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Hot Times in Sweden, Part 2: Kolmarden Kolmarden hadn’t changed much since I was last there with TPR three years ago. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that. This Swedish zoo is great just the way it is. Why? Well, some zoos in the USA have amusement-park rides. Some even have coasters, even if they’re just “family” or “kiddie” coasters. But Kolmarden has . . . . . . a huge RMC in an incredibly beautiful location. This monster roars and tumbles and flips through and around rugged rock formations and beautiful woods. It’s hard to top this coaster’s setting, and our ERT session on it was loads of fun. My thanks to Robb and Elissa for that. But there’s more to Kolmarden than Wildfire. It’s an excellent zoo with a unique gondola safari ride and lots of animal exhibits. It’s also huge, and you get quite a workout stomping from the entrance all the way to Wildfire. I don’t have much more to add to what I said in my previous trip report about the park. Just put on your comfortable walking shoes and grab a bottle of water, because it’s a hot day. Let’s take a hike across Kolmarden. OK, where’s the entrance? It’s gotta be around here somewhere. “That’s right, hoomans. This way to the nice tiger. Yes, I’d love to have you for lunch.” Kolmarden is beautiful--and huge. A first tantalizing look at Wildfire. More on this bad boy later. “Oh, there you are, lunch, er, I mean, nice hoomans who I won’t eat!” There’s a beautiful view behind the Safari Restaurant, where we had lunch. The tiger was on his own. And here’s an idea of huge this park really is. Let’s see how the animals are doing on this hot-for-Sweden day. “Oh, boy, it's hot! Thought I was gonna black out passin’ that log!” “You might want to back off a bit, junior. I have a very high fiber diet.” “Now there’s something you don’t see every day, Chauncey.” “What’s that, Edgar?” “ Coaster enthusiasts taking photos of animals instead of random pieces of rides.” She insisted that I get her good side. “Er, little privacy, please?” “My one desire in life is to be an adorable meme.” Maybe it’s just the time of year, but this reminds of the woods the Monster wandered through in “The Bride of Frankenstein.” This is one of the best “safari” attractions anywhere. As you can see, it’s pretty popular. Up we go. It was hot that day, but the gondola works up a good breeze. Not only do you see lots of animals, but you get great views of Wildfire. More animals and Wildfire to come.

I've never been to Silverwood, but I've heard good things about their Giant Inverted Boomerang (that is, it actually runs consistently from day to day), and I knew that Knott's old Corkscrew found a new home there (I think you're right about it having two trains when it was in California). Thank you for increasing my knowledge of this park. The more you know . . .

^^^ Your account has stripped me of most of my desire to ride Universal's new coaster, no matter how good it is.

Well, there is a Haunt maze in the queue this time of year, so that's not too shocking.

One can never get enough Liseberg. I was lucky enough, along with a few others, to take a backstage tour of Balder, Valkryia, and Lisebergbanan, where Robb was shooting video and we were taking lots of photos. Thanks for being our guide, Pontus! Here’s the view from Balder’s control room. Remember: Al sees and knows all! Here’s an entrance to a haunt. The park was getting ready for Halloween. Valkyria is very photogenic. Three dudes in the front really know how to kick back and enjoy themselves. More happy riders on Valkyria. Balder is a bit trickier to photograph than Valkyria, but we got a good view of the first drop during the tour. There’s a wee bit of hair time on Valkyria, too. Hmm--these are either harnesses for climbing the lift hill, or Valkyria is into S&M. The water-filled dummies stand watch over Valkyria’s shop. On Walpurgisnacht, they come to life and roam the earth, looking for coaster enthusiasts to consume! Don’t touch the wheels, lest you risk the dummies’ wrath! “Captain’s log, supplemental. All is quiet on Valkyria’s bridge, but I still can’t shake the feeling that Loke has gone over to the Klingons.” How about a closer look at the elder statesman of Liseberg’s coasters: Lisebergbanan. We got a good look at Helix here, too. Helix says “hello” to Lisebergbanan. Poor, lost ducky! Someone done lost their chaw, too. Hmm--I’m a surprise guest star in this photo of Lisebergbanan’s shop. I look a bit “snooty.” Stats for those who care to translate them. Up close and personal with Lisebergbanan’s track. Thanks for letting us stop by, Lisebergbanan. Another angle showing why Balder is so awesome. 70 degrees! And our tour of control booths ended at Lisebergbanan. A look at Valkyria from atop Liseberg’s hill. I think the Swedish name for this ride translates as “Chuck Will Only Take Photos . . . . . . of Other People on this Ride.” It was nice to see Liseberg being lit up for the evening. I have ridden this flat before, but I wasn’t feeling great due to my Polish cold, so I skipped it. Are you ready to . . . er . . . rock? Yes, Larry is most definitely ready to rock. We had ERT on Balder and Helix with a British group that night, but I wasn't feeling great, so I called it a night. That’s all for now.

