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There's still plenty of time for it to go to SFoG.

A Brief Prologue Looking back on Theme Park Review’s 2023 Scandinavian Trip brings to mind the great Nordic sagas of old. There was excitement, mayhem, and even some heroic bodily injury--not to mention great parks and people, insane new coasters, and lots of good (sometimes odd) food. So, fill your flagon with ale, mead, or whatever libation you want and drink a hearty toast to Scandinavia and TPR! Sing lusty songs of Taiga, Fonix, Balder, and the other amazing rides, then bang your flagon on the table and shout for more! Above all, drink to the brave souls who took the 100-foot plunge from the SCAD Tower! Yes, there’s plenty to celebrate at these parks. Or relax and read this trip report. I just hope I remember how to write one. I was part of the original Scandinavian Trip back in 2009, and while I’ve revisited some of those parks with TPR since (such as Liseberg), I haven’t returned to many of them, and parks such as Djurs Summerland and Farup Summerland have added a lot of new stuff. My thanks to Robb and Elissa for all their work and planning to show all of us a great time in Denmark, Finland, Germany, Norway, and Sweden! Let’s start in Copenhagen, just as TPR did in 2009. A city noted for beautiful architecture, . . . . . . lovely parks, . . . . . . Hans Christian Anderson, . . . . . . and sometimes provocative statuary. This was in protest of a proposed parking garage. I’m with the artist on this one. It also made a great base camp for TPR’s first three parks, starting with one that has, let’s say, somewhat legendary status.

I made my first trip to Kings Dominion last Friday (Labor Day weekend). I knew what rides I was looking forward to riding, but little about the park other than that. I had been to Kings Island, so I knew there would be similarities between the two. I'm also used to going to Cedar Point, so all of these played into my impression of the park. One theme I noticed that plays into the whole day, KD expects their guests to be smart. At CP there are people everywhere reminding and telling guests what they can and cannot do. Partly it's crowd control, partly just dumb guests being dumb. I'll explain more later... Starters: I arrived in the parking lot around 10:30am (Park opened at 11). The parking lot expects you to understand how to park your car. Meaning, there were no attendants in vests and whistles telling me where to go. This was surprise #1 of the day. I got a close parking spot and walked toward the entrance. There were no signs, and because of all the TREES I could not see the entrance. "Where could it be? Oh, maybe toward the giant Eiffel Tower?!" Again, expecting their guests to be smart. I got in line for the park to open. They have really nice TVs with info on them above each line. I thought these were a nice way to communicate to the guests. Once inside the beautiful park entrance with the fountains, music and TREES, I walked over to Dominator. It surprised me that no one (maybe a few I didn't see) ran. Surprise #2 My biggest surprise and at times irritation was the lack of staff running the rides. They may have had 2 checking restraints and on some only 1 staffer was checking restraints. It was not uncommon for a one train to cycle and be waiting before #2 would dispatch. One dispatch took 4 minutes as the guy on the platform leisurely checked restraints, gates and slowly walked to give the thumbs up. I only ever saw 3 rides Twisted Timbers, Flight of Fear and Intimidator with staff at the front of the queue. Mostly making sure no loose articles went through. But on multiple occasions I saw kids sit in the coaster, and then asked to stand up and get measured to make sure they were tall enough. Yes, this slowed things down, but they usually gave the child a wristband for their height preventing this from happening again. Also, no station sorters. Once you got to the station it was crowd in as much as you want, and lots of open seats. I saw one TT train go with 6 empty single rider seats. THIS, This paragraph is my only complaints about the park. (Again, guests need to be smart and know how tall they need to be, what they can/cannot bring, and what seats to use. There was also almost never a "schpiel" about 'welcome oncoming riders...") Even though it was a holiday weekend, the park never seemed busy. Most roller coasters I was able to enter the station before I had to wait (Racer, Dominator and Flight of Fear are the only exceptions). The longest wait of the day was for the log ride, about 20 minutes. I love how easy the park is to get around, and that rides are clustered together. You can enter and exit 2-4 rides all within a close distance. I was talking to one couple and they asked me about Cedar Point, I told them great rides, but you have to walk a lot. Grizzly was so fun! I sat in the back and you float the whole way down the first drop! It's smooth where it needs to be and bumpy fun in places. Such a fun woodie. (I also found it funny that the exit line is a longer walk than the entrance. Anyone know of other rides where this is the case). White Water Canyon is probably the best river raft ride I've been on (Granted, I've only ridden like 6). It was fast, long, and the smaller 6-person raft allows for more rocking and swaying. It also surprised me they dispatched 3 rafts at one! If you've not ridden it, DO! There are no waterfalls to soak you, just good splashes from the rapids. TT was excellent! I love the 3 airtime hills and the final roll. Intimidator was POWERFUL. That first turn, I know the stories and the redesign of it. I grayed out, and my last time riding it (#5) I blacked out and came back coming down the second hill. I knew that was enough for one day Dominator rocks. I rode it years ago when it was at Six Flags Ohio/Geauga Lake. Still runs great. Great layout and pretty smooth (just a little rattle here and there). My last surprise... NO DOWNTIME! Not once throughout the entire day did I experience down time on any ride. Every ride I went to or rode was open and running. Not a single breakdown. Going to Cedar Point, that's just part of the experience "Do we wait it out or leave." Great job maintenance crews! I loved going to KD and cannot wait to come back for Haunts or Christmas events later this year. It's a beautiful park, lots of trees and character throughout. I guess, Virginia is for lovers and those who can appreciate a park at a more leisurely pace.

Finally catching up on this report Chuck and I can say that it's a pretty Fantastik, Soopa Doopa, Awesome report! I love all the call backs to the changes from previous trips you had at these parks and it shows that parks really try to update their parks to the visitors best interests. I love the captions! Can't wait for more! Jimmy "I'm having TPR Trip withdrawals" Bo

Yes, my dream would be to get hand me down family coasters from the chain when they close and replace Steamin Demon with some sort of small but real thrill coaster. An original raptor clone would be a dream, but it could be something as simple as a Euro-fighter. I would be less thrilled with say a 4D Free Spin or a Sky Rocket II, but beggars and choosers. Any of that would be a huge upgrade. As for the hand me downs, a wild mouse and a family spinner would be great when other parks need the room. Re-using the old building, as you suggested, would be the cherry on top. I'd say none of that will actually happen unfortunately, but I would have said the same about The Bobcat. Pretty hilarious that The Great Escape will have Six Flags first Gravity Group.

This is why there is basically no reason not to buy the all day dining. $31.99 and you can get a meal every 90 minutes.

