Photo TR: How to Make an Apricot Cheesecake

[cfc]

Good Morning, All,

 

My office, the National Center for State Courts, held its annual holiday lunch yesterday--lots of good catered food (the chicken cordon bleu ruled), staff awards, door prizes (not for me, alas), and lots of desserts provided by the staff.

 

Being as my hometown is Patterson, Calif., "The Apricot Capital of the World," and my Dad once served as president of the California Apricot Advisory Board (CAAB) and grew apricots, among other crops, I whip up a no-bake apricot cheesecake for the office lunch each year.

 

Here's how I did it.

 

Chuck

You now transer the thoroughly beaten cream cheese to a mixing bowl. More to come.

Take that! And that! And that! Want some more, punk?

Advisory: Those who are faint of heart may want to look away. I'm about to beat the crap outta this cream cheese!

Time to beat the cream cheese (two 8-oz. packets). And use the right tool for the right job if you can

--like this food processor. If you have to beat the cheese by hand, well, God bless you. (You'll need Popeye-sized forearms to do it.)

Here's what you do with that half cup of syrup--cook it iver low heat until with one package of unflavored gelatin until all the gelatin is dissolved. Then pour it into the apricot puree and mix it well.

Yes, turning you into puree will soften you up! You are not so solid now in your defiance, eh? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

So, you apricots refuse to cooperate, eh? Well, we have ways of making you cooperate! (By the way, save four apricot halves for garnish--then put the rest in the blender. And keep at least a half cup of the syrup.)

And now, presenting the fruit that helped pay my way through college--canned apricots in heavy syrup. (Don't get the "diet" versions packed in water--you need that sweet, sweet syrup.)

Save two teaspons of the corn-flake mixture for garnish, then press the rest into the bottom of your spring pan. Chill it in the fridge for at least 30 minutes--you have plenty left to do to keep you occupied in the meantime.

Then you stir in one-and-a-half cups of corn-flake crumbs.

Boil, damn you!

Time to make the crust. Start by cooking a half cup of butter or margarine with one-third of a cup of sugar.

A little music would be nice, too (like the Trans Siberian Orchestra).

. . . and your spring-form pan. (What? You say you don't have one of these? Well, get your butt over to Target or K Mart and get one! I'll wait.)

. . . your ingredients, . . .

First, be sure that you have your recipe (develped by the CAAB and Kraft Foods), . . .

[cfc]

Moving right along . . .

. . . to clean up the damn mess you just made. Thanks for reading.

. . . it'll probably take you that long . . .

There--done! Now you chill it in the fridge for at least three hours, which is good, because . . .

Remember tht crust in the fridge? Should've been at least a half hour by now. Pour the apricot-cream cheese mixture into the spring pan--then garnish it with your reserved apricots and corn-flake stuff.

Excellent!

Oops! Some of the stuff is on my finger! Well, waste not, want not.

Fold in about four-and-half ozs. of whipped topping (and don't let me catch you using that sugar-free lite crap!).

Pour in the apricot puree--and mix it well, Igor!

Well done, Igor!

Meet Igor, the mixer! And mix you he will!

So, Mr. Cream Cheese, you persist in some of your defiant lumpiness, eh? Well, perhaps my assistant can help persuade you to cooperate.

Add two tablespoons of lemon juice.

Pour a 14-oz. can of sweetened condensed milk into that cream cheese. (Yeah, it does somewhat resemble mucus.)

[cprocks22]

First, LMAO

Next, Mmmmm unhealthy cheesecake goodness Awesome Photo TR!

[zeke11793]

Mmm... Cheescake.... Great photo TR.

[TheRapidsNerd]

Between the torture blender and Igor the Mixer, this TR and Jahan's Cake TR are two of the best times I've had learning some new cooking tips.

 

Great job and highly entertaining! Same goes for Jahan!

 

Looking forward to more "Cooking With..." segments from you and the other chefs of the board.

 

Hmmm...imagine the culinary power of Joe, Jahan, and Chuck in the same kitchen. Wicked!

 

LOL! Igor the mixer...

[IceDragon]

I have to secomd what's already been said.

 

LMAO! Loved the ending! It would've taken me 3 hours to motivate myself into cleaning up, let alone actually doing it!

 

Looks tasty! I might just give this a try!

 

Cheers for an awesome TR!

[cfc]

Here's the recipe for your downloading pleasure (Word doc).

Apricot Cheesecake.doc

[zaneymon]

 

Very nice Chuck.

 

Might have to make that one day........

[TheRapidsNerd]

Thank you passing along the recipe Chuck!

[TheStig]

I just finished making mine, look for it soon!

[arrowfanman]

Thanks for the PTR Chuck!

 

Ironically both apricots and cheesecake are foods that I have to be "in the mood" to enjoy. But your cake really does look apetizing to me! Thanks for posting--I'll have to try this out when I feel like 30 minutes of washing dishes!

 

 

-Jahan

[pagemaster_b]

Sorry, Chuck, but apricots don't go with cheesecake. However, chocolate, cherries, and strawberries are excellent with cheesecake. (Okay, so I'm biased against apricots. Don't care for them.)

 

 

 

Hmm, Cornflake crumbs . . . Usually I go for grahm crackers. I just might have to give Cornflake crumbs a try.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and more Cooking with Chuck TRs.

[cfc]

^Fresh apricots aren't particularly good--but canned and dried 'cots (if they're dried properly) are pretty good. The apricot flavor of this cheesecake is quite understated, too.

 

^^Jahan, maybe you can make a model of the Matterhorn with this recipe.

[TheRapidsNerd]

Chuck, I really got a charge out of Igor The Mixer. Haver read this several times and cracked up at that part every single one. Just brilliant! Thanks for putting this one up.