Electerik

I'm going to take this question at its face, and say Revolution. /Colossus was pretty good, too. //Magic Mountain sucks so much.

Sick of Dollywood photos yet? Too bad, it's Dollywood's National Gospel & Harvest Celebration! So long from Dollywood's National Gospel & Harvest Celebration. Dollywood will return in: Dollywood's Smoky Mountain Christmas. "Aw, do we have to?" I love this photo, by the way. "All aboard!" And now, as promised, we end with a train ride back in time, courtesy of Smisty. Who wants some horse-ground stick juice? This ride is weird. Pretty, though. "Operating" one of the other farm animals? "Piggy Parade" Almost all of Dollywood's flat rides reside here as well, including The Waltzing Swinger. Dollywood's kiddie coaster resides in the Country Fair section of the park. It is themed to talking vegetables. And this is the Parton Back Porch Theater, where Dolly sticks all of her deadbeat relatives who ask her for money. This is for October, in the calender that TheRapidsNerd is no doubt currently working on. Pre-lift theming on this ride includes a fully-functional Ferris Wheel. Squirrel! Smoky Mountain Rampage also runs in October--though, again, it doesn't have very many riders. Why do they call it Fall, anyway? I will run you down like the duo you are! Just inside Rockin' Roadway's entrance. Even though there's only one ride in it, I really like this area of the park. I mean, every park has a 50's-themed diner--but how many have a whole 50's-themed section?? I now present you with the worst likeness of Ms. Parton I have ever found at Dollywood. And we'll just pretend that it's inside Chasing Rainbows (even though it isn't). Ah, Dollywood's Dolly Parton museum! There's just one problem: Chasing Rainbows very specifically forbids photography inside. So instead... Where to now, Misty? And pretty good food. (Although--and even though we've eaten here many times--we always fathom that it's going to be just a little bit better than it turns out to be.) It has interesting decor. Time for lunch. Yes, Dollywood--in addition to all the buffets and giant skillets--does have one proper full-service restaurant. Should we tell her that it's almost 2010 now? (I guess she's still not over her humiliating loss.) Dollywood's Liberty store, because flag flag flag flag flag! The scary part is: I don't think this dude actually works here. I know I do. These giant machines make cookies (I think). But he's not gonna stop me from going in! This dude makes...that stuff...in front of The Grist Mill. This shirt is ridiculous. And by "ridiculous," I of course mean "awesome." A standard guitar/banjo/dulcimer store, just like you can find in any Six Flags or Cedar Fair park. These little booths (the same ones from Festival of Nations, just with different stuff in them) are set up all through Craftman's Valley, The Village, Rivertown Junction, and Showstreet. Not many takers, though. Though River Battle and the Mountain Slidewinder (along with all of Dreamland Forrest) are closed for this event, Daredevil Falls remains opens. The inside of the Carriage Works. I'm not sure that all the folks above me were taking this seriously. The inside of Dollywood's church. The snuff classy enough for church! "Weak back or not, Luther, here I come!" "Fire on the mountain, woe be woe, fire on the mountain, fire in the hole!" "It was peacful livin’, ‘twas our hometown, ‘til the Baldknobbers came, and they burned it down." This Blazing Fury ride op is cool because he's wearing a fireman hat. (And also, because he's already posted in this thread two or three times.) Why, it's Rusty Rankin's vintage downhome Texas/North Carolina cookery thing! (In Tennessee.) What's this then? Check me out. Oh, come on! That's awesome! Fall is really the best time to photograph the Tennessee Tornado anyway. I may have given this ride short-shrift in this thread up 'til now, but I aim to correct that. Queue theming. Just inside the entrance. The Tennessee Tornado beckons. Of course, there's always this up-charge. (Which we still haven't done, by the way.) With River Battle closed for the season, this already sparse new path becomes downright desolate. The person on the left is clearly in violation of Mystery Mine's posted rules. The fall season always presents some interesting photographic opportunities (and challenges). Mystery Mine looking all mysterious and mine-y. I do think Dollywood did a good job of working some kid-friendly attractions into what would otherwise be a pretty thrill-ride oriented area. So this what it's come to: I'm reduced to taking pictures of restrooms. Timber Tower says, "No, don't look at Thunderhead anymore, look at meeeee! Hey, everybody, check me out! I'm actually working!" Thunderhead is the consummate GCI, in my view. Thunderhead's pre-lift helix. The Dollywood Express passes by the cemetery--which is where we'll be ending this trip report later. (Um, with the train...not dead.) The long uphill path to Timber Canyon, decorated for Fall. Okay, now that we've eaten our vegetables, let's go have some fun. In retrospect, this photo might have worked better if I had been pretending to sing. According to the short film, The Blackwood Brothers invented the idea of sleeping on a bus. (The bus was also sometimes used for running down duos.) Ah yes, "the golden age of quartets," when trios and quintets were regularly hunted down and slaughtered like animals in the streets. This gospel music museum is always here, but what better time of the year to explore it? A symbol of the growing confusion between the Halloween and Christmas seasons, or just a fun pumpkin tree? A common sight at Dollywood: long lines...for the shows. Asses. And what could be more harvest-y than tractors? The Dollywood Information Center is located about 1.5 miles from the park itself, but gives Dollywood a presence on the Parkway.

