cfc

I think the tower looks OK, particularly in the long shots as it rises over the trees. Personally, I don't think it looks worse than other drop towers I've seen (KD's could sure stand a paint job, great ride that it is), and the rotating seat platform should be a nice touch.

Too bad the Phantom showed up and spoiled it all.

^And let's not forget "Backlot Stunt Coaster." I have no issues with "Verbolten," but we'll see how it all pans out with the ride's theming.

^Please elaborate--what don't you like about the name?

^Why that sneaky bastard.

^I think the tiger was chained to something, but you could walk right up to him. Don't think I'd wave a hamuburger in his face, though.

Aw, would I do something like that to you, Joey?

I've eaten at the Mellow Mushroom in Asheville, North Carolina--pretty dang good. Congratulations on finding the funky BBQ joint and managing to get out alive.

I liked it a lot; others preferred Blue Fall at Sea Paradise in Japan (another excellent drop ride). I think the only drop ride I dislike is SFA's (go figure). Big Drop was my favorite ride at Dreamworld. Original, thanks for the heads up about the Bob Tan's name. I'm good with faces, but terrible with names. I'm not a flat-ride person, but I did ride the Claw in the rain. A good, long cycle as I recall (definitely more than enough for me). I didn't ride Wipeout.

Prepare yourselves for adorable animal pictures. Remember--you have been warned! We're waiting for the Motocoaster to open. This is why we're waiting. Daredevil stunt riders will take curves at high speeds and leap over 30 buses and through hoops of fire, but they can't abide rain. "Born to be Wild!" The ride is fun, but the restraints aren't. This is the best restroom sign next to those at Mitsui Greenland. Maybe we should devote part of the TPR Park Index to particularly good toilet signage. OK, how many parks in the U.S. would let a guy ride around in the back of an open truck bed through the middle of park full of people with a tiger? Darn! Missed it. But at least we didn't miss these cute lil wallabies. There is no "wallaby-shearing" demo, by the way. Anyone who doubts that birds evolved from dinosaurs needs to see a cassowary. "Welcome to Jurassic Park!" "Oops! Is my little joey showing? I'm so dreadfully embarrassed!" The roos are lining up for Cassie's alfalfa pellets--they're magic! Is that a joey's tail in your pouch, or are you just happy to see someone? The ever-so-imperious-looking koala. Really, he has that "who just farted?" look on his face. Fleeing from the New South Wales tyranny, I exercise my God-given right to hold a koala. "I am King Koala! Kangaroos bow to my will! Fetch me a churro with gum-leaf jelly, knave!" "Yo, King Koala! why don't you come down here and try to lord over us!" So, this is where the croc-feeding show is held. Bilby porn! Something you can't do at Busch Gardens Williamsburg. Greg is a big boy now! He can drive his own car! Lizard powers activate! These dingos aren't as lazy as the ones at Featherdale Wildlife Park. More of the Old American West--Aussie style. Hmm--I don't recall John Wayne or Clint Eastwood doing a lot of "fossikin." What was once a ride is now theming. This was a "wild mouse in a box" that was shutdown due to safety concerns years ago. Yup--I'm one bad hombre. Once shot a man just for snorin'. Did I mention that Dreamworld has the tallest drop tower in the world? Yeah, I probably did. I'm sure these folks know it by now. You know, if you order this is certain states, you could be arrested. Congratulations on your 30th anniversary, Dreamworld! And thanks for a great day!

