Electerik

They tore it down. Sorry. Thanks. But I think this one might be even better: SeaWorld Orlando Except for the lack of Manta photos, of course. Well, there was a caricature artist stand that I didn't include. (Shameful, I know, but I was running long.)

Unlike every other major park in Florida, SeaWorld Orlando is not divided into smaller themed sections. True, there are a handful of individually themed areas--but, between them, they account for only about 40% of the park. Or so SeaWorld Orlando would have you believe. The truth is much more intriguing. Over 100 years ago, before there were any parks at all in this region of the world, the Masons divided up the land that would eventually become SeaWorld into areas that they called "sublets." As is frequently the case in Freemason affairs, the central "sublet" is often the most important, and usually takes the shape of an animal when viewed from above. Until very recently, this central area of SeaWorld did not seem to fit that pattern. And then a very interesting thing happened.... Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you: Mantaland. Above, I have outlined the path we'll be following around the park during this update. Note how it clearly resembles the shape of a manta. Coincidence??? Let us speak of it no more. I've said it before, but I'm certainly not above repeating myself: SeaWorld Orlando has the prettiest park entrance I've ever seen. Of course, that's not really the park's entrance (unless you're a Mason, and a really good swimmer). No, just to the right of that--here--is where all the real action happens. Almost inside! The photo ops taunt me! Shamu himself. Too bad I'm in shadow. On second thought, maybe that's a good thing. I'm mysterious.... This is where you get park maps, as well as signing up for special tours and such. I flashed the traditional Mason hand signal at the gentleman manning the desk, but he ignored it. Perhaps he was right; There were too many other people around. I find it interesting that the stroller rental place is also a gift shop, and not just stroller rentals. But now that I've typed that all out, it doesn't seem that interesting. In any case, we won't be needing a stroller today. My first tough decision of the day: Roller coaster, or ice cream? After standing paralyzed for nearly 20 minutes, I made my decision. I've already decided 'ice cream,' SeaWorld, you don't have to entice me with a bakery as well. Oh...but there's cookies. Curse their chocolaty chip goodness! Shamu's Emporium is the park's main gift shop (in the sense of being at the front and being named "Emporium," at least). This is, of course, a well known Mason edict: To appease the gods, all parks' main gift shop must be named either "Emporium" or "Trading Company." Sure, a candy store. Just rip my heart out, why don't you? I note with some interest that they still make fudge in the traditional Mason way. I still can't decide if this marketing ploy is incredibly lame or completely awesome. There's a boat on the ceiling. I wrack my brain: What does this signify?? I like how the register is made to look like a boat. At last, my search brings forth results! Okay, I'm good. Now we can get serious. The path towards the Waterfront contains a small waterfowl enclosure. "Earl, over here. The little ones can't read yet." The Dolphin Nursery, curiously, is nowhere near the other dolphin exhibits. A question of balance, perhaps? The Masons are big on balance. Surely, this is the cutest thing in the world: A baby dolphin with a flower in its mouth. Awww...! The thing about dolphins is, they're not really trained to do "tricks." They're just bribed to do on command stuff they would normally do anyway. The Waterfront is one of SeaWorld's supposed themed areas. Pure obfuscation, if you ask me. We'll be ignoring its artificial borders today, thank you. What's this? Groundhogs for purchase at the Seafire Inn?? Our luck is astounding! Well, groundhog is not listed on the menu...but we'll try anyway. The Masons, of course, frequently ate groundhog (and other rodents) during their most sacred ceremonies. Sadly, despite the signage out front, they were still only on breakfast. Wait...does this mean I had ice cream before breakfast?? Not that I'd put it past me. But it's so hard to keep these things straight when your photos were taken over multiple different days. You can also sit outside, if you like. But I prefer-- Wait, did Misty eat all the food while I was outside taking photos? Why that little...! What you're looking at is a series of interconnected shops much bigger and fancier than the one up front. (However, none of them are named "Emporium.") Ooh...merchandise! (Note the 'Mason Eye' on top of the display rack.) The far end of said shops. These guys do a whole comedy routine about recycling. Seriously. Now, I know that you're all excited about riding Manta, but first we're going to see a show about doggies and kitties. Okay? Yes, it's "Pets Ahoy"! Featuring tightrope-walking cats... ...and jump-roping dogs! (Eh, it was okay. Seems a bit out of place at SeaWorld, though.) And now for lunch! (But we're getting closer.) Honestly, with all the good food options at SeaWorld, you can do better than Seaport Pizza. Sad that this is the only pizza the park offers. Anyone want to get a funny hat made? What? Oh, right. Very well then. Yes, here we are at update number 13, and our very first roller coaster, Manta. Except that Manta isn't just a roller coaster. No, SeaWorld seems to have named the entire area "Manta." You might even say this is sort of a "Mantaland," yes? Sure, everyone has this photo. But what makes mine unique is the dude with the red and black backpack. Aw yeah. Caution: You may get wet in this queue. Comes pretty close to that waterfall. "Riders of Manta will experience forces." The entryway to the aquarium part of the queue. What, seriously? How hard is that? So, yeah, this queue is awesome. Nautilus. Stingrays! (No actual manta rays, though. Apparently, they're really tough to take care of. Still, this is SeaWorld. I mean, if the Georgia Aquarium can do it....) The real reason there are no manta rays here? Freemasonry. Seriously, this is like my favorite queue ever. Sure, Toy Story Mania's is cool--but it's the same every time. The fish keep this one interesting. It's a Shamu Ray! The stairway up to the loading platform. (Or was that obvious?) I'm sure I don't need to explain the significance of the number 54. I can't decide if this lift hill shot is totally lame or, like, the best picture ever. Notice how I timed this shot perfectly. For some reason, this kind of reminds me of Six Flags Over Georgia. The very forceful pretzel loop. The reddish building on the right is the on-ride photo shop. Okay, my opinion: It's good, it's just not my kind of ride. I prefer Kraken. (Or, better yet, Steel Eel.) If positive G's are your thing, you'll love it. But I won't be marathoning on it anytime soon. This roped off area seems to be guarded by an employee at all times. Apparently, it's an unexpected "drop zone." The phony splashdown finale. It does not make it to the midway, but it does wet the lower legs of riders on the right-hand side of the train. It's a dual load station design, just like the Supermen. As awesome as the queue is--and despite the fact that SeaWorld Orlando has traditionally been the king of exit theming--Manta's exit seems almost like an afterthought. (In fact, it sort of reminds me of Gemini.) The on-ride photo set up is nice, though. The best part of Manta is that it makes women more busty. Manta's gift shop is oddly located, making me think it was an already existing building. (I can't remember what it might have been, though.) It's also a bit undersized. Cool shirt. (Very well balanced.) Back closer to the entrance is Manta Market. Okay, so if you don't want to ride the coaster, you can access the aquarium stuff this way. In fact, it's better this way. (I have no comment on Smisty's manta dance.) When you're done thanking the Phoenicians, SeaWorld invites you to thank the ocean. The entrance and exit to the walk-through aquarium are to the left of the lockers (seen earlier) and between the entrance and exit of the ride itself (and its aquarium stuff). For the most part, you see similar stuff in both. The presentation is sometimes a bit different, though--such as this "ceiling aquarium." There are placards like this throughout both aquariums. But what's funny to me is the complete lack of credentials of the people quoted. Indeed, one suspects that these folks might in fact have some higher, secret credentials. Freemasonry does have its privileges, after all. Hello, and welcome to the tank of horrors. "You find me gross, do you? Well, check this out!" "I'm in yer tube, being amorphous!" "Hey, I'm gross, too! I have tentacles and everything!" Now these guys I like. The leafy sea dragon. There are weedy sea dragons here, as well. There, in the tank on the right. Well, obviously, you can't SEE them. That's the whole point. Ahhhh! I'm an octopus! Ahhhh!!! As my final proof, I leave you with this shot of Manta from the park's Sky Tower. From above, you can clearly see how the track makes the shape of a Masonic "Infinitogram." Open your eyes! Next up: Key West and its surprising connection to gay Martians.