Great job with this. I'm really enjoying it. Thanks for posting!

Thanks! And (assuming you are who I think you are), it was great meeting you over at Blazing Fury the other day! My personal rules involve winning. But I actually did go through the loop. Of course, the ball came out so fast that it bounced off the back wall and passed the loop again--but hey, I tried.

^ Amazing! But it's not filled with bricks. It's filled with live racoons, to throw off her balance. Nevertheless, I would totally send you something awesome for this, but you apparently live in Australia. So, instead, I shall simply declare you "E&MSMA's Poster of the Week!"

Well, there’s been a lovely flurry of activity here since our mention on the front page. But that’s no reason to hold up the next exciting installment of Erik & Misty’s Smoky Mountain “Roadside America” Adventures! Walden’s Landing is a somewhat-funky little shopping center, located between traffic light numbers 3 and 2B in Pigeon Forge, and literally built around a mini golf course: Firehouse Golf. And that’s Firehouse Golf and Walden’s Landing. As always, thanks for reading. Oh...Wild Life Fire Department. Got it. I like how hole #18 is set up (even though you can’t win a free game off of it). I won both courses, by the way. I just thought I should mention that. WLFD... Why Leaves For Dinner? What Looks Funny Dead?? When Larry Falls Down??? Am I taking my own picture here, or slyly taking a picture of the woman playing mini golf in chaps? Noooo! Don’t jump, little golf ball! Smisty showing off the Boondock Saints shirt she bought at Red Rocket. I can’t figure out why you’d need to do #2 again (unless it falls off during #3). And now for the red course. (Note MagiQuest across the street.) The last time we played here, it was Winter (see the fourth picture in the very first post of this thread, as a reference). Loop-deeeee-looooooop!!! (But Smisty goes around.) Let's start with the yellow course. There are two 18-hole courses. Can we play mini golf now? And now, for dessert, ribs! Calhoun’s calls this “banana pudding.” Which is kind of like calling Scarlett Johansson “a girl.” Attention Kilwin’s customers: Simply entering our store may kill you. Calhoun’s is one of our favorite restaurants in the area. And did I hear someone inquire about Kilwin’s? One of these stores has smoochie geese in it. Note the sign on the left. Because who wouldn’t want to buy shoes from the devil? Awesome, I’ve always wanted to eat the shell. Huuuymmmm! Featuring cool/nerdy pop culture merchandise, like this Bender shirt. (Yes, Misty bought it.) The coolest store in Walden’s Landing is undoubtedly The Red Rocket. Firehouse Golf is themed to bears fighting fire. Obviously.

Okay, a big thank you to everyone who guessed (or otherwise responded). You guys are the best! But it's time to take mercy on you and reveal the "true" answers. Remember, though, I'm just the messenger. Don't blame me when those answers make no damned sense. Brilinjo already correctly guessed Steve Carrell. As for the others.... From right to left: Elvis Presley, (Humphrey Bogart), James Dean, and Marilyn Monroe.