Since this current Summer season was drawing to an end, I wanted to make one more trip down to Hershey Park. I decided to go on Wednesday, and the crowds were relatively quite slow. The other reason for this trip was to buy the Scrambler coaster-dynamix model as a gift for my friend/boss who owns Adventure Park USA, as we have a scrambler at our park, and his birthday is coming up. I went with a coworker who had gone with me at least 2 times over the year, which made the trip a lot more relaxed. We didn't feel the rush to get every credit, we could just do what we wanted to do. We did Fahrenheit first as it was a walk-on, and we rode the front seat. I've ridden the back seat of Fahrenheit before, and it was amazing. The front seat is less intense, but I did enjoy the hangtime on the inversions. That one airtime hill after the the double corkscrews/overbank was powerful, but I still prefer the backseat. Fresh from a trip to Six Flags Great Adventure where my friend and I had ridden El Toro for the first time, we went onto Wildcat's Revenge afterwards. We've ridden it before, but now we had something to compare it to. While front row on El Toro was great, I don't know if I prefer Wildcat's Revenge more. I think both have great finales, but Wildcat's Revenge is more enjoyable. The aggressiveness with the airtime is easier to take in when the track is butter smooth. El Toro wasn't rough by wooden coaster standards, but I'm also not sure how many times I could ride it. The finale where the airtime hill goes into a sharp turn is the part that I found a little bit uncomfortable. In contrast, Wildcat's Revenge rips you out of your seat, but there isn't any part that I find rough. I've only ridden Joker at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom out of the other hybrids, and I will say that I prefer this over that. We rode Lightning Racer next. We got the front row of Lightning Racer and while it was a little forceless - it was a lot smoother than any other seat. The coaster definitely banks on it's interactive elements, but I do wish that the little hills throughout the attractive gave some airtime. I don't really notice a huge difference between Lightning and Thunder other than Thunder feeling slightly rougher. In a couple of years', I do think a retracking might be in order. Not unbearable, but more noticeable than years' prior. Afterwards, we went over to ride the Hershey Drop Tower. It's not a bad drop tower, and gives you a full experience. I do think the launch feels weak, but I do like the view and length of the attraction. We then did Coal Cracker. We ended up doing this twice throughout the day. I'm a sucker for log flumes. Next to roller coasters, I'm a huge log flume enthusiast. Out of the log rides, it's not the most special, but it definitely is cool to interact with the other attractions as you float along. I also enjoy how throughout the ride, the little waves in the current can splash over your boat. It's not quite to the extent of a rapids ride, but it's more than you usually get on a log ride. The airtime hill at the end isn't bad either. Next was Great Bear. Last month, my friend and I had done Talon at Dorney Park. My friend hated Great Bear the last time he came, and he didn't have too much of a reason other than it feeling so/so. I didn't understand the criticism, but I sort of do now? I love Great Bear, but I do think it lacks a finale. Talon might be less intense, but it feels more full. I don't know if it's a fair criticism though since the space Hershey had to work with wasn't ideal. We got to ride the front seat, and I liked it a lot. I just wish there was more of a finale into the brake run. Our next rides were on Superdooperlooper, and Skyrush. These are the only two rides my friend hadn't ridden yet. The loop on Superdooperlooper is still very intense, and then the ride sort of just interacts with the park. It's fun in that way, but not much. I do wonder how the ride runs without the trim brake before the helix. Skyrush was a front-row ride, my first time in the front row, to-be-exact. It was great. I have a love/hate relationship with this ride. This time? I liked it. The airtime is great, it has one of the best first drops on a roller coaster, but I'm not the biggest fan of those trains. Part of me would probably prefer the ride with the same cars used on Superman:ROS. My friend didn't hate it, but didn't love it either. Comet was our next ride, and we got the back-seat. Words cannot describe how awesome the airtime on Comet can be. The back seat ensures that during that first half, you're going to not be in your seat. The second half does have some dull moments, but once you enter the two last humps before the brake run - it's back. Underrated wooden coaster. We decided to do the Scrambler because we wanted to compare it to the one at the park we work at. There's no comparison. The Scrambler at our park is naturally very tame. It takes about 4 minutes to get to its' full speed, and about one minute to stop. I love the thing, but it is what it is. The one at Hershey Park is a lot faster, and its' surreal to ride an attraction the way its' meant to be run. After that, we rode Candymonium. As far as B&W hypers go, Nitro/Mako are the ones that rein supreme in my heart. I haven't ridden too many B&W hypers, but Candymonium is probably better than Apollo's Chariot for me. The ride feels full, and the floater airtime is great. For Hershey, it's one of the standouts for me. I think the lack of intensity helps it out, and makes the attraction feel a lot more drawn out. While Hershey has a lot of great coasters, a lot of them are compact, speedy, and really snappy. This ride takes its' time. For me, Wildcat's Revenge and Candymonium are the best additions for Hershey. They feel like full rides. You have a great start, a great middle, a great finale. We went to get drinks at the The Chocolatier. We got the Chocolatier martini, the smores' martini, and another friend who joined got a martini combo. I liked the Smores' martini, and one of the chocolate martinis' in the martini combo. (i just forget the name of it). I don't think they were that strong, but I didn't want them to be either. I got Shrimp tacos to match it, and I think my friends' got burgers. The food was good, not great, but a needed break in the system. Still a little tipsy, we went back to Coal Cracker. It's peaceful, and not too intense. My third friend really wanted to do Tidal Force. We had ridden it before, he didn't. I know how soaked you get on that ride, but I'm also cognizant that you can dry if you only ride it once. You can also take your shirts/shoes off. I only really had to take my shirt off, and my shoes stayed dry. As far as chutes go, it's large, but the hill doesn't have the punch that other larger chutes have. I think Dorney's had a better drop, even it had trims on it. We went back on WIldcat's Revenge, which had just broken down, but by the time we got in line - it started working again. If you see a ride testing, a lot of the time, it's going to open back up. My advice for breakdowns is to put a ten-minute timer on your phone, if it bypasses 10 or 15 minutes, get out of line. It's saved time, and frustration. We finished the day on Stormrunner/JollyRancher. Stormrunner is my favorite accelerator from Intamin. I loved TTD, but it's a one-trick pony. Plus, the launches on both KingdaKa and TTD are drawn out. The punch on Stormrunner's launch is what keeps me going back. A fuller layout really benefits the attraction. I prefer Maverick, but I'm not sure what that's considered. That feels like a completely different attraction. For a Boomerang, I do think JollyRancher is one of the better ones. I rode in the backseat. The intensity of those models are a lot, and can be enjoyable. After that however, we were ready to end the day. In conclusion; It was a great day. Hershey Park has a great collection of rides, and the inclusion of longer attractions such as WR, and Candymonium; the park feels more full. That being said, I did notice a lack of great flat rides. Both Dorney Park and SFGA really showcased a better variety in that department. Here, you have some good ones, but a lot of areas where you're looking for things other than kiddie rides and roller coasters. I think the inclusion of so many kiddie attractions is a good thing, but also feel like there should be a balance of thrilling flat rides too. Dark rides is another area that could use improvement. The Reeses' shooting ride is a step there, so is Lafftrak, but there should be a little more to do other than that. If not a dark ride, a show other than the Sea Lion show. I know people probably want more roller coasters, I think we just need some different additions to really help out the park. I do not think the boardwalk needs anymore expansion. I'm not a fan of the Boardwalk, and I feel like it's disrupted the flow of the park. Now with the lazy river, some slides, and a waterplay area; i think it's big enough for a tiny park-in-a-park. That's my take.

