dandaman

Well, since everyone's talking about it, I think it's time to pull out my official guide to drinking Beverly. Step 3: Let the bitter and cruel realization hit you. Congratulations; you've just experienced liquid failure in a cup. Step 2: Take a moment to swish the beverage around in your mouth, much like a wine tasting. This will give you time to falsely conclude that said beverage isn't all that bad. Step 1: Neatly prepare will, then stare directly into the camera with absolute fear before sampling.

New favourite local: Pequod's in Skokie, just north of downtown Chicago. I have Cameron to thank for that last week; the place is smaller than the BAR next to it, and is practically in the middle of a wooded neighbourhood. That said, best deep-dish I've ever had. (Con to that is now I have a craving for it, sitting here six hours away and with my wisdom teeth freshly out. Damn.)

Waffle House? Orange-scented t-shirts? Green apple soda that someone still makes?! You haven't visited a single damn amusement park and you've already made me regret being not aggressive enough in asking to go on this trip.

^Was that the crew-shirt story, or the one with your ride-op friend's slip of the tongue? Either way, hilarious! And sorry you didn't have as much fun as we did on Monday, but let's face it, that's gonna be extremely hard to beat. P.S. Funny you should mention the trees on the train... I got thwopped in the chin by a branch when I was talking to Cameron mid-sentence!

From what I recall, one of Robb's main goals is keeping TPR ad- and paid membership-free. Personally I would pay whatever amount the man would want under six figures if it would come to that, but the store and the trips seem to do a good job of offsetting the costs. Forgive me for being so bold, but how much of a trip payment from any TPR member would go back into the site, after actual "at-store" cost of park admission, transportation, plus the extras like goodie bags and trip DVD's?

See, I just bought a new laptop a few weeks ago and it mentioned something about that Lightscribe technology... haven't used it yet, but that's what I was picturing when I thought of the direct-DVD labelling.

To be honest, I haven't even felt nauseous once yet (and I'm taking an ibuprofen-Percocet-amoxicillin cocktail), and when I say "lucid", I'm actually not all that tired. Heck, I slept through all last night and was awake all day yesterday minus that 2-hour nap immediately after the surgery! Dan "So far I've been eating pudding and instant mashed potatoes, which i love anyway!" Smith

Really great news to hear, Doug. And I actually was on the lookout for all of the cell-phone employees at SF and again didn't find a single one. Interesting about CP's pocket check though, because now that I recall, employees on cell phones really ARE things I've never seen at Cedar Point! Dan "And that's important!" Smith

Nope, that was earlier. (Sorry, but it was.) Lesson learned there is to have someone pick up whatever pain meds you're prescribed IMMEDIATELY after your surgery is done; my mom took 2 hours at the drug store waiting for the Percocet and amoxicillin. After that I had aforementioned nap and logged on to TPR lucid as a hippie.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about when I reference the "Eagle Eye/I'm A Champion" scene from Robot Chicken? 'Cause that's the only thing I can think of besides checking my caps lock doesn't stick.

Well, it happened. Surgery took approximately an hour this morning. Started by giving me a little bit of laughing gas, which didn't seem to do anything to me in my opinion. It was when they gave me the I.V. for general anesthetic that I was out in under 5 minutes. Woke up about an hour later with some gauze firmly packed where my 4 wisdom teeth had been removed. Apparently halfway through the doctor had to remove his shirt because the last two were extremely difficult and he was sweating so much. (Funny... I just realized now that I never saw him either before or after and never got to thank him for performing the surgery!) Got home and the bleeding took a LONG time to stop... might still be now, I'm not sure. I've been changing the gauze rolls every half-hour or so, with Amoxicillin and Percocet every 4-6 hours. Couldn't get to sleep at first as the numbness started being replaced with pain. I think the worst part so far was the fact that it felt like I had to swallow or spit when I had that much blood, and I a) wasn't allowed to spit for possible reopening of the clot) and b) felt like I was choking a little when I tried swallowing. (There's a T.W.S.S. joke in there somewhere, I'm sure.) Anyway, if it's any indication, the pain is surprisingly low at the moment, I just ate some pudding, had a nice nap for 2 hours and the surgery was only about 9 hours ago as of this writing... so, Natalie (and others reading), you really don't have a lot to worry about. I'll try updating daily on my condition. Dan "The hardest part personally will be no solid foods for at least a week =(" Smith