Nope. But thanks for the other nice stuff you said! You make a good argument. But no, that's not who it's supposed to be. Sure. Give me a way out of my poorly thought-through contest thingy. I'll post the answers sometime tomorrow, if no one has guessed correctly by then.

^ A lovely guess, but no. I'll give you a hint: He was both a music guy and an actor. Still, I trust my point here is clear: What's the point of a wax museum if you can't recognize the (really famous) people in it?

Nope, not Kim Cattrall--but you're right about Steve Carell! Sorry, Meli, but Daniel Craig is incorrect. But thanks for guessing! Anyway, brilinjo has the only correct answer so far. However, there are still three figures as yet unidentified. Who The Hell Are They Supposed To Be???

Pigeon Forge still runs that trolley, yes. But I believe Zach was coming from Gatlinburg, on their "pink" trolley that runs from Ripley's Aquarium to Dollywood, by way of the Dollywood Information Center. The two towns have totally different trolley systems. /And by "trolley," we of course mean "bus."

How juvenile! #7

For the record, Dollywood Lane would be the quickest way on foot, from where you were, despite the lack of sidewalks. Had you been driving, though, you would have been turned away. Why the city has not seen fit to rename Dollywood Lane, now that Dollywood is no longer accessible from it, is beyond me. It was rather cruel of Gatlinburg's "pink" trolley to drop you off at the Information Center, but that is one of its three stops: Aquarium, Information Center, Dollywood. For tourism-oriented towns, they could both be a bit more tourist-friendly.

Thanks, y'all. ^^ Hmmm? I didn't know there was one in Nashville. I just assumed no place but Gatlinburg could possibly have one! Speaking of Gatlinburg.... As a child, I visited the Movieland Wax Museum, down the street from Knott's Berry Farm, once, and was bored out of my mind. And that was my entire wax museum experience, until: Hollywood Wax Museum. Norman Bates doesn't think you'll ever guess right. But I do. In fact, the first person to guess all four of the above people correctly will win a special prize! I don't know what that prize is yet, but there is at least a small chance that it will be awesome! Please note: HatetoFly is disqualified. Okay, now somebody guess before I look stupid(er). David Caruso says, "I don't know who that chick is!" Who the hell is this supposed to be? Aw. Now, this would normally be the end of the report--but this time, I have something special in mind to wrap things up with. Yes, it's time to play.... Who The Hell Is That Supposed To Be? And as you walk back down, you're invited back into the gift shop. Weird. Okay, so the museum is a one-way walk along the top level of this shopping plaza (on the right), that dumps you out up here. The yellow brick exit path (and a really scary-looking Dorothy.) "I do not like being next to the restroom." Seriously? Were the hobbits' feet like that in the movies?? Actually, I'd rather have the one in the middle. Less waxy. "Wouldn't you rather have me?" asks super creepy-hot Brittany. Look, it's Johnny Knoxville. James Bond apparently had a rough night. The horror of Charlie's Angels! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Um...you guys know that Hellboy is a good guy, right? I had to pass, as I expected a baby to be in there. "No problem. We will sculpt you a better one." (As demonstrated in this not-creepy-at-all photo.) "Zorro hates fat women." "I shall shoot my tiny lower self in the knee." I actually had to borrow Misty's sunglasses in order to look this goofy. (Not that she looks goofy in them. She looks great. Honey...? Oh, crap.) A very good likeness of the dude who played Keanu Reeves' girlfriend in The Matrix, don't you think? "My penshil has never sheen shuch a dishgusting dishplay of faggotry!" "Take me, Matt Damon!" See, they should have had the skeletal Black Pearl pirates. That would have been really cool. "Spock, why did you let that guy operate the transporter?? Look what he did to my face!" Jackie Chan attacks! I get Angelina Jolie, Misty gets some old perv. Seems fair, right? Where this wax museum kicks ass over my previous wax museum experience is that these guys actually encourage you to get right up to the wax figures and take wacky photos (though they do ask you not to actually touch the figures, of course). I'm a little confused here. Am I a star, too? The museum itself is entirely upstairs, above (unrelated) shops. I honestly don't remember the prices. Somewhere in the $15 range, I think (though, as almost always, much cheaper for us, as locals). Near traffic light #8 in Gatlinburg.

