ginzo

Don't forget the three plates left on the bathroom floor.

^The ride is very difficult to explain. It has one of the most WTF moments of any coaster. Unfortunately, it's out in a very remote part of Sweden and it seems unlikely that many more will be built. You'll never see one in the US because someone would lose an arm.

But NE has terrible traffic. Those short distances can take a surprising amount of time to drive. I guess the OP would also hit pretty bad traffic if he drove south through DC to hit KD/BGW. I agree with the sentiment that Boulderdash and Bizarro are both better coasters than anything at KD or BGW. But, BGW is a much better park than SFNE or Lake Compounce, by far. To me, SFNE and LC are really boring credit runs outside of those two coasters. I'd rather spend the day at BGW. KD isn't as nice as BGW, but they do have the new Intamin opening up, which I guess means one thing: Don't go early in the season! To the OP, have you considered adding more PA parks? Kennywood is adding a new coaster next year and is a great park. Also, you could add in a few more PA parks like Waldameer for Ravine Flyer II, and maybe something like Idlewild and Lakemont/Delgrosso's.

My vote for best coaster ending is Tele2 Insane. What other coaster can you come back into the station upside down?

^Bummer, I would really like to check out this park if they could ever get it going with the coaster and all.

Uppswinget was a really nice surprise. I had been on a few of those S&S swings before, but the the placement of Uppswinget right on the edge of the hill really made it stand out. Liz actually found the ride a bit scary.

Broms! Broms! Broms! Balder is the clear winner for me as well. I love how Liseberg never stapled us despite the crazy ejector air.

Or put it near a good park that many people visit anyway.

Maybe Dubai should hire Danny Rogers to revive their theme park projects.

You got me, Jon. I guess I'll have to wear one of those shame masks. When I run around I tend to forget to stop and take photos with me in them. I'll have to work on that, but hopefully without repeating the fountain scene from National Lampoon's European Vacation.

The main tourist attraction we visited in Rothenburg was naturally the Medieval Crime Museum. Touted as the best museum of its kind, it's a wonderful collection of medieval torture devices and other random things like strange old laws that illustrate just how crappy living in a medieval city was. As an example, I think one of the laws banned drinking coffee. Just another classic Rothenburg street scene. Basically, the whole old town looks like this. Another view inside Käthe Wohlfahrt. Very energy-efficient folks. Inside the famous Käthe Wohlfahrt Christmas shop. Rothenburg's main square. The glockenspiel in the upper right corner does a very elaborate show on the hour. Leaving the Medieval Crime Museum. What the streets look like in Rothenburg. As you can imagine, driving was a hoot here. An iron maiden. It is currently believed that these were not an instrument of death. The spikes found inside iron maidens are believed to be 19th century additions. An original drunk tank. We really need to get one of these for TPR tours. Another double neck violin. The original marriage counseling. Double neck violin, for quarrelsome people. Brands. They're not just for frat boys. The last shame mask. Great mustache. Still another shame mask. Shame mask. This was hung around the neck to shame someone. How to use thumbscrews. The pear of anguish. Insert into orifice, then expand by turning. This is the chair Elissa makes you sit in if you drop out of a trip. The outside of the Medieval Crime Museum. Note how you never see lousy cars in Germany.

After we left the Rhine Valley, we traveled down to Mannheim by train and rented a car. We then drove to Holiday Park and rode Expedition GeForce for most of the day. It was great. Unfortunately, I was lazy and did not take any photos of Holiday Park. It was raining and I didn't want to get my camera wet. Note that Holiday Park ran GeForce in the rain, unlike crappy US parks that shut down for a week after a drop of rain. After we left Holiday Park, we drove to Rothenburg ob der Tauber, which is the most well-preserved medieval town in Germany. The whole town looks like something out of an RPG. Take a look: A famous schneeball. Inside scoop: They're disgusting. View from the ramparts. Typical half-timbered buildings in Rothenburg. Still walking the ramparts. They're quite extensive. Walking the ramparts. Steps to the ramparts. Fun fact: the Japanese adore everything medieval. Therefore, like half the visitors to Rothenburg are Japanese. Very nice, but we stayed in another hotel in the old town. One of the many gates to Rothenburg. A restaurant called "Hell". Another fountain. These are schneeballen (snowballs in German), the pastries that Rothenburg is ostensibly famous for. One of the many fountains in town. I think this is the main square. A view down one of the streets. This was our rental car. I really liked it. Very solid feel. Also, driving in Germany is awesome. The roads are great and the drivers are not tailgating jerks. Just stay out of the passing lane on the Autobahn and you'll be fine.