My gut feeling is that Disney's strategy in Orlando finally paid off big. For the last five or six years they've been raising prices by $5.00 or so every six months. (Very rough figures.) Every time they do it, Universal and SeaWorld follow suit within a week or two. But Disney has four parks, and they make it relatively-cheap to visit multiple days. So the average tourist faces this question: Should I spend $79 to go to Magic Kingdom, $79 to go to SeaWorld, and $79 to go to Universal Studios (for a total of $257), or just buy a 10-day Disney ticket that will get me into all four of their parks for $243? Sure, Universal can offer a cheap 2-park option, and SeaWorld can roll in Aquatica, but Walt Disney World still has 4 parks and is probably the place most tourists have the least inclination to cut out of their vacation.

Ta-da! Cropping is a wonderful thing. :O) Thanks for the TR.

The more I hear people say that such-and-such park is running out of room, the more convinced I become that any park can add anything.

Yeah...I'm not so sure any of these are really that odd. "Oddventures" just sounded cool.

This headline made me laugh...and then cry a little. Take that, Harry Potter! Disney World brings back Main Street Electrical Parade, Captain EO

Great TR! Thanks for posting it.

But especially Islands of Adventure. Never gonna happen (Universal allegedly has issues with Intamin over Jaws at USF), but I think it would be a perfect counterbalance to all of IOA's B&M multiloopers. But sure, Dollywood and Holiday World are fine choices, also.

^ That's the most unnecessary spoiler warning ever! The characters and backdrop aren't hidden, just the line. I agree about removing the UP characters, but maybe they'll still show up now and then. Just being kicked out of the prime spot, as it were.

Epcot's International Flower & Garden Festival usually runs from early March through mid-May. And it's a great time to go--because, unlike many special events that can sometimes interfere with a park's normal charm, this one really doesn't detract from Epcot in any way. It's just sort of "extra." And so is this report. Be warned, this is about flowers. Not Test Track, not "drinking around the world," not the Phoneticians. Flowers. All that stuff will be covered elsewhere in this thread (eventually). But for now, you get this. Hey, I never promised you a rose garden. Okay, that was bad. This year's theme (though, I'm not really sure why it needs one) is "Celebrate the Great Outdoors." Smisty likes flowers--especially giraffe-shaped ones. Behold! It's a chrysanthemum! Those two parking lot characters. (That's a little joke for you west coast Disney fans out there.) The weirdest walk-around characters ever. Synergy doesn't always work: Suddenly I want to be at SeaWorld. Since the Flower Festival plays right into Epcot's normal strengths and weaknesses, some temporary playgrounds get erected right alongside the topiary. I used up everything I wanted to say on that last caption. These are ostriches. A-mouse-ican Gothic. I came up with that myself. (Though it could actually be the name of the thing. Who knows?) Somehow, I doubt that Peter Pan would really much enjoy peas. And now we head to the World Showcase, where we learn that Bambi is Canadian--which is good, because it means that Americans didn't kill Bambi's mom, those damned Canucks did--and that Thumper is a big giant pervert. Next up is the United Kingdom, home to alligators, pirates, and effeminate little boys. (Well....) Between England and France, we find two sets of princes and princesses: Aurora and Phillip from Sleeping Beauty... ...and Cinderella and Prince Charming. (Apparently, that's his actual name.) France really makes out compared to the other World Showcase countries, as they also have this perfume garden... ...and, like, six characters from Beauty and the Beast. "Okay...you guys know this isn't my true form, right? It was just kind of a temporary thing." Morocco gets Aladdin. Eh, close enough. Since there don't seem to be any Disney movies set in Japan, let's just go with a small banzai display. The best characters are, of course, American. Inspired by my posing with Mickey and Minnie, these young ladies decide to give it a try themselves--with disastrous results. We'll give Italy 'Lady and The Tramp,' since its iconic scene involves spaghetti. That seems good, right? Germany gets 'Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.' Which actually does kind of make sense, so we'll let that one go. Germany also gets some extra little outdoor shops and stuff, 'cause they're cool like that. China says, "Screw Mulan. We're gonna make an effing flower dragon!" And thus, wins. Norway dances with who brung 'em, and goes with a troll. And Mexico, presumably knowing that they'll never beat China's flower dragon, just kind of gives up and puts some potted plants out on the stairway. (Way to play into your laziness stereotype, guys.) Another set of outdoor shops and such. Misty really wanted this outdoor shower thingy, but it was quite expensive and we actually don't have an outdoors. Hey, what's that over there? Why, it's a fairy garden and butterfly house! See? A butterfly. Okay, so apparently Tinker Bell has a whole mythology that she fits into now, with different fairies having different powers and such. For example, this is...well, I don't know her name, actually. But she's a water fairy, and she has dominion over cheap Home Depot lawn ponds. I'm not touching this one. I'm gonna be in enough trouble over that whole "lazy Mexicans" bit. So the new film just gets some cardboard cutouts. Shame, really. I'm not much of a Disney movie buff, but I really like 'The Princess and the Frog.' Stitch holding things down over by Mission: Space. On Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, the old Wonders of Life Pavilion hosts "Garden Town." (I'm not sure why only on those three days, though. It's not like Epcot is any less busy on weekdays. But whatever.) And just what is "Garden Town"? Well, it's kind of like Innoventions for old people. Not to be confused with "The Making of Me." There's a small exhibit where you learn how to arrange flowers, Japanese-style. And lots of outside people trying to sell you stuff. (Just like Innoventions, you see.) Oh well, at least it was nice to see the inside of 'Wonders of Life' again. The highlight of the festival: The Epcot Jammin' Gardeners! There's a surprising amount of Flower & Garden Festival-specific merchandise, like these T-shirts. (Then again, merchandise is what Disney is all about, so I guess I really shouldn't be surprised.) The backside of the "Celebrate the Great Outdoors" display at the front of the park. Epcot's International Flower & Garden Festival. It's Epcot, but with flowers!

