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The holidays are nearly upon us, even for those of us that want to celebrate Halloween 365 days a year (me included). I had the chance to make a visit from the warm state of Arizona to the nice, brisk and cold state of Tennessee and visit Dollywood and Pigeon Forge. The last time I was in Dollywood was in 2006 and the park was still constructing Mystery Mine and the park still had the wonderful "Y" layout. I have been wanting to go back to Dollywood for some time, and since my youngest cousin was getting married near Dollywood, I HAD to make a visit there. I was fortunate that Dollywood had their Christmas offering already up and OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! I was amazed by how beautiful the park was during the day and even more magical at night. The food never disappoints at Dollywood (and my waistline will never be as small as it was before I entered the park) and I was pretty excited that they had a Holiday Tasting menu around the park. There are three parts to this trip report... Part 1 - Dollywood Part 2 - Dollywood at night Part 3 - Pigeon Forge Enjoy the pictures! The main entrance to Dollywood was all decked out for Christmas this year. But first up, it was time to ride some coasters before the park got crowded. Thunderhead immediately landed in my Top 10 wooden coasters when I rode it back in 2006. Let's hope it still runs awesome! Through the trees! Is that still a thing? Does anyone remember that during the beginning years of TPR or am I really getting that old? Well, it's going to happen a lot in this report. Anyway, Thunderhead still rode fantastic! This ride never lets up and it's still in my Top 10 wooden coasters. So glad Dollywood has kept this coaster in great condition! Right next to Thunderhead was Dollywood's version of a kiddie ride with the theming of some punk, whistling at someone. Not sure how nice that is but it's still a fun ride for families. Don't be tootin' willy's whistles now ya hear? The ride that was under construction during my last visit...and all I could see through a peep hole back then was a shed. Now that shed has turned into a Mine...a Mystery Mine that is. This was a fun little ride. It was a nice mixture of dark ride plus some coaster elements. I enjoyed it quite a bit. It was also interesting to see that the track was modified. I don't know when that happened but I also love the fact that the park kept the old piece of track in place. It makes it even more like it's an abandoned old mystery mine! Oh yeah, and that cell phone losing hang time was great! Time to enter the newer section of the park. If I was able to bring my family to the park, we would have spent a lot of time in this area. Yes, there is also a Carnival area of this park, but the Wildwood Grove section was just nice, very beautiful, and just relaxing with some great kids rides. And my oldest would have loved to read these signs so he could learn the history of this section of the park. It's these nice little touches that some people look past, but some families and kids really enjoy it. Family Suspended credit at the far end of the park. Let's see what it does... IT HAULS @$$ THROUGH THE TRACK, that's what it does! I mean, damn! This was a family coaster? I sat in the back of this ride and got airtime on it than sitting in the front on Lightning Rod! It's a great coaster but could be terrifying for little kids if this is their first coaster. And the G Forces were pretty great too! I'm not gunna lie, I was really impressed with this ride and actually rode it a couple times throughout the day. New for next year! Black Bear Trail! Oops...nevermind...this Black Bear Trail is the little kids version of the insane "family" ride that Dollywood was currently building behind construction walls while I was there. They also had some pretty awesome flyers. I couldn't get mine to "crack the whip" but it was still fun! Another fun family ride in Wildwood Grove. Time for another "family" coaster. I have been following the park for quite some time and I'm impressed how this ride utilizes some of the structures and areas that was previously here. I think this is a great addition, rather than a ropes course.... Serious question...Does Dolly Parton have a thing for Firemen? I mean, there's this ride and the beautifully constructed and maintained Blazing Fury. Just curious... This was also a very unique coaster. I really loved the layout, how it launched out of the station and also the backward bit. It had a little bit of everything. But a family coaster!?!?! Again?!?! This ride seriously hauled throughout the course of the track and the backwards bit could take anyone by surprise! The layout was a lot of fun though and I really enjoyed how it utilized the terrain. And no one was burned on our coaster train so that's always a plus. Through the trees! (I told you this was going to happen a lot in this report) My very first B&M Wing Coaster! It was a lot of fun. I rode in the back outside and then again in the front outside