In a world where parks are charging $40-$65 just for parking your car, around $20 for a meal shouldn't really be a shock. Welcome to the world.

It’s a theme park and you don’t have to eat there or be there period for that matter

Part 9 The Day Is Yours, So Enjoy It: Tusenfryd The original entrance sign at Tusenfryd used to day “dagen er din,” which means “the day is yours” in English (or so says Google Translate). I remember hearing someone translate this as “enjoy your day” back in 2006 when I first visited the park with TPR, but I might be misremembering what was said. Whatever it means, Tusenfryd is still a very good park in the beautiful Norwegian mountains. It looks like a ski resort with coasters and other rides. This is my third visit to Tusenfryd, the last being in 2009, and the park has changed since then. Gone is the old “Viking ship simulator,” but the excellent Speed Monster and the cute-as-a-button Teeny Weeny remain. They’ve done some nice work upgrading some sections of the park, too, such as the spruced-up Route 66 and the new Dragonville. Speaking of Dragonville, this is the home of the park’s newest coaster--a Gerstlauer launched suspended ride called Storm. If you like intensity, you’ll like Storm. It also has some rather violent airtime, particularly during the first half. On the “transitional” hill, the airtime was so crazy that it felt like someone was driving spikes into my thighs. The second half of the ride isn’t as intense (and it’s more fun), but my legs were pretty sore that day and the next morning. Then again, I was also the oldest person on the trip. I’ve come to appreciate more “floaty” airtime. Even thought I’ve liked this ride during past visits, the park’s woodie, Thunder Coaster, has not aged particularly well. It now sports Timberliner trains, but I think it could use some re-tracking. It’s very bumpy. But Speed Monster is still excellent. This Intamin launched coaster is smooth as glass and has a great, twisted layout with plenty of airtime. ERT on this coaster was great--I could ride it all day. Oh, and the old Arrow loopscrew, appropriately named Loopen, still exists. My memory of it was evil, so I didn’t ride it this time. Others in the group didn’t think it was all that bad. But you know how coaster enthusiasts love to kid people. We spent the previous night in Oslo, so let’s start the photos there. Sheesh! Thor is sure careless with that hammer. He left it lying around Djurs Sommerland, too. No wonder Odin gets impatient with him. Here we have two naked people on top of what appears to be a giant dildo. You’re welcome. Oh hi, Ligeia! My, how you’ve grown while I’ve been away. TROLL! A beautiful Norwegian sunset. “Nice city you got here. Shame if someone were to poop all over it.” Time for the day to be ours at Tusenfryd. We started the day, which was ours, here. Mike, you’re gonna hurt yourself! Save your strength for Storm. Storm starts with a forward launch, a rollback into a backward launch, then a drop into a stronger forward launch. This seems to be the latest fashion in coasters. I prefer the second half of this ride after you fly by the station. This is the painful transitional airtime hill. But the little dragon head on the front of the train is cute. Look! An Old West-style town! I know you’re all very surprised to see this. (“Will Kane” was the name of Gary Cooper’s character in “High Noon.” I guess the “Morgan” part comes from “Morgan Earp.”) Marshal, I think they’re doing more than just laundry at Kitty’s House if you get my drift. Morgan Kane City is the home of the buck naked version of Big Thunder. Norwegian tacos, anyone? Thunder Coaster is growing older and crankier. Well, don’t we all? Nice setting, though. “Oh, great. We’re on Teeny Weeny. People are taking pictures and shooting video. Life is good.” Livin’ the dream, baby! Based on what I’ve seen at Tusenfryd, . . . . . . Vikings like to get really wet. (I think this is either an AJ or Andy photo.) Thor’s Hammer is a good 3D dark ride--sort of Norway’s answer to Curse of DarKastle. Few are honorable enough to carry the Hammer of Thor. My . . . that’s a big one. Matt has found his soulmate. I guess he’s into really big Viking guys in armor. Who knew? A jungle-themed ride in Norway? Eh--why not? Here’s where you can “get your kicks” . . . oh, gawd, that song’s as old as me. Why Loopen--what a great big new sign you have. Why, this new sign and the fresh paint will make all the difference for this old Vekoma loopscrew. Godspeed, my friends. I salute you . . . from a safe distance. They said it wasn’t that bad . . . or was that the concussion talking? This whole section of the park looks much nicer than it used to. Route 66 is a fitting home for the park’s best ride. There are two ways to ride Speed Monster. Like the little boy . . . . . . or like the little girl. Whatever you decide, this is a great launched coaster. It don’t need no stinkin’ backward launch. I spy with my little eye two familiar faces in the front row. “Whee” is the appropriate response here. Any ERT spent on Speed Monster is well spent, indeed. I see nothing to dislike here. AJ wishes he were on this train. Now there’s a good way to end a ride--well done, Intamin! My thanks to whomever took this photo. Long may Speed Monster run!