I downloaded two of the RAW videos with my Club TPR credit, just to sort of confirm what I already suspected--which is that I don't really care for them. I find endless coaster footage dull and monotonous. Whereas the Expedition videos I can watch over and over. Combine this with the fact that I don't own a Blu-ray player and have no plans to get one (it just seems like a bunch of videophile nonsense to me), and there's little doubt as to where I stand. There seems to be plenty of support for it based on the poll results so far. But, for me, I'd rather Robb spent that time on something else. Anything else. /Nothing against Robb's efforts. Just not my thing.

We didn't. Wanted to check it out, but it was a bit out of the way and had just closed by the time we got to it. It's definitely on the list for the next time we return to the area.

^ Cheaper to build, more expensive to maintain. Compromise: Small B&M hyper coaster. Strictly from a marketing standpoint, the problem seems to be this: Half the general public thinks that anything that doesn't go upsidedown is going to be lame, while the other half is frightened off by anything that does go upsidedown. Pretty much none of them can distinguish between wooden coasters, and will most likely believe that they've already ridden it somewhere else. I would pick the type of coaster the most people seem to be exhilarated by when exiting. (Which would probably be an Intamin hyper, actually. But B&M hypers do pretty well, also.)

Damn Yankees. Because that's just the sort of stuff I know. Thanks for the TR! I suppose I need to give this park another try.

The Ferris wheel is a scale model, so you can't actually ride it. Full-sized, each car would be big enough for 60 people to stand upright in. The log house definitely has a kitchen. I don't remember a bathroom, but it may simply have been closed off.