and both were very smooth. It is a way different feeling than Furious Baco in Port Aventura, Spain...holy hell that ride hurt in the back outside. Wild Eagle dominates the skyline. This ride was very impressive while walking around the Wildwood Grove section of the park because it seemed so damn tall! And here's it's impressive loop.....through the trees! Haha! I'm pretty sure everyone has a picture of this sign...and I'm pretty sure that 95% of those pictures are better than this one. But that last really is enjoying her hot chocolate! Are these wild eagles? Or are they wild owls? you decide! The very last Arrow Dynamics Looping Roller Coaster. But that's ok because it's......THROUGH THE TREES!!!!! I really do love this layout and a part of me wished it was a little longer. But then my head and neck remind me that my body can only take so much over a certain period of time. FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!! If you know, you know! The ride still is a lot of fun. It reminds me of the Calico Mine Ride at Knott's Berry Farm. I grew up in So Cal and the Calico Mine Ride was one of my favorite rides as a kid. I can see how people who visit Dollywood frequently would love this ride. Oh...and yeah....THROUGH THE TREES!!!! Alright...time to see what all the fuss is about on this coaster. Will it break down, how long was the wait, where is the single rider line? Let's check it out! Yeah...it was only a 15 minutes wait throughout the entire day, I rode it 6 times, it never broke down and this first launch lift hill was pretty damn awesome! It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed the ride. I wanted to enjoy it more but I think the hype made me too hyped for it and it just didn't live up to what everyone was saying about it. Don't get me wrong, it's a great ride and I had a lot of fun on it...hell, I rode it 6 times! Through the trees!!! And over the water!!!!! Thunderhead is more fun in my opinion. Ok folks...one of these is the main reason you go to Dollywood. Which one is it? Cinnamon Bread! DUH!!! I remember this deliciousness back in 2006 and I couldn't wait to get it again. Well, I mean I had to wait because the line to get the bread was longer than any ride that day...BUT IT WAS WORTH IT! Speaking of food...time to eat my way around Dollywood and all it's delicious offerings it had. The tasting Pass was such a great deal. You get so much food for a great price. Let's check out what's to eat! I love that they still offer "salad". I mean come on, who's really going to get a salad? Time for some belly of the pig! Pork Belly. This was one delicious pig! Christmas in a sandwich?!?! Sign me up! Again...this was amazing! The real heroes of Dollywood...the giant skillet! I hope this turkey worked out and had some plump thighs! Oh boy did he work out! And that was a pretty good sized helping of turkey! Now for some other sweets that aren't Cinnamon Bread! You can't go wrong with a delicious sugar cookie! I WANT THEM ALL!!!!! But I ended up getting the Gingerbread cone. Nice and delicious! After eating Cinnamon Bread the first time, I realized I didn't take a picture before I finished it. That gave me an excuse to buy another order of cinnamon bread. Still so damn good! Time to check out the Dollywood Bird Show! Fun fact, the screech owl does not screech...it screams!! Vulture attack!!!! Dollywood has released 300 Bald Eagles into the Great Smokey Mountains! Their Bird Sanctuary right next to the show area was huge and there were a ton of Bald Eagles throughout the sanctuary. There were all sorts of birds hanging out at the park today! And there were some fun floral arrangements around the park as well. Dollywood really is a beautiful park. And since it was the holidays, of course there were shows scattered throughout the park all throughout the day. All the shows seemed real popular. Up next, Dollywood at night!

With the last financial report it is questionable if Six Flags will be around for very long, or at least as it is now.

Nemesis deconstruction is well underway. https://www.towerstimes.co.uk/future-developments/nemesis-track-replacement/

I've been here all week. Their major rides: Scream, Full Throttle, Riddler, Goliath are not closed due to staffing. They are in various stages of disrepair. It's sooo sad. All the rides open late. Tuesday Wonder Woman opened at 3:45, Batman opened at 4:30. I've been told because of maintenance issues. Many of the restaurants are not open or available on the meal plan anymore. "Bassoul the fool" (CEO) is taking his toll at this park and it's too bad. Their hours for 2023 are a real joke now. The days of 365 are long gone. Look at the new schedule just posted online.

I think you're conflating a regular weekday and non-gathering holidays like July 4th or Labor Day with Thanksgiving, the #1 day for travel (and thus gathering) out of the year for the country. Employees want to spend time with their families and/or loved ones. I do think tomorrow would be a better indicator of what might be open during some future trip.

