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More currywurst!

I'm not a flat-ride person, but I gave this one a try. Is it crazy fun? Yes! Will it make your stomach hate you for a while afterward? In my case, yes! (A nice brew at the Beer Carousel later helped.) Even if you don't ride, it puts on a crazy show.

The sky ride is very long, so your caution was warranted.

^Speaking of culture, the Vesta Museum in Stockholm is pretty cool. I enjoyed my visit to Kolmarden, too--especially Wildfire and the Safari gondola ride.

Alton Towers reminds me a bit of movie director William Castle--the King of the Gimmicks. He was a master of hype. He was very good at making not particularly scary movies sound like the most horrifying thrill fests ever.

What? No random body parts? Where are the decapitated heads? Oh, it's "spooky" not "scary." Now I get it. Looks like a great alternative for kids.

^"Quick" is a relative term. It's remarkable how they build what amounts to a small city on the festival grounds each year.

They had a phaser setting for any situation.

The Crypt does seem to have a lot of issues.

^It does sum up Munich during Oktoberfest pretty well. I think the only somewhat "odd" thing I tried was pork knuckle (essentially, a roasted pig leg). It was OK, but I think I'll stick to schnitzel and beer. I had the best curry wurst ever at Oktoberfest, too.

That ride was a lot of fun, and Movie Park did a good job theming the queue and pre-show.

I'm not a flat-ride guy (spinning tea cups can ruin me for the day), but I thought I should try at least one while at Oktoberfest. I chose Voodoo Jumper. [fbvideonew] [/fbvideonew]This is Theme Park Review's video, although you probably already know that. Was this a good choice? Did Joey finally triumph over the Devil's Conveyor Belt? Let's find out. Sweet victory for Joey on his second try! This slide stuff is harder than it looks. “OK, little Pokemon, you’re mine!” “At last, I have exorcised my spiral-slide demons!” Dignity. Always dignity. Caesar has to be around here somewhere. Aha! There he is. Looks like he had a very good time last night. I don’t think Janice enjoyed this dark ride all that much. The facade was the best thing about it. I must politely, and with all due respect, say hell no to that enormous stick ride. Oktoberfest really comes alive after dark . . . . . . but be sure to watch your back. Unobstructed Olympia Looping at night. Obstructed Olympia Looping at night (this is one great ride--not even my fat head can harm its greatness). You will respect the Fuhrer’s hot nuts! I think this game is rigged. Alpina Bahn wants you to remember it’s here, and that it also has pretty lights. Thank you. Crap, even the mostly indoors spinning coaster has great outside lighting. “Your souls are mine!” And now, a three-level dark ride that requires two photos: Geister . . . . . . Palast. I rode this one twice. The first time, all the gags were working, and it was a lot of fun; the second time, not so much (many gags not working). “Huh? Whaddaya mean the creepy Hollenblitz miner already got your souls? Damn it!” Even demons deal with constipation sometimes. Oh no--not falling for that again. I decided to try one crazy flat ride while I was there. Hmm--not Parkour. What the hell--Voodoo Jumper! “I was a human being once. Then I rode Voodoo Jumper.” I think this relaxing ride is more my speed. It even has its own band. They were paid in schnapps, from what I could tell. Yes, this is the best flat ride at Oktoberfest: The Beer Carousel. And like the sign says, that’s it--for now. Look for more culture and theme parks in later posts. Feel free to comment.

The Oktoberfestiness continues! Drifting Coaster doesn’t look all that crazy in this photo. Do not be deceived! This crazy, swinging coaster is one of the weirdest rides I've ever been on. Although the first drop is a bit painful, I ended up liking it. Alpina Bahn is Olympia Looping without loops--and still a lot of fun. If you drink enough beer, everyone looks like this. This is the best spinning coaster about miners, Christmas, and fire ever. This creepy old prospector invites you to enjoy his miners' rave with lasers, strobes, waterfalls, Christmas trees, and fire--plus plenty of spinning. You have to admire this guy's sartorial style. The Lion King summons us, and we must obey. Robb and Elissa reserved tables in this tent months ago, and it was worth it. Yep--that’s one big “tent.” Let’s see . . . oompah band, check. Polka music, check. Guys in funny hats, check. Hot women in dirndls with beer steins, check. Goofy American tourists, check. What? We gotta drink all this? Well, if you say so. Just keep it coming. Caesar is still thirsty. This is either the strangest game of Twister ever or some sort of orgy. KT takes on the Devil’s Wheel. The wheel wins the first round. You don’t have to be drunk to ride the wheel. But . . . . . . it probably helps. Reed and Stacey take a shot. But . . . . . . when you get right down to it, . . . . . . the Devil’s Wheel always wins! You stand a slightly better chance of beating the Devil’s Conveyor Belt to the spiral slide. Sometimes you need a little assistance . . . . . . sometimes a lot. (Derek, quit playing Pokemon Go and watch your step.) “So, my old nemesis, we meet again!” Will Joey ever triumph over his archenemy? Stay tuned.