Part 8 Where Even the Apocalypse Is Awesome: LEGOLAND Billund Following its stay at Hansa Park, LEGOLAND set up shop near the LEGO factory in Denmark. This is the oldest of the LEGOLAND parks, and it set the template and standard for all that followed. I’m not the intended audience for these places, but I still like visiting them and noting their differences. Billund has many of the same attractions as the other parks in the chain, such as the Dragon coaster (this version is a powered ride), an observation tower, and, of course, Miniland (with a Scandinavian theme). But it has unique attractions, as well--for example, the Polar X-plorer coaster and Ghost--The Haunted House (a walk-through with a surprise at the end). Emmet’s Flying Adventure is a “Soarin’” type of ride inspired by The LEGO Movie. (I think the California park has this one, too). One funny thing: During the preshow for Emmet’s Flying Adventure (which is in Danish) whenever you expect the word “awesome,” they use “super duper.” According to Google translate, the nearest Danish equivalent to “awesome” is “fantastik.” I guess that didn’t sound quite right, so they went with “super duper”? However, signs in the park say “awesome” in English. So, let’s go where everything is SUPER DUPER--that is, AWESOME or FANTASTIK. If they weren’t stopped by this fence, these drummers would attack and kill you! This is how I imagine all LEGO parks are built. And Erik’s shirt is, indeed, FANTASTIK or SUPER DUPER or AWESOME--as is his trip report. Check it out. This dragon with the block-and-tackle on its head was also crucial to the construction of the park--SUPER DUPER, indeed. Ligeia has found me yet again--and she has a witch with her! They’re proud to be Americans in Denmark? I think this coaster is unique to this park, at least in how it's themed. I did not cover myself in glory with my photos of this ride. But I’m sure Robb got a much better video. Aw, thanks, Emmet! You’re a pal. Emmet invited me over to hang out on his double-decker couch. “I find my lack of an invitation to hang out on Emmet’s couch disturbing.” Polar X-plorer was fun, even though it doesn’t have real penguins anymore. (Photo by . . . Elissa? I think.) Ice Pilots is unique to this park, but it’s not really my thing. But if you like being tortured by an industrial robot, be my guest. Welcome to the cutest Mad Max-style hellscape ever . . . . . . unless you’re a stinkin’ DUPLO! “Yeah, I’m really cute when I run you down with my motorcycle and chop your head off with my flaming ax.” The Apocalypseburg Sky Battle has begun! Kristin and Sarah in a dance of death--in the sky! “You win this round, Crouse. But you task me! You task me, and I shall have you!” We all escaped the colorful hellscape. This show was such a huge hit, it spawned a spin-off series and a Euro western movie. First was the pirate-themed reality show “Wench! Whar Be Me Pantaloons?” This was followed by that classic Italian-Spanish western “When You Meet Sartana, Hold on to Your Pants!” “I . . . SEE . . .YOU!” This part of LEGOLAND aggravates Frodo Baggins’s PTSD. “Look, Sarah! A haunt! You love those!” “See? Just some skeletons, rats foraging for rotten food, flickering lights . . . everything is AWESOME!” I think Sarah would prefer this nice, relaxing boat ride. A Danish model of a French statue that stands in an American harbor! Yay! USA! USA! “Er, I thought we were in Denmark.” Yes, it’s a very relaxing ride--as long as you keep the little boat balanced. (Photo by Elissa.) There’s also a somewhat less relaxing boat ride with pirates and sharks. This guy was taking a shower back in 2009, too. Why doesn’t he give someone else a chance? “No we won’t be playin’ that ‘Yo Ho’ song! We be sick ‘o’ that tune! No requests, sez I.” The clientele be too classy and too rich for my blood, mate. Let’s find us another tavern. OK, what’s this Ninjago stuff all about? It appears to have something to do with spinning a redheaded woman at a high rate of speed. I couldn’t get the hang of this ride. Just not very good at waving my hands around in the right place. I’ll never be a ninja or ninjago or whatever it is. Time for a stroll through Miniland. I’m always impressed with the attention to detail in these displays at the LEGOLAND parks. It’s amazing what they can do with LEGO bricks. Hey, I’ve been there. This is a working canal-and-lock system. You can see Miniland via monorail, too. (Photo by Jere.) Time to go, I guess. Well, maybe after some chocolate LEGO bricks. Thanks, LEGOLAND. You were FANTASTIK or AWESOME or SUPER DUPER!

Let's have a look at the obstacle course, shall we? More Vekoma goodness is on the way, too. I was content to watch the younger set risk serious injury on the obstacle course. After all, someone must be healthy enough to provide assistance when necessary. Besides, you know my motto. Dignity. Always dignity. (Photo by Elissa.) “Whaddaya mean there are leeches in that water?” TPR’s intrepid campers soldier on. I did traverse this rope successfully. Uh, that’s OK. I’ll wait for the next one. Lynet, the park’s launched Eurofighter, is rougher than it was in 2009. But it still has some good moments. I think any park worth its salt needs a nice train ride. This one had enough stops to be useful as transportation, too. Farup has a mini-golf island. I didn't play a round, but maybe I'll get back there someday. This is Orkanen (Danish for “hurricane”). Shades of Cosmoworld and Kings Dominion! Orkanen has an “underwater” drop. Now this is a Vekoma Suspended Family Coaster, unlike the ride at Djurs. There’s so much to unpack in this photo of Fønix. The boy in the second row is howling like a banshee. The two boys behind him are probably thinking, “What’s his deal, anyway?” The two girls in front and the man in the back are thinking, “Great--we’re going to have to put up with this for the entire ride, aren’t we?” I think the boy in the third row may have broken his neck. And now a brief spot of nature. You’re welcome. So much for nature. Time for ERT! Fønix has caused Andy and Daniel to sprout multiple arms! They are now gods! This is the part where everybody yells “wh-o-o-o-o-o-o-a!” There is nothing to hate, or even mildly dislike, about this ride. Vekoma has triumphed again. “I am the Zen Rider! Fønix and I are as one!” “Sell all my earthly possessions. I’m not coming back.” Despite my expression, I love this coaster. (Photo from Robb’s rider cam.) Aw, time to go. Can we take the Club Car back to the bus?

Part 7 Like Summer Camp, but with Coasters: Farup Sommerland When I was in fourth grade (back in that distant era known as the Sixties), my school district used to send the entire class up to Old Oak Ranch in the Sierra Nevada foothills for a week each year. Everyone hiked around, communed with nature, and shared industrial-sized pots of oatmeal at breakfast. Farup Sommerland in Denmark reminds me of those days. It’s like a summer camp, only with roller coasters and other attractions, but no oatmeal. “Green” is the main color at Farup. The park is located in a heavily forested area, and winding trails connect different sections. The trees are so thick that even huge rides are hidden until you’re practically on top of them. There’s a lake with paddle boats and an obstacle course in the woods similar to what you might find in an old summer camp (or perhaps an army boot camp). Yes, the park has a beautiful setting--but what about attractions? There’s a lot to like here. Fønix, which opened in 2022, is the standout here--one of the best rides in Europe. This big twisting mess of steel continues Vekoma’s current winning streak. There’s great airtime and a very scary moment of hangtime, and the ride itself is a buttery smooth--nary a bump, a lurch, or a clunk anywhere. Our ERT session on Fønix was excellent. You could ride this coaster all day without any problem. Farup also features Saven (Danish for “saw”), a lumberjack-themed Vekoma Junior Boomerang. It’s a fun little coaster, with a cool surprise part way through (which I won’t reveal here). Another unique attraction is Raeven’s Hule, a “haunted” fun house (it’s near the entrance to the obstacle course). Lots of good gags that reminded me of Knott’s old Haunted Shack. I think I missed this one back in 2009--glad I caught it this time. Yet another great Danish park that’s just improved since the 2009 trip. Let’s have a look around, but be careful doing the monkey bars on the obstacle course--you could get wet or contract leeches or maybe get eaten by a bear. Gee--just like camp! Good morning, campers! Are we ready for some bird watching? “Why, good morning! I’m Falken, and I hope you enjoy watching me, you creepy avian voyeurs! Don't you think birds deserve some privacy? Huh? Don't you?” Let’s watch a train roll by. TPR makes its way through the impenetrable forest in search of the Church of Fønix. The Holy Writ says that if you pass a giant spider, you’re on the right track. One must approach Fønix with reverence. The pews of the Church of Fønix: Vekoma’s trains are so much better than they used to be--so comfortable and smooth riding. Fønix ascends to the heavens. You’ll whisper a brief prayer during the scary hangtime moment. More on this amazing ride later. I think if we follow this track will find the entrance to Saven. Just a hunch. “Uncle Joe! Someone done crashed into Hooterville’s water tower!” (That was for all the “Petticoat Junction” fans out there, if there are any.) Yay! We found Saven! (I honestly don’t remember who took this photo, but I thank you for it.) See what I mean by “summer camp with rides”? You have to go through the obstacle course to get to ship. Greatest ride sign ever! As I recall, it spun pretty well. (I think Elissa took this photo.) This ride is also Count Dracula approved! Tonight on Ghost Hunters, we investigate Raeven’s Hule--the most haunted fun house in Denmark! Are these giant wiggly worms evidence of paranormal activity? I feel a sense of disorientation here. Where’s the EMP reader? Anyone else feeling a bit . . . weird? Holy Haunted Mansion! An endless corridor! Water flowing uphill? What sorcery is this? More to come from Farup.