I'm glad people are enjoying this TR. Andy, that top photo of Untamed that you "quoted" is my favorite of all the ones I took. On we go. Hot Times in Sweden, Part 1: Liseberg Elissa summed up the last few days of the trip perfectly: “Who would’ve thought that the hottest days would be in Sweden?” It was warm in Poland, but the thermometer hit the 90s in a country know for cooler temps--defintely no parkas necessary. It also took a bit of doing to reach Sweden after we’d finished up in Poland. We were supposed to fly to Amsterdam to catch our flight to Gothenburg, but a massive refueling system failure at the former put an end to that. Fortunately, everyone was rebooked on four different flights, with one group flying in the next morning (which required more reshuffling of our schedule at Liseberg). I can’t thank Robb and Elissa enough for getting us all over this hurdle. In 2006, the last time I flew into Gothenburg airport, I remember the terminal being rather small (as I remember it being about the size of two average McDonald's restaurants). It’s grown a bit since then. I was in one of the groups who made it Gothenburg that evening. Some of us went over to Liseberg that night, but I stayed in, thanks to a nagging cold that I’d caught somewhere down the line (I blame Poland). This was my third visit to Liseberg with TPR, and the third time I’ve caught a cold going there. Some European virus has it in for me! I felt well enough the next day, though. What can I say about Liseberg that hasn’t been said 1,000 times before? That it’s one of the most beautiful urban amusement parks in the world? That it’s home to Balder, one of the best wooden coasters in the world? That Hotel Gasten is the best permanent haunt ever? That the staff and the food are great? All these statements are true. Let’s focus on what was new to me. I really enjoyed Valkyria, the park’s new B&M Dive Coaster. It was very well themed, and I liked how that part of the park, which includes Balder and Loke (a big “Frisbee” type ride), had been transformed into a “village” dedicated to myths and legends. I’d much rather ride Valkyria than Cedar Point’s Valravn. I also liked Helix, the park’s launched Mack coaster, even though it was having technical problems off and on all day. There’s some good air in parts, and I like how it interacts with Lisebergbanan, the park’s old Schwarzkopf coaster. Helix is a good addition to the park, even though I still prefer Europa’s Blue Fire to it. Unfortunately, I never got to experience Atmosfear, the park’s drop ride on what used to be its observation tower. It was out of commission that day--but it’s another good reason to return to Liseberg. But if you’ve made the climb up to Helix and Atmosfear only to find them closed, don’t worry. There’s a new version of Desperadoes up there, too. Don’t miss it! And a big thank you to Pontus Hallsberg, our excellent host at Liseberg. He's a credit to his park! Care to join me? I’ll try not to cough on you. I’m getting to know this hotel pretty well. Well, at least the hotel itself. But I still get screwed up and turned around trying to walk back to it from Liseberg. So that’s where it is! Just turn left before you reach Liseberg. Through this portal you will find . . . . . . naked people . . . . . . and Valkyria--but no naked Valkyries. Too late to get off now, folks. The dragon out front shoulda told ya. Balder got a snazzy new sign since my last visit. Looks like the station got a make over, too. “Great horny toads! If Odin tells me I gotta kill that rabbit, then I’m a’gonna kill that rabbit!” Balder is still a crazy air- and hair-time machine. I was on my own for a bit, so I decided to wander around and take more photos. Have you ever seen anyone more terrified than the woman in the third seat from the right in the front row? This group seems to be having more fun than that poor lady. “That poor woman! I want to give her a big Swedish hug.” That’s Loke, and it certainly looks like a ride the God of Mischief would build. Helix is more my speed than Loke . . . . . . as is Lisebergbanan. This classic Schwarzkopf got some love last year . . . . . . not to mention new trains. It's still a very good terrain coaster with great views of the park and city. I had ice cream for lunch. Don’t judge. Everybody made it in time for the ritual signing of Balder. Pontus said, “Only those who are worthy may lift the Sharpie of Thor.” Here’s my lefthanded handwriting and part of my face. I couldn’t find my signature from previous trips, but I wasn’t entirely sure where to look, or even if those particular pieces of wood were still there. But Balder rocks on! Oh, there’s my Ten of Diamonds. Must’ve fell out of my sleeve. Here is my one terrifying photo of the eerie Hotel Gasten! It’s really scary, kids! More to come.

