cfc

^It is a valid criticism.

^^That was my first experience with the maple popcorn, too--I don't think they have it in the States. (I think the coconut popcorn at DisneySea completely rules! But the maple is pretty awesome.) From here on in this TR, though, there will be less Falafel per chapter, which is, indeed, unfortunate.

I think it indicates a level of acceptance between "bee's knees" and "the cat's meow." Or it might be close to "papa oo mow mow."

And yet my shoes survived that nasty green water; oh well, at least I cleared two out of the three obstacles I tried. Good stuff, Tom.

I'm not to sure about the awesome operations, since when I was standing in line for it they stopped the attraction and called in a mechanic, because someone had dropped a candy wrapper onto the netting under the track for queue protection. This closed down the ride at least 15 minutes. Well I got plenty of rides before we left for Expoland and rode Raptor without MCBR, awesome. Well, when we rode it, it was candy-wrapper free. Was it one of those foil wrappers? If one of those got into the wiring, it could cause a short, and the resulting explosions and fire would've killed you all! Would you want that? I was wondering when the shark-hat photo would make an appearance, Falafel.

Universal Osaka TR, take 3--clap! . . . we bid a fond farewell to Universal "Not in the US" Studios--an excellent park! OK--that's a wrap. . . . and the lights go on all over the park, . . . And as the sun sinks slowly in the west, . . . . . . but she was shocked back to consciousness by the utter pinkness of this place. Falafel actually fell asleep in here . . . Disturbing souvenirs make one hungry for disturbing food, such as this sausage-and-egg pizza (which was actually pretty good, if expensive). . . . and the most disturbing. Here's the second-most disturbing souvenir at Universal Osaka . . . Such as this. And now, ET, the LSD-fueled ride with many disturbing souvenirs. If you got it baby, flaunt it! Flaunt it! But at Hollywood and Vine, it's all about the sparkly "gling," baby! Yep--it's another Japanese helix! They make you empty your pockets and put your stuff in lockers before riding Hollywood Dream--but they refund your locker deposit after you ride.

The TR with teeth--Universal Osaka! . . . you are going to ride said carousel. More to come. . . . and you're hanging out with Falafel Girl, . . . . . . and it has a carousel . . . You know, if you're in a park with an Oz-themed land . . . Er, wardrobe, make-up--can we do something about this? I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille. All kiddie coasters should be air conditioned (and have awesome operations) like this one. Everytime I turn around, it's red buttons, doctor! Will this torment never end? Oo-o-o-o . . . pretty, red, buttonlike thing! Hmm--I hear that Charlie Brown had to use a butt double for the nude scenes in this one. Snoopy Studios, the kid's play area, is indoors and air conditioned, making it the best kid's play area ever. So he swallowed everybody in the gift shop whole! But this gave him a bad tummy ache, which made him so sad. But then he had some SharkTums, belched, and felt all better! The end! Don't you just love a story with a happy ending? Toothy thought the first tourist was so yummy, that he just had to eat more! Once upon a time, there was this puppet named Toothy McFang. He was tired of tourists always sticking their hands up his butt and playing with him, but never buying. So, one fine day, he decided to eat them all, starting with this poor sap. Hi! I'm Bruce the shark, and after I scarf down these goldfish, I'd like to tell you a heart-warming little story: "Toothy McFang--The Puppet with a Taste for Human Flesh!" Falafel and Bill agree--Japanese Jaws rules! The Japanese line up in an orderly fashion to have their picture taken with a dead fish. This is the only chick in a bikini that you'll see in this trip report.

Chapter 7: Be Prepared to See Things You’ve Seen Before, But in Japanese—Universal Osaka What do you get when you mix a half cup of Universal Studios California with a half cup of Universal Studios Florida, than season to taste with Islands of Adventure? You get Universal Osaka, one damn good theme park that is only a Men in Black and a Revenge of the Mummy away from being Universal’s best, I think. Universal Osaka resembles its Florida cousin, only easier to navigate and more compact, and it has most of the stuff you can find in Florida, California, or both: Jaws, Backdraft, Terminator, Shrek etc. Plus, it throws in IOA’s Spider-man and version of Jurassic Park. But Universal Osaka does have two rides you won’t find in the States: Hollywood Dream—This B&M mini-hyper is smooth and a lot of fun with some surprising pops of air (I’m also a big fan of B&M’s “chariot” trains). Plus, you get to pick from five different music tracks for your ride; I liked the Beatles’ “Get Back” the best. Dream gives you some great views of the park and is especially good at night, with all the sparkly lights on its trains. I wouldn’t mind seeing this ride at the U.S. Universals—it was one of my favorites of the trip. Snoopy’s Great Race—Vekoma makes good kiddie coasters. This model is themed like a movie set where Snoopy is the director (he even takes your on-ride photo). The ride is surprisingly fast and forceful, and it was probably the best kiddie or mini coaster on the trip. Plus, it’s indoors and air conditioned! Universal Osaka has much the same themeing as the Stateside parks, such as Amity, San Francisco, and New York, but it does have two unique areas: the disappointing Land of Oz, which is rather small and seems like just an afterthought (and a good place to for their truncated version of the musical Wicked), and Snoopy Studios, home of Great Race and a very nice place for kids. Oz was really the only letdown here—this park is great. Besides, you haven’t experienced Jaws and ET until you’ve heard them in Japanese. Next up—ole! But these folks had a slightly different result. More to come from Japan (not the US). This drop hardly got us wet a'tall. Hmm--I spy with my little eye . . . Jurassic Park. As much as one is impressed with their talent, one can't help but be a bit disturbed with the result. Ah, another attraction no longer in the US: Back to the Future! We had to buy an official BTTF spatula to pry Shane and Bill off the Delorean's hood on this rather hot day. Or if you'd rather bust someone's head than clean his ears, how about this club? And now, some Spidey gifts for the person who has everything. How about these lovely Spider-man ear picks? Spider-man is awesome in any language; Chuck, however, is a dork in any country. And so, off we went into Universal "Not in the US" Studios. Still, it would be nice if the US had one. . . . the Hollywood Dream coaster there! I assure you, miss, you are not in the US. For you will not find . . . Why, there's Old Glory--just like in the US! There's a confused bunch of tourists from all over the world--just like in the US. There's the Universal globe surrounded by Japanese tourists--just like in the US. Yep, there's Kong on City Walk--just like in the US. It really felt like I was back in the USA when I bumped into San Francisco's new crimefighting team at the train station: Ketchup Man and Saucy, the Boy Wonder!