Part 1--Oktoberfest: What the Hell Just Happened? I've read about European "fun fairs" on TPR for years, but I've never visited one. So, why not visit the biggest: Oktoberfest! I’ve heard many differing opinions about Munich’s Oktoberfest over the years. They range from “greatest time ever” to “monumental kitsch fest” to “gawd, I wouldn’t go near Munich in September.” And you know what? All those points on that continuum are valid. I can completely understand why some would hate Oktoberfest and steer clear of Bavaria until after October 2. It is a big, crowded, noisy kitsch fest--and that’s OK. That’s the whole idea. So, what is Oktoberfest? To me, it’s a number of things: 1. The world’s largest beer festival and traveling fun fair. (It makes any similar gatherings in the States look like school carnivals or church bazaars.) 2. Two young, drunken women in matching dirndls (those “beer maid” outfits) walking face first into a tree, then just laughing it off and going on their way (and guys in lederhosen doing the same thing). 3. Singleminded people with their eyes on one objective, plowing through the crowd by the shortest possible route, bouncing off other revelers as they go. (Seriously, if you’re bothered by crowds or people touching you, don’t go to Oktoberfest.) 4. Huge “tents” where the party starts around 10:30 am and runs late into the night. 5. A seizure-inducing field of blinking-flashing-strobing lights and loud mixes of almost every kind of music from techno to country to oom-pah-pah. 6. Couples making out (sometimes more) in very public places, random drunks sleeping it off in random corners, police who keep an eye on things but intervene only when absolutely necessary, and the occasional ambulance with its distinctively European siren. 7. The amazing hospitality of the Bavarian people. 8. The enticing smells of curry wurst, pork-steak sandwiches, and other hot carnival food, tempting you to sample everything. 9. The most amazing collection of traveling rides you’ll ever see anywhere, including the excellent Olympia Looping (a coaster that lives up to the hype--and surpasses it) and flat rides that run crazy cycles that can tear holes in the space-time continuum. 10. Beer steins and good times. Yes, it’s difficult to sum up Munich’s annual massive party, and it sure helps to have folks with Robb and Elissa's experience to get you through it all. You’ll just have to see for yourselves. Once again, this was another great trip--thanks! Shall we go in? I'm going to post a lot of photos, so I'd appreciate it if readers would hold off on comments until they're all up. I'd like to keep them together on the same page--thanks. These photos were all taken during the four days we were in Munich, too. For now, prost! [fbvideonew] [/fbvideonew] The Munich subway map tells you all you need to know. Welcome to one of Oktoberfest’s six or seven entrances. This is the crowd on the busiest day of the festival, known locally known as “!@#$$!!! Saturday.” My first official beer of Oktoberfest--a nice dunkel. This was in a small, crowded biergarten near the Alpina Bahn coaster. Anyone seen Caesar since last night? I think we’ve picked up his trail. Here’s one of the other entrances to the festival grounds--note the infamous spiral slide (more on that later). Here’s Oktoberfest early in the morning. Quite a contrast to “!@#$$!!! Saturday" afternoon. There’s even time to go to church, if you want to confess your sins early and beat the rush. Do I really need to say its name? You’re a braver man than I am, sir. “Am I tethered properly?” “Aw, you’re fine. Don’t worry about it.” Fully licensed and legal, I’m sure. “Garsh, folks--looks legit to me!” Behold the true Lion King! There is quite a range of fashion on display at Oktoberfest. It’s hard to imagine the size of these beer “tents"--and how quickly they can put them up. Need a toilet? Just look for Cupid’s butt in a chamber pot. Hmm--not sure if I’m under- or over-dressed for Oktoberfest. We did this fun house to kill some time that morning. I slipped and bumped my head in a rotating barrel--and that was before I had a beer that day. The revelers are arriving. This guy is is hoping to have a very good time. This guy either tied one on a bit early or just got off Voodoo Jumper, the crazy flat ride in the background. Yay! Olympia Looping is open! Stacey is, er, thrilled? Apprehensive? I’m going to lean toward “thrilled.” This ride lived up to its reputation--and then some. I’m just shocked I didn’t take more photos of it. I guess I was too busy riding. “This ride is sill closed. Talk to the bear.” I think Bob snapped his neck on the Wilde Maus. What’re you guys doing? This ride just killed Bob! Two Staceys on Voodoo Jumper. They are at the mercy of the drunken monkey ride ops (look closely and you’ll see them). Robb and Albert believe that monkeys make anything better. Joe and Jere feel quite safe in the hands of our monkey overlords. What? Fire! Stupid monkeys! This ride runs one seriously long cycle. “Please don’t hurt us, Mr. Voodoo Man!” More to come.

