PTR: Brent's TR's - 2009 TPR Scandinavia Tour

[downunder]

Rye Slayland

 

The prospect of 5 quick credits was mildly interesting but the prospect of Toro, Ka, and Nitro the next day was more on my mind. So I came to Rye Slayland with no real expectations, good or bad.

 

I lined up for the Wild Mouse, which took a while, then WTF I'm too tall to ride! Then I watch taller people get let on, I'm starting to think there was some kind of profiling going on. Male, middle class, white heterosexual male - we're all so bad especially us from downunder. I also think not being a career criminal put you firmly in the minority at Slayland.

 

The wood kiddie coaster was an if you are over 2 foot tall, don't even think about it. The coaster looked like a toy it was that small, hobbit children would have struggled to score a ride on this one. Though one of the tallest members of the tour did get a ride by harassing the ride op until they let them on just to get rid of them.

 

Dragon was an OK woodie, neither thrilling or punishing, like Buffalo. The Zamperla Volare flyer was like a contraption from Saw, except I don't think even mad serial killer Jigsaw would be that cruel. There was another steel kiddie credit that was nothing to write home about.

 

Still we managed to find plenty of ways to have fun at Rye Gunplayland.

The rides were well lit, mainly to stop people stealing them.

This ride had so many familar faces jumping out - Freddy Krueger, Predator etc. Copyright Infringement - the ride.

Dragon Coaster had a cool looking tunnel and a very uncool locker policy - it was like if Hitler ran Six Flags.

Just what I thought.

Passionate was a real step up for me from non-committal, well passionate for a while.

This ride is very similiar to x-scream at Stratosphere, except it's 2 feet off the ground - which was fortunate because Adam and Bethany managed to break this one.

These guys got the living fudge belted out of them. Dave and Mike (Fudge) had no last name after they got off.

Another day, another Zamperla Volare, another brain injury, another neutering, another bout of needless suffering.

Natasha Bedingfield was coming to Rye Playland but this is what I had to settle for. This act was so low down the entertainment totem pole, they weren't even allowed to wear coloured clothes.

Wake me up when zombie castle ends - rubbish, a wank! I think Mike Austin might have liked it.

Zombie Castle seemed to have no zombies, or scares. Even screaming Josh wouldn't have been scared on this one.

Welcome R & E, Rye Playand hospitality equates to a quick death rather than the usual blow torches, pliers & Barry Manilow music.

[rollin_n_coastin]

Ah....memories

 

Thank goodness for the Burger Kings..made the night lol

 

You have to admit, the place sure had a one-of-a-kind vibe. I mean...too tall to ride the mouse at 5'10'', the turbo-charged whip and horse race people were just plain yelling at everybody lol

 

Brent, wasn't Flo Rida playing the next night or the night before?

[downunder]

Brent, wasn't Flo Rida playing the next night or the night before?

 

I heard something about Flo Rida but I'm not sure whether he was there before or after our visit, I was more lusting for Natasha Bedingfield to make an appearance. I was amazed at the acts that were playing at some of the parks on the trip - Peter Frampton, Survivor, Alter Bridge and so on.

 

In spite of my caustic TR, I did have fun, as I did at every park. Compared to my local park, Rye Playland is Great Adventure.

[krazekiddd]

 

Brent, wasn't Flo Rida playing the next night or the night before?

 

That was at Six Flags America

[rollin_n_coastin]

^haha yah I completely lost track. Like Brent mentioned, so many people performing at theme parks that you'd never expect

[philthephorce]

Pretty funny lines, Brent. I wish some people would contract the task of adding captions to some of the longer photo trip reports to you.

 

Who got the Staple 'N' Slap first?

[hyyyper]

^I'm not sure entirely, but I believe it was a women getting stapled at S:ROS by a black female operator.

You should ask Kerry or David, I'm sure they know.

[downunder]

It wouldn't have mattered you were stapled on SROS at SFA due to the complete absence of negative g-forces. Never has such a potentially awesome coaster been so emasculated by lack of maintenance.

 

Six Flags Awful could be Six Flags Awesome with some maintenance and motivated staff.

[philthephorce]

As far as SROS at SFA goes, I only like the beginning sequence (first drop, ground hugging turn, steep climb) and the bunnies at the end. What makes me not care much for the ride is the filler in the middle which seems to exist, IMO, only to sap momentum from the train...whether or not you have fun during that stretch was way down on the list of priorities. Oh yeah, there were a couple decent head choppers in there too.

