robbalvey

Nope! It really goes THAT fast!!!!

Been on all 10!

Today was Tivoli Gardens. The park was AWESOME! They treated us like royalty! (little do they know...heh, heh, heh....) Our day started off with an hour ERT session on the "Rutchebanen" or the Scenic Railway...the classic traditional woodie built in 1914. We then got to take a very in depth behind-the-scenes look at the ride, the work area, train shed, and climb all over the coaster...all while it was RUNNING!!! We had some free time in the park and then was treated to another hour of ERT on Daemonen, the B&M floorless which could only be described as "cute." In fact, the ride is so cute that you just want to reach out and pet it. But don't let it's cuteness fool you, it is very intense! It's almost like a "Floorless Batman." After an hour riding, we had some local television crews with us to do interviews, etc and we got some ERT on Vertigo...the parks new INSANE flat ride that pulls 5 G's, flips you every way possible. It's just crazy. Did I mention the park is insanely beautiful? Anyway, onto the photos... And, oh yeah, in case you missed the link on the last page, we made DANISH TV! Check it out: http://www.tv2regionerne.dk/?id=487653&r=5 Here's to Tivoli Gardens for another AMAZING DAY! THANK YOU!!!! Next Stop... Bakken! Dinner at Wagamama was amazing! "OW MY ASS!!!" Assume the position! How many TPR members can we get on this rotating disc? ...the TPR takeover in the FUN HOUSE!!! TPR take over at the bumper cars was pretty deadly...but not nearly as deadly as.... Terry "OMFG, my hymen just popped" credit! KidTums CREDIT!!!! "Daddy, I've only been on the car ride 25 times...can I go again?" Can you spot the camel toe in this picture? Hot Fuzz Rich is just trying not to think about what is happening to him right now. You get 1 minute that is 5 g's worth of "Turbo Boost" and then 1 minute each on the joystick to turn the thing every direction possible. Big Mike says "I rode it...and Jay Leno would be proud of me!" And when you go into "Turbo" mode, all hair breaks looks! This...THIS is the most INSANE thing ever!!! It's called "Vertigo" and, you see, you can "control" it with a joystick.... Front seat - every expression from "I just sucked on a lemon" to "Wow! Crap is flying out of my pants!" Nice photo! I wonder if Hanno took that one? There goes Lou with her crazy hair again... LOOP - DEE - LOOOOOP!!! COASTER PORN!!! Even though Daemonen en is "little" you get a nice view of Copenhagen from the top. B&M ERT! YAY!!!! Another park that is "KidTums Approved!" They look happy, but only because they have very relaxed sphincters having just emptied their bowels. This machine is pure EVIL! Mum! Dad! DON'T TOUCH IT!!! Robb's TV interview #1! "Ok everyone. Pretend like there is NOT a train going by!" "C'mon on in and check out this giant motor!" This train is going NINETY DEGREES!!!! Flanged wheels anyone? Trainy, Train, Train, Train, Train! The backstage tour took us all over the ride! Big Mike misses Katie Holmes. This lovely woman used to be over one of the tunnels. Now she welcomes us to the backstage tour. Photo op time! Welcome to your backstage tour TPR! Guess who they let be the "guest brakeman" for the day? Who would have thunk we could have so much fun on a ride that is nearly 100 years old! Would you let this man touch YOUR brakes??? So THAT is what happened to that guy... Big Mike! SIT BACK DOWN!!!! Hey Lou! Watch that craaaazy hair! Theme Park Review loves the Rutchebanen! Get ready for some crazy airtime! Helllooooo brakeman...please don't kill us! TPR ERT is always CRAZY! TAKE THE TUNNEL!!! You guys ready for some classic woodie ERT? Another day, another TPR group photo!

^ Awesome! If anyone is able to grab it and email me a copy of it that would be awesome! --Robb

That was the problem, really. Every trip we've had to the park we were with people who hadn't been on any of the coasters. And after queing 6 to 7 hours to only get on 3 or so coasters the last thing you want to do is wait in ANOTHER 4 hour long line for something that's not a coaster. Now, if we ever hit the park on one of these mythical "empty" days or go on a day where we don't care about the coasters and hit the hospital first, we may end up doing it. --Robb

Just a quick question - did the video load and play for everyone ok?

It was quite the epic update so I congratulate anyone who made it all the way through!