Chapter 4--The Only Park I Know that Has a Sheep-Shearing Demonstration: Dreamworld After getting soaked at Wet 'n' Wild, the soaking continued in the form of rain at our next park: Dreamworld. This attraction was the brainchild of John Longhurst, who had been inspired by Disneyland in California and started building the park in 1974. It opened in 1981. The Disney influence is pretty obvious, thanks to the "Main Street" style entrance--there's even a sternwheeler paddle boat and a "homage" to Frontierland. But Dreamworld also has extensive, and well-done, animal exhibits, including not only the usual assortment of Aussie critters, but tigers, as well. This is the best park we visited, and despite the rain, the staff made us feel welcome and ensured that we'd have a great day. Although the rain delayed the opening of some attractions, there was plenty to keep everyone occupied until they opened. The coaster lineup doesn't stand out, but there are at least two unique rides. Tower of Terror 2--This backwards Intamin launched shuttle was Escape from Krypton before there was, well, Escape from Krypton. The launch isn't as fast as its cousin's in Valencia, and it doesn't climb as high up the spike; but it makes up for this with a great tunnel section with light effects. Mick Doohan's Motocoaster--I liked this Intamin tire-propelled coaster with motorcycle trains (the course is fun); the restraints are a bit awkward and uncomfortable, though. Cyclone--This is the old Arrow loopscrew that used to be at Luna Park Sydney. It's fairly rough (more so than Sea Viper at Sea World), but it's hardly the worst Arrow ride anywhere. The theming--some sort of experimental "cyclone generator"--is interesting, at least. Runaway Reptar--A kiddle Vekoma SLC with OTSRs. 'Nuff said on that. There's a fun laser tag arena (Alien v. Predator v. You), a good assortment of flats and kids rides, a surprisingly dry rapids ride (toned down for the rainy day, perhaps), and solid theming throughout (again, a good "Old West" section). We didn't hit the water park, but our guide described it as a "Pro Slide showroom." And let's not forget The Big Drop--the tallest drop ride in the world! Oh, and the sheep-shearing demo, which we, unfortunately, missed. All in all, another solid park that treated us very well. Hmm . . . this entrance looks vaguely familiar . . . can't quite place where I've seen this before, though. "I was hoping for a heartier breakfast." "Ah, that's more like it! Now bring me some coffee to wash this guy down." Our guide this morning was the head honcho of attractions maintenance, Bob Tan. Really nice guy, very informative. He has a slightly different take on who came up first with the idea to run their "Superman" ride backward. Backstage at the water park, telling us about the park's water-recycling system. "Sarah Connor?" For a brief time, we were "authorised"--to do what, I'm not sure. Under the Tower of Terror 2's train. Now there's a tongue twister. This helps the ride "Vroom" out of the station. "Vroom" is a very important technical-type term, you know. Never confuse "zoom" for "vroom." One of these wheels could easily crush your foot, or be used by a crazed squirrel as a weapon. The little rodent just stuffs it in a nylon stocking and starts twirling it around. OK, this is the "back" of the train. But since the train goes backward, wouldn't it sort of be the "front"? Yet you have to go the the "front" to go back. God, these tours are confusing. I think this is where the crew makes cappucinos and lattes. Maybe a mocha, if you're nice to them. Although the restraints look like they were designed by Hannibal Lecter, they're not all that uncomfortable. I think the tunnel is what really makes this ride. "Vroom," not "zoom," up the tower. This was my first "Laser Tag" experience. TPR members are really quite bloodthirsty. Go Blue Team! "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" "SPNONGEBOB FLYPANTS!" "Yellow, rectangular, and perverted is he!" "SPNONGEBOB FLYPANTS!" We learned many interesting things about tigers here. For example, tigers love Sno-Kones. Their favorite flavors are zebra, gazelle, and poacher blood. I'm not sure I'd let a tiger this close to my groin, but different strokes . . . Abandon hope, all ye who enter! "Hot potato, hot potato . . ." AGHH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK! I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW! Hey, I hope there are some hot-potato dishes at the buffet . . . AGHH! HAVE YOU NO PITY? I had to crawl through this shark's guts to get that song out of my head. It's an old Australian remedy. Next up, the ride formerly known as the Big Dipper at Luna Park Sydney. This was one of the weirdest queues I've ever been in. It was like walking up the side of an "ultra moderne" apartment house that was built in 1950s Hollywood. This is called "theming." It reminds me of Tennessee Tornado a bit. Looks like Robb's been here. Our intrepid band of cyclone chasers. Not the worst old Arrow ride I've ever been on. Sheesh! There's more theming in the exit queue than in the entrance. It's driving Jimmy and Bob mad! "Dropped your wallet, mate? Sure, it might be down here. Just take a look . . . a little lower now . . ." More to come from Dreamworld.

