Canobie Coaster

The main reason to get FastLane Plus was Volcano and now that's out of the equation.

That thing looks massive at the end of the midway.

Awesome photos! Cedar Point is such a gorgeous park.

Pony Express didn't try to kill you; the person with the unsecured loose articles did.

Parc Asterix Parc Asterix was neck and neck with Disneyland Paris for the most anticipated park on my trip. Few parks can match a Disney for me, but there’s one archetype that can- a well-themed park with top-end thrill rides (ex. Silver Dollar City, Busch Gardens, etc). And boy did Parc Asterix deliver. I had zero familiarity with the Asterix comics going into my visit. And in no way did that negatively impact my visit. After my visit, I found that Asterix is to ancient history as Veggie Tales is to religion. The cartoonish twist on history presented a very unique and cheery atmosphere. Parc Asterix was gorgeous. I started with Vol D’Icare on the way to Zeus and it took my breath away…just not in the good way. This coaster’s restraints are bizarre; it’s a sliding t-bar like a bobsled coaster. MCBR 1 did nothing. MCBR 2 did nothing. MCBR 3 tried to give me a vasectomy. Calling the stop abrupt is an understatement. The stop on a Schwarzkopf Wildcat is abrupt. This was just brutal. The t-bar delivered a direct shot to my nuts. Outside of that, Vol D’Icare is your average family coaster. Just be careful it doesn’t prevent you from having a family. 4 out of 10 Guys, wear a cup for this one. No more messing around, it was time for the panty-wearing Zeus. And I have to be honest, I was both nervous and excited to ride Tonnerre de Zeus. On one hand, I knew Zeus in peak form was a world-class coaster, as evidenced by multiple first place finishes in the Mitch Hawker poll. On the other hand, I’ve heard Zeus is temperamental and can run like absolute doggy doo doo. Laugh at my panties and I will strike you down. The verdict? It definitely wasn’t running in peak form. Some of it may have been attributed to it being a cooler day, but the ride sounded like death. The screeching was so bad I can still hear it all the way back in Boston. 2019 POVs are coming in about 10 seconds slower than older POVs. Yikes! But even a hobbled Zeus is still a great wooden coaster. The first drop is arguably the best of any traditional wooden coaster. This one runs a rare 7-car PTC train. The yank combined with the drop’s steepness provides some insane ejector air. There's also another drop after the big helix with airtime rivaling Raven's 5th drop. Zeus didn't have as many airtime moments as expected, but those present were awesome. Where Zeus truly shined was the laterals. I know Zeus is the God of Thunder, but you could convince me he’s the God of Laterals too. The sustained lats in the 540 degree helix aren’t far behind the Legend’s famous double helix. You also have great lats on several turnarounds and there are a few sneaky hills with kinks on the drop. Zeus was bleeding speed and screeching quite loudly after the big helix. Those bunny hills in the middle of the ride looked ripe for airtime, but there was none to be had. Fortunately the drops off the turnarounds and on-ride photo drop still provided nice pops of ejector air simply because of how steep they were. I also want to note that I didn’t find the coaster rough at all. That included multiple rides in wheel seats. I’ve noticed a lot of wooden coasters with aggressive, lateral-heavy layouts often are misclassified as rough. Zeus is one of those woodies. Sure it’s bouncy at points, but there was a time before RMCs. As I experienced it, Tonnerre de Zeus was a great coaster capable of so much more. Zeus at its best is right up there with the best of the best. This ride has some serious laterals and ejector air. I just wish it was able to maintain its speed all the way through. 8.5 out of 10 Zeus is a difficult ride to photograph. Most of it takes place in a backstage area. Unfortunately Zeus was crawling by this point, but it was a nice photo op at least. Normal disk’os are enjoyable flats, but not must rides for me. I always make a point to ride disk’o coasters. No I’m not a credit whore. Well I am, but you know what I mean. I don’t count disk’o coasters And Parc Asterix has one of the best in Discobelix. These rides all seem to have the same cycle and forces. What differentiates this one is the location on the pond and two neat effects- a synchronized splashdown effect and a flamethrower. Just be sure to ride this one early since it gets one of the longest queues in the park. 8 out of 10 The disk'o coasters are way better if you ask me. It also helps when they have water. And fire. Parc Asterix so ridiculously efficient. For example, on Discobelix they put up a temporary barrier after each ride. This prevents the usual most-pit of people boarding of exiting. They also have two separate wheelie bins that go back and forth to expedite loading. The park’s newest coaster is Pegase Express, an out-and-back version of Firechaser Express. And this may just be one of the snappiest family coasters out there. This coaster is loaded with quick changes of direction. There’s no airtime on these, but they can keep even a seasoned enthusiast on their toes. This is particularly true during the wild backwards segment. The highlight is undoubtedly the finale. I don’t want to spoil the show scene, but I will say it would make Universal proud. Gerstlauer needs to make more of these family coasters. They have super low height requirements and do a little bit of everything. 