1) For the record, I started having fun maybe right around Steak 'n Shake in Michigan, but surely as soon as we both stepped out of our cars and greeted each other with Tim Tams. 2) I forgot about that one! Was that at American Eagle? ^Perhaps I was a little too harsh on CP. I have seen Raptor and TTD open up after being down for the first 7 hours or so before (not to mention EXTREMELY enthusiastic night crews on Raptor, MF and Gemini), but the many other times I've went (compared to this one visit to SFGAm) it just came off that the ops or maintenance crews didn't care all that much if the ride opened later on if they were already 6 or 7 hours after opening. Again, probably unfair, but it's just from personal experience. Plus the company's over-strict rain policy still irks me. I've not really gotten the same positive "vibe" from CP employees in the past couple years as I had in the years before that, but when I visited Six Flags -- the chain which everyone seemed to bash for poor management -- it just floored me that everyone was so nice, helpful and loving their job. I'm a pretty friendly person, so if someone makes eye contact with me I say hello; at CP in the past couple visits I've frequently gotten sort of shrugs or odd looks back. At SFGAm, not only did everyone say hi to me when they made eye contact, but I had six custodians at the end of the night alone, from the back of the park to the entrance, wish me a great night with no prompting. As I work in a service job, that kind of attention just really made my day and kept up a positive atmosphere throughout. Dan "It's not that I hate CP, it's that I was REALLY impressed with SFGAm!" Smith

Forgive my electronic ignorance, but how exactly do you get the labels directly onto the DVD's? I've heard terms tossed around like "writable DVD labels", and the TPR discs don't look like a sticker's been applied, so I was wondering if that's the case.

I'm pretty sure it isn't. You and Cameron got off the Scrambler just after I took this shot. And you're going AGAIN?! Ride Whizzer multiple times for me!

Part III: Return of the Old-Guy And an entrance plaza night shot to leave you all with tonight. A huge colossal thank-you to Cameron for driving/gaming/pizza-ing, Jo for the free ticket, and Nathan for rounding out our legendary one-day crew. 'Till next time, TPR... You only need one flag to have fun! (Five others would be nice, too, though.) V2 vertical spike action ...To "switch direction!", these ride ops totally made my night... and I wasn't even riding! So Revolution was not only great for night shots, but was the final place for "Things I've Never Seen At CP". I'd just gotten a prime set-up spot for level photographing when I realized that it had already been the final ride cycle of the night. The the ride op comes on... "All right, guys, that was the last ride of the night, and there's no one else in line... who wants to ride again?" Well, everything from "switch seats" to "I say Revo, you say Lution!"... Ricochet looked really cool at night. This is the Expedia. Wait... I've always wondered what succotash is, and why it's sufferin'... The ever-elusive SFGAm Jeff Johnson credit. "I still remember what you did to me in the fountain, Robb!" Caught only the second half of the night parade, which makes me very angry. (Not really.) ZOMG insanity! Better... Good... None of us could figure out why this possible horse had three ears. Or horns. Or maybe a tumour. This is the Orbit. It orbits fast. But Orbitz.com lets you orbit the world even faster! (I demand royalties.) Any ride with the work "elixir" in the sign is all right in my book. Upskirt ACEr porn quota: met. Smile, smile, smile... and then there's Nathan. Bull at dusk > normal sex Jo forgot to shave her mustache this morning. (Toldja I'd post it!) No Raw Thrills games? I call B.S. Went back for a second ride on Eagle. Still astoundingly great with nonstop airtime coming up over those hills. Blurry rodent love for Elissa. Decided to be naughty and touch one of Batman's sexy legs. SUPPORTS! I meant supports. What's this, you may ask? Well, this is the Flash Pass line for Batman just after we did it in the rear a second time, the same line which we walked right through and waited maybe two trains max to get on. I honestly don't think there was anything today that DIDN'T work out perfectly. Then I apparently had an itchy trigger-finger and got this, too. Well, first I got this shot with the Mardi Gras-themed spinning tugboat ride thing in the way... Oddly, the only pic I got on The Dark Knight... meh. It was all right, I guess. Liked the little effects they had. Park index love The back of the Batmobile symbolizes our doing Batman in the rear. (Does that make us Robin?) ...And right about THERE is where I grayed out. This thing is a lot more forceful than I expected... one element right after the other, never letting up the pace. Barbed-wire over the track? I feel sorry for the front row. Especially 'cause they didn't get to do Batman in the rear! No, Cameron! No fisticuffs with the surprisingly-muscular Public Works guy! We have seen the light... and it is Batman being opened after 99% of hope seemed lost. Rule #1 of coaster shots: wait for a train. (Still well-framed though.) Well, technically not YET, but we waited less than 10 minutes in the regular non-Flash Pass-having public throng before we did Batman in the rear! IT IS! Batman: The First-Ever-Inverted-Coaster Ride is OPEN!!! (Chalk another one up for "You Can't Do That At CP": open a ride, previously down all day, at 6 p.m.) Wait! Is that...? The four of us really challenged this title with all of our innuendo. (I'd like to be in-HER-endo. Amiright, fellas?) "Hmm... do I like this ride?" Yes, young woman from scene 24. Yes, you do. Never been on a racing woodie before. (Not counting Gemini. Why? Ask any easily-pissed-off CP factchecker!) MORE FLAG! MORE FUN! HULK SMASH! ARMY STRONG! Somewhat artsy. But mostly not. Hand-carved authoritative goodness. No trains in one shot! So American Eagle was basically the best wooden coaster I've ever ridden. The hills are great and remarkably smooth compared to the other woodies in my repertoire, but that double-tracked helix is just pure architectural awesome. Wait, are they appendages or a form of disease? If they're heading back from a place WITH something, my first two locations still stand. UMMMMM... If Wiggles are what I think they are, the answer is a strip club. Or Singapore. Is that a REAL moon lander? Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing, either.