Brace yourself for dinosaurs and pirates at Djurs Sommerland, me hearties! No, I’m here FOR lunch. I am NOT THE lunch. “Dinosaurland” is owned by “Dino Inc.” As Mr. Spock might say, “Logical.” This is “Spinosaurus,.” which means "spinning lizard," I guess. I suppose it could also be pronounced “Spine-o-saurus” as you’re riding back and forth over a dinosaur’s backbone. OK, the name of this ride isn’t as imaginative as "Spinosaurus," but it gets the point across. “Hello, I’m Rex. T. Rex. I hope your family enjoys my ride.” A Mack powered coaster, a Gerstlauer, and three Intamin coasters. There are two Zirer kiddies, as well, so this is a very well rounded park. Despite the sign saying “Do not the feed the dino,” there is, in fact, more than one dino on this ride. Which one in particular are we not supposed to feed? “DO NOT FEED ME!” This is a lousy photo, but it shows a nice callback to an old attraction. This ape head was once part of a giant ape animatronic on the old “jungle cruise” that used to be here. A giant mammal doesn’t really fit in with a bunch of thunder lizards, but it is a nice Easter egg. “Oh, you’re quite safe. I’m a vegetarian. Well, I guess I could step on you or something.” “Oh, you’re gonna feed THIS dino, sign or no sign!” Djurs defies Disney’s lawyers and shows you the backside of water. Have fun risking terrible injury, kids! When in Denmark, do as the Danes do. Ahoy, mates! Shiver me timbers! Avast! All that piratical nonsense! “I craps treasure, I does!” This place wouldn’t be very “piratey” unless you had the chance to get soaked next to a giant rock skull. Welcome to your ERT on Piraten, mates! We’ll not be lootin’ the ticket booth today. That were just Cap'n Robb havin' a wee bit 'o' fun. Ye’ll find that this here Megalite rocks like a ship in a typhoon. And remember, ya scurvy swabs! Pirates don’t say “whee” . . . . . . they say “arr”! Why, thar be Miss Sarah, lookin’ so prim and proper like . . . . . . while this be goin’ on behind her. “Arr! Someone done unleashed an air kraken here, sez I!” Here be a rousing game of “Pass the Sword,” while Miss Kristen works on her “Bride of Frankenstein” impression. I think all you sea dogs can agree that any day that ends with ERT on Piraten is a great day!

Part 6 Pirates & Dinos & Vikings--Oh My: Djurs Sommerland Here’s how Djurs Sommerland has changed since my last visit with TPR in 2009: They changed what they should’ve changed and they kept what they should’ve kept. This park was good back then, and it’s even better now. Case in point: The park featured a rather dated jungle-themed area with a Huss Topple Tower and a “jungle cruise” ride full of moth-eaten animatronics. They’ve since replaced it with a family-friendly dinosaur-themed land that looks much better and is less likely to become dated. However, I must admit that I miss the monkey who water skies behind a crocodile. As for things they rightly kept, they still have the excellent Piraten. Yes, the whole pirate themed area has been improved, but that classic Intamin Megalite remains its flagship. They still have the field full of trampolines and potentially dangerous climbing structures, too. With its remaining sections themed to Vikings, Mexico, and the American Wild West (no surprise there), along with a water park, Djurs Sommerland is one of the most well rounded of the Danish theme parks. The coasters there range from major thrill machines like Piraten to great family rides, such as Juvelen (a launched Intamin coaster themed to an ATV race through Aztec ruins). As you may have guessed, I enjoyed this park--a lot. Here’s a look at a great day at Djurs! Here’s all you need to know about Djurs Sommerland in mural form. “You see what’s behind me, right? So, you know what’s coming late this afternoon! Yep! A behind-the-scenes tour of that ticket booth. You’re welcome!” The park website says that the ride is a race to recover an Aztec jewel (or “Juvelen,” in Danish). It’s a good example of what a “family coaster” should be--a nicely themed “journey,” not just a mess of track plopped down on a concrete slab. The queue looks great. Somebody fetch me a hacksaw and a crow bar. This jewel belongs in a museum! This dude might’ve just cursed us, but I’m not sure. Eric and Jere are still alive, so I guess they weren’t cursed. “Oh, don’t be so sure about that, my good man.” Thus spoke the Aztec Mummy. I didn’t get too many pictures of Juvelen itself, but this is definitely one of them. I call this “Peekaboo Juvelen.” Vaya con Dios. Is Asia any wilder than Mexico? Well, it does have dragons. “What happened to Chuck?” “Dunno. We heard a yell, followed by a loud belch. But all we found was his hat.” I thought this was a Vekoma Family Suspended Coaster, but I later found out that it’s an Intamin. Djurs is a very Intamin-friendly park, I guess (which is a good thing). Well, to whomever made it, nice little ride. Looks like Ligeia caught up to me, again--but why is she drooling so much? This isn’t my kind of ride, but folks seem to enjoy it. And there are those who REALLY enjoy it. A train and a ride sign in one shot--I rule! Looks like those Cokes never made it to their destination, unless they were going to Hell! “Oh no, not Hell. I must admit that I killed the driver and drank them all.” While in Laredo Town, keep an eye open for a young cowboy all wrapped in white linen, cold as the clay. “Why don’t ya take a picture, hombre? It’ll last longer . . . oh, you are.” Yes, we are indeed transported to the American West as imagined by Walt Disney and interpreted by a Danish theme park. Not sure this is authentic Wild West gear, though. Looks like a nice place. They can bury you and cater the reception afterward. A land themed to Vikings in Scandinavia? How novel! I think we may have found the Thor’s Hammer coaster. Call it . . . a hunch. OK, all you who watched cartoons in the 1960s--sing along! “From the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard . . . . . . where the booming heavens roar!” “You’ll behold in breathless wonder, . . . . . . the God of Thunder, Mighty Thor!” Did Thor look a bit hungover to you? He was definitely hung over your car as it departed the station . . . OW! Stop hitting me! More to come.