Very few of us have ever been in it because none of us are into haunted attractions that much to have waited the 4 hour posted queue outside of the building. If you're into haunt attractions, I hear it's amazing...I guess...but I can't see ANYTHING being worth a 4 hour wait. --Robb

That it does... What happened to all the "Self operated rides" from when we were there in '05? The self-operated rides are gone, which is a bummer, but the park has added quite a bit more since our last visit! The spinner is probably the best of the Gerstlauer ones I've done to date, the log flume was pretty kick ass, the new pirates area with the INSANE obstacle course and "airtime slides" were amazing, it was cool to see another "Tripsdrill Freefall ride", the new indoor section that was nothing but a HUGE play area was cool to see and overall I think the park has really "filled out" really nicely. I always thought the park was kind of "missing something" when we visited in 2005, but it seems to be more complete now. --Robb

Yes, we all rode it. We did a group take-over of "Fantasy World." I think Big Mike may have a couple of photos in his update. I couldn't post everything, if I did I'd never get any of these on-going trip reports done! --Robb "I'm determined to keep the thread updated this year!" Alvey

Bon Bon Land - Still the most totally screwed up park in the world! Everyone *NEEDS* to visit this park!!! Seriously though Bon Bon Land is such a great place. There is plenty to do for both kids and adults. The coasters here are ALL good! Even the Dog Fart Coaster (yes, you read that right). Even though it's just a "kiddie" coaster, it is the most memorable kiddie coaster ever! How many rides can you say you, the rider, gets farted and pooped on? TPR totally conquered this park with nearly 2 hours of ERT, and when there are only 46 of us on the trip that REALLY means ERT! Take as many rides on all the coasters as you can handle! Anyway, lots of photos...read on.... You guys ready for the ... ummm ... "Wild Pussy?" It's CLEARLY written on the side of the car! The spinning wild mouse was new from our last visit...actually, this is a spinning "Wild Cat"...and how do we know? WATCH OUT FOR FLYING DOG POOP!!! "Ok everyone...get ready to be farted on!" Please meet Henry, the most popular farting dog in theme park history! Is there any better way to start off a TPR trip than with ERT on the Dog Fart Coaster? "Welcome to Bon Bon Land - We hope you enjoy our farts, poops, and boobs!" I love how we are traveling through Denmark following a giant American Cadillac! Hello world! Meet this year's round of TPR travelers! Big Mike's transportation has arrived! And we round out our 2 hours of ERT on the world's first Euro Fighter! "Hey everyone! I have KidTums-sized rides ERT!" This is the "Oh! Face" during one of the climatic moments of the "Wild Pussy." Can you spot the pussy in this photo? Yes, you are seeing that correctly...that is a seagull crapping in an Alligator's mouth! OMG! What exactly is Big Mike doing to Chuck?!??! KidTums is EASILY going to win this race! Hello Roller Coaster Tycoon! The most important ERT of the day! Jumpy, Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump! Big Mike misses Katie Holmes! Anth has found a very comfortable place to sit down. Craig! Stop rimming the Henry the Farting Dog!!! "Welcome to Bon Bon Land" says the stoned duck. "It's themed to a giant chicken...DUH!!!" "Do I have to do anything dirty or can I just hang out with the cute puppy?" Check out Big Mike's BIG ...um... beak? This is the only action Craig is going to get the entire trip! The official TPR Scandinavia tour T-Shirt! Can you spot the pussy in this photo? "I'm King of the NERDS!" "Bon Bon Land is KidTums friendly!" "No, of course...not at all!" "Hello giant ant! How's it going? Mind if we slide out of your butt?" For this being one of those Zierer family coasters, this ride totally kicked ass! Yay! For long coaster trains!!! Could this be the worlds longest coaster train? "No hearts or embryos can be carried on this ride." Yup...peeing ant is still here. GRRRR!!! I'm the ANGRY worm! Gimme some apple! Yay! It totally kicks ass!!! Hello worlds first Euro Fighter! Pleasure or Pain? You decide! Smiley Face = GOOD! Sad Face = DEATH! Robb got Double Deckers and that is ALL that matters! Thanks again for reading... Tomorrow we are off to Tivoli Gardens! Don't even THINK about touching Divv's Doritos! Back at the hotel is the start of a new TPR trip tradition...the "Candy and Snacky Snack Snack Snack Snack Trading!" "Thank you Bon Bon Land! We had an AWESOME day!!!" Bon Bon Land is based on candy produced by the company of the same name. The candy is themed around dog poops, boobs, and farts! No, seriously! It REALLY is!