My pole is awesome, but Cameron's Czech is better.

^^Appeal between species is always a good demographic to have. And sorry for trying (and succeeding?) to hit you with the water cannon; couldn't resist putting my camera at risk for going on the fritz. Great pics you took, too! ^He's already a member of the Commonwealth, so it's a natural title to have.

^In that case, ladies are more than welcome to guess... except "Sexy". And apparently this is why 80% of amusement park locomotives have the aforementioned name on the tender: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collis_Potter_Huntington

Funny, soon as I posted the Fiddler's Fling pics, I heard Fiddler on the Roof playing in my parents' room. Oh, and I think we've been able to ride Bull for many, many hours now. Still nice to have the option.

Part II (The one with the sports almanac) And finally for this update, which one of these is Cameron's car? If you know, E-MAIL DAN! Or don't. I have nothing to give you. I really want to finish this before I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning and my captions would become even more rambling and incoherent thanks to the happy-sleep drugs. Cross your fingers this will be finished by later tonight. Only the most gifted horticulturalists can train flowers to grow into patterns by verbal command. Batman still looks amazingly intense for such a short ride! This could be improved if everyone were given free Mardi Gras beads to throw at everyone. Or free Pat O'Brien Hurricanes. A distant shot of the fellatious beast! (Don't ask.) Did I mention how much I love the entrance plaza? *whizz* *whizz* *whizz* *whizz* *whizz* Viper is cool. Like lemon Chill. And that's important! Can I patent a Mario Kart attraction where you get to throw fake banana peels and giant tortoise shells strapped to rollerboards at other drivers? Pretty please? Damn you, crazy pretzel loop! Coasters shouldn't be able to do that! (Love the colour scheme though; watched WAY too much Thomas the Tank Engine as a kid.) Continuing our phallic-object countdown, Sky Trek was great for photo ops. (And unlike CP's Space Spiral, you can actually TAKE PHOTOS. Six Flags 128, Cedar Fair 0.) Is that a REAL space shuttle? One of my goals today was to get a picture with Mr. Six, and lo and behold he was walking right beside me having a drink of water! Took me many seconds before I even noticed. Awesome. (Can you tell I was having the time of my life today?) Superman: Sponsored by truth, justice and the American way; scored by John Williams. Superman was my first flyer, and I found it to be pretty good, but not an immediate re-ride. The pretzel loop might be one of the most intense sections of a coaster I've ever experienced, but the rest of it was quite relaxing and fun. This is what this section of SFGAm looks like if it actually looked like the park map. You'd think park management would make their 2010 blueprints a little more hidden... A Ragin' Cajun photo I forgot yesterday. "You're not taking any more pictures of me, are you?" Noooo... Hairtime! Considering I have a horrible trigger finger under motionless circumstances, these turned out quite decently. Since I was still a little loopy from Triple Play, I went to buy some Dippin' Dots halfway across the park (not my fault!) and came back to take some pics of Cam and Nathan on Fiddler's Fling. "Hey Cameron, put this blue hat on." "No... all right, fine." "Now put the whale on so it looks like an ocean." "No... all right, fine." "Now let's take a picture." "Absolutely not." *CLICK* There is no experience quite like four adults, each with the maturity of a 12-year-old, riding single-file on a log flume. Logger's Run even aside from the hilarity was pretty good; I loved how it intertwined completely with Yankee Clipper. (The main drop of that one is also pictured going right through LR's!) Some lift-hill through-the-trees voyeur action for Jahan. Demon action. Unfortunately since we