^Yep--up by Helix. Part 5 The Nice Park with One Big Thrill: Tivoli Friheden First, I’d like to say that Tivoli Friheden in Aarhus, Denmark, is a nice family park and a pleasant place to wile away a day. Second, I’d like to point out that the park actually improved itself by getting rid of two coasters. One was a Pinfari Looper, which was just plain bad. The other was the infamous Cobra, an inverted coaster by Sartori, which was, let’s say, way beyond being "just plain bad.” The only coasters left now are a Zamperla spinning mouse (Tyfonen), a Wacky Worm with a dragon train, and a powered spinner themed to bees. This left the park with one big thrilling attraction: a SCAD Tower with a 100-foot free-fall drop into a net. I did this back in 2009, and I’m glad I did. However, I didn’t feel like tempting fate twice, so I watched others plummet to their near doom this time around. I salute them all! Even so, I still enjoyed the park. The grounds are very pretty, and there’s a nice assortment of rides for everyone, including a shooting dark ride, a “House of Illusions,” and a bizarre little mini-golf course. According to rcdb.com, Friheden is planning to open a new Eurofighter in 2024. This sounds like a good fit for the park. Here’s a quick tour of Tivoli Friheden. As you can tell from the picture above, the Lions Club likes it, too. I was wearing a blue shirt, but I’m not a member of the Lions Club. Who’s ready for some family fun plunging 100 feet while strapped to what looks like a 1950s era plastic lounge chair? Don’t worry. The clown says you’ll be fine. The brave souls will start up there . . . . . . and end up here. Steve and Bert give the thumbs up while Shane prays behind them. All responses are appropriate. (Then again, maybe Shane is walking like an Egyptian.) Here’s a chance to rethink your life choices. Trust me. I’ve been there. It’s too late to change your mind. “I REGRET NOTHING! ESPECIALLY IF THE VIDEO GOES VIRAL!” “Er, am I still alive? Is anyone here St. Peter?” Unless these little cherubs are in heaven, the answer is “yes, you are still alive.” The tower is no illusion, but this house is full of them. O-o-o-o-o . . . trippy. I think I may have lapped myself across multiple universes. This used to be an old-school dark ride through a haunted hotel. It even had an “elevator” at the beginning. But now it’s a video shooter with some of the old gags still popping up and scaring people. And it's in "5D"! Eric looks a bit nervous about having to fight zombies. Or maybe he's afraid the clown is in there. The mouse spins pretty well, if you like that sort of thing. Here we see a daring young fellow standing on a black swan. I don’t think I’d want to fall in that pond. Water looks a bit questionable. Tivoli Friheden is a very pretty park. It’s also bee friendly. Boy, does this park love bees! Spinning, buzzing bees rule! Everyone loves bees! Here’s another way for you to plunge from a great height. The layout of the course was a bit odd, so people seemed to jump from hole to hole regardless of what order they were in while drinking beer. Real golf should be like this. Yes, the basket is the hole. Here’s a very deceptive obstacle. At most mini-golf courses, you’d assume that the objective is to hit the ball up the ramp and through this contraption to get close to the hole. But if you do, your ball will end up on the wrong side of the green. Remember: The clown is always watching!

There's some more Hansa Park left. My . . . that’s a big one. At 290 feet, Highlander is a tallest gyro drop tower in the world. It also has tilting seats, so an athletic cup might come in handy, gents. I remember when Nessie had a standard generic coaster station like you’d see at a Cedar Fair park. Now it has a castle . . . . . . and a very stately main hall. It’s good to see the old girl get some love. I like these old Schwarzkopfs a lot. Watch out Nessie! The Royal Scotsman is trying to take advantage of you! There’s a nice pop of air here. The backside of Nessie. The train ride is both scenic and useful (lots of stops). To get some more photos of Karnan, we must first make our way through the jungle. Watch out for snakes smoking cigars. Hooray for Jungle Jere, the famed African explorer and notary public! I’d show you the backside of water, but Disney might sue. “You couldn’t handle the backside of water, anyway. Much too intense!” Here we see Irrawaddy Eric, famed safari guide. He can also validate your parking. “Ole, ole! It’s showtime!” (Not according to this cease-and-desist order from Disney.) Let’s have another look at the wonderfully tangled mess that is Karnan. This hot mess of a ride could use some psychoanalysis. But if it ever got its head on straight . . . . . . it wouldn’t be as amazing or hair raising as it is now! You just keep on being you, Karnan! Let’s not forget Midgard. It’s one of the best themed kiddie coasters ever. “I see you survived Karnan, thus proving you are worthy enough to be my slaves, er, subjects.” Thanks for a great day, Hansa!

Part 4 A Long Way from LEGOLAND: Hansa Park The beautiful entry way to Hansa Park in northern Germany resembles an old Baltic seaport, but it wasn’t always like that. This park was the original home of the first LEGO Miniland; thus, it was the first “LEGOLAND.” But LEGOLAND had long since moved to Billund in Denmark, and Hansa went on to forge its own identity as a theme park. There used to a be a “half-finished” quality to Hansa. During the TPR 2009 Scandinavia Trip, Hansa had the typical “Wild West” town you see in many theme parks, along with a wide expanse of grass with some random rides plopped down on it and a ropes course. It also had Flulcht von Nogorod, a fully operational launched Eurofighter with only partly finished theming. They operated the ride, but the queue and show building were a mix of castle halls and bare plywood. This has since been finished and now looks great. During my second visit with TPR, they’d added Karnan, an excellent Gertlauser Infinity coaster themed to a mythical castle--again, it was a fully operational ride in a partly finished castle. It’s done now, and the whole area around Karnan, which was once that “wide expanse of grass with some random rides,” boasts new attractions, including another very well themed family coaster (Schlange von Midgard) that even has its own preshow. Scotland has also come to Hansa Park. The park’s classic Schwarzkopf looper, Nessie, now has its own castle. The section surrounding that coaster has never looked better--or more Scottish. It’s been fun watching Hansa evolve into a full-fledged theme park. I’m even listening to the soundtrack to Karnan as I post this (thanks for the CD, Hansa). It’ll be interesting to see what they come up with next. What time did we enter Hansa? I forget. The Wild West town of New Lubek hasn’t changed much since 2009. Karnan looms menacingly in the fog. ERT awaits! The castle courtyard and keep look great--nice to see it all finished. Sir, I assume that those are your legs? This is part of the preshow, where you hear about the the legend of Kranan--a medievel castle that was once impregnable and could very well be haunted or cursed. (Don’t you hate it when you discover an impregnable castle and it's cursed?) This is a lousy picture but it’s the only one I have of the library. These bookshelves hide the lockers where you must stash all loose items, including phones and glasses. They also made the ride safety instructions part of the theming. Can’t have anything falling and hurting someone who’s excavating artifacts in the castle, can we? Karnan is a coaster that I find legitimately scary--like Hershey’s Skyrush. There’s crazy airtime all over the place! Looks like Karnan has a huge blister, or maybe a bladder infection. We’ll have another look at this wonderful, insane coaster later. Crazy Mine is one of those old wild mouse coasters that will have you laughing hysterically as it beats your to death. (It’s across from Karnan but I think it's technically part of the Old West town.) Everybody sing along: “Hop aboard the Crazy Mine! It’ll crack your knees and snap your spine! You’ll be at the ER in good time! But it’s all in fun on the Crazy Mine! Yeehaw! Bang! Bang! Wa-hoo!” Yep--your typical Euro-park version of a Wild West town. Here’s a sign you won’t see in any Disney Frontierland. Sigh! I suck at being a cowboy. The Sheriff’s Office is next to the Christmas shop, just in case your holidays get a little too “merry.” This is German for “y’all come back now--hear?” We still cannot escape the watchful eyes of a clown. I remember when the brickwork only went about halfway up Flucht von Novgorod. It’s gotten a bit rougher since I last rode it, but it’s still fun. Sheesh! First it’s creepy clowns, now it’s scarecrows! Somebody light the Bat Signal! We’re just in time to see the Talking Heads, er, Head. This place has stopped making sense! Gerstlauer, get me outta here! Then it whipped around and took me back inside! There’s probably some psycho killer in there now! That looks a little damp. Eric and I decided to find out how damp. (Photo by Jere.) I found out the most. We didn’t ride this, but I thought it was a nice variation on a carousel. More to come.

