arrowfanman

^ I believe he won it at the last TPR party. -Jahan

...In that case, allow me to introduce myself... -Jahan

Thanks for the trip report! I envy your having those credits! I still need them...grrrr! -Jahan

I sooo have to try the ArrowStash for myself! -Jahan "Just playin...not that much of a fanman!" Makanvand

Where do I sign up for this thing? A show where I can weed through attractive women competing for me, via testing how they handle amusement parks (and furthermore Balder)...that would be like, a dream come true for me! -Jahan

Robb loves DaBalls...yup!

I love you Robb! …anyway, you’ll get your Busch Gardens trip report after the Cypress Gardens trip report… The following trip report is dedicated to all of the Cypress Gardens fanboys… Park 8 and a half: Cypress Gardens Alright….lets jump right into this, so we can get it over with… This particular morning we were luckily afforded the ability to sleep in an extra hour or two, before we had to be out, so I had a chance to actually heal a bit! I decided to drive with Joe on this journey, as it seemed like a long drive and the van was crammed…good thing too, or else I would have to of sat between 10 uncontrollable adults poking fun at my grammar in a particular “note”! So a big uber thanks to Joe, for that one! We got at Cypress Gardens on time, but made a wrong turn from the rest of the group and ended up having to pay for parking, only to then have to immediately leave the parking lot and park with the rest of the gang, for free. Laaame. Anyway, once we got out of the car, we found that the rest of the group had already met up with the nice Cypress Gardens lady and we were ready to start our day! Getting the unique history of Cypress Gardens from a park Rep…I know a few fanboys who would drool over the opportunity. We walked right into the park, via the backstage…and I would have thought that the park was closed had our 9-dollar parking ticket not said that it was open! There was absolutely no one on the midways! See!...between the Halloween themeing and the lack of guests, it really felt like a ghost town. …and then drive into that tree over there! First ride of the day: Okeechobee Rampage! Okeechobee sounds like some sort of IKEA trash-can name! Unnecessary picture of the train entering the station! Ryan: “I don’t know what the fuss is about! Cypress Gardens doesn’t seem that bad!” Carlos: “I don’t know what the fuss is about! Ryan King doesn’t seem that bad!” We shout our Okeechobee battle cries to the air, effectively confusing Robb! I believe it was Gandhi who said: “O’ God!” The Storm Surge Spinning Rapids Ride is rather deceiving in that the “Spinning” part is much too small in the title. I rarely get dizzy on rides, but this thing just kept going and going and going….between the relentless spinning and the Doppler-effect of Guy’s screaming going back and forth in my head, I was getting nauseas! I’m sure Erik Johnson has a video poking around to prove it, too. After Storm Surge SPINNING Rapids Ride, it was time for Triple Hurricane… TPR can turn even the smallest rides into juicy thrills… …they just have to bring their own juices. Is that little girl stealing a particular someone’s signature move?! You know, as much as it pains me to say it, I loved Triple Hurricane! As a matter of fact, I would have to place it in my Top 5 Woodies, no lie!!! …if it makes you feel any better, I only have 9 Wooden-credits. NOW you see why I didn’t vote in Mitch’s poll. Next up it was time for a whirl on the Fiesta Express!... This is the most “sad and pathetic” credit I have ever gotten…and I technically have my Goliath Jr. credit! OMG…each and every one of their faces is priceless! They all seem to radiate excitement! Touch hands, touch hands, touch hands! Admittedly, Fiesta Express was more fun than the super-themed Galaxy Spin! After Galaxy Spin, there was one more credit to be gotten…an inverted Vekoma roller skater, with an identical layout to the Okeechobee Rampage! Besides my Dejavu credit, it was the first inverted Vekoma I had ever been on! And boy did it bash an impression…and this is just a family ride! Next year we totally have to come back for Phobia, Cypress’s Halloween event! My first Disk-O, aswell! These things are pretty fun! …Hi Mike! I pose with a long-time friend of mine. And with that, we were off! Cypress Gardens was actually very different from how I had imagined. It had really been hyped up as something horrible, to me, but I found it to be quite opposite of that. It was clean and cute. It was really a nice little family park, with small yet enjoyable rides, shade, entertainment offerings, so on and so forth. Even for all of these rides being simply off-the-shelf attractions, “plopped” along a midway, they were nicely enclosed and landscaped. One of its worst assets however, is its location. Florida. As far as I’m concerned, the premier theme park/resort destination in all of the United States. With Disney, Universal, Sea World, and Busch all down the road from this quiet little park, it is no wonder to me why it isn’t performing. I mean, it was a Saturday and I’m pretty sure we were the only guests in the park! And really, that is all that I can say about Cypress Gardens. Did I forget to mention anything? I just cant seem to find the need to argue any more about it! Anyway, thanks for reading this smaller section of the update! I appreciate it! As always, questions, comments, concerns, or praise are welcome, as always. -Jahan

