go any further. . . . this guy . . . And now the real show starring that guy, . . . . . . a heavy-metal bear act! All he needs is a rocket launcher! Yeah, Larry is psyched, baby! After all, the show features . . . The Roadies Stunt Show was pretty good. Sort of a cockney redneck "Cirque de Soleil." "Danger! Danger! Will Robinson has the munchies! Danger!" "Did you 'breathe deep the gathering gloom'? Better have! I got my eye on you!" Whew! That's better! Aghh! It's happening again! "OK, you mellow now, dude? Then you may pass." Oo-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m! Mellow! "I'm Sir Paisley of Castle Warhol!" You need to mellow out, man!" Oops! I definitely got the "bad"! Did you get the "good" or "bad" acid, Larry? And now, a tribute to LSD and bad poetry. I like the "Austin Powers" vibe of the British Invasion section.
sccoasterfan Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Ok I am goign to tell you why the no chewing rule is up now. Me and some of my friends had Grizzly Long Cut Wintergreen in our mouths one day and got sick all over the exit platorm of Led Zepplin and my friend Luke did the same thing on Eagles after that little drop before the fireball. So ater that they decided to put a sign up saying it. I swear this is the truth. It happened in April when we all bought our annual passes and the park was open for Sound Check.
cfc Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 ^Remind to never sit behind you at any "chewing allowed" park. I like the zep trains. Gotta go--I'll post the rest tonight. Into the world's largest lead balloon--a "lead zeppelin," as it were. You sunk my battleship! Yes, nothing says "rock and roll" like standing on your assigned number. Nope. But they don't seem to have much use for the enormous queue. The station is very nicely themed. . . . and ride on the screaming orgasms of Robert Plant. Off to the Rock and Roll Heaven section, where you can play a tinkly water guitar . . . There were two guys engaged in random kite flying out in the park's lagoon. Maybe this is for "the benefit of Mr. Kite"? I am well aware that everybody takes this picture, but, hey, I like this album. . . . complete with Carnaby Street cuties and some dude in a faux fur vest. Hey, I think there's a "Happening" going on . . . "Chuck, you wanna ride the spinning ride? Are you still stoned?" (I did have to grab a Sierra Mist after riding this thing--once was enough.) Hmm--a taxi-cab breakdance. I guess I can deal with that. (Actually, the worst part was waiting for the cars to stop rocking back and forth when the ride ended.)
mcjaco Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 ^ Ahhh, you left us hanging! Hey, hey what can you do? Perhaps, Ramble On? Maybe take a walk to the Misty Mountain Top? Watch the park flood When the Levee Breaks? Then just be A Fool in the Rain? Hmmmm, hmmmm? Ugh. That was bad.
mcjaco Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 ^ Most likely a "Communication Breakdown," after a few beers.
cfc Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Ah, you're both just dazed and confused.
jedimaster1227 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Hmm--must be one of them newfangled wheelchair seats. Not my proudest moment... Not at all...
cfc Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 More of the park that "has a good beat . . . you can dance to." Good night, Hard Rock Park. We had a good time and you have potential--good luck. I wonder if Michael Jackson gets a nickel everytime somebody reads this. Larry is all set for Atlantic City! Look out, ladies--a highroller is in town! "Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here!" Come to think of it, it is closing time. "Mama Mia, let me go!" "Mama, just killed a man . . ." Now that's a cheery way to start a theme-park pyro show. I confront my formative decade . . . aw, crap! OK, that's enough--party on! Looks like KC and the Sunshine Band pulled in a good-sized crowd. A moment of silence for fallen rock stars. You know, I'd pick up an air guitar and play, but I never learned. Sorry. Here's the "Main Street" of the park. And now, the charm of HRP after dark, when bulls with teats can spurt and fart with abandon! "So, ya spin, and ya get high! Yeah, I get it." Shrooms, anyone? Druid dietary choices may have had something to do with it, too. Fiery gas and indigestion were commonplace among these ancient people. Here we see a demonstration of a Druid mating ritual, which rather explains why the race mysteriously died out. I had no idea that HRP would be so educational. The Druids not only invented the phone booth, but also figured out how to stack them! And that was before telephones! Amazing! "Phonehenge! Where the demons dwell! Where the banshees live, and they do live well." "Dumdum-de-dum-dum! Dum! Dum! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!" Repeat. . . . l-o-o-o-o-o-o-v-v-v-v-ve!" "Wa-a-ay down insi-i-i-de! Woman! You ne-e-e-e-e-ed . . .
larrygator Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 I only paid $32 for that shirt, they gave me the 40% discount. However, it cost me $1,600 in Atlantic City. It is not a lucky shirt. So much for all my winnings over the past 3 weekends.
cfc Posted September 3, 2008 Author Posted September 3, 2008 ^But at least you looked "cool" while you were losing it.
niiicolaaah Posted September 3, 2008 Posted September 3, 2008 Mmmm..... Robert Plant. Oh and you know "Nights in White Satin" is the best ride in the park. I say give HRP 6 or 7 years to grow and mature, and it will be a good park. At the moment there is not enough to do to fill up a whole day, especially with 2 of the 5 coasters down and the best coaster having a 5 minute pre-show.
cfc Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 Oh and you know "Nights in White Satin" is the best ride in the park. Strangely enough, I think it is--unique, in any case. How many theme parks actually celebrate LSD trips? The park's greatest strength at the moment is its atmosphere, and I think you're right about it needing more time to "mature." The potential is there, if the place survives.
dandaman Posted September 4, 2008 Posted September 4, 2008 Larry looks really unsure about wearing that particular leopard-print article of clothing. A Chuck TR never fails to make me laugh. (Or cry. From laughing, of course.)
TheRapidsNerd Posted September 5, 2008 Posted September 5, 2008 Ah, you're both just dazed and confused. (shakes head) Oh the punishment.... I like the leopard shirt. If it was long sleeve, I'd wear it. Quote: Hmm--must be one of them newfangled wheelchair seats. Not my proudest moment... Not at all... Hmm...inside joke perhaps along the same lines of "Is that a real space shuttle?" Bet either one is a good story if anyone cares to tell. If not, no worries, eh? A Chuck TR is always a winner. 'Nuff said.
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