Electerik

Sorry, I don't do requests. Nah, just kidding. Anything for the Nerd! I have to admit, I'm not much of a water park guy. Still, we usually try to visit Dollywood's Splash Country at least once a year--mostly because it's extremely close and we get in free. It just seems like bad form not to go, you know? Bye-bye, Splash Country! Your attractions may be standard, but at least you're pretty! Well, thank you so much for that little reminder of my own mortality. And...the inside of said gift shop. The park's main gift shop. Dolly likes butterflies. Yummy flatbread thingies. Can we eat now? There, that's better. No...we just came from there. Where the heck is a map? The splashdown area. This is where you apologize for touching that really hairy dude. (Or, ask for his number. Again, depends on you.) Just like on the other one, they pair up parties of two. It makes sense capacity-wise, but it can be a bit disconcerting to suddenly be rubbing arms and legs with half-naked strangers. (Or, you know, totally awesome. I guess that depends on you.) The park's second family raft slide, Big Bear Plunge. The water play structure in mid-dump. I just find the idea of a water jet shooting up through a lounge chair hilarious. What can I say? I'm five. ...and some open water (by which I mean, something kind of like a regular old pool). ...with some low-impact slides... Cute kids/family area... Ah, this looks more our speed. Moving right along.... We're gonna go with "no" on this one. Fire Tower Falls Cute food stand. And like all food stands at Splash Country, they primarily serve chili. Um.... Yes. Welcome to Itchy Point. In my view, water parks are all pretty much the same. But at least this one has a nice setting. "Center for responsible hydration"? So...I can drink the water in the wave pool? But be warned, Dolly is trying to drown you! Evil! Stay away! It's only, like, 15 feet high--and the splashdown pool is shaped like a butterfly! How bad could it be?? And now, the most innocuous-looking slide of death ever created. Individual tube slides. Wild River Falls family raft slide. Exploding out of its swollen banks, its heaving waters pulsating against-- Excuse me a moment. Mat slides. I'm not really quite sure what this is, but it looks pretty cool. One of them newfangled toilet bowl rides. Airtime-inducing body slide. Awesome. Nice "lots of stuff" shot, if I do say so myself. The (only) entrance and exit to the lazy river. Misty totally wins with this photo. The lazy river is my favorite thing here. The main lockers, if you're into that sort of thing. The stand on the left is where you go to rent a locker. The one on the right has the weirdest name of anything ever. Aha! Stuff! Rules 1 & 2 = Please don't eat diarrhea. Rules 3 through 6 = You and your children are disgusting. This is as bathing suit-ish as we get. Uh-huh, sure. The actual gate. It's a bit of a walk from the ticket booths to the attractions. A water park close enough to my house to walk to. And they have water waiting for me!

Nice TR. Only been to Beech Bend once, pretty much just to check out Rumbler. I probably should give it another go, at some point.

They make everyone put on disposable gloves, since smudges from peoples' hands would make it easier to identify the mirrors. There are now three mirror mazes in the area, and they all do that.

If you'll be staying at an area hotel, check to see if they sell Dollywood tickets. Many offer a full 2-day "Play Another Day" ticket for the same price as Dollywood's 1-day ticket ($53.50). Since I don't know how into hiking your whole group is, I'm going to play it safe and recommend the Laurel Falls Trail. It's easy to get to/close to Gatlinburg, fairly scenic, and the first mile or so (to the falls) is paved. So if worse comes to worst, the wusses can hang out at the falls for a while while the rest venture onward.

