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I missed the "Viagra" gag at Chessington. The Coney Beach Ghost Train was, indeed, unnerving, but at least they provided plenty of fire-exit signs (perhaps to cover holes in the walls).

When it comes to the TPR UK Trip, I can only echo what everybody else has been saying--freakin' fantastic! What a time! Mucho thanks to Robb and Elissa for putting this all together and putting up with all of us. One thing I especially appreciated was the excellent mix of coasters and dark rides. I am a serious dark-ride fan. From the smelly, cheesy carny rides with their bang doors and skeletons on springs to the high-tech animatronics and 3D digital images of Disney and Universal, I love 'em all nearly as much as the coasters. So, instead of a general trip report, I thought I'd focus on Blackpool's cool collection of old-school dark rides (with pics aplenty). Please remain seated and pull down your safety bar. We're off to our first stop . . . Magic Mountain Well, this is more like Blackpool's version of It's a Small World than of a steel-entwined mountain in Valencia. It even has an incessant, grating theme song: "Welcome to our world!/Welcome to our world!/Welcome to our World of Toys!" Fortunately, the ride vehicle, a train of four cars, makes enough noise to effectively drown the song out. This seems appropriate, as this ride, unbeknownst to many who ride it, is a hard-hitting expose of the darker aspects of the "World of Toys." Yes, this is a ride that pulls no punches, as the following pictures will show! Be warned--this is not for the faint of heart! Stay tuned for more dark-ride goofiness. Other Toys try to drown their frustrations in cheap rotgut. Yes, it's not all fun and games in the World of Toys. Not that the upper Toy classes care: "Prepare the merwench for the pleasure of Sultan Ali Ben Gropeangrab, ruler of the World of Toys!" Such as this unfortunate woman. She doesn't even attempt to hide her shame from us. (Yes, we have a side-boob shot on this ride.) We delve deeper into Toy decadence. Here we see a typical opium den, where Toys of all social classes slowly destroy their psyches by smoking and snorting glitter and tinsel. Many take desperate measues to support their habits. Many lower-caste Toys are forced to toil for long hours at low pay in the fluff-and-velcro mines of the World of Toys. Unionization is but a distant dream to these tortured souls. Behold the Love that Dare Not Speak Its Name: Interspecies Toy Lust! Here we see a strange pagan rite from the early Mezowhatzit Era of Toy Evolution--the sacrifice to Eyore, the Great Donkey God. The fluff of many a stuffed animal was spilled in such a manner. "B-o-o-o-ard!" Off we go, into the "Heart of Darkness." "Now arriving, the Sad-and-Pathetic Express for Magic Mountain's World of Toys! Last call!" Hmm--looks like other crazed coaster dorks have commandeered this train. We'll have to wait. Welcome to Not Six Flags Magic Mountain! The cheerful entrance belies the darkness within!

Hi, Eric, I recognized that guide from 2004 when my brother and I visited the Tower of London. Nice gig if you're retired from the British military, it seems. My brain is slowly rebooting itself after this awesome trip--lemme know if you find yourself in Virginia (I'll do the same for Florida). I'm planning to post a TR focusing on dark rides, myself (especially Blackpool's) this weekend (after my brain fog clears). Chuck Here's a shot for your Southport collection. (I was able to recover most of my photos off my damaged memory card.)

^I didn't score a hammer, but I still have my wee bottle of Balder booze, along with plenty of photos and memories. A-w-w-w-w . . . Crushing, work-related reality come Monday. A-g-g-g-h-h-h-h!

Oh, so Simon and Jo finally showed up? --Robb And to think I was so horrified at the thought of being "heckled" to death.

Hmm--one side is chocolate.

^Just put your faith in Jeebus, Nicole.

Funny that folks should keep mentioning Outback along with Carrabbas in this thread--I think they're owned by the same company (along with Cheeseburger in Paradise and god knows how many other chains). Carrabbas's Steak Marsala rules, by the way. And the Pasta Weensie is mighty good, too.