Because someone has to devise a plan to save their marriage! My rant: That Ryan has a habit of leaving these sorts of paper trails! It just doesn't make for good press! -Jahan

My guess is it will include a moon with many faces. Hmmm...I dont know what to think of this. One side of me says that this is Six Flags--the show will ultimately run like a Six Flags show, no matter how great the performance actually is. The other side of me says this is Cirque, and that they will damn well make sure that anything with their name on it is going to maintain a certain standard. ...then again, thats what I thought about the Papa John's deal. ...yea, this isn't a good idea.

Elissa.

Eeek Dallas...excellent trip report, not-so-excellent missing out on your credits. You really need to get your Xcelerator ride, now. It's like therapy for me. -Jahan

^ Well if his expirence was anything like mine, the 3 hour line was a good reason to skip it! Great PTR Brent! Funny that I ended up going to Haunt on the same day that you did, and you took practically identical pictures as me (I havn't made my ptr yet)! Thanks for the reviews! Hope to see more PTRs... -Jahan

^ Dave wins! -Jahan

Yea, TPR has the reverse effects on me. Its only brought me down to reality and it makes me want to kill myself. -Jahan

^ Fo' Sho'! -Jahan

Alright, its time for some more PTR fun! This one’s relatively short, but super-sweet! Enjoy! …after Epcot we piled into the short bus and headed over to the Polynesian Resort for some Ohanas action! Between these five, this is bound to be an interesting character dinner! Ohana’s was definitely a great environment! With our super-stretch table, a very nice yet kickass chef, and the some Hawaiian stereotype entertainer dude, we were totally surrounded in family fun. The family—I was all the way across from Joe and his hairless ass... …and I was next to Erik and his hairy ass! Congratulations terrorists! Ryan King built his Montezooma’s Revenge straw-of-doom! Anyway, like an hour and a half later, or however long dinner took, we left, 33 bucks poorer and 33 pounds heavier. Ohanas was a great experience and a great atmosphere…but I can’t say that I really found the food to be all that exceptional. Not 33 bucks exceptional, fo’ sho’. I really enjoyed and found about two or three of the selections to be very flavorful, but the rest of it was actually sort of tasteless. And to top it off, our service was disappointing. It took Jon Lacoco 15 minutes of “hang-tening” before he could get a refill on his drink! Some attribute it the poor service to the size of our table, but I say for 33 bucks, it shouldn’t matter! Anyway, as I was saying…after dinner we rolled out of Ohanas and got in line for the Monorail. I was really excited to ride the real, non-theme park attraction monorail! The monorail crews have some pretty efficient dispatches too, so props to them. Omg! This monorail actually goes somewhere! Finally we were dropped off at the gates of the Magic Kingdom, and it was time to face destiny!… Park VIII: The Magic Kingdom Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party! Now you have no idea how excited I was to finally get to the Magic Kingdom. But I guess before I go any further, it would be beneficial to provide a slight disclaimer…I am human. My brain therefore takes in new experiences and stores them right next to older experiences. So it is nearly impossible for me to look at one experience, independently of another, related experience. What I’m trying to say, is I cant help but to view the Magic Kingdom through the eyes of someone who frequently visits MY Disneyland, in California. I really can’t help it. But don’t leave!... I promise to try my best to not be annoying about it. Perhaps I’ll adopt a “if you cant say something nice, don’t say anything at all” policy. And if anybody found my commentary this night to be annoying, I apologize for my behavior! …at least I’m not Al Lutz! I must also, er…disclaim, that there are no pictures for a good while, due to the fact that its night and the few pictures I did take didn’t come out! Don’t worry, I went back on Sunday to get my picture fix…but for the first few rides of the night, you’ll just have to go on without photos. If you can’t do that, feel free to skip ahead to the available pictures…jerk. Anyway, I entered the park and immediately received a bag for “Trick or treating”…for those who aren’t familiar with it, the staple of the Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party is the fact that you can go trick or treating and get free candy, regardless of age, regardless of if you even have a costume! I loved it! I walked onto Main Street and immediately realized that I had no clue where the rest of the group had gone! I was all awone! *sniffle* But I decided to press onwards anyways, knowing that man had invented the cell phone for a reason…and sure enough, half way down Main Street I get a call from Robb saying they’re just entering Adventureland. So with the reassurance, I had decided to take my time. It’s very interesting the set up they have going on Main Street for these events…there is literally a rope splitting the street in half, with incoming special event folks on the right and outgoing normal operating hours folks on the left. Finally, I had reached the hub and I came face to face with it…the castle. I wanted to hate it. I really did. Ok, maybe not hate it. But I didn’t want it to be as awesome of a castle as it was! It was a really nice castle! My concern was that the “realistic” structure, which I find to be more “cold” than say the Paris or California castles, would be uninviting and a blatant contrast to the fact that it remains the entrance of Fantasyland. But that wasn’t the case. The scale and coloring of the castle simply emulates a “grand” feeling. Like your now apart of something way larger than you had anticipated. I now can admit, that I found Florida’s castle to be better than California’s. I then trekked over to Adventureland, which was much farther from the hub than I am used too, and went to meet up with the gang. I finally found them trick or treating (figures), and pretty soon we were ready to do more than simply raiding candy. First up was Pirates of the Caribbean. The queue was very cool. I liked unloading at the bottom and speed ramping my way to the top. That’s about it. Other than that it felt like the dated, abbreviated version of the ride we have in California. And when you throw in the fact that the CA ride received, on top of the movie installments, a brand new lighting package and a revamped digital surround-sound system, this Florida version just felt like I was watching the scaled down “edited for television” version of a movie that I just saw in full quality on the big screen. But perhaps I’ve said too much. After Pirates