I submit to you that I am not "slow," but rather a master of suspense. Anyway, here it is, the fourth and final installment of our 2022 trip to Europe, in which I mostly complain about Disney. So enjoy that. And, also, there are people who started 2019 trip reports that still haven't finished them, so cram it. Nah, I'm just joshin' ya'. I love you guys! Part 4: America in France Welcome to Parc Asterix, a place I honestly knew very little about going in. In fact, I pretty much just knew they had Tonnerre de Zeus and Goudurix and that the park was themed around a French newspaper cartoon. When I heard you could ride an ass on their carousel, this isn't quite what I'd pictured. This park is actually pretty great. I really liked it. Yes, that's my caption. I'm already out of jokes. I don't remember the names of any of these rides, but I'm definitely counting them both as credits. By which I mean I'm giving the park credit for having a dark ride, even though it doesn't really have one, strictly speaking. This boat ride works, though. Actually, most of the ride names in this park seem a bit unimaginative, even in French, mostly being variations of "Caesar's Spinning Thing" or somesuch. We interrupt this trip report to insert a random photo of Montu. Actually, I liked this better than Montu. And quite a lot better than Black Mamba. You should know by now the kind of trickery I engage in when putting these trip reports together. This is a restaurant, and the next photo is of food. And yet...! ...this food is not from that restaurant! In fact, I'm not even sure what this food is. Pizza? Or like quiche? We'll just go with quiche pizza. I love these kinds of car rides. But while I do usually enjoy them, I am also frequently just a little bit disappointed that there isn't more to them. But not in this case. This thing was great. Scenery, animatronics, buildings you go through with scenery and animatronics. This might just be my new favorite car ride and I had no idea this park even had a car ride. In fact, I liked it so much I'm going to go look up the name of it! Hang on. "Nationale 7" Right. I did mention that the ride names were largely kind of bland, didn't I? The ride isn't bland though. I just put "Nationale 7" through google translate and it shocking didn't come back as "driving past old people having sex in a barn." You've seen this photo, right? Or a version of it? Well, just in case you haven't, here you go. The park has a couple of these indoor areas that feel mostly abandoned. Which is a shame because they're really cool even without the shops, restaurants, and little attractions that look like used to exist within them. Goudurix is the one clear exception to the bland ride name rule, apparently translating as "the taste of danger." It's reputation, as I'm sure you're aware, is that it's maybe the most painful coaster in existence. It was closed most of the day, apparently for mechanical problems. Actually, it may have been closed all day. I have no idea. I never intended to ride it. We also didn't ride Tonnerre 2 Zeus, but did intend to. It just kind of ended up being later in the day for us, and right after we got it line, it went down. It probably reopened, but we never made it back. It may seem strange to hear me be so blasé about it, but as awesome as these trips are, they can also sort of end up being like a Brazilian steakhouse. Yes, all this food is amazing and I'm paying the same amount regardless and I really would like to try this cut of meat because I've never had it before but also I'm about to fall asleep and I'm currently covered in bruises and you expect me to backtrack to ride something that may or may not be open by the time I get there? I think I'll just head to the hotel and take a nap, thanks. You get the idea, I'm sure. We never skip a water cups ride, though. The park didn't even make them do this! This was the trip of madhouses and we rode all of them. This was the best, as the story involved some sort of experimental medieval submarine being attached by a giant octopus. (Maybe...? I mean, it was in French and I don't speak French, so I may have misunderstood some of the finer details. It was great though. ) Yeah, Parc Asterix was quite good. Thus endeth the last official park of the trip, but this report is just getting started! Yeah, sorry, there's a whole bunch more. Back in Paris, where cars rule and there are no rules for cars. One of those famous Parisian street cafes you're always hearing about. We're pretty big zoo and aquarium fans, so we wanted to check out Paris's zoo. And...it was fine, but I'm just about ready to add zoos to the short list of things the US is better at (along with airports and desserts). Still, it's always fun to look at long-necked horsies. Chubby sea lions. Sometimes people are in the way of your photo, and sometime people make your photo. The Biozone Amazonie-Guyane. Or for those of you that don't speak French, the Amazonia-Guyana Biozone. You're welcome. Statement. Maximum security. Reserved for large cats that have repeatedly escaped. It's a perfectly pleasant zoo, but probably doesn't need to be super high up on most peoples' list of places to visit in Paris. Disneyland Paris! Okay, here