Easter at Busch Gardens--and the Resurrection of this Thread Spring! Easter! A time of renewal! So, why not resurrect my BGW thread from its post-Howl-o-Scream hiatus? Yes, old threads are just sprouting like dandelions here at TPR. I like visiting the park on Easter Sunday. The weather is usually perfect (bit on the warm side this year), and the park isn't slammed, probably because most folks go to church and then off to Grandma's house for ham or lamb or something. The longest wait was for, of all things, the Loch Ness Monster--go figure. What I like about the first visit of the year is checking out all the little changes from last season. BGW is always tweaking things, it seems--often as they relate to dining options. As for Mach Tower, not much new to report, but as has been mentioned in the park discussion thread, now that they're back to weekends-only operation for a while, maybe construction can push ahead. Let's have a look, shall we? I have to make sure that I use the parking attendant's window on the right side, as my other power windows won't roll down at the moment--stupid old Saturn with almost 99,000 miles on it. Not even 10:30 (the park's "official" opening time), and Apollo's Chariot is already carrying riders. OK, Southern Adventists--shouldn't you be in church? Yep--the tourists have returned to Williamsburg like hungry mosquitoes to a yellow porch light. They moved the little barn owl's house to outside the stables. "Tether me? Hah! You will live to regret this folly, I promise you!" "So, this wench thinks she has me controlled, eh?" "NOW YOU DIE!" "YOU DIE TOO!" I don't recall them flying the owl around the barn last season. In the shadow of DarKastle is the Bunny Trail. There's something sinister about this. My god! A mutant bunny! Mad King Ludwig's powers have grown! Hmm--my guess is that this is where Oktoberfest's new Maypole is going to be installed. Just a hunch. Will this new soccer-ball-kicking game be the next Three-Point Challenge? Meanwhile, back at Mach Tower, blue stripes have appeared. The pieces of the ride are in the employee parking lot (you can see them from Griffon). But, hey, the pretzel bakery is up and running. Bake, damn you, bake! How's this for Easter brunch: a smoked-sausage pretzel dog and a wheat ale. The sandwich was good, and it's nice to have a selection of beers beyond Anheuser-Busch products. Later, Oktoberfest. There's a new show in Italy: Mix It Up. It's sort of a halftime show with chefs and waiters. There's a new dining option in Festa Italia, near the Roman Rapids. They used to serve cheesesteaks, fries, and mini-pizzas here. I'll have to check it out some other time. Hmm--does seem to restrict access to the water cannons, though. Apollo's Chariot was down (A B&M? Down? My god!), so I decided to ride the train and see if anything is going on in the old Drachen Fire area. And . . . . . . just some little flags. Moving on. And now Le (as opposed to "Der") Catapult (as opposed to "Katapult") in its new spot (and in its new paint). It's red in honor of Canada, eh? Moose can use catapults? Who knew? They're poppin' up fresh kettle corn in France now. You can rent these cabanas at the front of the park. They're located in the Wildlife Reserve between Ireland and France. Once last stop before I leave . . . . . . Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! That's all for now.

I thought I felt a disturbing tremor in the Force, but it was just Adam jumping up and down.

Two things: 1. "Intamin Mega Lites are (not "is") overrated. 2. Thread locked before it degererates into a meaningless flame war.

^Fanboy.

^My most pleasant surprise of 2010.

OK, my ballot's done. Drumroll, please . . . Top Ten Favorite Wood Coaster (Balder), Liseberg Expedition GeForce, Holiday Park Intimidator 305, Kings Dominion Goliath, Walibi World Phantom's Revenge, Kennywood Park Nemesis, Alton Towers SheiKra, Busch Gardens Tampa Griffon, Busch Gardens Williamsburg Mindbender, Six Flags Over Georgia Diamondback, Kings Island The only additions to my top ten are I305 and Mindbender. The Bottom-Ten Hall of Shame Tulireki, Linnanmaki Cobra, Tivoli Friheden MegaBlitz, Coney Beach Goudurix, Parc Asterix G Force, Drayton Manor Eejanaika, Fujikyu HighLands Great American Scream Machine, Six Flags Great Adventure (rest in pieces) Ninja, Six Flags St. Louis Ninja, Six Flags Over Georgia Space Mountain, Disneyland Paris I've added a pair of Ninjas. I think Space Mountain in Paris will always occupy the bottom spot, because Disney should be ashamed of this thing, (I'd rather ride Primeval Whirl.)