This is pretty damn good for a "home haunt."

Yep--it's the granddaddy of theme-park haunts.

I've been to Knott's Scary Farm only once, but have been on the wrong side of the country ever since--yet I've always liked it a bit more that Universal's Halloween Horror Nights. This year's version looks great.

It sounds like Vekoma finally learned the lesson of Premier's Flight of Fear--get rid of those rock-hard OTSRs.

Yes, the classic "baby rattlers" gag. They used this one at the amusement park on the South Shore of Lake Tahoe, too.

Thanks for the excellent report. Although Paris Disney has its flaws, there's a lot to like about the place.

Time to get frost bitten! Mad King Ludwig decided to take the rest of the year off. Welcome to Frostbite--this year’s new maze. “Go ahead. Sing ‘Cold as Ice’ one more time. I never get tired of that gag.” I haven’t had to walk through the entire DarKastle queue in a long time. Ludwig swapped homes with this guy, who looks like a blue version of Groot. It was all done “sight unseen,” and I bet Ludwig got stuck with some ice-fishing house in Wisconsin. Poor dope. It gets creepier as the sun goes down. Meanwhile, back at Axe Alley, the Vikings have dropped their leather ale mugs and picked up their weapons. I don’t want to alarm anybody, but I hear there’s a Bungee Viking around here, somewhere. Possibly where the Bungee Soldier was last year. “Blurry vengeance is mine!” Axe Alley is a lot creepier after dark. Demon Street is party central for HOS. “I’m gonna . . . cough! . . . scare the . . . hack . . . oh, crap . . . ugh . . . back off on the fog a bit.” Unlike the Flaming Nicholas Page head in the last photo, this dude likes the fog. Now that Bitten is gone, Catacombs is the oldest maze at Howl-o-Scream. This cabin has been burning for years. You think these demon hell beasts would be more careful. What time is it? It's Burn-for-All-Eternity O'clock! Time for ice cream as made by a mad scientist. This chocolate-almond liqueur concoction was delicious. Let’s take another lap around the park, starting in Ireland. All hail the Pumpkin-Spice God! He demands another crucifixion sacrifice! The ritual is complete! Behold the children of the Pumpkin-Spice God! They will infuse your beer with more tastiness! The only way to escape the pumpkin spice is to survive Deadline. Oh boy! The circus is back in town! Just don’t push the fortune teller’s button. She hates that. The maze itself is a bit better this year (they made some good tweaks). Many people were shocked by this guy--literally. I wandered by two shows: Starfright Orchestra in Italy . . . . . . and Night Beats: Revamped in the Festhaus. ("Night fever, night fever! Do you know where’s the beer at?") I think the Demon DJ is up there somewhere now. Yep--there he is. “It’s almost eleven. You best be headin’ home, guvnor.” And that’s a wrap from Howl-o-Scream. Thanks for reading.