used the Flash Pass we didn't get to choose what I am told is GREAT ejector air in the back seat. Still a very fun Arrow looper though. "Buccaneer Battle gets me all excited and wet!" OK, so I had no idea this was taken until after the ride. Earlier in the day we saw a rather sizable lady with a t-shirt on which proudly (and erroneously) declared her as "Sexy". As such, for the remainder of the day, we made a "Sexy Countdown" of GP while trying to search for Subject Zero again. Highlights included a grown man using Heeleez and a guy with a curly white villain mustache which can only be described as entrancing. For the record, photo credit for this goes 100% to Cameron! "Once this baby hits 88 gallons an hour... you're gonna see some serious s**t." (Seriously, though, what am I doing? Checking my invisible watch?) Cameron fired at us from two different positions on the midway; I had no idea he'd moved to the second spot until I got shot right in the face! It looks like I simultaneously jizzed in my pants and applied war paint. I was THAT into it. "Isn't Jo holding your camera?" "Aye, lad, but take 'er down with cannonshot anyway!" Honestly, this is SUCH a fun ride! You get to shoot at other people in line, on the midway, targets, other boats, and they all shoot back! I was soaked to the bone in the first five seconds and I loved every moment of it. Hoist yer peg-legs and eyepatches, ye lily-livered bilgerats! It's time for the best water attraction this side of Davy Jones' Locker! This creepiness still doesn't beat Iron Mayo on the WTF scale. Yep... still love how beautiful the park is! If everyone could either use their imagination or Photoshop a train in, it'll make this report go by a lot faster. This is the part of the trip report where I fail at getting a signature Demon shot. Why does it have a bucket on top? Why not? They really went all out with Buccaneer Battle advertising this year. GARR! Railroad goodness. This might have been the only ride available on the Flash Pass that we didn't ride. Random far-away photo. Batman's still closed but looks insane even without trains running. Still, besides the diesel fumes, this would be my top pick for a job at the park. Kinda wish it was a REAL steam train though... none of that diesel crap... I half-expected it to read C.P. Huntington on the tender. (Does anyone besides me understand that? Sorry.) After Whizzer (and an ill-advised ride on Triple Play... ugh...) I got to let my inner rail enthusiast out with a round-trip ride. ...Oh, come on, at least SOMEONE smile! I have no idea why I love it so much... I just do! This would only be my second Schwarzkopf coaster credit, but it's so awesome in a weird vintage sort of way. It's a perfect family coaster, and one that I would ride many times over. (It also surprised me how freakin' low to the ground it got during the helix!) It's WHIZZER TIME! Aunt Martha's was our lunch stop. The chicken fingers were kinda cold, but the mac 'n cheese and mashed taters 'n gravy (no buffet) were pretty good! We also happened to have reserved a ride on the Pass close to the restaurant. You know what that means... Theme park revelation #64: Wooden coasters are actually allowed to have airtime and not kill you. Viper was really fun, though Cameron and Nathan assure me it was the worst ride on it they've ever had! (This had actually been my favourite wood coaster for all of 6 hours before we rode the wond'rous, thund'rous American Eagle!)

Will Elissa Bingo be replaced by Sexy Countdown?

"As soon as you're born, you start to die." Thanks, optimistic grandma.

It was more sad because there was a visibly longer line for the wimp-out line than apparently for the ride itself!

If I remember correctly, H2Overdrive is basically a higher-tech sequel to Hydro Thunder... they had a few of Thunder's consoles stripped for parts down on the factory floor! It's really an amazing game and I could spend my entire life savings in quarters playing it.