Hey everyone! Guess what? TPR has arrived in Copenhagen! And what are we doing here? Kicking off TPR's 2009 Scandinavia trip! Ok, it's early in the morning, and you guys really aren't here to listen to me babble on are? (Or are you? Sick people!!!) So let's just give you some photos.... TPR's Scandi Trip! Official Mini-Updates Index Day Zero - Arrival Day & Group Dinner Day One - Bon Bon Land, Denmark! Day Two - Tivoli Gardens, Denmark! Day Three - Bakken, Denmark! Day Four - Hansa Park, Germany! Day Five - Sommerland Syd & Legoland, Denmark! Day Six - Farup Sommerland, Denmark! Day Six (Part Two) - Tivoli Friheden, Denmark Day Seven - Djurs Sommerland, Denmark! Day Seven (Part Two) - Karolinelund, Denmark Day Eight - TusenFryd, Norway Day Nine - Liseberg, Sweden! Day Ten - Skara Sommerland, Sweden! Day Eleven - Grona Lund, Sweden! Day Twelve - Powerpark, Finland! Day Thirteen - Sarkanniemi, Finland! Day Fourteen - Linnanmaki, Finland! BONUS UPDATE! IKEA!!! BONUS UPDATE #2! The TPR Grand Prix! Our next stop.... the land of the DOG FART COASTER!!!! More to come soon! "Ok everyone! Look at the camera and do something uniquely Scandinavian!" Wow! KidTums says "Scandinavian Mac & Cheese tastes just like Kraft!" (No really, she talks now, she ACTUALLY said this!!!) Our first stop...some traditional local cuisine at Freestyle Music Cafe. Socially, socially, socially, blah, blah, blah. Many of the usual suspects await in the lobby. Except our "van" ended up being a FULL SIZED COACH!!! TPR only travels in style! Yay! Our airport van has arrived to pick our lazy asses up! When does Copenhagen close? Tivoli Gardens!!! We'll be seeing you in just a few days. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Kinder Egg?" Yeah, she was hittin' the booze pretty hard. OMG! OMG! LAND HO!!! Yes, KidTums is only 2 years old and yes she has her very own iPod already! KLM = Scandinavia? Well, not quite, but we'll make a quick stop at Amsterdam on the way!

Howdy Texas Partners! Some of you may be aware that TPR will be rolling through town in July and we do have some spots available for locals to meet up with the tour on some days. Below is the schedule for the tour. If you are interested in meeting up, drop me an email and let me know the following: - What days you can meet up. - If you have a season pass or not We will email you back with more details including costs for the days you are interested and what time you'll need to meet up with the tour. Schedule: Friday, July 17th - SFOT All Day Saturday, July 18th - SFOT Until 1pm Saturday , July 18th - Kemah Boardwalk 9pm - 11pm Sunday, July 19th - Kemah Boardwalk Morning until 1pm Sunday, July 19th - Fiesta Texas (evening) Monday, July 20th - Sea World (morning), Fiesta Texas (Afternoon, evening) Tuesday, July 21st - Schlitterbahn All Day If you are interested in joining the tour on any of these days, please email me at robbalvey@aol.com Hope to meet up with some of our Texas TPR members! --Robb Alvey www.themeparkreview.com

Here it is! The final Re-Cap post of the Epic TPR Asia Trip! If you want to read the entire epic trip report in it's entirety check it out here: http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=45980 Hey kids! Let's review what we did today.... We saw some iconic Olympic stuff... Here we are on the Great Wall of China. And of course we went down from the Great Wall TPR style! We rode a coaster that nearly killed us! (No, really!) Went to the "Forbidden City" even though they let us in. Elissa was a Chinese Hooker for a day. Sex in China is VERY weird! "Super Speed Cool Cool Bear." Yes, it's a roller coaster. This is NOT a sign of quality! When the coasters fly apart, they just pile them up in the corner. KidTums got a lot of random Chinese Kiddie coaster credits! Happy Valley looked awesome...but the operations blew...but just LOOK at it! This is an actual REAL Space Shuttle once used by NASA. Oh, good...just what Robb needs...A TANK! Is this picture REAL or FAKE? You decide! "Orgiastic Scream!" Please don't forget your private thing! Kick Ass Intamin Rocket! "Mommy...do I REALLY need all these credits?" "I love Chinese Food!" Freestyle Music Park should come ride this. Good thing this coaster isn't covered in rust or anything... Mr. Chicken says "Yo!" "The beak is my favorite part!" We are in Hong Kong now. KidTums poses "Asian style!" Yes, the Panda IS watching xxxpanda.com Hong Kong baby! We hired them as babysitters. They worked for peanuts. Yup, it's a roller coaster. Just in case we forgot what her name was. We went to Korea for some awesomeness... Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Not Awesome. Yay! Back in the U.S.S.R.!!!! Wait, wrong country...or is that wrong song? Oh, never mind! Intamin Credit! Crazy Japanese Video Game Character Hair Credit! Many pints of semen were ejaculated during the taking of this photo. I can't show you Elissa's lower half because then we would have to charge money for the site! KidTums says "You know, bread tastes pretty much the same in Japan..." "Everyone loves a log..." Very pretty coaster haven. In Japan, Hello Kitty haunts you everywhere you go. "Welcome to Yomiuriland...want to sniff my ass?" F**k this place. Seriously. Worst theme park in the world. "Peeing fairy is better than two midgets." It's tall and phallic...and yeah...it's tall and phallic. This Ferris Wheel is bigger than Japan. Elissa is: A. Getting eaten by a shark off screen. B. Getting her ass kicked by Japanese obstacle course. C. Trying out for Wipeout And finally we end our trip at Tokyo Disneyland where we rode Aquatopia for three days straight. Just kidding. We also looked at this sign for 9 hours. Japanese Mexicans entertained us with their jokes. Two days later we were still riding Aquatopia. Elissa and Kristen say "We hope you enjoyed our Epic Asia Trip Report...now go Buy The DVD!!!" Thanks again for reading! --Robb