7 out of 10 This looks like your usual family coaster. As does this. But this looks like a legit coaster. And Pegase Express is quite good for all ages. Goudurix. It’s the name that shall not be said among coaster enthusiasts. Rumor has it, just saying the name causes coaster enthusiast to crap worse than a patient during colonoscopy prep. I felt like I was walking into my own funeral as I boarded the train in the back row no less. I also want to note that Goudurix’s Rapidus entrance is a royal pain to find. On all the other rides, it was located adjacent to the main entrance. For Goudurix, you need to loop around the kiddie plane ride and head down this nondescript, dirt path for the hotel. Maybe it’s Asterix saying you don’t want to ride this. Oh boy, Goudurix time. FYI this is how you get to the Goudurix Rapidus Pass entrance. The first drop was enjoyable. It delivered a nice pop of air. The airtime felt like the last meal of a patient on death row. Then came the butterfly. I closed my eyes in fear, but something was amiss. There was no headbanging. Instead I was blown away by a ridiculously forceful element. Then came the batwing. Lightning couldn’t strike twice, could it? By Zeus it did! Yes there was a rough jolt exiting the element, but that was the only rough spot on the entire ride. By this point, I relaxed my guard and fully enjoyed the forceful vertical loop and snappy corkscrews, which were also fairly smooth. I actually liked Goudurix. WTF? And my ride wasn’t a fluke either, I rode it multiple times! I came to the conclusion this cannot be the same Goudruix everyone else has ridden. I have no clue what they did- retracking, new trains, sold their soul to the devil- but whatever they did, it worked. 7 out of 10 It looks like death, but it rides like a dream. I think I only hit my head once. I couldn't believe it. B&M’s best and worst inverts are usually pretty consistent. Best- Nemesis, Montu, or Pyrenees. Worst- Silver Bullet, Patriot, or OzIris. The latter always surprised me because of the insane level of theming. It looked like a next level Montu. So I figured the ride itself must be really bland. OzIris simply wasn’t good…it was exceptional. It all began with the first drop. And what a first drop it was! It started with bonafide ejector air (on an invert!) and then transitioned to some wicked laterals. This drop felt wildly out-of-place on an invert and it immediately showed me that OzIris had balls. The entry into the dive loop provided another surprise pop of air before dishing out the heavy Gs trademark of an old-school invert. That’s followed by a snappy overbank and a powerful vertical loop. I thought all the new B&Ms were supposed to be forceless? Even the Immelmann had some force and the final helix was reminiscent of Silver Bullet. But what separated OzIris was the airtime. I already mentioned the first drop, but there were 2 other sizable drops and 2 bunny hills with air. The drop before the zero-G was even ejector air for good measure. If you prefer hangtime, you get that in the traditional zero-G roll and this overstretched corkscrew. Call me crazy, but OzIris is my new favorite invert. Epic drop, forceful loops, leg-numbing helices, floaty zero-G rolls, airtime, and immersive theming. It really is the complete package. I’m not sure what Parc Asterix has been feeding OzIris, but it was running like a bat-out-of-hell. 10 out of 10 If you told me I'd like this more than Tonnerre de Zeus, I'd call you crazy. If you told me I'd like this more than Nemesis, I'd call you crazy. Well I guess I better call you crazy because OzIris was awesome! I knew it'd be well-themed, but it packed a mighty punch too. Ok I still can't figure out if this is a zero-G roll or a drawn out corkscrew. SOS Numerobis was one of the rare attractions that was a walk-on. Needless to say I hopped aboard for the credit. It’s one of those small Zierer coasters with the comically long train. It gave not one, not two, but three laps and was heavily wooded. Otherwise it was nothing special. 3 out of 10 Smile for the not on-ride photo. Trace du Hourra is a bizarre bobsled coaster. Most bobsleds are themed to…you know…bobsledding. Instead, Trace du Hourra is themed to a caveman that learns to walk and excitedly runs down a hill screaming “hooray” I swear I’m not making that up; that’s seriously the theme. It’s also shockingly tall. The lift can accommodate multiple trains at once. Now I really wanted to like this ride. It was long, beautifully landscaped, and had some nice helices. But it had an Achilles heel, the same Achilles heel as all Mack bobsleds- vibrations. 