 

What a weird layout.

[downunder]

The thing that polarised so many of us about SROS at SFA is that all of us who went on the Behemoth trip went on the ROS at Darien Lake which is an identical layout and that was so much better.

 

So we knew what the SFA version was capable of, and it way below it's potential.

[downunder]

Six Flags Great Adventure Part 1

 

My relationship with great adventure started in 2004, and it's been a bit like a relationship with a girl where you put up with unreasonable crap because she's good looking. I've put up with Great Adventure's crap because of the stellar coaster line up. My last visit prior to the TPR trip in 2006 was only made bearable by a gold q-bot.

 

Well times have changed and Six Flags has undergone a Darth Vader back to Annakin Skywalker like transformation, not perfect but a hell of a lot better.

 

We had ERT on the Dark Knight first up, I had low expectations and those expectations were exceeded, downwards that is. A largely pointless pre-show led to a stock wild mouse. I'd go postal if I'd had to line up for 2 hours plus to go on this.

 

The special effects on Dark Knight were only slightly above Disaster Transport at Cedar Point, they looked like a spray paint and paper mache job from 12 year olds (no, that's an insult to 12 year olds). This ride was a misfire and I think Six Flags know it, hell, they sent the last one down to Mexico. I think Mexico deserves better.

 

El Toro was next for ERT, it wasn't running at it's best early in the morning but still sensational. This was followed with the first ride of the day front row on Kingda Ka, I have to admit it was a sensational ride.

 

We got some rides on Road Runner Railway, Skull Mountain, and Nitro. Things were looking good, Matt's mom dropped by to pick up his laundry which was the entire New York Yankee clothing merchandise range.

 

Then it rained, and only two rides which were opened were Dark Knight and the 3D thing for the rest of the day, what did we do? We marathoned Dark Knight, and at times we fell asleep while riding. It was a cruel and unusual twist to our day but sometimes you've got to just take what you get.

 

I've thrown in a few retro photos so let's see if you can spot them.

If that's an airtime hill then I'm Michael Jordan. I'd be doing a lot more TPR trips if I was Michael Jordan and I'd be playing less golf, gambling less, and bat better in baseball.

 

To be continued....

Wait a minute, Marineland's Dragon Mountain is biggest (as claimed on their website). But biggest turned out to be a very crafty use of semantics by Marineland, something to do with the size of land area covered or something. I think Marineland also has the biggest amount of unused land and biggest distance between attractions.

Jolly green lawn ornament no more. It's alive, unlike most coaster enthusiast's love lives.

Not today, no Kingda Klosed for us. Six Flags signature "mines bigger than yours, Cedar Point" coaster. I would have worried about being better. Well Toro made up for that.

My only gripe with El Toro is that I wanted even more airtime, the 3 airtime spots and the drop are so good they make the rest of the ride seem ordinary by comparison. But femur snapping airtime overload may not go down too well with those wimpy non enthusiast types. Oh yeah aren't coaster nerds the wimps.

The lift hill is so quick that it is not far off being a launched woodie, which has long since been rumoured on Lemon Chill Guy forums all over the net.

I wish Mythbusters would do something to see how far you would get thrown out of your seat on this airtime hill. The airtime is so extreme it should be sponsored by Pepsi max.

The best drop since Britney f##cked off K-Fed. I thought a drop like this could only exist in the world of the Simpson's like at Duff Gardens. In the back row, the lap bar is the only thing between you and certain death.

Now that's better, the Bull with balls - Raging Bull at Six Flags Great America in Chicago just cowers away in utter unworthiness.

Next up was El Toro, WTF! Definitely not a positive moment for time travel.

The verdict on Dull Knight was emphatic and unanimous. This photo was the onride which is taken on the last drop which is the least sleep inducing part of the ride. Geez, putting theming on this coaster was like putting icing on a dog turd.

If there was any justice, the Dark Knight would get a truck load of Nitro. Bring back Chiller, if it took up too much electricty attach it to a bunch of bikes to power it and get those fat ACErs peddling.

Nitro was still asleep, but soon it would unleash the B & M fury, well the smooth floating airtime fury.

The park was as empty as Homer Simpson's skull when we got there. Some people might think of that as lonely but I felt like Cartman - the park is mine assmasters.

[Wood Dragon 1988]

I guess I am a big sucker for boxed mice. Exterminator at Kennywood was great (although I rode the pitch black version at Fright Nights). Exterminator utilizes what is otherwise one of my least favorite coaster models ever.