This just sounds so, so wrong.

No one needs to post anymore kangaroo-feeding pictures. It has been done to perfection here. Too bad some chunky, bald-headed guy is screwing up this this photo. He looks vaguely familiar somehow . . .

^Agreed--it proves that a "family coaster" doesn't have to be boring.

Wanna see some more Sea World and a bit of Wet 'n' Wild? If so, you're in the right place; if not, what are you doing here? Thank you, Coke! "Hi folks. I'm a polar bear. If I had the energy to eat this bird, I'd wash him down with an icy cold Coke product." "Yep. This is all I do. Except when I shill for Coke." This section sponsored by Dave Thomas. "Hello, Dave. Thanks for your support. To show my appreciation, I won't eat you." "Bar-ra-coo-dahhh!" "You know, you remoras suck. Not a judgment, I'm just sayin'." While cleaning the shark tank, try not to look "delicious." "Imagine Sea World Australia"? Yes, I think I can do that. "OK . . . steady . . . have the harpoon ready . . ." "We're dolphins. This is what we do." Dolphin surfing is a very popular sport Down Under. Avast! Thar be agile, gymnast-type pirates about! "Arr! I'm a pirate captain! I likes to whip out me sword, I do!" "Really? Well, I like to whip out this!" "Aye, ye shoots it straight and true, mate!" "Quack, quack, quack! Once I'm finished with the 'Dynamic Dimwits,' they'll never show their face in Gotham City again!" "I must have this fish! Pray for me!" And I did. Well, so much for praying for penguins. Let's head over to Wet 'n' Wild. ("Praying for Penguins" sounds like a game show on the Christian Broadcasting Network.) This thing spins just about enough for my taste. Understood! Here's the slide where I thought Dave and I might actually die. Here's what happens when you put five adult coaster enthusiasts in one raft. I gotta bad feeling about this! "SAVE US, JEEBUS!" Phew! Looks easy, doesn't it? Down he comes . . . . . . and up he goes! I think Amy is in there somewhere. Well done! My god! David Cornell is a Terminator Boogie Boarder! This is the only picture I have that is remotely related to the Outback Spectacular. Excuse, me "greatest ever stories"? What kind of crazy syntax is that? ("Greatest-ever stories?" "Greatest stories ever?") That's all for now.

