I had surgery today...

[Jordan Shankman]

Well, I survived it, but it wasn't easy.

 

I woke up today at 10:30 very relaxed. I wasn't worried about my surgery at all. I took my time getting up, and then had a nice long bath...it was good. I got dressed and went down stairs to send a few e-mails concerning my new website. That took about an hour, which was longer than I expected, but whatever. My mom called me around 11:30 to remind me that she would be picking me up in an hour. I was getting ancy, so I put my shoes on and just started pacing around the house. Played with my cats, layed on the couch, and called my dad to let him know I was leaving. He wished me luck and by then my mom was in the driveway waiting for me. I walked out to the car really slow with a sad face and she was like "chop chop! haha i'm so funney."She's stupid, but I love her.

 

The hospital I was going to was called the Marietta Surgical Center, and it was about a 30 minute drive from the house. Once we arrived, we checked in at the front desk and my mom filled out some papers. We were then sent to the waiting room where we waited no more than three minutes. This is when I met Sandy. *shudders* This HUGE lady comes barreling through the surgery doors into the waiting room and was like "HIGH JORDAN I'M SANDY NICE TO MEET YOU -breathes heavily and almost trips as she walks away-" and i'm all like "jesus lady, settle down." She walked me to this wide hallway with a bunch of open rooms lined up on each side. They each had an easy chair and some medical stuff. Sandy gave me a bag for the clothes I was wearing, surgical slippers, a gown, and one of those surgery hats (sorta looks like a hair net) and told me to go to the bathroom, "tinkle" and get in my surgery wear. Scary part about all of this...the gown is very thin, and you're bare ass naked underneath. After trying desperatly hard to get my gown on, I gave up and pressed the help button...praying that Sandy wouldn't come in. Not to my surprise she busts through the door and's like "HI JORDAN MY NAMES SANDY WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH?!?!" This is when I started thinking "Sandy" was a robot of some kind or an Alzheimer's patient. I never found out. Oh well.

 

Anyway, after the whole problem in the bathroom, I walked nervously back to my chair trying to make sure my gown was fully covering me. My mom started laughing right when she saw me, and the I started laughing, and then Sandy started laughing, and then I started laughing even more becuase of how rediculously stupid Sandy looked while she was laughing. Whew...what fun that was. Sandy finally stopped bothering me and the next nurse came in. She asked me a whole bunch of questions, and I mean a whoooole bunch. Finally, the Anesthesiologist came in and asked me even more questions. After all those questions were answered, he pulled out the dredded IV. For those of you who don't know what an IV is, it's the tube that is put into a vein on your wrist to insert any medicines needed and the one and only Anesthesia. The IV didn't hurt at all. Not even a little bit. So I was mega thankfull for that.

 

The Anesthesiologist left and Sandy came back to walk me to the operating room. We walked very slowly becuase the IV was in my arm and we had to be sure the tube wouldn't hit or get caught on anything. We entered the operating hall and it was very cold. This was such a strange and scary moment. After a long walk down the hall we turned left into the operating room. It was big, bright, and tons of people were in there. They slowly helped me onto the operating table, and everyone was asking if I was alright and what not. It was quite overwelming. After getting strapped down, they removed my gown (to where I was completely naked) but thankfully they kept a big blanket over my...ahem...area. The head surgeon came over and started rubbing my forehead and telling me everything was going to be fine...like he was my mom or something. It was nice, and it kind of got me choked up that so many people were caring for me, but at the same time creeped me out. Haha. After laying there for a moment or two, the surgeon put an oxygen mask over my face and was like "so whats something you like to do for fun?" I started to say "going to amusement parks" but immediately went out. What a weird feeling...

 

So, after an hour of surgery, and a few minutes in recovery, I was woken up. My mom was there along with one of the nurses. She explained to me that I had just had surgery and to keep calm. I was shaking really bad for some reason. They put a whole bunch of blankets over me, and I was doing alot better a few minutes later. Sandy came stomping into the recovery room and started talking to me about irrelavant shit, and I just really didn't care. After her rambling, she got me a sprite and I chugged that sucker so damn fast. Wow, I was thirsty.

 

Once I was sitting up, the Anesthesiologist came in and removed my IV. Holy shit...this hurt so bad. I don't really know why though. Maybe he didn't use numbing medicine like he did the first time. Hmmmmm.

 

My mom pulled the car out front, Sandy dressed me (she definitely got a good look at me) Oh well i'll hopefully never see her again, and put me on a wheel chair. I was rolled out to the car and lifted by her and a few others into the front seat. My mom was crying...she gets really sensetive sometimes. Once I got situated, we started our drive home.

 

The drive home would end up being the worst part of the day. About half way home, I was hit with major nausea. I threw up everywhere. That sucked major balls. Oh well. I'm fine now.

[maliboomer]

May I ask what the surgery was? *nosy*

[Jordan Shankman]

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that.

 

I've had some extra tissue on my left side (around my left breast) that would never go away. It wasn't causing me any harm, it would just get larger over time. So we had it removed. Not really a big deal

[Jonathan]

Good to hear it went okay. I had surgery myself Wednesday; had to get a bone graft in my mouth to prepare for a tooth implant I will be getting in the future. Lots of milk shakes, pasta, and pudding for me for a while!

[Token Yankee Guy]

Good to hear the surgery went well, but your report is hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing at some points where Sandy was involved.

[QuakerOaties]

I'm glad the surgery went well. This makes me feel better for getting my wisdom teeth removed (I'm going under general anesthesia most likely). Oh and, I really enjoyed the bits about Sandy

 

Mark "Needles, Nurses, and Knives oh my!" Luskus

[Jordan Shankman]

Glad to hear you guys enjoyed Sandy.

 

Oh and Mark, the whole wisdom teeth thing is a piece of cake. Honestly. Don't worry about it.

[CoasterCrazy]

Glad to hear that the surgery went well!

 

The Sandy part of the story was funny.

[Coasters 4 ever]

The sandy parts were funny.

 

The part about throwing up in the car reminded me of when I had a concussion,(no it wasn't from a Vekoma or Arrow) except I did it all over the floor in the hospital.

[spike]

A couple of years ago I crushed my right elbow and had some wild rebuilding surgery, Was kind of scary being put out, but really easy after it was all done. They gave me a shot of graval so I would'nt feel sick , worked great, next time ask for one and you wont throw up. Good to hear your doing well.

[Trev32]

Has anybody mentioned that the sandy parts were hilarious??

 

Glad you made it through ok!

 

 

Trev32

[X]

:

 

The part about throwing up in the car reminded me of when I had a concussion,(no it wasn't from a Vekoma or Arrow) except I did it all over the floor in the hospital.

Ya, you got your concussion from a Togo.

Glad to hear your surgery was Ok. The Sandy parts were hilarious.