Just got done with 2 days at the park and wanted to share some thoughts. Of note: I was previously at the park in 2006. Wildcat was closed both days. The only sign of life it showed was I maybe heard some work going on. The park was advertising a limited time run of lights out night rides for a small handful of rides-wildcat included- that started tonight. Laff Track was a neat idea, but flawed execution. I think the park could've added more theming to the standard model spinner. Why the hell has no one really bought another vertical lift coaster from Intamin? Love Fahrenheit. I'd heard the "Thigh Crush" jokes before and thought they were a tad hyperbolic. But now I realize that if you don't come off the ride without bruises, you probably didn't ride Skyrush. No wonder the park wanted a nice, floaty B&M. I wasn't able to ride Stormrunner back in 06, but I made up for it this trip. Nothing quite like an accelerator launch from Intamin. And I quiver to think about how the flying snake dive is on Ride to Happiness compared to the original here. The park could use more flat rides. An S&S Screaming Swing and a Starflyer immediately come to mind. Small thing, but I loved how many easy places the park had where I could fill up my water bottle with ice and cold water.

Part 3 Welcome to Danish Knoebels?: Bakken Denmark is home to the two oldest operating amusement parks in the world. Tivoli Gardens is the second oldest, but Bakken is the oldest. Bakken opened in 1583, and it reminds one a bit of Knoebels--a bunch of rides, games, and restaurants plunked down in the woods. Aside from some of its permanent big rides, Bakken looks like a traveling European fun fair that just decided to settle in one place. Although the park has some clearly defined pathways, the layout seems pretty random, rather than planned. This isn’t a criticism--I like Bakken. To my mind, the park has two signature attractions. The first is Rutschebanen (or “roller coaster”). When I last visited Bakken with TPR in 2009, this ride still had its old trains and brake men (like its cousin at Tivoli Gardens). But the ride has different trains now and a magnetic braking system--no brake men. The ERT session on this coaster was fun, but not as wild as back in 2009. It still delivers some nice airtime. along with a bit of nudity. Speaking of wild, the park’s other signature ride is the only Intamin spinning coaster ever built: Tornado. We were the first to ride it that day, and park ran it in “high-speed” mode. This made the ride’s chain lift into more of a launch, and the cars tore through the track, spinning like crazy! I like this ride, but I can only handle the “high-speed” version once. Some of us tried riding the “normal” version later that day, but the ride ops recognized members of the group and always tripped the “high-speed” setting when they rode. Throw in a wide array of flat rides, a fun haunted house, and a fun house themed to a boat, and that’s Bakken. It’s not a “showplace” like Tivoli Gardens, but it’s still a good park to wile away a day or afternoon. One thing that both parks share, as you may have noticed from the entrance sign--that clown! Are we here for the Pink Floyd Project or the Bryan Adams Tribute? “I’m here for Dodo and the Dodos.” Are you ready for some ERT? Daniel and Andy look ready. Everybody’s ready here! (Photo by Andy Hatzos.) Shane (second row) doesn’t look that ready. Contrast this with Caroline, who looks rather regal as she rides: “From this throne, I shall rule my kingdom.” “We were born ready! Now where’s that tunnel with the nekkid woman?” “Yoo hoo! Over here! But are you guys really ready . . ." . . . for the splendor that is me?” (Facebook would probably not allow this photo.) Oh, you think you’re “vilde”? I’ll show you “vilde”! Seriously, I thought our car would never stop spinning at the end of Tornado. The Danes have the U.S. figured out. WHEEL . . . OF . . . BOXING? “Hi, kids! Count Floyd here with another really scary episode of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre!” “Oh, this guy scares me! He scares me so much!” “So, you think clowns are scary? Try blurry GHOST CLOWNS! They scared themselves, they're so scary!” Yay! Bakken still has Desperadoes! “Yup--gonna clean up this here town with ol’Bessie.” “Real men shoot their guns upside down!” “Shoot off your guns, not your mouths.” So, Bakken has a fun house that’s really a “boat”? Why not? The boat has its own lighthouse? Now we just have to find some rocks not to crash into. I bet this is still better than Golden Corral. OK, who broke the boat? As captain, I’m getting increasingly annoyed with the lack of discipline on this vessel. These look more like circus peanuts than churros to me. “Vun Dracula! Two Draculas! Ah, ah, ah!” This ride is fairly crazy for a family mine-train coaster. It whips around at insane speed. Sometimes, tree branches slap your face! But Mine Train Ulven has its own cat, so it's cute. The American Experience as seen in Denmark. This fellow used to be the park’s ambassador in days past. He had interesting taste in neckwear. He was a fairly creepy Santa Claus, too. Do not disturb Robb while he's making art. “Who dares to challenge me for this pretzel remnant?” What? I missed the clown show? Darn it. No, I don’t need to go that badly, thank you. Spot Robb in this photo. Maybe you’ll win a kewpie doll (most likely not). My thanks to TPR and the Bakken staff for such an enjoyable day. I like these old prints.

More from a great day at Tivoli Gardens! “Hello! I’m Hans Christian Anderson! Please join me in my Flying Trunk, and I’ll tell you some of my delightful fairy tales.” “These stories often involve conflicts between the nobility and the working classes.” “Sometimes, there’s a bit of nudity.” “Here’s a charming story about a ‘Little Match Girl’ who freezes to death while a wealthy family enjoys Christmas in their nice, warm house. Happy Holidays, everyone!” “The ‘Snow Queen’ is an enchanting tale involving trolls, mirrors that distort reality, robbery, kidnapping, brainwashing, imprisonment, and forced servitude! It will warm your heart!” Robb mentioned that this street reminded him of Diagon Alley at Universal. Walt Disney saw this and thought, “I want my park to be just like this--only without boobs.” Oh no! My cat, Ligeia, escaped from the kennel and followed me to Copenhagen! She looks crazed! Maybe I can lose her in the Fun House. There’s a nice little aquarium, too--but don’t stick your hand in the piranha tank! The aquarium is available for receptions and other special events. The piranhas would love to have you for dinner. You were warned to watch out for clowns! I’d be hard pressed to find a park that’s more beautiful that Tivoli Gardens. Villa Vendetta is in the building in the background. How many unfortunate souls have lost their hats there? The only way to destroy a clown is to cut off its head with giant pinchers, then stuff the head with garlic and cotton candy. The clown was part of a pantomime they’ve been performing at the park for years. This peacock “curtain” was pretty cool. Some of us enjoyed traditional Danish open-face sandwiches for dinner. This is smoked salmon and a poached egg in a dill sauce--very tasty. “Ride me again! I dare you!” “You’ll keep riding until you promise to eat a Screaming Demon Burger! I get 10 percent of the profits from each burger sold! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!” The sun very gradually sets on Tivoli Gardens. This is my favorite Star Flyer ride--great view and theming. I wish the park stayed open a bit later--the lights would be more effective. But the days are very long in Scandinavia this time of year. Even so, the park still looks nice at twilight. Time to head out. Good night, Tivoli! It’s been a great day. My thanks to TPR and the park staff for making it so.