Relatively new on the scene in Gatlinburg is Blindshot Barnaby's Circus Golf. Squeezed onto a small plot of land across from the convention center at traffic light #8, it consists of one 18-hole blacklight mini-golf course and a mirror maze--both of which are pretty cool. And that's Blindshot Barnaby's. Worth checking out if you like indoor golf. The tiny exit. Once again, Misty proves victorious by finding the exit first. (Obviously, I was distracted by the dancing.) Bravo! Now then, how do we get out of this thing? And now, Misty would like to perform for you her special Mirror Maze dance. There will be no further commentary during the performance. That's pretty cool. On to the Amazing Mirror Maze. Misty rules the day! (Note how the babe is slightly lower than in the last photo. She has been dunked.) Hole #18 is outside. Lots of cut-out fun, too. On the left is a video screen with a psychic who predicts how you'll do on the hole. ...and scary zebra-eating clowns. Lots of cute theming... I am not actually the monkey boy. Sorry. No, Smisty! Get out of the way! What's this guy up to? Giraffe wants my balls. Step right this way! Misty gets her first hole-in-one (of three!) Not sure what I'm doing with my golf racket here. So that's how they do it. I always figured it was tape. Hole #1 on the left, and #17 on the right. It's a compact course. It's $10 for golf, $8.75 for the maze, or $14 for both. (Half that with Sevier County ID.) All of these guys sing whenever someone gets a hole-in-one at the end. It's actually quite entertaining. I believe that's Mr. Barnaby on the left. The upper facade features animatronic trapeze artists.

^ I am unconvinced that valedictorian automatically equals "not a dummy." But, in any case, I wasn't calling the guy stupid--just pointing out that the article makes it sound really stupid. But my conclusion from that was that the article was leaving something out, not that the dude was an idiot. On the other hand, I was totally wrong on the international student thing. Guess I could have read the fucking article.

^^ It really makes no sense the way it's stated in the article. He hung onto the door because he thought it might not be locked? That's all kinds of stupid. Possibly an international student based on his name. May not have been working the ride long. Might possibly even be a little bit of a language/training issue. (Though, of course, that's all pure speculation on my part.) I'm going to say we need more information on this one, in order to make any sense of it.

Nice report so far! Cowtown? Like the They Might Be Giants song?

Any park with a duck mascot is okay in my book! Thanks for the TR, Nerdy.

Just because you don't get a lot of comments doesn't mean no one is looking. Just throw out some opinions (like, "B&M sucks compared to Vekoma") and you'll get lots of responses. /Always enjoys jarmor's reports.

^ No, thank you! Honestly, I was a bit unsure about this thread when I started it. (Was it too much non-coaster stuff? Would anyone really be interested in a bunch of photos of mini-golf?) But people seem to like it, and I'm having fun doing it--so I guess it's all good. Gonna need me a banner soon. /Looking forward to some Deep South Trip reports.

Located at traffic light #7 in Gatlinburg is Ripley's Believe It or Not! Museum. These exist in many different touristy areas, of course--but each one has (at least somewhat) different exhibits. The exit dumps you into an arcade. Well...I can take a lot of photos of even the most minor tourist attractions...does that count? Awww. Damn you, boobie-robbing mirror trick! Whoa! We're gonna get to see that chick's boobies! Outta my way, kid! A prehistoric area and a chick with tiny wing tattoos (not part of the exhibit, actually). And this is the world's weakest balcony stunt. You have to stand on it forever, it makes noise before it starts, and it only tips you forward an inch or two at an extremely-controlled rate of speed. ...I call it a standard issue spinning tunnel. Ripley's calls it a Swangin' Bridge... The dude with the camera makes people jump out of the way when they walk through the door. The ever-popular giant chair and a painting of Spider-Man painted on spider webs (not as cool looking as it sounds, I'm afraid). Restroom gag. This is positioned across from the clearly-labeled men's room. Whereas Misty made a tie-dye shirt at Dollywood. Here she is, in her new shirt, demonstrating how she's shorter than the world's tallest man. This dude made a detailed wax figure of himself, using his own body hair to complete it. I do like trompe l'oeil, though. More death and weirdness. Vlad The Impaler. A lot of the torture stuff kind of freaks me out, actually. John Dillinger escaping from jail with a fake gun made from soap and whatever else he could find. Many of the displays are rather macabre. Let's head into the jail/torture/death area, shall we? A hologram of Ripley describing some of his adventures. Toothpicks. Coolest claw game ever. You can win a shrunken head doll or a two-headed cow. Circling above the lobby. At the top of the stairs to the second level is a horse made out of coat hangers. This is kind of what my hair looks like if I let it grow out. I think this is a nice touch. "Odditorium" is a much cooler name than "Museum." I feel gypped. Part of the lobby area that can be seen from the outside. This one is three stories tall, and is supposed to look like an earthquake has torn apart its structure. (I think it's a bit too subtle, though.) It's a fun little tour. You can set you're own pace, and it's air-conditioned. Hardly a "must do," but still amusing. Believe It or Not!

