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Wonka might've laid them off, you know--times are hard.

Well, if he's "obviously" wearing an old rug, what's the issue?

OK, last chance to buy this space. Snooze, ya lose! One last, longing look at Liseberg. Well, that's a wrap for now. Thanks for a great day, Liseberg! We had some twilight ERT on Balder, too. Sigh! I miss it already! OK, how many parks can you name that give out vacuum cleaners or meat slicers as prizes? This is the world's safest bumper car. Kind of boxy, though. Just "After Shave"? Do you mean Old Spice or Aqua Velva? Or just astringent facial applications in general? . . . upp skjutet!" "Oh, man, I gotta . . . Yes, centrifugal force can exact a price. Hmm--this could get very painful. Frozen cow excretions are a very popular snack treat in Sweden. . . . "The Emperor Needs New Genitals." Enchanting, no? . . . "The Wizard Who Urinated in Front of Peacocks," and . . . . . . "Return to Neverland 12: What? Hook Again?" . . . . . . "Priscilla Pecksniffle, the Proper Prostitute," . . . The people below are not animatronic. Just thought I'd point that out. Anyway, this Peter Pan-like ride takes you into many classic children's stories, such as . . . First, we follow the magical trail of pixie dust! (Or are those Skittles? Kind of hard to tell.) Hey, kids! Who wants to sail into a magical world of old department-store Christmas displays?

This space is still available. What are you waiting for? Maybe for some more Liseberg? Er, this is the "spin" not "spew" cycle. One more set of photos to come. Yes, they'll be dry in no time. Looks like a nice spin cycle is in order. And here are the results. We pay our test subjects one dollar a day. They could get more selling their own blood. Commence the experiment. And here. Hmm--high wetness potential here. The most aptly named attraction in the park. "Goodness! Gracious! Great balls 'o' fire!" (Now there's a disturbing image. It would be like the genitalia of Satan!) They actually play these songs while the ride operates. And now, a very well themed flat ride. But it goes up a few points here. There is only a mild potential for wetness here. "Well, it's not a Vekoma. But that's OK." Some people who are hoping to get wet. On a rapids ride. In a wholesome way. Although they probably wouldn't complain otherwise. "Tell me the truth--do these ears make my butt look big?" OK, I'm confused. How can southern California get water from the Colorado River if it flows through Sweden?

Some of you may have noticed that there's no sponsor for this chapter. Yes, this space is available--for a nominal fee, of course. Back to Liseberg. "Yeah--I thought I was a freak! But I'm normal compared to these coaster geeks." Well, off to take a shower. I'll finish posting the rest later. You have no idea. "Look at those people in line! They're scary!" Yes, it's a TPR/green-bunny-ears takeover. After Gasten, everybody went to snag the kiddie credit. "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses . . . or just get me a corn dog." Unfortunately, if I showed you anymore, I'd have to kill you. Sorry. Next up was a backstage tour of Hotell Gasten with one of the attraction's actors. This was a major highlight of the whole trip. Even with the worklights on, Hotell Gasten looks pretty creepy. The dark side of the Schwarz! "I see that your Schwarz is nearly as big as mine." Hmm--so powerful that I'm having problems getting decent pictures of it. Time to experience the Power of the Schwarz! The station looks like a, well, train station. Time for Lisebergan . . . er . . . the "banana" coaster. "Aw, Chuck looks much prettier after Kristin takes a picture of him with her phone." Kanonen is comin' down the track . . . I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! Joy, joy, joy! Happy, happy, happy! As we did in '06, we had ERT on Kanonen, too.