Chapter 3--Coasters, Critters, and Half-Naked TPR Members: Sea World and Wet 'n' Wild When it comes to sea-life parks, I'm more into the walkthrough aquariums and habitats than the shows. I mean how many times can you watch a dolphin, killer whale, seal, or a tuna fish leap in the air or play a set of car horns before it ceases to amuse? Better to amble by as they swim around. This is why Sea World Australia (no relation to Sea Worlds in the States) fills the bill for me. Yes, they have shows, but they keep them to less than 20 minutes--perfect! The dolphin show is pretty good. The obligatory comic seal-lion show and pirate stunt show, not as much. The performers in the stunt show were an energetic bunch, anyway--all gymnastics and diving champions. But Elissa wins my vote for Comment of the Day, when she quipped that these kinds of shows are where such champions "go to die." (Espeically those who fail make the cut for Cirque or Barnum and Bailey.) One other thing about Sea World's shows--this is the first time I've ever seen a trained pelican. Their walkthough habitats are pretty well done. For example, the penguin exhibit lets you get pretty close to the penguins (albeit behind a thick sheet of glass) because you aren't separated from them by a wide moat. There's an underwater section where you can watch them swim around, too. Shark Reef is also good, if not as awe-inspiring as the Shark Encounter in Orlando. But, as we all know, sharks are always cool. There's a surprisingly good family coaster here, too: Jet Rescue. This is an Intamin tire-launched coaster that follows a twisting course while you ride on "Jet Skis." (This ride is what Knott's Pony Express should've been like.) The theming is a bit odd, though--something about riding your Jet Ski into a "blowhole" to save a "majestic sea lion," who apparently doesn't fancy being in a blowhole (or being blown, I guess). The park's other coaster, Sea Viper, is an old Arrow loopscrew that, in Robb's words, "didn't kill us," which is good. Not a great ride, but OK for what it is. Sea World also offers an average flume ride themed to Vikings and a fairly substantial Sesame Street kids area. Wet 'n' Wild is a decent water park, but I think we may have caught them on an off day. Their new Aqua Loop slide was shutdown--something about peeling the skin off of riders' backs--as was their Tornado slide. The park's Intamin halfpipe coaster, Surfrider, is fun and spins quite a bit, and I liked their other slides. My only real complaint was their "no single rider" policy on many attractions. I understand this is essential on some slides (Aquazoid at Water Country in Williamsburg will "valley" if there isn't enough weight in the raft, for example), but it can be a bit awkward if you're part of an odd-numbered group. David and I ended up sharing a few rafts and tubes together, and when you put two guys as big as us in one raft, you can get some speed. We actually touched the top wall of their "halfpipe" slide, Kamikaze--BANZAI! The ERT on the park's Flowrider was a lot of fun (even if it was bit chilly that night). This was my first crack at one of these. I started out pretty well, but lost my boogie board and had to get off--only to slip and fall flat on my back. (Good thing it was like landing on a wet pillow.) I'm looking forward to trying this again. This was also the night we took in the Australian Outback Spectacular--the Down Under version of Medieval Times or Dixie Stampede. This show involves horses, cows, sheeps, pigs, World War I, explosions, and a helicopter. I was surprised a koala version of Godzilla didn't show up. It was also involved steak and unlimited beer, wine, or soda, which works for me. Some TPR members, including Kristin, even got to be a part of the show. All in all, a great day with some new stuff I'd never tried before. Both parks treated us really well, too. Meanwhile, back at Surfers Paradise . . . . . . Chuck is pointing at the ocean. Why? He doesn't know. It's just a strange compulsion. And what about these strange birds? What role do they have to play? Buddha serving burgers and coffee? Why? And does he have fries, onion loaf, or both? It is all a deep, dark mystery that has haunted my dreams for weeks! My dreams to "tout" and "busk" have been shattered! Why such a cruel fate? Why, why, why? At least there's always Steak Cafe. Yes, we will always have steak. It heals many wounds, even while it clogs your arteries. Enough existential angst--time for Sea World! My angst has returned! I am not only stopped from "touting" and busking," but also denied my eskie! Oh, the injustice of it all! Robb is thinking deep thoughts: "Why am I holding this bag? What significance could it have? Do I smell fries? I wonder if there's any frozen Vault here? God, I hope so!" First stop: Jet Rescue, a family coaster themed to blasting through a "blow hole" to save a "majestic sea lion." What did it all mean? Cut it out, cantcha?! Just enjoy yourself! NO MORE ANGST! EVER! Well, maybe just a little angst. What does not kill you . . . . . . makes you stronger! And, yes, we are all stronger for this experience. We searched for the elusive entrance to the flume ride. This ray was no help at all. Nor was this penguin. Well, he had other things on his mind. Perhaps we should climb this peak for a better view. Might spot the flume entrance from up there. Crap! I brought my rope and pitons for nothing. (This is actually part of the Bermuda Triangle splashboat ride, which was down for a big refurb. I'm told it's pretty good.) Er, I hope this isn't the flume ride. Is that it? Looks like someone's patio. Success! At last, we may set sail and die like Vikings! Or at least get slightly damp--like Vikings. Hoo, boy . . . Yes, it looks like we're on a collision course with wackiness. They're sitting in the "We Have No Friends" section. "G'day, Scott and Matt." OK, let's get one thing straight: These are "Fish Detectives." Not "Fish Police." The Aussies have had more success with a show about aquatic law enforcement than CBS did. Adding a "bestiality" element may be one explanation for SW's greater success with the "Fish Detectives" concept. CBS was just too squeamish to explore this area. OK, more than I wanted to see. Must . . . avert . . . eyes . . . Hey, not too many shows have a trained pelican! At least, I think he's supposed to be part of the show. "I've done my part. Where's my fish?" The horror! The horror! More to come.

Looks like I 'a' goin' to Texas fer this here bash, varmint!

Jimmy, Wonder Woman just called--she's gunning for you! Beware her Magic Lasso!

I think Desperadoes is a lot of fun. It's essentially a "shooting motion simulator" where you and your group are new deputies chasing a band of ruthless outlaws (and shooting the crap out of them, of course).