It's great to see the "Skyway" return to a Disney park--and serve a practical purpose.

If you didn't, Chandu's feelings would be hurt. You don't want to hurt the poor kitty's feelings, right?

I'd say not as forceful as Schwarzkopf loops, but still fun. Although my favorite coaster on the trip was Untamed, Lech was the next one--and the most pleasant surprise.

FIXED! Best Haunt in Europe!

They had them at Kings Dominion last year, too.

It's not an "upcharge" event in Williamsburg (unless you spring for Quick Queue, of course), so it doesn't have the scale of the Tampa version. But it adds a fun dimension to a fall day at the park.

I'm looking forward to visiting Tampa's Howl-o-Scream for the first time in years this October. I liked it back then, and it looks good now.

I think it was just a "festival" type event with Polynesian style food and drink.

Well, different strokes for different folks, I guess. Personally, I think Europa is the best park in Europe, while Energylandia, er, isn't.

Yep--there's still more Legendia. I admit to feeling some trepidation when approaching this ride. See? It’s diabolic! Evil helices! These restraints look like the work of Satan! Note the backward-facing seat on the last car. Diableska, indeed! Godspeed, you brave people! But this ride wasn’t bad at all. The loops were fun. Yep--another nice surprise. Really? What sort of tricks does Boruta do? Hey, that’s a good one. I can hire out as a stilt walker without stilts. Here’s the daily gondola. Yes, they had a skyride with one gondola. I think they were just testing it. How about some more Lech? The first drop is that steep? Holy crap! Welcome to Gray Out City. We hope your butt enjoys this moment of not being sat on. “Have fun stormin’ the castle.” Vekoma, ya done good again. Who’s up for a “Hawaii Party”? Aloha! Looks like a tent for a large flea circus. Who’s ready for a nice, relaxing ride? This ride is very old, but it looks great. Whee! The breeze from that propellor feels good on a hot day. Larry is either feeling sick or showing off his killer Energylandia shades. One last look at Lech because it’s so damn good. No legend at Legendia is greater than that of Sir Larry the Mighty! That’s all for now.