Thanks for the comments and kind words, everyone. Chapter 9: A Case of Swedish Deja Vu--Liseberg Liseberg is one of my favorite parks anywhere, and why not? After all, my favorite wooden roller coaster is still there, rumblin' on, along with my favorite haunted walkthrough. Pile on the park's other attractions, good food, friendly staff, and beautiful setting, and it's no surprise that Robb and Elissa were saying that every TPR trip, no matter where it goes, should have Liseberg as an add-on. I was really looking forward to seeing this park again. This is another one of those urban parks that they do so well in the Scandinavian countries--kind of like Tivoli Gardens with a big hill in the middle of it. As for the four coasters, there isn't a bad one in the bunch: Balder--I was wondering if the park's 70-degree-drop woodie would regain the number-one ranking I gave it back in 2006. It did. There is nothing but airtime from beginning to end. This ride doesn't let up, yet it's amazingly re-rideable. As much as I like El Toro, Colossos, and the Voyage, if I ride them three times in sucession, I usually get a bit of a headache. Not so with Balder. I really could ride this coaster all day. Lisebergbanan--This is supposed to be Anton Schwarzkopf's personal favorite out of all the rides he designed, and I can understand why. It's not an airtime machine, but you can't beat this ride's hillside setting--it's an excellent terrain coaster. But it does have those patented, kneecap-busting Schwarzkopf "broms" (or "brakes"). Great views of the park and city and lots of fun. Kanonen--Another good Intamin launcher with plenty of twists and turns. It does seem to have barely enough momentum to complete its course, though. Rabalder--This is the park's new kiddie coaster. It's an improvement over the old "dragon coaster" that used to be here, and like many kiddie coasters in European parks, it's nicely themed and landscaped. If you're into dizziness and disorientation, there are plenty of flat rides, and the log flume can be a real soaker (the rapids ride not as much). The Hotell Gasten walkthrough is not to be missed--this is a Disney/Universal-level attraction with plenty of creepy atmosphere and creepier scareactors. Here's a look at a great day at Liseberg. My thanks to the staff and management there for treating us so well--and to Robb and Elissa for setting all this up. Is it time to go back to Liseberg yet? More to come. But it never forgets that it's all about the air. Balder also throws in a few laterals just for the hell of it. Yes, red coaster trains need love, too. But let's give the red train its due. No "blues" on this ride, though. Let's hear it for the blue train, folks! 70 DEGREES! Ryan's whole life has been leading up to this! All will be meaningless after Balder! (OK, this is a bit of an exaggeration.) With all the hammering and drinking concluded, it was time for ERT. No, they are the ecstatic moans and howls of an artiste! Those howls and screams you hear are not just those of a man who has crushed his thumb with a hammer. And here's my 2009 childish scrawl and nail for future generations. My childish scrawl and nail from '06 are still here. . . . which seems to have developed a "technical problem." Here we are, behind the scenes at the Big Mike Road Show, . . . Yes, Kristin--we actually want you to write on the coaster. OK, TPR people--start writin' and hammerin'. This ride ain't gonna finish itself. Looks like Hanno's had a few beers already. Let's see . . . Balder hat, green bunny ears, beer . . . yeah, I'm good. . . . we were off to a rather familiar little place--the wee house under Balder. After a few words of welcome, . . . . . .Sven-Bertil Taube. (Sven-Bertil Taube? Yes, my ignorance of Swedish pop culture is showing.) . . . ABBA, and . . . Yes, many international superstars are honored here, such as the late Michael Jackson, . . . Ah, Liseberg! Home of Balder, Hotell Gasten, and their own personal "Walk of Fame."

Definitely the wisest policy. Time will tell, folks.

^800 by 600 pixels would be best. Large photos take a long time to load, if you have a slow Web connection. I made the same mistake in my first TR. So, I would resize and upload new versions. You can do this by editing your post. They are very good pictures, by the way--I'm glad you had a great time at my home park.

Let's see . . . America, Narnia, Middle Earth, Hyperborea . . . what are the other three?

^I had such a lousy ride on Loopen back in '06 that I didn't bother with it this year. Maybe I was sitting in the wrong seat. The Spin Spider line was outrageously long, as was the Super Splash line (one-boat operation).