Ripley's Believe It or Not! Museum in St. Augustine was the first Ripley's "Odditorium," and was selected by Robert Ripley himself as the idea location to display his artifacts. Sadly, his attempts to purchase the building failed. But, one year after his death, his heirs succeeded. Believe it or not! No, seriously, I don't really care. Anyway.... It should be noted that last year, Misty and I visited Gatlinburg's Believe It or Not! Museum--so much of this experience will necessarily be compared and contrasted to that one. The short version? About half the exhibits here are unique, while the other half are the same or similar to those in Gatlinburg. Castle Warden (aka, Ripley's) is located adjacent to the downtown area of St. Augustine. Outside the building is this wonderful chestnut. The entrance lobby and ticketing. Featuring The Attendant With Super Dry Hands! A little more backstory on the building. Run away!!! A 1/12 replica of the original Ferris Wheel dominates the center of the building. I think this supposed to be some sort of 'forced perspective' demonstration, but it doesn't really work. The room of tiny things. He "put his skills to good use"? Obviously, this is some new definition of the word 'good' that I was not previously aware of. Typical Ripley's weirdness. And some guy. We'll call him Steve. Though he will not reappear, I feel he does nevertheless deserve a name for his presence here. Smisty looking way too happy about the cat o' nine tails. A recreation of a cow that supposedly had six legs, but is shown with only four. Hmmm. Busts and statues of weird people. Although I feel really judgmental typing that. NOT a weird person. The exit. But not really. We're like, midway through here. Ripley's is weird. These are jade carvings. They're kind of cool, I guess. Ladies and gentlemen, a mummified cat. The building is three stories tall. Here we are at the top. Note the tourist taking a photo of his wife, just like in Gatlinburg. This moose broke into someone's cabin in Alaska while they were eating dinner, got stuck because it couldn't pull its antlers back through, and starved to death. Not explained: What the residents were doing while the moose was starving to death. It takes a while, guys. You live in Alaska. I'm sure you have a gun. Shoot the thing, then board up your window. Idiots. This monk wanted to continue to be of service to his monastery after he was dead, so they turned him into a candlestick. Gee thanks, fellas. He really enjoyed killing pigs. Um...believe it or not...? This one features a small theater where you can watch old episodes of the Ripley's TV show. Smisty examines some rubber molds of famous peoples' faces, in this random (but classy) exhibit. If you like spinning tunnels, then St. Augustine's is the Ripley's for you! Sure, Gatlinburg has one--but this one has two! There's also a pirate exhibit that I'm pretty sure used to be at Ripley's Aquarium in Gatlinburg. I'm sure there are much better captions for this, but all I can think when I look at it is: "Fry! You have no nose! Your nose is gone! You have no nose on your face!" Just like in Gatlinburg, you are invited to make funny faces in this mirror... ...only to discover further on that you were being watched by other guests. Wackiness! Oddly, the exit gift shop is called the Cargo Hold, just like at Ripley's Aquarium. There's not really a nautical theme here, though. If the inside is about the same, or even slightly inferior to Gatlinburg's--then it must be said that where this one really excels is outside the building. The coolest thing is this house made from a redwood tree log. (Which, in all actuality, you can see for free, since it's in the parking lot.) I love small spaces anyway, so this is right up my alley. Can we live here, Smisty??? Also outside, surrounded by tall shrubbery to protect the delicate eyes of your precious snowflakes, is this full-size replica of The Statue of David. Though I'd seen images of this many times, I really had no concept of just how big the thing is. Well, I mean, not its thing. The thing itself. The statue. Its thing is obviously very small. Which is odd because the hands and feet are massively oversized. Which just makes it seem that much smaller, even though it's actually huge, relatively speaking. Um...the end.

^ That's awesome. Just out of curiosity, which places did we inspire you to go?

That's exactly right. Old dynamite starts to break down and becomes less stable over time. Not a plot hole.

Thanks to everyone who responded--even Guy. The correct answer is, in fact, chocolate mango bread--and it is heavenly. Stay tuned next week for more, "What the heck is Erik eating?" Cheers.

You bring up an interesting point. Gatorland is not nearly as ghetto as they pretend to be. They have lots of (purposely) ridiculous signs and such, but the park itself looks very "professional." They're probably closer to being a proper zoological park than a roadside attraction at this point, honestly. And now, going back a bit, I can't believe that none of my tens of loyal readers even tried to guess what this was: Sad Erik is sad. No more updates 'til somebody gets it.