Great photos, Zach! Sorry I missed this thread until now. But Misty and I were sick all weekend anyway. Glad you had fun in our part of the world. Looking forward to your Dollywood pics.

^ "The thing speaks for itself"? I don't think it does. /It's like ray-e-ain, on your wedding day....

Dinosaur Walk Museum is another "probably never would have gone if it wasn't for this thread" attraction that turned out to be mildly awesome. Okay, yes, the Dinosaur Walk Museum is small. And yes, the dinos are just figures (as opposed to animatronics or something). But all the figures and displays are very well-maintained, and the place has a lot of nice little touches. Two thumbs up (and one magnet acquired). Does it help if you know that this book was making a dinosaur noise as I took the photo? Look, Trilobites! The gift shop entrance/exit. "I am a--! Dude, what the hell am I??" A short film about archeologists plays near the exit. "You know...this place would make a great mini golf course." Another Tyrannosaurus and a swimming cow-asaurus. Smisty searches for fossils. Admit it: You've always wanted to walk under an Apatosaurus. (Or, if you want to make dinosaur enthusiasts mad, a "Brontosaurus.") Speaking of humans, here are some skulls. If you wanna look more human, surround yourself with dinosaurs. "Don't mind me. I'm just enjoying some wall for lunch (even though I'm a herbivore)." "Hello, I am a terrifying sea creature." Raptor dude says, "Dinosaurs became extinct about 65 million years ago...if you're a godless atheist." The first big display is this giant crocodile versus a T-Rex. The table on the left has crayons and coloring pages of dinosaurs. Regular price is $9.95 for adults and $6.95 for kids 4-18(!) It looks small and potentially underwhelming from the outside. It's located near traffic light #1 in Pigeon Forge.

This year, construction began on a huge new retail and lodging complex near the entrance to Gatlinburg (from Pigeon Forge). Several older motels and shops were torn down to make room for this new "Gateway Gatlinburg" project, including (*gasp*) Cooter's Garage. But, as I'm sure you're well aware, you can't keep them Duke boys down. The folks that owned Cooter's pocketed the money they got from the buyout, and went and bought Camp Thunder (an indoor mini-golf and go-carts complex near the center of town), rechristening it Cooter's. This is the greatest t-shirt I have ever seen. Cooter's has definitely lost some of its charm, but there's more there to do now. And, personally, I think it's well-worth a visit just to see that t-shirt in person. I didn't buy it, though. I couldn't. Because I would wear it EVERY DAY and Misty would leave me. But if she ever does, you'll find me at Cooter's. And now, back downstairs to the main gift shop area. The last hole was pretty cool. Actually, it really isn't a bad course overall. Just...odd. Yes, it's laundry day here in the national park, and a fine day for mini-golfing. "Makin' his way the only way he know how, but that's just a little bit more than the law will allow." That last photo had Misty in it, by the way. (Sorry, I was on a roll there.) Combine these slightly at-odds themes with a general "I'm playing mini-golf in someone's attic" feel, and you have one seriously messed up course. And it still sort of is--except with a Dukes of Hazzard overlay. This indoor mini-golf course used to be themed to the GSM National Park. Wait...since when do the Dukes follow the rules?? Yee-haw! The General Lee is still here, but now it's indoors. Awesome! Ooh, ooh, what's in the case?? Just inside the main entrance. Go, Smisty, go! Enos is right on your tail! And this is what it looks like now. This is what it used to look like.

^ How does $40 a person sound? Do you have utinsils here? - Yes. How many animitronic scenes are there? - There are two sets of bears, one on each side of the stage. They mostly just talk and/or interact with the director between costume changes, but don't move much. The rest of the time, they're in shadow or covered by movie screens. I recall them having about 6-8 short "scenes." Would this be a fun place to suprise someone for dinner? - I think that depends on how much you like this someone. At the very least, they'd better have a high tolerance for cheese. Bless your hearts for doing all this. Love it. - Thanks. We're having fun doing it.