What got me about the bumper cars was how it easy it was to spin out (and make others spin out)--that was pretty cool. Knoebel's is a great little park.

Hmm--this sort of reaction could merit a medical discharge of some kind. Oops! I said "discharge" in response to one of Guy's comments. We're all in trouble now!

Back in the late 1970s, my favorite would've been Turn of the Century at Marriott's Great America--that thing had airtime to spare before they "demonized" it. As for now, I guess Eurobug's Big Bad Wolf.

^Hmm--good point. Mike must wrestle in cargo shorts and an oversize t-shirt with a map of Jersey on it.

Congratulations on winning the championship, Larry--and my condolences for riding Grizzly (a ride that sucked when it was brand new). I think there's gonna be "rage in the cage" between Big Mike and Larry pretty soon. Mike, you would make an awesome bad-guy wrestler!

^Now I do regret missing the dessert ride.

^^"I wanna ride, ride the tiger!/It could be black and white/In the dead of night . . ." (Old Jefferson Starship song).

And now, Tivoli--a big step up from Tegarayama Ruin, er, Ruen. Well, we gotta typhoon to catch! Thanks for a fun afternoon, Tivoli. Only real men can ride a bear, punk! Yeah, I'm ridin' a bunny--what's it to ya? I love children--sauteed in butter! Having fun, kiddies? This delightful family park had one of the goriest haunted houses of the trip. This is Ryan's most favoritest credit ever--and he doesn't need a rail pass for it. . . . the KidTums credit coaster. There is a jet coaster in honor of the Odin, father of the Norse gods. At least it's a bit faster than . . . of all kinds. . . . and boobs-- . . . unusual statues, . . . . . . quaint buildings and fountains, . . . Yes, Tivoli, a nice, family park with beautiful scenery, . . . And now a bit of Copenhagen--Japan style!

One last set of Central Park pics. But, yay! We're going to get a credit for me! Tivoli to come later today. This picture really sums up the Tegarayama Ruen experience. They had shut down all the coasters due to rain, but I'm thinking this one has been out of commission for quite some time. Hey, when did LAX put in a water park? Oh, wait, this is Tegarayama Ruen. As you can see, the weather was still pretty good when we left Central Park. Then assume the position--for we are Diamond Lords! We proudly accept the rank of Silver Chieftain! You talkin' to me? Ain't nobody else here! But around the corner from the "Telling Witch" was something we Americans could understand--guns!

More from Central Park (Japan, not NYC). But it was all in Japanese, making it all Greek to me. Oh, well . . . Still more from Central Park to come. . . . and you have to answer a lot of questions and plug your skull into this computer. First, they give you this cool little skull to carry around . . . You can get your fotrune told here, I think. This, however, is just pure evil! It's kinda/sorta a wild mouse. Ginny is wondering just what the hell was that ride. Must . . . resist . . . bright . . . candylike . . . button . . . . . . ride the Conveyer Belt of Doom! Falafel does her happy dance to ward off evil, because she's about to . . . And Old Man Jet Coaster just keeps rollin' a-a-a-a-l-o-o-o-ng! Moe, Larry, and Curly show us the way. Mirrorana was the trippiest thing at Central Park. Yes, heed this warning! I smoke, ate, and drank in this area, and look at what happened to me! We couldn't afford the Crypt Keeper, so Bill filled in. The Horror Museum is brought to you by Sho King--they cook their food by dragon fire! (You have to be an oldtimer to understand this horrible pun.)