 

I actually thought Dark Night was well enhanced by the box. Much more fun than a traditional Mack Mouse, and the themeing was "good for Six Flags."

[downunder]

^ I liked Exterminator, and I love Scooby Doo at Movie World.

 

I agree that enclosing it made it better, but I felt considering the amount of money they spent on Dark Knight, they could have brought a lot more interesting coaster.

[Speeddeamon128]

Nice update Brent! Yeah my mom picked up my laundry at a locker that I left it in

[YoshiFan]

^ I liked Exterminator, and I love Scooby Doo at Movie World.

 

I agree that enclosing it made it better, but I felt considering the amount of money they spent on Dark Knight, they could have brought a lot more interesting coaster.

 

Or bought a huge flat ride collection. What a waste of $7.5 million. I have never heard such negative comments about any coaster as I heard what people said about TDK while at Great Adventure this past season. Tons of people exiting saying how bad it is, and one guy even went so far as to say to the entire line in May, "Please, I'm begging you, get out of line, it's horrible."

[Lenaapple1974]

Nice TR. Cannot wait for the rest. Loved the Batman pic with no Nitro! I actually took a second to notice that. Unfortunately, Nitro is still not my favorite ride in the park... lots of people I know disagree. I love El Toro though. And get this... what makes Nitro not a plus for me is that first drop. I just cannot get used to it. It kills me every time. I know its not the height issue, cuz El Toro is like the same height! That Viper picture scared me! LOL

 

Too bad for Dark "dull" Knight. I actually didn't get to go to GA this year, even though it is my home park. I was not in a rush either for a Wild Mouse ride. I figured I would eventually get there. It has to be slightly more interesting than the run of the mill Wild Mouse's though, no? Can anyone compare Dark Knight to one? I usually don't waste my time on those. Is Prime Evil Whirl considered one? If so, that was my last one in 2005.

[Goliath513]

I must be one of the only ones who actually enjoyed Dark Knight. The ride itself was quite more enjoyable than other mouse rides I've been on. What little theming it had after the pre-show area made it more of a unique experience than anything else. Keep in mind, this is coming from someone whose old home park got a coaster last year with an even more pathetic theme concept.

 

The Dark Knight > Tony Hawk's Big Spin

 

 

 

As for the rest of the park, I had been there just a few days earlier and got in the rest of my credits (with the exception of Superman). So I was only mildly disappointed we had to leave because of the rain.

[downunder]

The thing that annoyed me about Dark Knight was that there is all this build up to was very ordinary, even for a wild mouse.

 

I think they could have put something much more interesting in that box without altering their capital expenditure on the project. Maybe they wanted something that would just amble by the "theming" - well they certainly got that.

 

It was so ironic that it was the only coaster open for most of the day, marathoning that thing was mind numbing.

[downunder]

Six Flags Great Adventure Part 2

 

Here's part 2, not much to say, it rained and didn't stop.

 

We left early into the most hellish traffic I have ever seen when we were passing through Washington. There were so many cars you'd think they were fleeing a pending nuclear strike on Washington.

 

Anyway I did do Dance Dance Revolution for the first time ever, I did alright, though I think my best steps are still on the football field.

 

See if you can spot the retro photos.

Yes, the weather was much better in my dreams. That was until I found myself with an ex on a lifeboat on the Titanic, WTF, very strange dream, I'm sure Freud would have got something out of it.

NEXT REPORT: Sux Flags Awful.

While I was asleep during my Dark Knight marathon I dreamed of happier times.

PETA tried freeing this tiger but when they broke in they found out it was just a hologram. Though I wonder what are the native animals of New Jersey - the CHUD, mutant sewer rat, Jon Bon Jovi?

Batman soars before the deluge, ubiquitous but always fun and intense. As far as superhero coasters go, I'm still waiting for a Blankman Coaster, and what about the Hebrew Hammer?

Not for much longer, I think GAdv must have hired the guy from Cedar Point to do their rain policy. Even indoor coasters close, and everything else - the similarities to Cedar Point are startling.

My humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely coaster lumps. Supreme coaster porn, somewhere in an internet kiosk a coaster geek gets over excited, and the jizz mopper is called in.

What is wrong with this picture but oh so right?

I ran into The Phantom in the skull cave, I complimented him on a rather impressive head butt in the last Phantom film. Believe it or not, this thing actually shuts in the rain, the explanation from a ride op required 5 years of electrical engineering to fully comprehend.

