YELP.com

[WFChris]

Hello everybody,

 

Last night I was aimlessly browsing the internet when I decided to start looking up theme parks on Yelp.com.

 

WOW. Thats basically all I can say. I don't post very often here, but I'm on TPR every day, and I suppose there is a certain level of quality I have come to expect out of reviews for a park. From "Skip Gold Rusher because it is wood and it hurts," to a post placed a few months ago about how wonderfully Kingdom of the Dinosaurs is running, it was all easily cringe-able. "I believe the Log Ride at Knotts has one of the steepest drops on a log ride."

 

Anyway, the reason I am posting this, is maybe we can invade Yelp.com and put on some, at least, ACCURATE reviews of the parks? I only checked my local west coast parks but somehow I think the problem extends beyond California.

 

Tell me what you think, or post your favorite GP reports here:)

 

Chris.

[Crazy4Coasters!]

Yea it just makes you realize what a "diamond in the rough" TPR really is... Psssst Robb, does that sucking up add up to some major points? LOL!

 

No but really TPR just gives you a perspective on how really organized and current this site is. Long live to TPR!!!

[Guest]

People post reviews of pretty much everything on Yahoo including parks on Yahoo Travel, although I find many of them are angry housewives who think theme parks are nasty because they paid $50 to get in and there was a french fry on the ground or because the place is run by teenagers who dont give good directions to the bathrooms (basically like to complain about everything because they have nothing better to do).

 

You cant excpect reviews from people saying "Riddler was an AWESOME B&M standup, way better than Chang!" though because 99% of people are going to a park for something fun to do with their friends and dont give a crap about anything more than that. Which is good, because a park full of ACE-type people would be really

[dandaman]

^Not to mention the national food/gravy shortage sure to follow.

[coasterdude5]

I don't know, we probably sound stupid to the "enthusiasts" of other hobbies. Except we know how to type!

[paintballer]

Supposably the "Texas Titan" at SFoT was rougher then 4 years ago! And Wildcatter Spins now! HA!

[Wes]

Supposabley

[chemical_echo]

I read over some SFDK reviews since I'm heading to California in a few days.

One reviewer likes the word "umph" and tells thrill seekers where to sit on each ride to get the best "umph".

Tony Hawk - "...For best umph, ride with the Klumps."

All of her other coaster suggestions is just the back seat.

Medusa - "As the coaster train is going up, you're thinking 'Wow, this is high up'. Then you reach the peak and think it'll drop, but dips then drops. EPIC FAIL!"

 

Lots of fun reviews to read including lots of profanity and people talking about "ghetto passes," whatever those are.

[kalvin]

On one of the Kings Island's reviews this guy said that the Racer was left over from the Coney Island days.

[chmilo24]

Here is one I found funny about SFDK:

Can I say something?

 

Yeah, I'd like to point out that whenever I looked into the cages of these wild animals, even though I know they're endangered and are being taken care of, I can't help but think that those poor creatures are just absolutely miserable. It saddens me to absolutely no end, to see a LION and two lionesses in a cage that is smaller than my house. They're majestic for fuck's sake!

 

Now, onto the rest of the review. Do you want to know what is wrong with America?

 

Go to Six Flags. I saw more obese people here than at a Overeaters Anonymous clinic. Not only that, but there were apparently cheerleading championships here, which only furthered my opinion that a) I'm a little ashamed to have been one, and b) I'm never, ever, EVER letting my daughter participate in such a sport unless it's BIG competition. As I was waiting in line for 2 hours for a 30 second ride, some 11 year old was wearing a skirt so high that a woman down below (where we were standing) called out, "does your mother know you look like a tramp!?"

 

Wow.

 

Overpriced, overcrowded, overhyped. But I did finally go on my first rollercoaster, and will admit that was fun. Scary and I want to wring my friend's neck for making me go, but fun.

 

And I got to see the LELAPHANTS...take a dump all over the stage floor.

 

--Chris

[paintballer]

Supposabley

 

Kill me.

[coolhandluke]

^^I don't feel sorry for zoo animals. I envy them. Get red meat by personal servants every day, personal swimming pool, take a crap wherever you want, take naps all day, and all the while being a celebrity with thousands of eyes watching you, not caring if you do something embarassing.

 

Only downside is it'd be tough to ride coasters...

[chmilo24]

^You know, I never really thought about it that way. Being a zoo animal is would be awesome! Except those darn PETA people would be always on my a$$ tring to free me and stuff.

 

--Chris

[WFChris]

"X2 and Tatsu was by far the BESTEST rides of my life! I've ridden on Tatsu before.. about 2 years ago and it still made my heart beat fast. "

 

Chris.

[ginzo]

awww who doesnt love disneyland although im a hardcore six flags fan but disneyland for the kiddies! not a big fan of the teacup rides though cause its a kiddy ride and any full grown adult riding in that is gay other than that i love disneyland.

 

Knott's Berry Farm is like the ugly bastard stepchild that Disneyland and Universal Studios had, that stupid summer they didn't use protection in 69'...and was abandoned in the garbage dumpster...with it's umbilical cord still attached.

 

Just arriving at the front gates irritate my bowels, what that hell is that monstrosity they have flanking the front now? I know, I know, it's the Ghost Rider, but I seriously try to stay away from that THING, I believe inhaling the air around it will give you splinters in your lungs...let alone what part of your body you'll be making into a particle board after riding it.

 

One whole star just for serving booze at this park. I think I tend to spend more of my time getting sloshed than in line for some ride everytime I'm here? I swear I'm not an alcoholic, I just like to occupy my time with something after I've DONE EVERYTHING in a park in just 4 hours time.

 

That's present day Disney's California Adventure for you. Thank God for those Southern California Park-Hoppers...it is completely ill-advised to pay full price for this park right now.

[the ghost]

Their MOTHER was in line close to the front and started yelling at me to let her kids get past. I said no. And the screaming battle started. She told me she was going to call security. I said go ahead because her kids were breaking the law

 

How is line jumping breaking the law, I mean its against park rules but not against the law. Also who doesn't let kids cut if their parents are ahead in line? I mean if there is an entire family I'll say no, but a couple of kids.

[chemical_echo]

^You know, I never really thought about it that way. Being a zoo animal is would be awesome! Except those darn PETA people would be always on my a$$ tring to free me and stuff.

 

--Chris

Unless you ate them...but eating a PETA member wouldn't be too satisfying for something like a Polar Bear (my me-animal of choice).