we hit up Splash Mountain. For your information, a Splash Mountain boat traditionally holds 8 passengers. We, being Theme Park Review, thought it would be best to load a whole 12 people into a boat, as they had done in the previous year! I thought I was lucky to get a front row seat…I thought wrong. Before I forget, I’ll have to say it. Yes, I really enjoyed Splash Mountain. The story was told real well and wasn’t as confusing, for a change. The ride was immensely detailed and the fact that the animatronics weren’t just “America Sings” leftovers made for a more true rendition. And I would expect these 8 passenger logs to be better than the 6-7 passenger, in-line seating logs in California…but I wouldn’t really know, especially since by this point, I literally could not feel the seat, as my butt was honest-to-God-numb from squeezing 3 people into a row! Another thing…the added weight in the log caused us to really dip into the water and well…remember how sitting in the front was a bad idea?... I really didn’t escape with one dry spot! …We literally dipped right into a wave! A wave that I just ate into! Lets just put it this way…I hadn’t hung my clothes up to dry when we got back to the house that night, and when I unpacked my clothes after getting back home in California, they clothes were still wet! After Splash Mountain, it was time for some more trick or treating, and a quick ride on Big Thunder Mountain, which I personally enjoyed and preferred the Florida version to the California version. Either way, they are real solid rides! After all…I’m pretty sure that their footers are anchored to the mountain properly! After Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, we ran across the park to grab our Barnstormer credit. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure that this was the longest wait of the night! But I got to see Darth Vader ride Barnstormer, and that made it all worth it! After Barnstormer, it was time for some more unavoidable candy on the Alice in Wonderland themed candy trail! Oh I get it…I cant go to Disneyland because I will cramp Robb’s style with the ladies…but when I go to the Magic Kingdom, Robb cramps my style with the ladies! After some candy, it was time to go watch the fireworks spectacular HalloWishes! I personally suck at fireworks pictures, but I tried really hard, so your going to like them! I see a firework! The fireworks were a really nice show and we had a very nice viewing area for them. Definitely not bad for simply a special-event fireworks show, shown one month out of the entire year! Finally it was time for the biggest attraction in the park: Space Mountain I got a queue length determination lanyard! My dream came true! I really wanted to like Space Mountain. And I did. The ride was a fun ride. That’s all I can give it. Solely as a roller coaster ride, I wasn’t that impressed. I did everything I was told to do…sat in the back, gave myself some lapbar room and everything…but that “OMG…Florida Space Mountain airtime!” was just so unsatisfying. The coasters were fun and I wont say that they were entirely “rough” or “bumpy”, but it definitely wasn’t as Joe’s butt smooth as Disneyland’s Space Mountain, that’s fo’ sho’! (Two Joe’s butt jokes in one PTR…a bit much? ). And then as a themed ride, I mean…I wont even mention California’s Space Mountain. I think I prefer the makeshift themeing in the Space Mountain that I rode in Thailand this summer, to Florida’s Space Mountain! And Thailand’s Space Mountain was smoother too! The experience just felt so much less thematic than I’m used too. It just felt like an indoor coaster with spots on the walls. I prefer the Matterhorn Bobsleds to it! I’m just so frustrated with it…I want to like it so badly, because so many people I know hold it in high regards or whatnot…but I cant. Anyway…my frivolous rant is over. After Space Mountain, Reed was kind enough to rush us over to where the gang had staked their spot for the parade. It’s the freakin Headless Horseman! “Boo to you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, Happy Halloween!” …I still hear that damn song in my nightmares! The Mickey’s Boo to You Parade was a cute little parade, no doubt. I enjoyed it. I mean, c’mon…they gave out more candy! Haunted Mansion ballroom dancers! Except the women aren’t leading the men! I swear I wasn’t trying to capture the gravediggers in this pose, I swear! Grrr…Stupid Goofy’s Candy Company had to discontinue the bags of green goofy balls! After the parade, it was time to hit up the last real ride that we missed out on…the Haunted Mansion. The added scenes (in comparison to DL’s HM) are a much welcomed addition! For example, that “bust stares at you as you pass by” effect is much more effective in the library here! And the loading area was better, I guess, as I’ve never understood the “limbo loading” area at the other one. The one major drawback however, is it is obvious that this Haunted Mansion isn’t able to benefit from yearly refurbishments as a result of the Haunted Mansion Holiday layover. The audio was static-y, the sets were poorly staged, and some of the animatronics felt like they could use some major TLC! Just how I feel. After the Haunted Mansion, we all really just continued walking around the park, raiding out candy where we could. I believe that we rode Snow White’s Scary Adventure, and then just trick or treated our hearts out. But we couldn’t leave without doing one attraction that I had longed to do…Tomorrowland Transit Authority! Hell yea, I’m totally on the Peoplemover! I cant say that I ever remembered Disneyland’s Peoplemover, so I was excited to ride this one. And, truth be told—I simply rode the ride out of novelty…I thought it would be cute. But out of all honesty, it is a really great ride! I totally enjoyed it! I dream of the day that Disneyland gets its back, if ever. It’s the freaking Epcot model! After TTA, we hurried into line for Buzz Lightyear. I’ll be honest, I just don’t really care for the ride in either Disneyland or the Magic Kingdom, so it was all “ok, whatever”. Heh. Anyway, after Buzz, the park had closed. We slowly shimmied our way down Main Street and out to the Monorails. It was yet another late drive home, and another big day was ahead of us! Thanks for reading again guys! I really appreciate it! I know this one was a crap load of words to read, but if you made it this far, I congratulate and thank you dearly! I really only have one more day of Florida trip report left (Saturday), as Sunday I really just walked around WDW snapping pictures, not really doing any attractions. So you can celebrate—I am slowly but surely finishing this trip report! After Florida, SoCal should be a breeze to pound out, and I’m done! Thanks again! Any questions, comments, concerns, or praise are welcome, as always! -Jahan