^Yeah! Let's see him try this on Alpengeist or Tatsu! All kidding aside, what he did was pretty cool.

The makers of Bacon Boy products would like to remind you that bacon is not just for breakfast anymore. Why, you can use it to lube tank tracks, too! And now, back to Tusenfryd, which smells nothing like bacon--but we like it, anyway! Thanks for a fun day, Tusenfryd! Eerie! I feel like I've been here before, too! (That's because I have.) But here's a pic from '06 with some Norwegian kid flipping me off as he rides by. Unfortunately, I really failed at taking pictures of it this year. I really like this ride. All those Terror Balls just going to waste. Hello? Gomez? Morticia? You home? Hmm--no creaking doors or howling wolves or random dummies sitting up in coffins today. This is more my speed. . . . and spew. . . . spin, . . . Time to swing, . . . I was content to watch this one. Spin Spider is one huge frisbee. After a tough hike, it's always nice to enjoy a refreshing beverage. Low bridge, Erik. Hmm--looks like a shortcut to Camp Crystal Lake, or something. "Yay! Bestest ride ever!" Teeny Weeny is surprisingly roomy. Yes, the trains are actually more roomy than on some full-sized coasters in Japan! And, hey, they just look cool. . . .Teeny Weeny! Don't be sad, guys. There's always . . . Rest in Peace, Vikingtoktet! Sigh! No more Viking show. "2:53 pm, July 15, 2010. The arm-wrestling machine becomes self-aware. It commences Judgment Day." Yeah, this is a pretty hilly place. You get quite a workout walking around Tusenfryd, This is a surprising little "swinging ship." It actually alternates between a less-intense and more-intense setting (the latter is surprisingly foreceful). "OK, is this Danish, Swedish, or Norwegian money?"

Chapter 8: A Case of Norwegian Deja Vu--Tusenfryd Have you ever had the feeling that you've been someplace before--particularly if you have been someplace before? OK, so there's nothing "supernatural" about this. I visited Tusenfryd as part of the add-on to TPR's 2006 U.K. Trip. Nothing to call Ghost Hunters about here. I was looking forward to visiting Tusenfryd again. The park's location is beautiful. It looks like it should be part of a ski resort with its beautiful mountains (and rather steep paths). Heck, it was the only park in '06 that had a t-shirt in my size, too. I enjoyed the place in 2006, and I liked it in 2009--with two minor bummers in the form of closed attractions. There used to be a very good multimedia show about the Vikings there that would fit in perfectly at Epcot, and a rather cheesy, but fun, haunted walkthrough; alas, both are now closed (although the old Viking theatre can be rented out for group banquets). But, no matter. Tusenfryd still had two of my favorite coasters from 2006: Speed Monster--I prefer this style of Intamin launched coaster to the one-trick ponies like Kingda Ka and Stealth. This one may not climb to great heights, but it has quite a few more tricks and is, in my opinion, a much more complete ride than the big "high hats." Thunder Coaster--This Vekoma woodie is still a lot of fun (although not as insane as it was on that rainy day when I first rode it back in 2006). A good, solid, twisty ride with a fair amount of airtime. Teeny Weeny--The world's smallest coaster (or so the park claims). Didn't ride it this time, but I did in '06 (doubt that it's changed much). Loopen--And here's the other extreme of Vekoma, a painful "loopscrew." I passed on it this time--got the credit in 2006). Still, I do prefer it to Alton's old Corkscrew. There are plenty of flats for those who like to be shaken, stirred, flipped, and flopped, not to mention a "Super Splash" ride. My thanks to Tusenfryd for a very good day. Off to Tusenfryd! Spot the Vekoma employee in this group. (I kid Erik and Vekoma--they've made a number of rides I like, too, such as Everest, RnR, and Kumali.) More lost lambs being led to the slaughter. "Aghh! The prayers do nothing!" . . . for we know not what we do! Amen." "Oh, Lord, do not forsake us . . . "Before we ride Loopen, I'd like to lead us in a little prayer." Erik says, "OK, now that we have ridden the Intamin, it is time for the Vekoma!" This, I believe, is called "track." (Yeah, I suck at technical jargon.) As does this. OK, this has something to do with making the ride "go" (as the technicians say). Here we have some recovered items. I believe the technical term is "somebody's lost crap." And now a frightfully technical backstage tour. Hey, kids--wanna go faster? . . . but can it do this? (Retort from Stealth: "Yeah, I could--I just don't want to!") Yes, Stealth is bigger, . . . . . . but it can't do this. Yeah, Kinda Krap (er, I mean Kingda Ka) is taller, . . . Able to leap tall park entrances at a single bound! (OK, here we have photographic evidence.) More powerful than a locomotive! (I have no empirical evidence to back up this claim.) Faster than a speeding bullet! (If the bullet is thrown as opposed to "fired.") First stop, Speed Monster. ("Zoom-zoom?" Where's that creepy little kid from the Nissan commercials?) This is the Norwegian version of Parque Espana's "Magic Escalator Ride." This place is so hilly that you have to take this ride to get from the main entrance to the park itself. Kristin doesn't speak Norwegian; fortunately, fun is a universal language. You know, there's something about the sun that brings out the wild side of Hanno. "Hi there! I'm Speed Monster! Welcome to Tusenfryd!" Fjord? But wouldn't you really rather have a Buick? "Anth has the poker face, but I have all the M&Ms." We killed some time with a friendly game of Texas Hold'em with M&Ms for stakes. This is Anth, better known as "Balls" for his bold bluffs. Another day, another ferry ride--this time to Sweden. Tusenfryd is brought to you by Bacon Boy! 'Cause, let's face it--guys like bacon in all its forms! Our pigs die with a big, fat grin on their faces!