^Speaking of that . . . Howl-o-Scream: What's New for 2017 Yes, it's my favorite time of the year at Busch Gardens. Jack the Ripper stalks the streets of London, vampires terrorize Germany, and demons get down with their bad selves (and their chain saws) in France. Those are the constants of Howl-o-Scream in Williamsburg (at least over the last few years). So, what's different this year? If you were hoping to fight traditional vampires in tuxes, opera capes, and evening gowns, I regret to inform you that the park's oldest maze, Bitten, is no more. Perhaps too much sunlight leaked in during the earlier part of the season, thus reducing the bloodsuckers to dust and bones (or perhaps there was a garlic epidemic). It was about time. The maze was getting a bit long in the tooth (yes, pun intended), and it was time to dump some holy water on it. I will miss the pounding James Bernard/Hammer Films Dracula music that reverberated from the old Drachen Fire station. But there is a new maze to replace it: Frostbite (in the DarKastle building). One thing I like about Howl-o-Scream is that it can't depend on existing IPs for mazes; they have to be "original" concepts. The backstory of Frostbite concerns the death of a dragon that once lived within a cavern and provided heat and light for the people in the castle above it. But now some sort of "frost demon" has taken over and turned the once warm dwelling into an icy palace of doom. BGW used the DarKastle space (and some of its projection equipment) pretty well, and they cranked up the AC to make it appropriately chilly. It's a fun walk-through, but I thought the "ice king" in the pre-show looked a bit silly. It drew a big crowd, but the wait was only about 30 minutes, even with a full queue. The Wendigo Woods Terror-tory is gone, although the Wendigo is still around. Now you have to survive Axe Alley, where you're harassed by the ghosts of the Vikings who invaded New France. It's doesn't have the elaborate back story of the old Terror-tory, but it fits in well with Invadr, and the Vikings are pretty active at banging their axes and chasing unwary guests. So, what else is new at Howl-o-Scream this year? They've decreased the amount of gore in the Ripper Row Terror-tory in England. The random bloody body parts are gone. They reconfigured the Lumberhacks outdoor maze (behind Verbolten). You now enter through what used to be the exit, and I thought it was an improvement--the scares are better hidden now. Cornered, the other outdoor maze, has changed, too--the mirror-maze section has been replaced with rather close rows of corn, making it more claustrophobic. They made some tweaks to Deadline (Escape from Pompeii building. There's a new No Escape room, too: Jack the Ripper has bee replaced with the Case of the Haunted Hotel (this is an upcharge). Let's have a look around. Just in case you’re forgotten where we are. Nothing creepy here. Nothing at all. Right? Ripper Row is a low on gore compared to previous years. Where are all the body parts? At least the Headless Hearse Driver is still here--and you don't have to tip him, because he's dead. Hmm . . . where to go first? Let’s consult this handy map . . . . . . or ask this crazy ghoul woman. I like this gimmick with the maps, and there are a few other video-screen surprises in the park. Being as the ghoul woman wasn’t much help, let’s just follow this sign to the new Terror-tory: Axe Alley. First, we must cross the Valley of the Spiders. (Not an official Terror-tory, but my pet name for the path from Ireland to France.) Just follow the ghosts. They'll never lead you astray . . . if you're looking for Hell, that is. Ghouls will try to distract you with booze and ice cream. And later this evening, they will succeed with me. Do not fall for the tasty deceptions of the Children of the Night (even in broad daylight). Focus on your objective. Demons will be out in a out another 15 minutes. Welcome to the Terror-tory formerly known as Wendigo Woods. Now it’s been taken over by murderous Viking “Invadrs.” But the Wendigo is still around. Hmm--looks like a good spot to scare people. We’ll find out later. Bitten is now officially “dead,” but the undead still roam Vampire Point in Germany. “I sparkle. I also bite and suck!” Sheesh! That security guard just let two vampires walk by without as much as a “who goes there.” At least the trash can is safe. The Mr. Karver No Escape Room us back, but Jack the Ripper has been replaced by the “Case of the Haunted Hotel.” If I were Jack, I’d be a bit miffed. More to come.

That all looks amazing! I was drooling while checking out the TPR Twitter feed last night, too.

Olympia Looping definitely lived up to its reputation--and then some! The Drifting Coaster was completely insane (never ridden anything quite like it before).

Spinning wheel of death. I guessed that would be high on the list.