5 out of 10 Those dispatches. <3 It's so weird seeing a non-white bobsled. One of the biggest benefits of TPR is knowing the can’t miss non-coasters at each park. For Asterix, one of those rides was the Defi de Cesar. I never thought there’d be a mad house with a more elaborate pre-show than Hex at Alton Towers, but Defi de Cesar matches it. It was a neat twist to have the main ride themed to a ship on rough waters. I guess conventional themes are too mainstream for Asterix. The inverting effect was top-notch on this version. I believe the ride system is identical to SFNE’s, as you get some serious sliding throughout the ride. 8 out of 10 Hey I know him! I felt obligated to use my Rapidus Pass on all available rides, so against my better judgment I rode Grand Splatch. I figured it’d be your garden variety shoot-the-chute ride, but it had a far more expansive layout. I think the entire ride was 5-6 minutes in length. But as the fellows with small feet will tell you, it’s more important what you do with the length. Most of the ride is spent slowly meandering through a themeless forest. It felt markedly out-of-place at a park with Asterix theming out the wazoo. There were drops to break up the monotony at least. The first one was puny, but the second one was a decent double-down. 6 out of 10 There was a splash, but it wasn't particularly soaking. By comparison, Epidemais Croisiere was far more enjoyable. The ride traded drops for cute little scenes from the Asterix comics. 7 out of 10 Note how the boy in front is sitting. The park’s best water ride was the log flume, Menhir Express. Like Grand Splatch, it mostly themeless. Except on Menhir Express, the boats actually navigate the trough faster than a snail dragging a barbell. Plus the drops are great too. I don’t know which drop I prefer. Both give surprise pops of air. The second is considerably larger; however, the first has an uphill segment much like Splash Mountain or Ripsaw Falls. 9 out of 10 I love Hopkins flumes. Oxygenarium may be the park’s most unique water ride. This is one of those spinning raft slides for the dry park. SFNE used to have one in Joker’s current spot. As a water ride, it fails spectacularly. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten wet from this type of attraction. But as a spinning ride, it thrives. The descent spins faster than a tea cup. The one at SFNE only turned right, which allowed the spinning to be maintained the whole way down. Oxygenarium changes direction a few times, which provided a momentary reprieve from the spinning. Some may appreciate the reprieve, but I wanted to go balls to the wall the whole way down. 6 out of 10 It was nigh impossible to photograph the ride itself due to all the trees. For food, I went with the Restaurant du Lac. It was a full-service sit-down restaurant with quite the atmosphere. I went with the hamburger and it was probably the best meal I had during my time in France. That sounds sad, but it was actually a fantastic hamburger. The restaurant looks like the produce section of a supermarket. No seriously, this was my best meal in France. And it included this cocktail. It’s also worth noting that the park has one of those innovative aerial bars. I strongly considered riding just to get some off-ride pictures of Zeus (it’s dang near impossible to photograph from ground level), but on-ride photography wasn’t allowed. Makes sense considering booze and coordination do not mix. Do you want to get drunk... and high? At the same time? Oh and they had dolphins. Because one of the dolphins had just given birth, they turned the show into more of an informational session, but it was better than outright cancelling it like many parks would. They're not as good as wiener dogs, but they're close. I did miss out on Transdemonium though. The ride was quietly closed for the 2019 season. All of the ride’s signage is still intact, but the park scrubbed all mentions of it from the park maps and website. I did not have good luck with ghost houses on this trip. I was hell-bent on maximizing my chances of a world-class ride on Zeus, so I finished the day with an hour marathon. Most woodies heat up as the day progresses, but something didn’t seem quite right. If anything, Zeus was running slower and it was definitely screeching even more loudly. After my second ride, the park called maintenance and had them grease the pre-lift. This caused the screeching to subside considerably and maybe it started getting faster. But it was too little too late. The next time I visit Asterix, I’m going to intentionally visit on a rainy day so the Zeus is all nice and lubricated. If you look off to the left, you can see the maintenance worker who brought out the miracle grease. 13 rides later! I honestly don’t know if I preferred Disneyland Paris or Parc Asterix. Disney is Disney, but Parc Asterix shined in every single area. The park was gorgeous. The landscaping was top-notch like so many European parks. The park had great theming and operations were fast. From a ride perspective, Asterix is only going to get better. OzIris is an incredible invert and I have no doubt Tonnerre de Zeus is still capable of being a world-class ride. But most importantly, there’s that shiny new Intamin on the horizon in 2021. God that ride looks incredible.