we go. I'll try not to belabor the point, but I'm not a huge Disney fan. I used to be. I grew up with Disneyland and loved it. But I got older and Disney and I grew apart. Maybe the best way to explain where I'm at now is this: I love Disney's rides--especially the classic older ones--but I hate what I have to do to get to them. Which is to say, I dislike the Disney park "experience." Still, we elected to visit Disneyland Paris because we'd never been and we wanted to see it. And we stacked the deck to give us every advantage we could, staying at an on-property hotel and buying their best/most expensive fast pass option. Did this help? Yes, it dulled the Disney negatives a bit. So success. But...yeah, it didn't really change my mind about Disney parks overall. Sleeping Beauty's castle is quite nice, both inside and out. Hey, it's a famously unique-to-Disneyland-Paris thing! Just a quick visit that first night, and then we went to the Rainforest Cafe. Why? I don't know, man. Because it was funny...? Our first full day at Disneyland Paris began with the second gate, Walt Disney Studios Paris. Gross. This area is nice, though. I enjoyed the 3 little flat rides and the fun theming. Doesn't really look like a Disney ride, does it? These cuddle up whip things are always fun. Several cars out of commission for first thing in the morning at a park that should be able to afford the very best maintenance, though. Hey, I'm just saying. A bold choice to include a map of a better area at a better park. Crush's Coaster is the big unique ride at this park, and it's fun. But it is mostly just a spinning coaster in a box, and its wait times are intense. Of course, we had the pay fast passes, which still resulted in around a 20 minute wait. Which is not a complaint. Well, actually it is. But I'm not complaining about waiting 20 minutes after buying a fast pass. No, I get that. I'm complaining about Disney deliberately putting in a low capacity ride, knowing full well what kind of lines it would generate, when they could easily have created something similar or better with much better capacity by spending a bit more money that they obviously had. But they went cheap because they knew they could get away with it and pass that misery onto you. And yes, I already knew all of this when I decided to go. But this is why I no longer go to Disney parks very often. Also note that staying on-site gave us 60 minutes of early access. But also note that you can't use your pay fast passes during that hour, and (especially at Disneyland Paris) many of the smaller rides aren't open during that hour. It's just like, a bunch of weird math pop quizzes to negotiate at every turn. I suspect that big Disney Park fans like the challenge. They're like couponers. They just really enjoy feeling like they outsmarted the system. Like people dropping $100 into slot machines in Vegas while patting themselves on the back that they got two free drinks. Okay, okay. I'm okay. Deep breathes. I can do this. Keep positive. The best ride at Walt Disney Studios Paris, at least in my opinion, is not exactly unique. But I don't care. I'm always down to ride Tower of Terror. I don't even care that it's the "lesser" version without the 5th dimension scene. It's still great. Interestingly enough, what really makes this one unique, is the strange focus on the little girl character. Do French people find little girls especially creepy or something? Is that a cultural thing? It's the same characters from the Orlando and original California versions, but the little girl becomes the centerpiece of almost ever scene in a way I found really weird and highly amusing. We experienced a breakdown about halfway through the cycle, sat for a few minutes, got cycled off, and were then given a proper full ride, so that was fun and interesting. (Not sarcasm, for clarity. I just don't know how to say it in a way that doesn't sound sarcastic. To be honest, I don't really know how to say anything that doesn't sound sarcastic. It's just who I am.) Ratatouille is a solid trackless dark ride that of course now also exists at Epcot. I quite liked it, but I have the same minor complaint that I had about Mouse au Chocolat at Phantasialand--which is that the 3-D glasses make the real non-screen scenery look a bit muddled, which is a shame because that all looks quite good if you take the glasses off. But then of course you need them on for the 3-D screens. Next door is the wonderfully themed and beautiful Bistrot Chez Rémy. The food is pretty good also, but really I'm recommending it for the decor. And by "recommend it," I mean make sure you make reservations 2 months in advance or resign yourself to waiting in long lines to eat at a cart because this is a Disney park. Their disaster canyon tram ride has been rethemed to Cars Road Trip. It's pretty weak, but at least it has amazing capacity, so you shouldn't need to wait long. Back to our soulless hotel, the Cheyenne. This is themed to Woody from Toy Story. But also kind of not...? I assume they're trying to appeal to both children and adults by being both Toy Story but also just generic old west...? It did the job and it was close enough to the parks, so yeah, pretty good. This is