It does look good, my camera can't stop taking photos of it - good looking but boring, I know that a little too well.

Standard GAdv car park shot, well what did you expect, I'm not Annie Leibowitz just Neville Nobody from Australia. I was worried more about not getting eaten by a shark or envenomated by ugly bitey things when I get home.

Superman wasn't going to be flying for much longer, rain stops this thing better than a shipload of Kryptonite. It's amazing how these coasters consistently get 2 hour lines but I guess mediocrity is always popular if it's packaged right.

Nitro, better known as Nyquil offered relaxation and a nice view. A cool coaster but I prefer the monster ejector air on the other side of the park.

After 5 visits I had finally found this thing (not that I looked that hard), new credit, ka-ching. Scott has a look on his face like he just found the mother-lode.

I love you Gold Q-bot even if you were only informing me that everything except Dark Knight and something else crappy were the only things open. If only I could have a Gold Q-bot for life in general but that's what being rich and/or famous is for.

The Scream Machine is defintely not a Great American like Will Smith, The Fresh Prince, Homer Simpson, or Arnold Schwarzenegger. More like Godawful Arrow Spine Annihlator - anyway the rain would soon stop the abuse for the day.

[krazekiddd]

^Apparently there is something hilarious in my camera. I have no idea what!

[Lenaapple1974]

LOL..(CHUD - that god awful movie!! But I actually own the DVD!)

 

So were you referring to Freefall or Chiller? Great retro shots! I love that you are doing that. It makes your rained out TR awesome!

 

You do not like Superman? I think its definitely too short, but totally love the ride. I usually ride it every time I go. The last time the line was soooo long! And it rained too. Got to ride El Toro, Medusa and Batman all with October rain hitting my face. LOL. OH, speaking of rain, I almost forgot. The last SFGA trip I went on I still brought my camera. Someone had mentioned that they didn't want to ruin their camera with the rain etc. I really don't remember where I read it, but since I am thinking of it and you had rain on your trip... I used a clear plastic bag and took pics anyhow! Maybe if I feel up to it, I will post a TR.

 

Anyhow, thanks for posting your TR! I love reading everything...and especially love seeing the pics!

[downunder]

^I wouldn't say I hate Superman, except for the pretzel loop I just think it's very bland but on the whole I'm not a fan of flyers, like I got bored of Tatsu after a while.

 

Sigh, what was right with that picture - Chiller, it was such a good coaster even if it blacked out the county when they ran both sides at the same time. I only ever got to ride Robin and I thought that was pretty good.

 

As far as photo taking goes, I have been pretty lazy on TPR trips because I am so busy. I think to take good photos you really have to set aside some time to go around the park and just do photos which I wasn't really prepared to make time for. The rain put paid to that at GAdv anyway - there was hardly anything running and I generally prefer to snap rides when they are going.

 

You know I've never actually seen CHUD but I have heard about it, I would say that seeing CHUD isn't on my bucket list.

[Lenaapple1974]

I feel like I am the only person in creation that loves pretzle loops... Ah... Chiller. I was hoping that's what you meant! That ride didnt impress me. Although, as most people, I only got to ride the (right) side. I was so unimpressed with it that I don't even know which one it was. I am glad I got to ride before they changed the track though.

 

I hear ya with the photos. For me, that is something I normally do - time or not. LOL. My facebook status actually for the last week was that I took over 17,000 pics in 2008! LOL. Yeah... nuts...but I fit it in somehow.

 

CHUD... not something I would strive to watch either. It was a movie that I kept finding that I had to explain to my children during various conversations... so I bought it as one of those childhood memory things, to show the kiddies. LOL. Watched it once...it has sat there ever since! I just remembered it creeping me out when I was younger.

[downunder]

^I got some really intense rides on Chiller Robin Side, that's the side that doesn't have the top hat BTW, loved that it didn't have OTSR's. Then again I really like Flight of Fear as well, another Premier.

 

As for CHUD, it seems to have snuck into the vernacular, like in Clerks II, Randall (in reference to Dante): "your hideous CHUD of a love child" to paraphrase.

[downunder]

Sux Flags America

 

The first bad sign was that the reception of the Hotel near the park the night before had a bulletproof shield, welcome to the really superbadlands.

 

Now if I told you we were going to a park that had 7 coasters including an Intamin hyper, a Premier spaghetti bowl, a GCI woodie, a PTC woodie, a flyer, an invert - you'd think that would stir the loins of any coaster geek.