Never been much of a show guy, but I had some free tickets to Black Bear Jamboree, so I figured we might as well use them.... This bear is very lucky, because he's outside. Look, you're not going to do any dinner shows anyway when you come here. You know it, and I know it. But, if for some reason you do, stick with the Dixie Stampede. When I finally gave Dixie a try, I was pleasantly surprised. But Black Bear reminded me of why I'm not a show person. The show over, our sanity "bearly" intact, we flee for our lives back into the gift shop. Yes, the bears are never seen or mentioned again, but who cares? God Bless America! And now, apparently forgetting about the whole bear thing--as well as the fact that the performers have been dancing around in the skimpiest clothes possible up to this point--we go Gospel. "What? You didn't like it? Then how about some Country! Surely, bears like Country!" "Well, I guess the disco was okay...." It never cease to amaze me that YMCA--a song that could not be more obviously about gay sex--is considered innocuous enough to be played at public gatherings and church picnics. (Go Asian Native-American dude!) So yes, it's disco time! And what could be more disco than a Paul McCartney "look-alike" singing Yesterday? Apparently, the idea is that they're trying to find some kind of music the bears will like, for their new musical film being shot out in the woods. Misty says, "What the hell are we watching?" And then the dancers come back out and it's a sock hop. I would like to take a moment to draw attention to the Asian dude in the middle, who was easily the best part of the show. Not only did he valiantly represent all minorities, but he was also the only one comfortable enough with his gayness to be having any fun out there. When all the other males were awkwardly twirling around in a "Yeah, I'm dancing, but I might not be gay" sort of way, he was like, "Here I am, Pigeon Forge! Love my fabulousness!" Then the "director" and his assistant (who speaks and sings in a purposely obnoxious "nerd" voice the entire show) come out and talk to animatronic bears. The show starts, without explanation, with "Hooray For Hollywood" style singing and dancing. Chicken and stuff on a plate. So you eat, the pre-show MC dude begs you to tip your server for, like, a solid 5-minutes, there's a 15-minute "intermission" that starts at the announced showtime, and then the show actually starts after that. We arrived 10 minutes before show time to see that the pre-show had started...and people were already eating! The ticket windows inside the main lobby/gift shop. Dixie Stampede is unarguably the most popular dinner show in town, but this one is probably number 2.

^ Yeah, that's what made it okay that I said something happens on the elevator--because they make it obvious that something is going to happen themselves. See, it all makes sense.

The taco was an obvious choice, of course...but were the ladies' costumes inspired by the Bambee song??

Ripley's Haunted Adventure Being like a Horror Nights maze is certainly not a bad thing, but I do prefer Mysterious Mansion to Ripley's Haunted Adventure. The best bit is the elevator trick at the very end, but I won't describe it in any detail lest I spoil it for you. Unfortunately, they do sort of telegraph it ahead of time--which takes some of the surprise out of it anyway. Still, if you like haunted houses, this one is certainly worth a visit. The top level and your guide into the funeral home. "Oh, and please keep your arms and legs inside the funicular at all times." "Ladies and gentleman, there is to be no kissing and no photography inside the house." A kiss for good luck? A "rickety old" funicular take you to the second level, where the vast majority of the attraction is. This attraction reminds me quite a bit of a Universal Halloween Horror Nights Maze--except that there are more props and fewer actors. Which really has nothing to do with this photo. But there you are. There's an elaborate backstory about a mysterious casket company. Choose thy fate: The Headless Horseman's unstoppable wrath, or the wet floor! Wedged between two other attractions, near traffic light #8, is Ripley's Haunted Adventure.

That's an interesting question. I suppose it's possible that the new owners could reverse the decision. (Though there's currently no indication that they would, of course.) That would be awesome, however.

^ Universal has nothing to do with it. However, Blackstone owns 50% of Universal Orlando. Thus the speculation for some sort of partnership. Personally, I'm rather skeptical about that. But who knows?