^Thanks!

Just one of the countless stars you've outlived.

Wow, I normally think that the Old West theme is really boring. But Port Aventura did an excellent job here.

On our last day in the Rhine Valley, we visited the ruins of the Rheinfels Castle in St. Goar. Once the mightiest castle on the Rhine, it was destroyed by the French in 1797. No worries though, the Germans returned the favor, more than once. Even as a ruin, this castle is impressive. All of my photos have fail to indicate just how huge it is. But I'll certainly try. One more attempt to convey the immensity of it. See how small Liz looks in comparison. Not bad for 13th Century construction. Again, huge. Pillory probably added for tourists. Again, the sheer size. Really awakens the kid in you as it's very easy to imagine some epic battles here. Walkway not original. A good hair day. One day posting all these pictures of her like this is going to get me into real trouble. Again, just massive. Trying to convey the sheer size of it. Rheinfels supposedly withstood a siege from 28,000 French troops. Take the tunnel. This place had more tunnels than you could count. River again. Very nice view of the river from the castle. Walking into the ruin. European Vault Icee. Only $3. This way.

A lot of people who go to Dollywood don't go there for the thrill rides at all. In fact, many purists don't even like the number of rides they have there now. I think they've done a superb job of creating broad appeal. Just plopping down a bunch of rides like it was Six Flags or Cedar Fair would ruin the charm of Dollywood. This is not to say that more rides can't be added. But that it has to be done slowly and carefully over time. Basically, how they've handled it so far is the way to go.

After we left Burg Eltz, we quickly made the journey through the woods back to the Moselkern train station. I knew that Klotten, the awesome rural German amusement park that TPR visited in 2007, was just a few stops down the line. But I didn't really have a lot of information to go on. I made a last minute decision to try and go to the park. I tried to access the park's website from my Blackberry and failed. I knew that the park had some sort of chairlift that would take you up to the park from town, but I had no idea where the lift was. So, I did the natural thing and got off at the Klotten train station, thinking that this was where the amusement park was. After all, the park is called "Klotten", right? Splash! I love this ride. It really does seem like the boat could flip over when it hits the water. We did not spend long in the Klotten amusement park. Despite the total lack of English speakers, we found the chairlift, which brought us down to another town called Cochem. We had gotten off at the wrong train station. Oh well, at least it worked out and we didn't get heat stroke. Klotten was a great little park. Thanks to Robb & Elissa for finding it and documenting it so well in their 2007 Mini Europe Trip. There is no way I would have gone here without them blazing the trail. Oh, there she is. Where did Liz go? Eagle! You can sort of tell here that Klotten, the amusement park, is basically on top of a mountain. Baby goat. After a long time of walking uphill in the heat, we finally got into the park. So, of course we went straight for the livestock. Yes, we had walked 2 km up a mountain at this point and still had a long way to go in the heat. This sign was still not that close to the park. Fail. Not only did we not find the chairlift. We had to walk up this giant mountain in the blistering heat while BMWs whizzed by us and looked at us like we were crazy. Note the distance I kept from Liz. This is how you avoid getting beaten by your wife when you pull a Clark Griswold.

^It would be a great castle to takeover. It's so quiet back there. And no HOA sending you letters telling you that you need to power wash your turrets. I bet there are plenty of modern amenities in the part of the castle they didn't take us through on the tour.