Agreed, and I say that as one who very much likes most of Knott's coasters. I think you and I are the only ones who actually like Pony Express. Space Mountain is the shiznit. I enjoy Pony Express, but it's always closed or it breaks down when I'm in line.

The small Huss ones focus on the spinning, but on the larger ones, the spinning is slow enough that you don't really feel it. The large ones feel more like a Screamin' Swing if you enjoy those.

Is that an inverted Pinfari death machine? How rough is that thing because it sounds like a bad idea? Nice photos of a park I've never heard of!

Also if everyone's main gripe is about the length, I just think back to Twisted Cyclone. When it was announced, everyone complained it was missing the third lap. But once it opened, the conversation switched to how awesome and insane that ride is. That's assuming all these leaks are real, which is a big assumption.

I tried two years ago but a day of heavy rain kept them closed and basically every park in the region...except Waldameer because they're awesome. I think I was one of like 10 people in the park all day and they apologized for closing early at 8 pm. This is definitely on my radar when I make it out for Steel Curtain.

If you're a theming guy, Disney is a must. Yes they're more expensive than other parks, but I was able to fit them in while I was in college by cutting out in all other areas (hotel, food, etc). You also get what you pay for with Disney.

Literally every fan base ever for every park. Too many people in this hobby are entitled and ungrateful. Even when rides like Steel Vengeance or Yukon Striker get announced there are people who have to complain cause it wasn't EXACTLY what they wanted or assumed it would be. The b*tching will increase once it's officially announced and we have all the details. The one thread I don't suspect this would be an issue in is the Michigan's Adventure thread. I remember last year when they were begging for Knott's old Boomerang and Firehawk. They'll take anything at this point.

I love how Kings Island fans have been clamoring for a giga and when they finally get it, they complain.

That's pure evil.

My favorite is still the cat I saw "operating" the flyers at Fun Spot Kissimmee.

Thanks, glad people enjoy them!

Don't forget the part where we make a No Limits rendition of the layout.

^ Doesn't Disneyland have a bunch of ferrule cats that kill Mickey's distant relatives? Maybe Knott's is doing the same?

I can't wait to see some photos of Thunderhead taken from within Wildwood Grove.

^^ Being dropped in that orientation on Falcon's Fury would really throw me off even though that's how you drop on 99% of drop towers.

Does anyone know a reason why La Ronde is closed on Saturday May 25? It seems very strange since it's now open on weekends except this date. I fully expect the answer to be "because it's La Ronde" but was curious if there was something going on in the city.

^ Most of these are written at the airport or on the plane. Usually I've already seen the "new releases" on the plane's entertainment system. In terms of operations, everyone was efficient and helpful. The only difference I noted was that a lot of employees weren't as outgoing or smiling like the US or Tokyo parks.

Disney Village Since I stayed onsite, I spent quite a bit of time at Disney Village, the Paris equivalent of Disney Springs / Downtown Disney. It's comparable in size to Downtown Disney in California and thankfully everything stays open after the parks close unlike a certain park in England (cough: Alton Towers: cough). Disney Village and the hotels are situated around a lake. My first day at Disneyland Paris coincided with the release of Avengers Endgame. Fortunately I found a single English showtime at the Gaumont Theater in Disney Village (in IMAX no less). It pained me leave the park a half hour early, but I was ecstatic to see the film spoiler free. A quick spoiler free review- The movie is excellent. There's a reason it is breaking all sorts of box office records. The preceding 20 something films built up to Endgame and it absolutely delivered. Is it perfect? No. But it does everything it needs to, includes plenty of fan service, and has some spectacular action sequences. My lone gripe with the theater was the popcorn. I was looking forward to feasting on a gigantic bucket of buttery popcorn, but apparently in France they prefer to put sugar on their popcorn. Oh well, it saved me $10 that went to my Disney souvenir fund. Avengers Assemble! Speaking of souvenirs, there were several Disney stores in Disney Village. For the most part, the souvenirs overlapped with each other but there was a good chunk of merchandise exclusive to the Paris resort. I was unable to find a Disneyland Paris hoodie with Donald or Daisy for my family, but I did find a nice blanket. And for myself, I found a lovely Chip n Dale bowl. Disneyland Paris, take my money. For food, I tried two places. The first was Earl of Sandwich. This was my first experience with the chain and while I thought my steak and cheese was just ok, I thought the prices were extremely fair considering the location. Plus the service was very fast. I also tried the (generically named) Steakhouse. The service was excellent and the steak was quite good. It had a bit more of a charred taste to it than I like, but it was very juicy. I love how everyone was wearing Mickey ears and t-shirts in such a fancy restaurant. The dog was begging for scraps. As you may have surmised, I did choose to stay onsite at Hotel Cheyenne for three nights. Even though Cheyenne is the resort’s budget hotel, I thought it was quite nice. The Wild West theme was well executed and the service was exactly what you’d expect from Disney. It was a 15-20 minute walk from the parks, but the walk was quite scenic. It ran past a stream and took you through Disney Village. It was a nice way to start the day and sure beat the walk in California when I pass all the trashy hotels and Denny's. The hotel nailed the wild west ghost town theme. Unfortunately guests were not allowed to sleep in the teepees. My accommodations for three nights.

Have you not seen the trains for Slinky Dog Dash? But this is awesome too and so Wildwood.

You hit the lottery! I had that happen during Knott's Merry Farm and you can bet that's where I spent most of my time.