Photo by Robb Alvey. Part 2 The Old Meets the New at Tivoli Gardens Disney lore says that Tivoli Gardens was part of the inspiration for Disneyland. I don’t doubt it. It’s easy to see how this urban park with its beautiful grounds and attractions meant for the entire family may have influenced Walt Disney to develop a park of his own--and spawn a new form of entertainment in the bargain. I first visited Tivoli Gardens in 2009 with TPR and immediately became a fan of the place. While it doesn’t have as many attractions as more modern theme parks do, what it has is very good indeed. Throw in Tivoli’s beautiful grounds and good restaurants, and you have a great place to just hang out and relax. As for the park’s attractions, their old-school wooden coaster, with its brake men and “mountain” setting, is still a classic. Daemonen is still the cutest little ‘ol B&M floorless coaster you’ve ever seen. If you’re a fan a crazy flat rides, Tivoli has you covered. They also have a very entertaining walk-through haunt: Villa Vendetta. The haunt’s story involves a forgotten noble family that used to work in the gardens--but now they’re crazy! I won’t give any surprises away, but the scare actors WILL touch you and steal your hat (I got mine back)--and you better be comfortable walking through in a “conga line” (like Liseberg’s Hotel Gasten). In short, Tivoli Gardens is an excellent example of the transition from traditional amusement parks to theme parks--and of an outstanding European urban park. It still has the “random” quality of old amusement parks, but also boasts some nicely themed sections. All theme-park enthusiasts should visit Tivoli. Let’s walk around, shall we? “Welcome to Tivoli! I shall be happy to walk you over the roller coaster and share some of our park’s history. But first, a friendly word of warning." "You may encounter clowns!” (Pierrot the clown seems to be a very popular figure at Danish theme parks.) The park’s classic woodie gives off a bit of a Matterhorn vibe. They had done a lot of work restoring the ride’s original theming since 2009, and it looks great. Who wants to go backstage? The roller-coaster ops have a tradition of collecting old signs and props from the park and hanging them in their work area. You can see a lot of Tivoli’s history in here. I think this guy may have been working here too long. Deep inside the mountain itself! Yep--that’s the track. It’s the job of the brake man to keep the train on it while delivering the best ride possible. This is one of the oldest operating roller coasters in the world. A closer look at the mountain’s peak. You need Sherpa guides to climb any higher. Looks like there’s a nice bit of airtime here. It takes a special type of ride op to be a brake man . . . . . . as you can tell. This is the best Uber ever. How many backstage tours let you ride down from halfway? (My apologies for not remembering who took this picture--my best guess is Robb or Elissa.) “Yes, I may look like an adorable little B&M floorless coaster, but I am still a DEMON! FEAR ME!” It may not be the biggest B&M ride ever built . . . . . . but it’s a helluva lot of fun. (Photo from Robb Alvey’s rider cam.) You survived the ride, but the burger might kill you! Scream as the Demon Burger tortures your digestive system in ways you could never imagine! Yet you'll enjoy every second of it! Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Be careful--even the trash can will try to seduce you to eat a Demon Burger. “Once upon a time, . . . . . . a Frisbee and a Condor loved each other very much and made a baby.” I think Bert really loves camels. Must be the humps. Make way! Maharajah Big Mike is going on safari. One more set of photos to come.

Part 1 Is It a Fever Dream . . . or BonBon Land? Ever woke up drenched in sweat and not quite sure of where you are or what happened? If so, you just might be in BonBon Land. Or is that “Bon Bon-Land”? “Bon Bon Land?” At this point, I have no idea. Let’s stick with BonBon Land, as that what the sign says out front. What can one say about a theme park that was started by a candy company that catered to a child’s infatuation with bodily orifices and functions? That is home not only to the world’s oldest Eurofighter but also to a kiddie coaster celebrating canine flatulence? Where outrageous caricatures and stereotypes are the rule, sensibilities be damned? All you can do is throw up your hands (and maybe your Danish/Mexican lunch) and say, “See for yourself.” Just go to Denmark and don’t be fooled by what first appears to be a rather old industrial park--there’s parking, roller coasters, and disturbing statues back there, I promise you. Although the park has changed hands since 2009 and become a trifle less outrageous, you should still be ready to ask this question after your visit: “What in the hell just happened?” “Ya wanna lick my ice cream bar? It will cost you about 5 percent of your sanity and a bit of your soul!” This is Vild-Svinet (or “Wild Boar”). It was the first Eurofighter ever built back in 2003. Yes, it’s themed to a pig race . . . . . . as envisioned by the legendary Big Daddy Roth. (I have no evidence that the creator of Rat Fink had anything to do with this ride. But this looks pretty “Roth-like.”) While not exactly smooth as glass . . . . . . it’s not as painful as you might think. I think this cat was embarrassed to be seen in public with me. Or maybe because he’s a cat with a spinning mouse coaster. Behold the legendary Henry, Lord of the Dog Fart Coaster! Yes, I’m sure that Vikings in Valhalla sing lusty drinking songs in praise of his mighty name. Yes, Henry might have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Whew! Henry feels much better now. “Yay! We’ve learned so much about the canine colon today! BonBon Land is so educational.” Now here is a coaster train . . . . . . of truly epic length. Some strong-stomached souls took on this challenge. I raise my flagon to them. They conquered not only the Giant Frisbee . . . . . . but also a Danish/Mexican lunch. (They had these tortilla-wrap sandwiches that were pretty decent.) Can your heart stand BonBon Land’s provocative take on “It’s a Small World”? Is Italy full of depressed dogs in chef’s hats playing the guitar or mandolin? If so, do they suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome? BonBon Land is not afraid to ask the tough questions! Oh, this ought to be good. Yep--there’s the American experience, alright. Who will save us from this post-apocalyptic hell space? Thank you, heroic Australian postal kangaroo! You’ve saved us . . . but for what? Whew! Good to be back in the ol’ USA, again. Er, I think it’s good. This certainly took a dark turn. “Nymph in thy orisons . . . . . . be all my sins remembered.” A flume ride themed to rats, cheese, and a sewer? Eric and I said, “Well, why not?” “Hi there! I’m smiling, but please remember that I’m still vermin and aid the process of decomposition. It’s the Circle of Life, baby!” “Like the bug said. But if you get too close to our cheese, you’ll be part of the Circle of Life pretty damn quick--got it?” Even the bacteria swimming in this water have a role to play in the Circle of Life. Did all this happen, or was it just one strange dream? Nah--it happened. BonBon Land will do that to you. Henry double dog dares you to eat his “candy.” That’s it for BonBon Land.