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Your parents' old Christmas tree topper was an anal bead tower? It looked very much like this.

Alton is a great park--need to get back there someday. Did you ride Hex? That's still my favorite Madhouse ride.

They were following the group right up to the steps of the bus and were quite relentless. Larry did score a laser pointer, cheap, from one after the river cruise.

I think we know what the next cooking update has to be Brandy! And here's a recipe: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/churros/.

Chapter 10: More of What You Crave: Culture (sort of) in Shanghai! Our stay in Wuhan was brief. Next stop, Shanghai, a rather cool mix of East and West. Here's where we picked up a new Chinese guide, who proved to be, well, a bit odd: Tom. Tom was obsessed with counting. Boy, could that guy count! He could've been the Chinese Count von Count. "Ah! Ah! Ah!" He especially loved following Elissa while she walked down the aisle of the bus, counting behind her: "Vun coaster enthusiast! Two coaster enthusiasts! Ah! Ah! Ah!" It was amusing and more than a little creepy. Well, we made it through Shanghai, at least, where we visited a bazaar, checked out the view from a rather odd looking tower (which also had a coaster), rode a Maglev train, and took a nighttime river cruise. Here's a look. This segment of "22 Days in China with TPR" is brought to you by Generic Shop . . . . . . a division of the LAMEX Corporation. If you shop here, you're lame! Our first stop was this bazaar, where lots of nice people were ready to sell you strap-on roller skates, laser pointers, "authentic" Rolex watches, and probably "pretty, sexy ladies," if you looked hard enough. Fortunately, there was a McDonald's where Elissa could find refuge from the Chinese Count von Count. Yes! Civilization at last! Tom is the one with a dead panda on a stick. All you street peddlers leave me alone! I don't want a freakin' Rolex! All I want is some freakin' tea! Where can I find some freakin' tea? Old meets new in Shanghai--it is a cool-looking city. Elissa says, "My god! McDonald's delivers here! 'Ooo, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!'" I think this was called the Pearl Tower. I'm not sure because everyone referred to it as the "Anal Bead Tower." This was a bit disturbing, as it resembles my parents' old Chirstmas tree topper. Just is case you've forgotten what year it is. We had to wait a bit to experience . . . . . . the "visual feast." This elevator shaft looks like something from Fritz Lang's "Metropolis." Behold the "visual feast"! Our hotel is the building with the "crown." Better watch that first step. Save me, Jeebus! Hmm--I hear there's a credit around here somewhere. And here's the sign, but I couldn't get a picture of the coaster itself. It was a pretty decent little ride--like a mini version of Euro Sat at Europa. One last look at downtown Shanghai. Here's another sign of civilization. OK, all you train geeks (and you know who you are)--it's time to ride the Maglev to the airport and back. How's that, Matt and Jeff? Yep--pretty fast (about 187 miles per hour). Er . . . noted? We had dinner at this floating restaurant--it was good. Larry really liked the "Panda on a Stick." Delicious! And now, Shanghai after dark. We needed some beer to wash down our "Panda on a Stick." Here's our hotel again. The "Anal Bead Tower" sure looks purty at night. There were all sorts of cool boats out on the river. Ours was a bit "generic." Time to head back. For some reason, barely pubescent boys are aroused by this aperture. I'm not sure why. This is, evidently, some official, government-type edifice. "It is now time to put my superior Chinese counting skills to the test! Let's see . . . yi, er, san . . . OH MY GOD, I'VE IMPALED A PANDA FETUS!" That's all for now.

I guess there's a "Bouncing Bumble Snow Monster Bounce House" in the works. I think this was a good call by Herschend.

Please leave the moderating to the moderators--thank you.

Welcome to Hell!

Good question.

^BGW's churros are "meh." Those churros at Hopi Hari looked great.

Wait!?!? What?!?! How is this possible!?!?!? What? It's un-American to have never tried a Mexican-style pastry!

^Maybe they should try the Confederate flag.

^But not if they "tore" it down?

^^A Chinese-made Sky Wheel would be absolutely terrifying. At least their knock-off Mine Trains are decent. ^Robb and Elissa made the same point. I'm glad that the Happy Valleys actually spring for "real" versions of rides (well, except for the Spinning Mouse coasters).

That does sound like one amazing churro. U.S. parks should offer these.

This was one of favorite rides of the Scandi Trip, rain and all. That underground inversion is, indeed, unique.

OK, I''m in, too.

^That's not wine. It's an ipecac.

Anyone caught carrying in a bottle of Thunderbird or Mogen David should be thrown off the ship.

^For me, it's still code for "this ride is very bad." But to each his or her own.

I've never been convinced by the "if you know how to ride them" argument. My take is that any coaster that you must "know how to ride" isn't aging well or wasn't particularly well designed in the first place. I agree with you about the newer B&M rides not being particularly interesting, though (I think Hair Raiser at Ocean Park is an exception).

^Waste not, want not.

I would've shot it on a Universal sound stage set of Epcot decorated to look like Disneyland.

^I wouldn't call those turns "banked"--I would say "contorted" or perhaps "misshapen." I think that bit before the corkscrews is the most messed up mass of coaster track in the U.S.

That's pretty much how I see it. If I were at a park on my own, I wouldn't bother queuing up for a kiddie coaster--with a group, it's a different story.