The Trip’s Most Pleasant Surprise: Legendia While I’d heard about Energylandia, especially when Hyperion opened, I knew very little about Legendia--except that its new Vekoma ride (Lech Coaster) was definitely better than average. Fortunately, we received a nice guided tour of the park and were filled in on some of its history. Legendia started out as essentially a city park, which included a zoo and aquarium in addition to an amusement park. But a new company came in few years ago with the goal of converting the amusement park into more of a theme park. They decided to go with the myths and legends of Central Europe to pull the place together. You enter via the Magical Village, which leads to a lake. Other sections ringing the lake (clockwise) are: Magical Forest (home of Bazylisek, an elaborate dark ride) Valley of Dreams (home of DreamFlight Airlines, a very old ride similar to the Captive Flying Machines at Blackpool) Magical Mountains (home of Lech Coaster) Adventures Valley (home of Diabelska Petla, a double looping coaster) What they’ve accomplished so far is impressive. For example, Lech Coaster is a great ride--packed with air time and very forceful (riders tend to gray out a bit after the first drop). I’m not entirely sure what the “legend” of Lech is, except that it involves a giant bird, but that’s OK. At least it spawned a great coaster and another win for Vekoma in Poland. This was the most pleasant surprise of the trip. I wasn’t too sure about Diableska Petla (“Diabolic Loop”), the park’s double looping coaster. This ride, built by the French company Soquet, was a transplant from the UK, and it looked a bit, well, questionable. However, it turned out to be a pretty good coaster that didn’t try to beat us to death. It also offered the choice of riding backward in the rear car (I stuck with forward). Legendia also sports a trackless shooting dark ride that any major theme park would be proud to call its own: Bazyliszek. The premise is that you’re defending your village from a Basilisk, a monster with a serpent’s body and the head of a bird, and its minions. The ride reminds me a bit of Knott’s Voyage to the Iron Reef, in that it uses a lot of video inside physical sets. It’s great fun, with plenty of targets to shoot at. As I said earlier, Legendia is a work in progress. The remaining two coasters were Zyklons, one of which was closed for maintenance, while the other was having issues (I didn’t ride that one). But the park is on the right track and is worth a visit for Lech and Bazyliszek alone. My thanks to the staff at Legendia for excellent guided tour during TPR’s filming sessions on Lech and Diableska Petla (not to mention a very good lunch)--and to Robb and Elissa for arranging such a fun day there. Welcome to Legendia! The sun is shining, and it’s going to be a bit hot today. But the park’s entrance is colorful and welcoming. The park map out front is an interesting mix of Polish and English. Aw, cute little feller! He’d be a good minion for Angus McNasty. Magical Village is the park’s version of “Main Street.” Unlike Energylandia, Legendia seems to have an actual plan. They didn’t just slap up random stuff. Lech Coaster, the most-pleasant surprise of the trip, is across the lake. More on this ride later. Like Casey Kasem, keep reaching for the stars! This building is the home of another reason Legendia is better than Energylandia--a trackless, well-done shooting dark ride. The queue is beautiful. I guess it would help me understand the story a bit better if I could read Polish. I think Jack Skellington is their interior decorator. They put a lot of thought into theming the queue as some sort of monster museum. This is the monster we need to worry about, but . . . . . . there are also vampires! Hey, they have ride ops and they wait until everyone has boarded safely before dispatching the ride vehicle! What a novel concept! Legendia is a very pretty park. . . . . . . with a bit of quirkiness . . . . . . . and the best roller coaster in Poland (at least the day we were there). Another nice queue. Smiling on a Vekoma? This is unheard of! Steve likes to stand around and hand people Gorilla Tape. It’s a curious hobby. Their excitement is palpable. If you love Lech Coaster and want to have it’s children, raise your hands. If you love it but not quite that much, keep your hands down. Wait for it. There it is! I love this station fly-through. Watch out for the big bird! Best coaster shirt ever. More to come.

At least Carowinds has a decent shooting dark ride.

I've never had a good ride on Voyage later than the spring. It becomes a jack-hammering mess as the season grinds on.