outside the nearby Hotel Santa Fe, which is similarly kind-of-themed to Cars. You probably know that Walt Disney Studios Paris is a bit lacking in terms of number of attractions. But what you might not know is that Disneyland Paris is similarly afflicted--perhaps not compared to its second gate, but certainly when compared to Disneyland or even Magic Kingdom. Main Street has two side "hallways" that run the length of it, creating more footpath to get in and out from the entrance to the hub. No doubt hugely beneficial during parades and such. I'm for it, but one amusing thing is that Disney lists these pathways as attractions on the park map, and the symbol it uses for attractions is a little coaster car--creating the hilarious implication that Disney considers this hallway to be a roller-coaster. Buzz Lightyear's Laser Rangers or whatever is fine and fun and pretty much the same (other than being in French, of course). I was told I got the highest score in the park's history. Which makes sense. Autopia is fun. It's interesting to think that when I was a kid the entire point seemed to be to run into the car in front of you. But then again kids are jerks. Kids, but not jerks. (Unless you own Disney stock. Then you probably think we're jerks.) The Nautilus was closed during the 3 or 4 days we were around. As was 'it's a small world,' the Disneyland Railroad, Mickey's PhilharMagic, Swiss Family Treehouse, the Pirate Galleon, and probably some other minor stuff that I've forgotten. But, hey, what do you expect when you visit in July? Here's a shot of Star Wars Hyperspace Mountain broken down. We did ride it a bit later and it didn't hurt me too bad but also isn't something I ever need to ride again. That probably says more about me than Disney, though. Smisty built her own droid in the Star Tours gift shop. Pretty much just a red R2-D2 with a sombrero. So basically the greatest droid ever. The best Pixar movie. A little snack stand in Fantasyland. So why include a photo of it? Because they had bitterballen! Storybooklandcanalboats. Casey Jr. goes over the stone bridge. I like that these are here. Another unique-to-Disneyland Paris thing is Alice's Curious Labyrinth. I was a bit worried about how this would work capacity-wise, but it wasn't too crowded when we went. Maybe it's just not that popular. I enjoyed it, though. Almost an observation tower! You know how I mentioned that Disneyland Paris feels pretty light attractions-wise? Well, it's in Adventureland and Frontierland that you really feel it. Adventureland has an Indiana Jones coaster and Pirates, and Frontierland has Big Thunder and Phantom Manor. There is a handful of other small attractions (most of which were closed while we were there), but what there isn't is: Splash Mountain, Winnie the Pooh, Country Bear Jamboree, Enchanted Tiki Room, and/or Jungle Cruise. Interestingly, this means that there are no rides at the resort that get guests wet. But I guess you can just go to Parc Asterix for that. And also to have fun. Zing! Okay, okay. You can probably guess how I feel about this. Pirates of the Caribbean is legitimately interesting. It pretty much has all the same scenes as the one at Disneyland, but in a completely different order. Which is fascinating if you're super familiar with Disneyland's but have never been on this one. Featuring Johnny Depp speaking French! Looks cool. Closed. This was open, though. Love a rope bridge. Or a bouncy bridge. Any kind of bridge really. If Disneyland Paris was one big bridge, I'd probably be singing a very different tune, is what I'm saying. Most people say this is the best Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. And I don't know, maybe. The tunnels between the station and the island are cool, no doubt, but this one felt a big rougher than the others I've ridden. Lots of push/pull. Maybe I just caught it on a bad day or whatever. Phantom Manor might've been the highlight of the resort for me. I'm not saying it's better than Disneyland or Magic Kingdom's Haunted Mansions. They're all sort of dynamically equal to me. But this one has lots and lots of unique elements that I really enjoyed, and I'm really happy I got to ride it a few times, because it's really good and also super interesting if you've been on the other ones a bunch of times. I almost want to say I like this one the best...but there are a couple of things missing that I miss. Oh, what the heck, I'll give Disneyland Paris this one. Sign me up as happy haunt #100! Ah. Okay, sorry for being such a Disney hater. But, but, but...I really did enjoy the rides! Especially Tower of Terror; Ratatouille; Pirates of the Caribbean; Snow White, Pinocchio, and Peter Pan in Fantasyland--which I didn't mention but did ride; Buzz Lightyear; Star Tours; and Autopia. Crush's Coaster was fun, and all the little Toy Story rides were good. They're all just hard to get to. And I don't just mean because they're in France. Delta One both ways, not because I'm rich but because I'm too old to prioritize money over comfort at this point. Bonus points for anyone who can identify the movie onscreen. That's it! Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for my visit to Walt Disney World next month!