And so did Jeebus turn the waters into Coke, and yea, into Diet Coke. And thus did his disciples emerge soaked in the soft drink of the Lamb . . .

It's like Mom always told you: "Keep riding Wacky Worms, and one day you'll turn into one!"

The "big boy seats" on Alpengeist are for guests having "chest measurements approaching 52 inches," and they're in rows 4 and 5, I believe (under the diamond sign in the loading area). Apollo's Chariot has a test seat out front (I think this is the one that might give you some trouble). DarKastle uses a simple lap bar, BTW. Have fun!

^I was surprised to see it myself--a very odd notion, beer-and-chocolate-flavored ice cream. Then again, it makes more sense that the garlic ice cream they sell in Gilroy, Calif., during their annual garlic festival. And the Black and Tan ice cream wasn't bad--not my favorite flavor, but not bad.

Well, you won't find any hot nipple action here, but this is something to do with milk and beer. I just picked up a new flavor (according to the container, at least) of Ben & Jerry's at the supermarket tonight--"Black & Tan." It's a "cream stout" swirled with chocolate ice cream! Call it a sort of "beershake." The verdict: Well, the chocolate seems to dominate, but there's definitely a hint of stout. Pretty good. Burp! Nice aftertaste. What guy wouldn't be intrigued with this?

"My god! I never realized I tasted so damn good!"

^At the foot of Apollo's first drop is a small pond, which now has netting and a sprinkler to discourage geese and ducks from staying there. They should call it "Lake Fabio."

Aw-w-w-w . . . He looks just like you, too, Jeff.

Hmm--that "Flintstones" vehicle looks as though Fred decided to "pimp" his ride. Those Spanish parks do look bizarre--in a good way, of course. Looking forward to seeing if Flamingoland's Kumali is truly as "smooth as a baby's bottom."

Personally, if that's the case, I'm glad that it doesn't have the "stair effect" for sake of riders' backs. Or maybe Mini-Coopers just have excellent suspension. It does seem to fishtail in the tunnel, though.

Nice job, Jeff, as usual. You've covered the day pretty well; I'll sort through my pics and post any here that might add a bit more (I can think of two, offhand). Yep, you called it--good day to be at PKD. BGE, by contrast today, looked nuts. I drove by there at around 12:30 on my way to Newport News, and they were already using the Scotland (overflow) parking lot, and there was a huge line of cars on the ramp from I-64 (and there was still a huge line when I came back through around 2:30). EDIT: Yep--Jeff was his usual thorough self. Here are a few pics I took that day. IJ was a lot of fun--especially the the last wild bit through the tunnel. I did squeeze in one "sad-and-pathetic" ride on Avalanche (and Scooby Doo's Haunted Mansion) that day. Here's an "eiffel" of the Grizzly--still a great, wild ride in the woods. Your can get some nice shots of Anaconda while waiting for IJ. And here's Canobie Fan, and his mom (aka Ann), on their most favorite ride ever! A closer look at IJ's splashy finish. And now, the backside of chopper, as it awaits its next victims. . . . 2) He's not of "unusual body proportions." Yes, Jeff is a happy man today for two reasons: 1) Italian Job was better than expected, and . . .

^Better a bird in the bag than one in the nose--just ask Fabio!

Sounds like you met John over at Alpengeist. As for the Wolf, they're actually checking to see if anything has come loose (I guess like a bolt or a nut). Glad you had a good time. DarKastle is fun, even if it isn't up to the level fo Spider-Man.

The entrance to Tarantula looks like a sculpture made from imitation crab meat. But the ride does look like fun.

Robb, if you find yourself in Williamsburg next year, you'll have to check out the lentil soup at Guiseppe's Italian Cafe at the Ewell Station shopping center on Olde Towne Road and Rt. 60 (about five minutes from my house)--it's great.

The town of Rainbow Ridge is still there--it was just pushed off to the side and given a new name. I think some of the old animal AAs ended up on Thunder Mountain, too.

Looks like a great park--wouldn't mind seeing a "Riptide" at Water Country USA. That corkscrew slide does look painful, though.