Let's stroll through the Terror-tories as it gets dark, shall we? The sun sets on the Rhine River, and HOS takes on even more terror . . . . . . with some cuteness. Looks like trouble brewing on Ripper Row. Yep--the Ripper has been busted! Or has he? I like the lighting in Ireland. Jack has redecorated in his own fashion. This is the Control Bar, where you can trigger scares at various places in the park at the touch of a button--for a fee, of course. One must be careful when walking from Ireland to France. There are werewolves . . . . . . and the Dreaded Blue Fog of Doom. France is the home of the Fool's Court. "Why aren't you laughing? I'm a fool!" This is a scare-and-party zone. This fool is ready to party with you . . . to the death! Angry Viking spirits haunt Axe Alley in New France. Nice job parking the boat, Sven! Er, I hope this isn't "Sven." "Oh, Sven is gonna have your head--bet on it!" They have some flexible bloodsuckers in Vampire Point (Germany). I like the little projection show on the "No Escape" rooms building. Hey, no smoking over there! Ya wanna burn the place down? The Garden of the Souls path is creepier after dark. Ghostly bride and groom. Time to head out. Be sure to come back on October 2 for Monster Stomp on Ripper Row . . . . . . er, or not. Thanks for reading.

A Stroll Through Howl-o-Scream 2019 Busch Gardens kicked off Halloween a little early by opening Howl-o-Scream last weekend. This is the 21st year for the park's annual haunt. Much of what they did during last year's event is still in place, but there were some noteworthy changes. For example, the event's old icon Jack, who returned to HOS last season, is playing a bigger role. Like last year, he has his own "No Escape" room--Jack's Twisted Terror. But his old show, Jack Is Back, has returned to Ireland. Yes, get down and boogie with Jack's stilt-walking scarecrows to ABBA and other disco music from the 1970s. It's definitely a family show, and guests seem to love it. There's a photo op with Jack after the show, too. Fiends is no longer playing at the Abbeystone Threatre. Dr. Freakenstein, Igor, and his naughty nurses have instead taken up residence in the Vault: Overtaken maze in Germany. Speaking of mazes, Cornered (also in Germany) is gone, leaving six mazes. Here's how they stack up (from best to worst): Distorted Dimensions--a dimensional vortex has scrambled reality in old Sterling Manor. Bizarre creatures now roam a "Wonderland" version of our reality in search of victims (Germany in the old DarKastle building). Dystopia--a new world order of cyber people have risen after the Apocalypse, and it demands your total obedience. This maze tells a pretty good story, and I like the "cyber monsters." It could use a better finish (Italy, Escape from Pompeii). Lumberhack--an old lumber camp is full of undead woodsmen with chainsaws who hunger for your flesh! This one was pretty weak last year, but now boasts a bit more action (Germany, entrance on the left of the Festhaus). Vault: Overtaken--this one is a mishmash of old HOS mazes and icons from past year. It made sense during the 20th anniversary last year, but seems a bit off (too random) for this year. The stuff with Dr. Freakenstein is the best part--maybe they should've given him the whole maze (Germany, old Drachen Fire Station). Frostbite--this "ice castle" maze has never quite worked, and this is the third time they've redone it a bit. It really needs a strong villain to hold it together, but they did throw in a new big monster this year (Germany, DarKastle building). Circo Sinistro--this creepy circus maze was a bit weak, but it usually gets better as the season grinds on. Last weekend, it was a bit blah and not much happened in the tents (Festa Italia near the Roman Rapids). I was a bit surprised that the Terror-tories (scare zones) were better than some of the mazes this year. There was more activity, and monsters, than in past years. Shall we go in? This will largely be a tour of the Terror-tories, with a look at the shows and the Pantheon construction site. Follow me. This Grim Reaper gets around. He was on the road to the parking lot one year, and also spent some time in France. Looks like the Red Skull found a new gig. Hail Hydra! Sheesh! How careless, leaving your body parts just anywhere. Ripper Row is not quite open for business. Is he now? Oh--there he is! And he's brought a few fiends, er, friends with him. All will boogie in Ireland under pain of death! Night Beats: Revamped is a jukebox show in the Festhaus (mostly 1980s-90s stuff). The maze formerly known as Cornered. Get yer HOS merch here! Aw, aren't they adorable? Teenagers can use this shirt in lieu of a costume when trying scam Halloween candy. The path to the Garden of the Souls (Italy). Here's the soul of an old Italian gondolier. He even speaks to you in Italian. Another lost soul. OK, is everybody clear on which way to go? Welcome to Sideshow Square in Festa Italia. Not even the park staff is safe from the evil clowns! "Ya wanna bite of my sucker? It's soooo good!" Shall we have a look at the Pantheon site before it gets too dark? The Festa Italia train station was closed for a few weeks, but it's open again. They ripped out all the plants behind this construction wall, though. They also cut this path in the hill on the other side of the station. Here's a closer look at it. A big crane in the sunset. Lots of dirt . . . . . . and lots of footers, which look kind of spooky in the dark. More to come.