The players: Nathan (kumba830), Jo (Jojo19799), Cameron (subtle), and Old-Man Dan The game: Six Flags Great America, two days after July 4th, with a Gold Flash Pass The result: The best day at a park I've had yet. Enjoy! And I leave you tonight, since I just got home from Chicago and haven't even unpacked yet, with my new wallpaper shot. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for tomorrow! Hooray for almost-symmetry. After 3 out of 4 of us got our wangs laundered, we rode what was personally my favourite coaster, Raging Bull. I actually thought it was better than Behemoth, though many people may argue the point. The airtime in the back seat is amazing! "Well, they ARE the cleanest park in the world... even the wangs have to be washed!" -- Cameron (By the way, ladies, I have to pay $6.00 every time. Just sayin'.) Welcome to Giant Drop, the one ride in the whole park that truly had me scared. Mild fear of heights is a bit conflicting as a coaster enthusiast, but drop towers still get me every time. Still, for my first Intamin tower credit, Giant Drop was really awesome! Good luck getting me on a Skycoaster or SCAD Tower though. Look, they even started vertical construction on it! (Though I think the bear with the Mardi Gras beads has been placed near Ragin' Cajun instead.) I think they meant to install Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain here, but they got halfway through the acronym and forgot it. TAKE THE TUNNEL!!! What part of "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!" didn't you catch the first time? "And y'know, Ron, whenever I think of roller coasters, I think of mayonnaise." (I seriously would like to sit in on the board meeting for ride sponsors one day... and I would have Raging Bull sponsored by ketchup. Because I like ketchup... and that's important!) NOTED! Iron Wolf was next, and as I kind of expected, the Wolf tore me limb from limb. And this is REAL credit whoring! Cameron opted out of Spacely's Pocket Rockets, instead opting to talk to the photo guy who offered the mate some tucker. It's like credit whoring for rail buffs! I call this one, "Hailing a Taxi In NYC". V2 was pretty much the same as Wicked Twister, except the back spike was a completely straight drop, and in the back it kicked ass! But the Batmobile, the most subtle automobile in fictional American history, was there to make me happy again. Looked like I wouldn't get my historical first-invert-in-the-world credit today. =( "I'll do anything for beads!" Placeholder to remind me that our first ride was Ragin' Cajun, a standard spinning Wild Mouse. Well, just Jo and I rode 'cause Cameron was picking up our Flash Pass and Nathan wasn't there yet, but that ensured we got to be thrown to both sides of the seat on every turn! One of two Scrambler-esque rides I experienced that day... the other, Triple Play, surprised me and made my stomach do a triple-flip... good thing we rode the train after! Condor was surprisingly not intense, though Jo pointed out this old poster which still has Shockwave on it. Just since I like Bill Engvall... EASILY saved us at least six hours in line... we were all Flash Pass virgins yesterday and I think all four of us had nothing but good things to say about it. And a beautiful entrance plaza to boot! OK, let me say this now: I consider Cedar Point to be my home park, at about 3 hours away compared to SFGAm's 6. The cleanliness, friendliness and overall operations of this park blew CP out of the water and clear out into space. I think I saw more friendly employees here than even at Disney! Much kudos to everyone who helps make this park so unbelievably great. 3/4 of our legendary crew waiting for Six Flags Holy-Crap-Awesome America to open. Random pre-opening Superman photo. More on that craziness later. It's an hour 'till opening and I'm already having 1/6th more fun than the average Six Flags park visitor! The next morning started off aforementioned best day ever. For one thing, Jojo gave me a free ticket she had apparently laying around, and Cameron paid for my Flash Pass, which I just realized I meant to pay him back for but I forgot until just now. When I'm six hours away. Damn. Actual quote... Cameron: "Will this look like a commercial where you have to look like you're having more fun than you actually are?" Me: "Hell no, I actually AM having this much fun!" After this we headed out for some GREAT deep-dish in a very out-of-the-way pizzeria, Pequod's, in Skokie. Great stuff if you're ever in the area. Apparently picking my nose is more interesting than picking a boat. (Well, I guess I always went with Rogue Runner, anyway.) Here, Cameron is shown about one millisecond away from destroying my boat with a MegaHull Crusher impulse. Fiery arcade boat crash FTW. Their newest godly invention is H2Overdrive, complete with amazing gameplay, great little details like LED lights corresponding to the game and a crystal-clear LCD hi-def screen. (Cameron, if you could remind me of that financial quote for one of these, that'd be great. I've already set up an offshore account.) So the day before our SFGAm hostile takeover, Cameron graciously invited me over to his place of work (AND play) over at the Raw Thrills factory. These are the guys behind such recent great arcade consoles as the Fast and the Furious Drift/Superbikes and Guitar Hero installations. ...Wait, when in the hell did THAT get there? Finally in Chicago, and the Sears Tower looks better than ever! Not pictured: Awesome chocolate-orange side-by-side milkshake, which Cameron claims he invented with his banana-chocolate request. Pictured: Still awesome, but not as cold. Starting off this TR so very, very right...