Yes. We did. That's enough of that.

^That settles it. The new ride's name will be "Massive Mammoth Monolithic Coaster."

^That's OK. This thread basically stopped with media day, and it is a handy place for people to offer their own opinions of the revamped ride (outside of personal trip reports).

I think this is a good move for Efteling. All this park lacks is a solid coaster, and Pegasus isn't it (it's more of a plodding "family" woodie--not bad, but not great). Combining GCI with Efteling's talent for "themeing things up" sounds like a winning move to me. And if the new ride is even just half as good as Troy, it'll be a helluva lot better than Pegasus.

^A wise attitude, as excess speculation can cause the human brain to implode, which could open a vortex leading to back to the day that all these feverish speculations began. The resulting time loop would keep taking us back to the beginning, meaning that the ride will never be built and the speculations will go on forever. Or I could be totally wrong.

^^Hmm--yes, it might be best to keep all the SFNE Bizarro discussions under one roof.

Eli, I moved your Walter Cronkite remembrances here. I grew up watching Walter Cronkite myself--a true journalist and not just a "talking head" spouting "talking points." I was very sad to hear that he died, and very much remember his coverage of the Vietnam War and the Apollo moon landing.

Here's a thought: Let's wait for the announcement, then start a thread about it. Until tomorrow, I think any speculation should be posted in the Rumor Superthread. Thank you.

I thought it was a pretty good spin on an old theme--and no backseat moderating, please. ^Twizzler, please be a bit more selective when you post. I appreciate your enthusiam for parks and for the site, but at the moment you appear to be posting for the sake of posting.

Quoted as a gentle reminder. No more gravy-vodka-BBQ sauce (or any other kind of substance) splashdown jokes! This joke has been beaten, shot, poisoned, throttled, garotted, kicked, and stabbed to death earlier in this thread. Let's not tie its moldering corpse to the bumper of a car and drag it around again.

^Well, I was just eyeballing it.

^Yeah--looks like they're laying pretty much flat at zero degrees to me.