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It must be pretty tough opening a theme park that's so far from any really big city during a recession when gas is hitting four bucks a gallon. Thanks for the TR, Reed and Stacey--I hope the park makes it.

^^You're lucky. Some people have to have a wazooectomy for dino infestations.

We don't have a "beef jerky outlet" in the 'Burg. Prime Outlets is missing a bet here. Great stuff, Dave and Falafel--I would've expected nothing less! If you ever find yourself at Lake Tahoe, check out Magic Carpet Mini-Golf at South Shore or Carnelian Bay. Dinos out the wazoo. Kings Beach Mini-Golf doesn't have dinos, but many of the holes are challenging.

^Ah, but how far is it from South of the Border?

Aw-w-w-w-w . . . I miss My Melody and "Bwa-a-a-a-a-a!"

^I think it opens at 6:30 pm. Most of the rides at Trimper's didn't open until 6:00 pm (this was on a Tuesday).

There's a haunted-house ride at Funland at Rehoboth Beach, Delaware (about an hour north of Ocean City), but I didn't have time to stop and check it out. Thanks for the comments, folks.

^What he said. Three times.

I visited SFA three times last season (spring and summer), and was pleasantly surprised by the place--good mix of coasters (especially Wild One) and decent operations (with the exception of Batwing). they even bent over backwards to get the Skull Mountain flume ride running when I was there (it was fun). But opening day this season did not bode well--bad ops, breakdowns, security issues, staff that spent more time goofing off than doing their jobs. I hope things improve. SFA does have a lot of space and potential.

Excellent, Jimmy! Have your people call my people, and we'll do lunch. Wait, I don't have "people."

^And hobos can go to the Big Rock Candy Mountain!

Hmm--sounds like MST3K to me, but I can't place which episode. The blacklight mini-golf looks cool. I can never convince my friends who live in the Smokies to do any of this stuff (mini-golf, Dollywood, etc.). But they always want to go, sigh, hiking . . .

One last look at Ocean City Boardwalk. Hmm--good thing I didn't have to make a call. Well, off to Delaware. Thanks for reading. "No, I didn't. Quit lyin' to people!" Help! Angus McNasty has followed me to Ocean City! You're welcome, matey. What's with the tank of water in the middle of this thing? (Maybe to catch falling riders? For Fearless Freep's High-Diving Act?) The op had to go scrounge up a few more riders while I waited. Hmm--looks like Megablitz with a loop, alright. "I will get you. Yes, indeed, I will. Boo and stuff." "I say to you, 'boo,' sir!" . . . if your greatest fear is riding around in a tin-sided warehouse on a rickety golf cart. But first, let's check out Morbid Manor, a truly frightening attraction . . . The skeleton helmsman's course was right and true! There is a Pinfari out there.

More random nonsense from the Maryland seashore. "Ahoy! Credit off the starboard bow! Set a course fer Jolly Roger at the Pier! Thar be a wee bit more to come!" "People wants to see me black-lit glory!" "Arghh! Belay that flash, dog!" "It'll keep ye safe from this scurvy dog, too." "Good thing ye be safe in our shark cage, sez I." "We be one fer tillted corridors, too!" "Aye, set yer rudder fer Pirates Cove, mate!" Guys, I think I would've sprung for the Bowflex. Just sayin'. Oh no! Which way to go? "So, infidel dog! You disapprove of our creative use of your degenerate language that is not even fit for the fleas that infest a camel's armpit! Now you must survive our Funhouse of Fate, if God wills it!" A "Thousand and One Night"? Who proofread this freakin' funhouse? Boy, it gets better and better. . . . "Forty Thiefs"? That's "theives," people! Look, an Arabian Nights' type funhouse. Let's see, "A-l-i B-a-b-a and . .

OK, here was the coolest stuff at Trimper Rides, for my money. I mean, did he not notice the big diesel engine rumbling through the living room before he bought the place? More to come. OK, explain one thing to me--why the hell does a headless vampire dude want a train tunnel in his house? "Diarrhea is a storm that rages inside you!" "Ya wanna know why I took this gig? (By the way, we prefer 'pain enhancement' to 'torture.') Ya meet such interesting people." Or does that just piss it off? I get confused sometimes. A little gum on the tail always discourages a bloodsucking bat. Oops! A vampire bat! But I know what to do! "Hey! Can't a broad get any privacy around here!" Hmm--sure are into tilting corridors here. Aggh! What's that? . . . yeah, the whole world's a'spinnin'! Uh oh! I knew I shouldn't have eaten that left-handed corn dog! Everything's getting a little wacky . . . You get your very own, luxurious mini-coffin when you ride. And it even has a ghetto "ghost host" of sorts! (He was named, er, Headless Harry or Count Chocula or something--I forget.) Cool! An old-school dark ride!