Hey everyone! Here is another clip from Coaster Expedition Volume 12! (Remember if you follow the "CoasterTube Link" at the bottom you can download it to your computer or iPod!) This time around we're at AMAZING WORLD in China! Although it wasn't as much "amazing" as it was REALLY bizarre! At least the selection of coasters (or coasters that weren't really coasters...) Anyway, I hope you like the video and the commentary... [coastertube]http://www.themeparkreview.com/coastertube/play.php?vid=amazingworld_whrr[/coastertube] Post your comments!

Yeah, what he said. ^^ Please don't be the reason we have to now allow 16 year olds to attend future TPR events by doing something stupid and running off before you're allowed to exit the area. --Robb

Do you mean during Termination Day or any other day? I think what I meant was, if you were at the VERY front of the gates when the park opened, and you BOOKED it to X2, you could totally get in one ride, and then come back around and ride again with a fairly short queue, before most of the masses get to the ride. This of course assume that X2 has opened with the park and there is no delays. I'm not sure why it would matter what position in line you are for a Flash Pass. Once you get the Flash Pass you can use it whenever you want. I don't think getting their early or late really gains you anything one way or the other. X2 is much better, especially on an inside seat. I don't sorry. Unless there were multiple coasters open, I don't think the park security would want us wandering off from where we should be. (I wouldn't pesonally allow this to be honest.) Once you start to wonder off to a place where you shouldn't be, you become a liability to both the park and TPR. I don't want to be responsible for anyone getting in any sort of trouble and it reflecting poorly on TPR and the park never wants to do events with us again. So I would ask that if you go to Termination Day, please stay at Terminator until the park opens. Once the clock hits 10:30am if you want to book it over to whatever ride you want to, be my guest, but if you're wandering off before 10:30am, that may create some problems. None, sorry. We limited the tickets on purpose so that lines for Terminator would be short. With the number we have, the line should be 15 minutes at the longest, and I'm sure as people start to drop out of ERT, take pictures, takes a break, etc, it will be even shorter. I'm guessing most people will be able to get in about 15 - 20 rides during the 2 1/2 hours of ERT. --Robb

^ LOL! I like the idea that HRFSMP is the "Springtime for Hitler" of the amusement business! --Robb

OMG! A "Ninety Degrees!" shirt is actually something we are about to put together for the TPR store! --Robb "Great minds or however that saying goes!" Alvey

I just checked their website and I didn't see anything listed. I did see this however: $27.95 seems to be quite a high price for a group bringing 500 people to the park when Natalie said she paid about sixteen bucks! I want to say that's the group rate price for parks like Cedar Point...but HRFSMP? No way! Hell, I think that's too high for GENERAL ADMISSION let alone a group rate price!!! --Robb

Really? Last time we were at Islands of Adventure operations were terrible. Hulk and Dragons were just abysmal. But that doesn't stop me from going back... --Robb

I'm not even sure why the staff should be a deciding factor if you should or should not go to a park. I don't go to the park to hang out and talk to the employees, I go to the park to ride the coasters. While yes, a park with a good staff that seems to care and offer good customer service DOES make a park better, I've never let the staff of a park decide the fate of my visit. --Robb

But have you ever been to Wild Adventures during a concert day when like 10,000 people show up to the park? They at least have that going for them. Do you think HRP ever saw a 10,000 person day? Or ever will? --Robb

^ Oh, yeah! I forgot about that part! It really does seem that Hard Rock Park was a "cover up" for their financial losses and while they built something that was also an epic failure, those original guys certainly did make out pretty well! --Robb

This pretty much sums up our experience with the park last year as HRP. I still say that had this park been built in an area that could REALLY support a park, it would have more than a fighting chance. But Myrtle Beach? I just don't see it lasting. It's too bad really because it's all about location. Even if this park had been built in an area that already has an established park, like Philly, Chicago, San Fransisco, etc, there are enough people in those areas that it *could* have had a competitive chance. And then there are those huge markets WITHOUT a major park - Houston, Seattle, Phoenix, Miami, Las Vegas, Boston, etc... Why...WHY did they choose Myrtle Beach?!?! --Robb