Changes Shapiro made did improve SFMM...temporarily. For the first half of the year, each week I saw the park improve, little by little, ounce by ounce. Slowly but surely, more character emerged, the park began to clean up, flowers were planted, stuff was painted, so on and so forth. But what happened at the end of July, beginning of August, is Shapiro slashed the budget for all the parks. It was at that very moment that I had realised all that he had done for the parks...because within one week, and one week only, all of those improvements were taken away at once. See, the positive change had come so slowly, that I hadn't realised how dramatic it was. But when I saw (from the guest and employee standpoint) SFMM fall back into its old ways...literally tear itself apart...and so quickly. ...it was then that I had realised all that he had done. And all that he had just ruined. So did Shapiro improve Six Flags? From my expirences at SFMM, I would say yes. ....did it last? No. Not at all. -Jahan

"One by one the penguins steal my sanity!" -Jahan

WTF...Yeti Ball is in my extended network? I love you Yeti Ball! -Jahan

Knott's Halloween Haunt was a letdown this year. And while I wont be so bold as to say that IOA was a let down, like as was posted earlier, I will say that I thought that there would be "more to it"...but considering its age, I spose its cool. -Jahan

Lets just say it involves a 2-liter soda bottle, paper clips, a lamp shade, and a whole lotta Vaseline! -Jahan

Something Random

Currently on the agender... -Vegas -Northern California -San Diego -TPR Midwest *twiches* -Florida? ..as for what I'll actually do. Well, I can only hope that one or two of those comes together. -Jahan

^ Yea! That voice totally caught me off guard. Of course, to add more to the fire, I think we were stopped in that show scene too. ...the ride was like scrambled eggs at time. But I still thought it was cool. Thanks for the comments. -Jahan

This sucks pretty badly. I remember that gator-entrance more than any of the mulit-thousand dollar WDW-expirences from my 1994 Florida trip. Best of luck in their recovery efforts. -Jahan