I was roped into sitting behind a table at a vendor show for my employer at the Sheraton in Dover, Delaware, last Wednesday (June 11). Well, I decided to make the best of it by driving up the Delmarva Peninsula (which includes Virginia's Eastern Shore, a piece of Maryland, and all of Delaware) and doing a wee bit 'o' credit whoring at Ocean City, Maryland, the home of Trimper Rides and Jolly Roger at the Pier (along with an Arrow/Vekoma boomer-ouch, a Pinfari Loop of Doom, and an old Tobaggan body-slammer). New credits are nice to get, even if they are on the crappy side, but I was more intrigued by Trimper's Haunted House ride and Pirate's Cove waltkthrough than anything else. So, I ambled about the Ocean City Boardwalk, taking in smells of the sea, French fries, and deep-fried crab cakes, along with three credits (didn't bother with the kiddie coasters). Join me, won't you? . . . and pile-drived, for good measure. ("Stick a fork in him, he's done!") More to come from Trimper's. But here's where I got body slammed . . . Yeah, this part was pretty much as I remembered. Not too bad, actually. God, I haven't ridden one of these in over 30 years (and that was the Tobaggon at the Stanislaus County Fair, which reeked of old cigarettes, urine, and carny sweat). . . . awful idea! Vekoma had a wonderful, . . . An awful idea. One day, Vekoma had an idea. This ride brings a passage from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" to mind. As you can tell by my grim expression, I rode boomerang (or "Tidal Wave") first. Oh, a boomerang. Joy. And here's Trimper Rides! What wonders await us here? Hey, can't you smell the salt air and French fries already? After driving for miles behind the stinky chicken truck, I finally arrive at Ocean City. Let's have a look around. Proof that Frank Perdue and Colonel Sanders are the spawn of Satan. Two choices: you can join the Eastern Shore Arts Council or buy it. This took me to the Eastern Shore, the Virginia capitol of sausage, bacon, fireworks, and discount cigarettes. To get credits, one must get to them, somehow. As for me, I criuised across the Cheapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel (a road so cool that it costs 12 bucks to drive on it).

It is a bummer that they're rethemeing MoA's log flume--thought that was the best thing there when it was still Camp Snoopy. But the only thing constant is change.

Yeah, Ripley's seems to pretty much own Gatlinburg. They're in Williamsburg too, and I fully expect them to own the entire world by Christmas. Any TR with Dave and Falafel bears watching, especially by bears with chainsaws.

Best picture of Big Mike ever! (Actually, we of the thinning-hair society know where it's at.)

^"Larryland"? Better ask the Butthole Surfers' permission first. (Please note that "Larryland" is in no way affiliated with "Team Larry.")

I would lean toward BGE (but I'm a local)--HP is a great park, too (plus it has the World of Chocolate). The Newport News/Williamsburg airport is only about twenty-minutes from Williamsburg (the park is about fifteen minutes from there), and you can get a cab or limo to town. The only hotel that offer a regular shuttle to the park (as far as I know) is Kingsmill (very pricey), but a cab ride in Williamsburg shouldn't be too expensive. Colonial Williamsburg has it's own bus service that shuttles people all around the Historic Area. Hope this helps. I'd check with the individual motels and hotels in the 'Burg about the shuttle situation.

Interesting--I actually kind of liked TDL's "Enchanted Tiki Room: Catch the Fever" show (sure crapped all over Florida's version).

I've never that much of a Dippin' Dots fan, but I the smores flavor sounds pretty good.

Hmm--it seems to me that Two-Face has been down since last June. Oh, well, Wild One is the best ride at SFA anyway, I think. And I'm happy to see that Batwing is no longer "B T Wing." Joker's Jinx is baciscally the "naked" version of Flight of Fear. I think it's a better ride than FoF, too (smoother, not as braked). Glad you had a good time in the States.

^Interesting stuff, Lance--thanks. BGE still has occasional fits with DarKastle (for example, the "dining table" scene wasn't working last Sunday) and Pompeii, but they usually address them pretty quickly. I've never been to Sea World in San Diego (have been to Orlando's), but a new coaster would prompt me to check the place out--finally. As much as I enjoy JTA in Orlando, the dark-ride portion always seemed kind of goofy.