In and of itself, I don't have an issue with it. However, I don't find it as compelling as many of the mysteries the show has largely abandoned, more or less claiming them to be solved. (Almost everything about the Dharma Initiative, Ben's Others and their breeding program/contact with the mainland, Richard's 1950's Others/military presence/nuclear bomb.) We may now have enough information to figure out the broad strokes on a lot of that, but it's just not as viscerally satisfying as actually showing/explaining it. Sawyer and company in the 1970's was especially galling, because we still got almost no insight into what the Dharma Initiative was actually doing/trying to accomplish, and almost nothing shed any light on what we saw of their legacy on the island back in season 2. It's all well and good to "focus on the characters." But is it really too much to ask to tie up the plot while you're at it? /Still enjoying this season. I just miss the button.

That's not really that hard though, is it? Just challenged all of you. En Garde!

Well, it's good through May 2nd. So maybe you can still work something out.

^ And on that note.... Gatorland bills itself as "The Alligator Capital of the World and Orlando's Best Half Day Attraction." Admission is normally $22.99 for adults, but they're currently running a $9.99 special for Florida residents. That was all the incentive we needed. Yes, Gatorland. Started in 1949 by a man named Owen Godwin, and still privately owned by his descendants. A few years back, a fire destroyed the main gift shop and their trademark gator-mouth entrance. Thankfully, they rebuilt it. Every sign at Gatorland is full of win. Yes, there are alligators (at least two of whom are getting it on). ...unless you're James Bond. I'm not much of a show guy, but you have to make exception for something called "Gator Jumparoo." Having said that, the show was just okay. Too much comedy, not enough hand-biting. If you're afraid of alligators, don't worry. They have snakes, too! This sign only contains three words, yet is redundant. I love it. The only way it could be better is if it just said, "Danger: Danger." Danger: Giant Tortoises! The smaller turtles gather for early morning prayer. 'Gator Gully' contains slides for the kids... ...as well as this cool-looking water play area... ...and a gift shop, for purchasing dry clothes and such. Alright, where are we? Ooh, a train! So, apparently, there used to be a train, and then there wasn't, but now there is again. It's $2.00 to ride the train, but you can ride as many times as you like for that price. We like train rides. One of the former names for Gatorland was Snake Village, according to the train driver/spieler. "But they changed it because it turns out that people are afraid of snakes." After the train ride, we make our way on foot into the jungle. More awesome signage. This gator once plucked a plane right out of the sky. Observation towers make anything more cool. Pretty good view. Smisty poses with one of the swamp denizens. Lots of birds out here, too. Time for lunch at Gatorland's finest eatery, Pearl's Smokehouse. SeaWorld doesn't let you eat Shamu, and Disney doesn't serve mouse--but at Gatorland, gator is most definitely on the menu. I had the gator sampler. The ribs were okay, but the gator nuggets were somehow both dry and fishy. Man, how cool would it be to have someplace where you could just build a pathway and call it an attraction? Snake. Huh. Good thing it stopped there and didn't mess up the pathway. Turtle. (Yeah, I know. I've got nothing. Sorry.) This, on the other hand, is a random fake snake. I don't know why. How about another show? This one involves guests coming down and pretending that they can beat a gator in open combat. (Of course, its jaws are bound. Hardly fair.) ...disturbing image? Gatorland also has a petting zoo. No gators in it, though. And also, today is Thursday. Cow. Erik's mom makes a new friend in the aviary. Much of the front part of Gatorland features covered walkways, which is nice. Yes, it's a (mostly) white alligator. What's up next, Misty? That...doesn't seem right. Here, for an extra fee, you can get your photo taken with some critters. Or, if you're cheap, you can just take a photo of some random stranger and post it on TPR. The free photo op is more my style. "From the gang called Parrots With Attitude!" Wanna feed some gators?? Great! You have fun with that. Flamingos. And, um...vultures, I think. (I think there's a dead guy in that canoe back there.) This is my favorite sign ever. You remember the big Gift Shop Awards show, right? It was on NBC. The newly rebuilt and greatly expanded gift shop. I was kind of hoping for a "I didn't survive Gatorland" shirt, myself. Gatorland. It's practically the reason this thread exists.