Fenix was a pleasant surprise, as I don't care for B&M Wing Coasters overall. I think it's because the ride doesn't seem to "meander" like the other ones do--it goes through its "tricks" quickly.

The bat-themed Boomerang is probably the best of the small coasters and could be called a "family" ride. The dragon-themed Vekoma suspended coaster was OK, too. I think I would have swapped a few of those kiddie coasters for a decently themed Vekoma mine train, if I were running the place.

Yes, there's still more Energylandia to come! This “Viking-themed” mouse was also, er, not good. But they got a great deal on this scary dragon statue. Would you try a “spit cake”? They looked pretty good. I didn’t get a photo of Speed’s infamous splashdown. Experiencing it was quite enough. If you’re going to ride something called Frutti Loop . . . . . . you should hide your head in shame. Do not remove this tag under penalty of law. This is a bit more acceptable than Frutti Loop. Not so sure if this is. Yeah, this is a step down from Frutti Loop. The Viking section was kind of nice. Here’s one of the nice Vikings now. The glasses really make the outfit. Yes, it looks sufficiently Nordic, but . . . what the hell’s that? Looks like Mater’s alcoholic cousin found himself a gig. But why is this here? You had to walk through a tunnel under a road to get to the new Dragon Zone. It looked pretty nice and Game of Thrones-like. Behold Zadra--and a honest-to-god dragon! I have no doubt this is an excellent ride. But there was some work yet to be done while we were there. For now we must be content . . . . . . with this . . . . . . and a Roller Skater. Then again, there is a “brewery salon,” which could turn out to be one of the park’s best attractions, when they get more than one tap working (well, this was a soft opening). Let’s have a look at the park’s best ride: Formula. Vekoma did themselves proud with this launched coaster. Smooth and just forceful enough. I think everybody in the group liked this ride. Vekoma, my hat’s off to you. Well done! Let’s close with one more nice thing about Energylandia--this cake. Kudos for the cake! Legendia awaits.