Connecting to the mighty Rhine River, is a smaller tributary called the Mosel River. The two rivers connect near a town called Koblenz, which means "confluence" in German, if I'm not mistaken. At the confluence of these two rivers, there is a little piece of land called the Deutsches Eck, or German Corner, that has a giant statue of Kaiser Wilhelm I, the first German Emperor. Apparently, the Deutsche Eck holds a fairly special place in the hearts of the German people. But, I did not go there. Instead, I took the train from Bacharach up to Koblenz, and then connected to another "milk run" (aka slow ass) train to the Mosel River valley and got off at a town called Moselkern. This is as close to the inside of the castle as I am allowed to show you. Sorry, but pictures were not allowed inside. This castle still has mostly original furnishings, which is exceptionally rare in castles. Thanks to the Eltz family for still allowing us grotty tourists to take a look-see inside their amazing castle. Everyone is queuing up for a tour of the castle, except for the child behaving badly. Inside the courtyard of Burg Eltz. This is currently the restaurant/WC (bathroom in American). I do not know its historic use. The approach. There is actually a watchtower behind us. Another key to having a good defensive castle is to put it on top of a hill. Hence this climb. Liz acting Japanese in front of the German castle. If you don't want your castle to be overtaken, it's a good idea to put it back in the middle of nowhere. And that's exactly what this family did. This castle has been in the same family for over 700 years! And there it is! Burg Eltz. There are two basic kinds of castles, fortresses for defensive purposes and palaces for showing off. A "Burg" is a defensive castle. A palace is a "Schloss". Thus, we're walking towards a defensive castle placed out in the middle of the woods. In coaster enthusiast terms, we're headed to Knoebels. Rock porn. In any event, it was a very nice walk. For some reason, I feel compelled to lie and tell you that this is the Black Forest, but it's not. That's further south from here. When we got to the Moselkern train station, they had a sign that said "no taxis available". So, we had to walk for about 90 minutes through a forest that looked like this. Rough life, huh?

We did a boat ride down the Rhine, but it was just the hour ride from St. Goar to Bacharach. Our rail passes got us on for free. There are TONS of castles along that stretch of the Rhine. Unfortunately, it was very hazy and most of the pictures came out poorly. Thanks for the nice comments, everyone. We had an amazing time on the pre-trip. I hope this TR shows that.

After we left Amsterdam, we took a few trains down to the Rhine Valley in Germany. The Rhine Valley is storybook Germany. Lots of castles, vineyards, half-timbered buildings, etc. It is one of my favorite corners of Germany. Very sleepy and relaxing. And this is what happens when you drink German wine. Sorry Germany! Stick to making beer. In Bacharach, we decided to do a wine tasting. Zee mighty Rhine River. This is the town we slept in, Bacharach. Amazingly well-preserved. No modern buildings at all. One of the countless vineyards in this region. A very creative use of otherwise worthless land. This robber baron castle probably levied a toll on whomever crossed this part of the Rhine. If you didn't pay the toll, they'd throw you into the dungeon. Basically the whole area looks as nice as this. One of the countless castles in this part of the Rhine. You get what you pay for. We did not sleep in this town, but it has an amazing ruined castle that I'll show later. One of an infinite number of boats on the Rhine. To get to the Rhine Valley from Amsterdam, you have to connect through Cologne. Here is Cologne's main train station. Behind me is Cologne Cathedral.

Here are just a couple more photos from Amsterdam: You really have to love Amsterdam. Another look at "Our Lord in the Attic". Catholicism was banned in Holland in the 16th century. The ever tolerant Dutch built this groovy church, Our Lord in the Attic, to give Catholics a place to worship. Not really my scene, but a hoot of a building.

In the queue and in the station, yes. On the ride, not so much.

Sure, we got hotels in Munich and Salzburg via Priceline bids for very low prices. Like in the $65-$70 range. The Salzburg hotel was right by the train station, but the Munich hotel required a subway (U-Bahn) ride. If you need to reserve any trains, I suggest stopping by the EurAide office in the Munich train station. It's run by an American who really knows his stuff and is hilarious. B&Bs will give you better service (more local sightseeing help). You can find good ones by just checking the ratings on TripAdvisor. But it might cost you more than using Priceline bids. Priceline has some amazing deals in bigger European cities, at least they did last summer. Though things like breakfast and Internet are never included and will cost way too much.