OK, I'm back from Knoebel's, so it's time again for the TR that just keeps on giving. Chapter 6: TPR 2, Typhoon 1—Central Park, Tegarayama Yuen, and Kurashiki Tivoli Park Mark Twain once said that everybody talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it. Well, that’s not entirely true. Elissa and Robb did manage to get everybody back to Nagoya, even though a typhoon churning up the coast did do its best to see that we’d have to spend the night in a train station. The day started out beautifully at Central Park, yet another mass of amusements up in the mountains of southern Japan. This quirky little park had five suitably quirky coaster credits—but those weren’t what interested me the most there. Diavlo—What’s a nice B&M inverted like you doing in a rustic setting like this? Seeing this Batman clone here was like seeing Nemesis at, say, Knoebel’s; it just didn’t seem right. But it was damn good ride, fast and forceful, so no complaints. Labyrinth—This was a sort of Wild Mouse with mine cars. Kind of rough, but still fun (lousy color scheme, though). Jet Coaster—Yes, another one of those enormous, rambling family coasters that in no way resemble jets in flight (or dolphins, for that matter). OK, but nothing special. Hurricane—A loop screw that’s OK through the former, but rough through the latter. If they took out those corkscrews and put in some airtime hills, they just might have something. Imorinth—This was a standard Wacky Worm (and credit number 200 for me). The park also had a first-generation Intamin Freefall that appeared to themed after a rusty oil derrick (a real “tower of terror”). Remember how these rides would pause for a moment then drop you? This one just shoves you over the edge and you plunge into sheer pain. But the coolest attraction at Central Park was the Castle Guardians walk-and shoot! Yes, you’re given a pump-action “shot gun,” and trained in SWAT team tactics. You have to blast your way through three “practice” rooms before being sent on a mission to blast aliens! (Be sure not to blast any hostages!) Then you’re assigned a rank. How many “Silver Chieftains” and “Diamond Lords” are out there? The “Shoking” Horror Museum walk through was pretty good, too, with plenty of surprises and red buttons to push. They actually give your group a flashlight (it’s pretty dark in there), and the biggest scare is when the op reaches out to take it back from you at the end. Central Park also had a good mirror maze and a bizarre “fortune-telling” attraction. All in all, a nice place to spend a few hours. Tegarayama Ruen, however, looked like a good place to pass up—a water park surrounded by a small amusement park, which was closed by the approaching typhoon, thus affording no amusement at all. We did not linger long. Kurashiki Tivoli was more like it —a beautiful little family park modeled on Copenhagen’s legendary Tivoli Gardens. KidTums got her first credit there (as many of you probably know), thanks to the Tivoli Railroad (which slower than the average Wacky Worm). Odin Express, yet another “jet coaster,” was fun thanks to its eccentric layout that shared a mountain with the park’s rather odd, bone-dry log flume (which featured a spiral lifthill out of the station). This “family” park also featured a fairly gory haunted walk though, in which your guide was a Viking who spoke Japanese (those Norsemen really got around), and the BEST SIMULATOR EVER—Ultraman! Yes, join the Science Patrol and help this Japanese super hero keep the world safe from guys in rubber monster suits. After Tivoli, it was a race against a typhoon. Well, there was mostly race and wait against a typhoon. Long story short, Robb and Elissa’s quick action got us back to Nagoya before all the trains shut down. (Thanks again for that, Alveys!) Next up—déjà vu all over again I don't have a sign, but this was credit no. 200--trust me. More to come from Central Park. It looks like Jeff really needs to find a squat toilet in this picture. Wait--I stand corrected! This was the creepiest thing at Central Park. Actually, it's the staff's fitness trail. Now you may think this is some sort of wild mouse. You see? Nothing at all like Batman! I'm Batma . . . er Diavlo! Ow! Ow! Ow! Level of concern rising! Now you have permission to be concerned! Hurricane's loop is certainly no cause for concern. (Hmm--just dawned on me how ironic that name was.) See? No weather to be concerned about at Central Park. "Bw-a-a-a-a!" to your concerns! Our bus driver was so unconcerned that he didn't even bother looking for the missing "e" in "Theme." But this sleep-deprived crowd in the hotel lobby doesn't seem too concerned. This was the day's cause for concern.

That ride seems to spend more time down than up.

Hey, a day without me is like a day without sunshine, or something. It was great meeting you and Gyendolynne and her folks at Euroburg.

Thanks for the sneak peek, Eric.

I remember the 3D movie. It was like a 3D racing movie with a motion simulator. I don't remember most of it, which is probably a good thing too. Was it that futuristic bumper-cars thing? That was the only bummer at Lagunasia--one great little park. PS--My shirt said "Go Postal," RIP Psyclone. Get yer mind outta the gutter.

^Hmm--actually, I did prefer Bandit (especially "Splash" Bandit) to White Canyon, Rich. Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but my point was that White Canyon (ditto for Cyclone) wasn't as bad as I had been led to believe. Maybe I've just had a few rides too many on Kings Dominion's Grizzly (White Cyclone really wasn't any worse than that, I thought). Jupiter, however, sucks.

Hmm--whoever is taking the picture is probably Bosley. You wouldn't even see Charlie, so you all have to be Angels. Sorry about that.