“Happy Valley Poland”: Energylandia Energylandia has the potential to be the greatest mini-golf course ever. That is, most of the park’s park’s theming looks like it was bought during a half-off sale from some company that specializes in making statues designed as obstacles for putt-putt golfers to circumvent in their quest for a free game. OK, that’s a bit harsh. Energylandia is a good-sized, fairly new park in Poland that seems in quest of an identity. I didn’t know what to make of it. The park did have a nice “Scandinavian” section, and the new “Dragon Zone” (which was soft opening while we were there) looked pretty good, too. Hyperion, the big Intamin coaster out front, certainly looked impressive and boasted an elaborate, sci-fi themed queue. The new RMC, Zadra (not ready when we were there), should be excellent, and Formula, a new launched Vekoma coaster, was a great ride. But then there’s the rest of the place--a visual cacophony of fiberglass dragons, demons, aliens, and giant flowers, not to mention a huge collection of kiddie coasters. This is what brought to mind the Chinese theme parks I’d visited with TPR on a past trip. But, in all fairness, the Happy Valley parks usually boasted more-defined themed areas (such as a “circus” or a “Wild West” town). Energylandia had “zones” (such as “Dragon Zone” or “Extreme Zone”), and it looks like they just slapped some random thing up wherever they had space. Outside of the still-under-construction Zadra, there were three noteworthy coasters at Energylandia: Hyperion--this huge Intamin coaster with a 270-foot first drop was, let’s say, a mixed bag. If you sat in the two inside seats, you could get a good ride with some crazy air. But the train rattled badly, and a ride in the outside, “wing” seats was uncomfortable, at best, and painful, at worst. Formula--this launched Vekoma was the second-most pleasant surprise of the whole trip (the first-most pleasant would be the next day). The launch was nice and forceful, and the ride is smooth with air time to spare. Great work, Vekoma! You’ve come a long way from the SLC and the Boomerang. Speed--this Intamin Water Coaster was the wettest ride ever this side of Bluto’s Bilge Rat Barges. The coaster part of it was OK, but the finish! I was sitting in the back row on the right side. We hit the last splashdown, an enormous wave engulfed the front of the boat, and the back of the boat filled with water up to my knees. Er, was it supposed to do that? I thought the damn thing was going to sink for a moment, but the water drained out as we returned to the station. Check out Robb’s video if you don’t believe me. Energylandia is also home to the worst shooting dark ride ever. I think it was named Monster Attack, and it was like a ride you’d see in a cheesy, made-for-TV horror movie in the 1980s. The operations were rather odd. There was no real “station,” and no sign of any ride ops. But a small vehicle did stop in front of Larry and me. Larry got in, and I had one foot in the vehicle and one on the platform when the thing dispatched. What the hell? We then rolled around a warehouse full of generic “alien” statues, with some light, sound, and fog effects and guns that may or may not have worked. I guess I’ve rambled about Energylandia long enough. But I think I should end this narrative with something positive. Hmm . . . Formula was excellent, the new Dragon Zone looked nice, and the food there was pretty good. Care to join me inside? It was pretty gloomy that day, so the photos are not as good as I’d like, but maybe it’s for the best. Who knows? “Hi, folks! Welcome to Energylandia! My name is . . . er . . . I don’t know what my name is. Something to do with ‘energy,’ I guess.” I guess this is, er, Energlylandia Guy's castle? Looks like the park got a good deal on old Vekoma seats. They don't recline, though. I think Western Camp is the park’s official resort, which makes sense as there is absolutely no “Wild West” theming here. The park map does indicate that a “Hotel Zone” is going to be built. Many celebrities have endorsed Energylandia, ranging from, er, this guy . . . . . . to Angerfist. I’m surprised he doesn’t have his own attraction. Our first objective was a filming session on Hyperion. OK, Hyperion. Don’t force me to get sideways with you! The ride had a rather complicated back story that unfolded throughout the queue. Something about testing a new spaceship that looked suspiciously like an Intamin coaster train. Here we go into space! That’s why it’s so dark. There is no gravity . . . in space! Prepare to turnaround . . . in space! In space, no one can hear your train rattle. Will these folks survive their journey to the "final frontier"? I wonder if the guy in white and blue in the front row is some Polish superhero. He does seem to be wearing Spandex. Can you putt the ball through the dragon and campfire, or do you have to go around them? The par is 3, right? So that's what happened to Kings Dominion's volcano. OK, you have to like any Vekoma Family Suspended Coaster in which the train is swallowed by a dragon. Welcome to Monster Attack! They should have Sally come in and install one of those “North Pole Adventure” rides in this building. It would be a 1,000% improvement. I think this is more accurate than any of the park’s computerized wait-time signs, in which nothing had more than a 10-minute wait no matter how full the queue was. I detect a double joke here. Well played, Energylandia! What’s the name of this ride? “The Bat”? “Vampire”? “Vampire Bat”? Oh, of course. How silly of me. This is probably the third- or fourth-best coaster in the park, pre-RMC. At least they could’ve named it “Bat-a-Rang.” (Seriously, would anyone from DC Comics have even noticed?) I think Angerfist would pay good money to sponsor one of those two rides. Wow! What a facade! There must be a great ride here. Oh, crap. Ah, the oil-splattered charm of the old Vekoma! You know, whatever the trains or restraints they use . . . . . . that’s still just plain messed up. Hey, the SLC has its own gift shop. Made from the skulls of previous riders. More to come.