 

Well you get there and the Intamin and Premier are going at something considerably less than warp speed, the woodies are running about as well as SFA staff morale, and the the flyer and invert are Vekoma's & top it off the kiddie coaster is more intense than some of the former.

 

I felt sorry for the poor PR girl as we showed up at ERT coaster 1, not working, ERT coaster 2 - come back later, of course the coaster 3 was the Vekoma which offered us plentiful rides but I settled for one.

 

On paper this park looks great but in practice not so good. The rides don't run well when they are potentially great rides (at least some of them). Most employees look like they'd rather be an inmate at Camp X-ray than working at SFA.

 

After our epic walk to the picnic area, so epic it would have kept Frodo and his boyfriend at home. A vote was taken on whether to leave the park early or not. You can't get much more unamimous than 100% (well I rounded screech and mike back to zero), and I hope the Six Flags people there got the message. I hate to see wasted potential, especially when there is a lot of potential.

 

We all escaped without any scrapes or bullet holes - I'm sure getting shot is still not an excuse for being late for the bus on a TPR tour. I wonder if you have already been shot if that would make any other criminals less inclined to shoot you again later on the Greyhound you would be on trying to catch up to the TPR tour, I'll leave that one to the criminologists.

 

Anyway, we had gone through the most nightmarish traffic ever to get to Washington, you'd think people were trying to get in early for a good spot at the Obama inaugeration. We were under siege all night at the hotel and then SFA, it was a tough 24 hours that made us appreciate everything that involved not being at SFA.

 

Next up Busch Gardens Eurobeer.

We came, we got bored, we left. The longest queue was to leave the place

These guys fought for America the beautiful, America the brave, but America the bland?

The best part was that up top you could see beyond the walls of SFA, there was hope, until you realised it was Capitol Heights.

Whether it's Saturday night at Northies or at SFA, wonder bras always suck me in, doesn't this come under false advertising laws?

This was one of the rougher SLC's I have been on, though that's like comparing being shot by different guns which was also something that you could do at SFA.

The Duck looked shocked, newly gay Adam was going to keep him in a box in the luggage hold and call him the Gimp.

Yosemite Sam was offering HJ's for money just to afford the Greyhound to escape. He made $4.99 from the Thunder bus.

Tweety, Foghorn, & Bugs had their arms up because they were being held up by one of the kids. Where's that 4 X 2 when you need it Foghorn?

The sign says "For your thrill experience enjoy one of our other coasters". Thrill, enjoy and SFA are mutually exclusive terms, fix your sign bucko. On the left sign, it says "No Line Cutting", I wondered if that prohibition extended to cutting yourself while in line, SFA was turning this slightly bronzed Aussie emo - like Gerard Way would have told me to lighten up.

Roar was poor, GCI coasters are awesome but when they fall into the wrong hands; cruel, uncaring hands - don't blame Joe and the boys at GCI.

Yay, win a car instead of stealing or jacking one. But a crack fix waits for no man, the car was soon gone.

The Skull at SFA was like Skull Mountain except without a ride that actually works. Flo Rida was supposed to take the stage, but someone capped him in the parking lot.

Wild One was rated by some prior to the trip but there was no love for TPR, or airtime, or excitement, or anything of interest. I counted it as a scenic railway credit.

I thought it was going to valley at this point. The excuse for running it so slow is because there is no mid-course brake. I think it is because SFA couldn't get enough budget to pay for electricity for the launch, so they put Mr Six down there when he got retired and made him pull each train.

Cool sign, but this ride was about as lively as test pattern on the golf channel.

Down she goes, people adjusted their video cameras thinking they were filming in slow motion.

"Come back when we care - like never, TPR bitches!" Ride of Steel ran more like a ride of macrame. I think the wheels buckled at any opportunity to give us some of that formerly trademark airtime.

"Dear Lord, please stop! Ow, I was saving that kidney to donate it to save my dying mother. Ouch, my head, I can't feel my ears".

Cruelly, the Vekoma Flying Dutchman was working for ERT. The first crash test dummies seemed apprehensive, this coaster is the scariest dutchman since Goldmember.

The celebratory floats gathered dust waiting for the inauguration of the park being made decent again.

Max (Indian name: "Dances With Glowsticks") had managed to avoid the trouser snakes on the Thunder Bus but not this fearsome creature.

The entrance looked stately and colonial like the one at Six Flags New England except without any SFNE goodness after that.