Much better! Some shots I haven't seen before, too. Thanks for posting this.

Don't forget Earthquake. It's a real live action ride and you are in it!

The official adult price is $7.99, but it's only $3.00 for Sevier Country residents. /Coming to the area? Hang out with us! We're like walking discount books! //Note: Offer void if you're annoying or we're busy.

Located in the DEAD CENTER of Gatlinburg is a sit-down attraction so frightening, so mind-numbingly terrifying, that even a Viking would weep at the mere suggestion of experiencing it. Even more awesome than Earthquake The Ride, is: Hauntings "You haven't lived 'til we've scared you to death!" Seriously, this is one of the greatest things ever. You sit on benches in a tiny room while furniture slides back and forth on tracks and an animatronic head drones on like a retarded child making up a horror story by repeating things he's seen on The Twilight Zone. Then, just when it couldn't get any cheesier, some actually-pretty-cool stuff happens. I loved it. "Join us as we make contact from beyond the grave." "Experience awesome action as objects and ghostly figures come to life in this spectacular and mysterious adventure." "Knight Rider wasn't evil." "His windshield wipers were. It didn't come up much in the show though." "We have visited many ghostly sites, and collected some of the most evil artifacts imaginable: the steering wheel from Hitler's staff car, the left-turn signal from Charles Manson's VW, the windshield wipers from that car that played Knight Rider." "Here we have created, brick by brick, stone by stone, one of the world's most mysterious haunted attractions."

Thanks for the TR! I'm a pretty big fan of Desperado, myself. Now that Arrow is no longer around, a lot of their funkiness seems more charming.

Good stuff so far. Looking forward to you finishing it.

Wow. That's awesomely...something.

^^ Uncreative? Just look how into it this guy is! Super Bonus Shrinky Dink Photo: Robb & Kristen! Ernie/Eric makes a Shrinky Dink!

Thanks for the compliments, guys. I really appreciate them. I may do some ice cream places or a restaurant or two, if they're interesting enough. In general, I just do what interests me and what I can actually get decent photos of. Now then, did I hear somebody say World's Fair Park...? Goodbye from World's Fair Park in Knoxville. And, as always, thanks for reading! It's pretty and it's free. What more could you want? See? We were really there. Free outdoor showers. Another view of the observation deck. Downtown Knoxville, as seen from The Sunsphere. A display of how things looked way back in 1982. (Feeling old yet? Or is that just me?) At the top. Floor, please. The building with the eyes is a science museum. A view from the base level. The base of the tower. The Sunsphere is a completely free and unmanned observation tower. For many years, this sat vacant. But after the shame of The Simpsons episode, "Bart and the Sunsphere," the city of Knoxville decided to fix it up and reopen it. As city parks go, Knoxville's got a doozy: World's Fair Park, home of the 1982 World's Fair and The Sunsphere.

^ Darn it, Larry. I said "pretend." /Just wants to be known for something. //You know, like how Jeff is old.

I'm not actually sure who you're refering to here...but since my name is Erik and I really like ice cream, can I pretend it's me?

Nice TR of a little posted-about park. Thanks!

I like photo #0. [Edit: Damn you, Larry!]