Photo TR: Closing Day at Kings Dominion

[cfc]

I finally ambled up to Kings Dominion yesterday (November 1) to check out the park's Haunt. So, yes, this TR is a bit late for Halloween. But at least you'll be ready with my cogent commentary (or lamebrained opinions, depending on how you look at them) for next year, right?

 

I think the one word that sums up Haunt is "fog." Yes, fog. More fog than the Smoky Mountains and the City of London combined. Rather thick, pungent fog, as though the entire park were a smoking area. I really think KD got quite a deal on fog machines at some after-Halloween sale last year.

 

So, expect lots of fog.

 

Overall, Haunt was fun, even if some of the mazes tend to be a bit low rent. I skipped the Blue Ridge Bloodbath car ride this year, thanks to its enormous line (over an hour), and concentrated on the park's seven mazes. BGE featured five mazes at Howl-o-Scream this year, but, frankly, I think each of them topped the best of KD's lineup. Still, it was a fun night, and KD does a bit better with scarezones overall than BGE.

 

Here are the mazes, starting with the best and working down.

 

Maze of Madness-- This is a tent maze located just off International Street, near the main entrance, and it turned out to be the best of the night. You amble through the not-too-cleverly named "Asylum No. 3," which is full of chainlink, mirrors, strobes, psychos, schizos, and, of course, fog. The scareactors work their butts off in here, climbing up the fences, bouncing off the walls, and getting in guest's faces--the whole experience is pretty disorienting. Good job!

 

Blackbeard's Revenge--This is an outdoor maze using the the woods and observation deck of the Whitewater Canyon rapids ride. Basically, Blackbeard and his scurvy crew of vengeful ghosts are protecting the olde pyrate's treasure hoard. Starts slowly, but gets better as it goes--it also samples quite a bit of Disney music from guess which atrtraction and series of movies? Not bad, but Blackbeard shouldn't look like he's 17 years old.

 

Club Blood--Vampires have opened the coolest club in KD. Don't let its resemblance to an auto parts store fool you! Yes, it's vampire skanks and bouncers in a shed near Hurler, and the scareactors do a pretty decent job keeping it lively.

 

Alien Outpost--Flight of Fear's queue plays host to a rather diverse lot of space creatures, ranging from little green men to, well, and "Alien." OK outer-space goofiness, but the 45-minute wait was a bit of a drag.

 

Toxic Plague--RIP Hypersonic; you've become a Haunt maze. You wander through a sewer where toxic waste has spawned all sort of mutant bugs and other creatures. I guess. It was kind of hard to tell, because not much happens in the first half of the maze (except for darkness and lots of noise).

 

Blood Shed-- This was a bit disappointing, as the shed is usually the best maze at Haunt. I think a lot of lighting effects weren't working. Oh well. Undead farmhands and random animals take over the Grizzly arcade.

 

Big Top Terror--This "3D" maze in the lazer tag arena proves that it's time to give evil clowns a rest. They all seemed pretty tired here. There was one striking effect--a living clown's faced seemed to float in front of him--but overall, this was one of the lamest Halloween mazes anywhere. (Last year's Freakshow maze was actually better.)

 

Pictures? Yeah, I got plenty.

I didn't bother with Anaconda, but I was rather struck with how it resembled a caterpillar in this picture. But maybe that's just me. More to come.

Well, one last ride on NOT Italian Job. No, the chopper wasn't working--but there was plenty of fire.

"Haunt, schmaunt! It's always Halloween around here!"

One last look at Volcano.

Yes, it is, indeed, fall in Virginia.

My god! It's a UFO!

Once more unto the grimy, dusty bowels of the Volcano!

"Just head this way, handsome!"

 

Er, thanks. I guess.

Aw, crap! How am I gonna get to Volcano?

Not to mention the best ride in the park.

It's a great addition to KD.

I'm glad that KD inherited this ride from Geauga Lake. (It's a pity that GL has been dimantled, as it took me all summer to learn how to pronounce "Geauga.")

Most of the Haunt stuff didn't get rolling until 6:00. Time for the last Dominator ride of the season. The wait was only about 15-20 minutes, unless you wanted the front row.

Merchandise. Check. (Those official Haunt teddy bears are truly frightening! To gaze upon them is to go mad!)

Hay bales and scarecrows. Check.

Let's see . . . evil clowns. Check.

Yep--looks like Haunt, alright.

I felt sorry for these two skeletons. Stuck out in the parking lot. Must suck to be them.

[cfc]

And now a look at KD's 2008 Haunt.

Looks like Jeff is moonlighting as a chauffeur. More to come.

" . . . superstretch Gremlin?"

"All the most stylish vampires are driven to Club Blood in a luxurious . . .

Hmm--I wonder where this "Club Blood" is? Oddly enough, it isn't under this balloon.

"Sheesh! Look what our new neighbor has parked on his front lawn! Time to move."

KD said, "If BGE can use Drachen Fire's old area for a haunt, we can use Hypersonic's!"

First stop, Toxic Plague! Sponsored by Taco Bell!

Oh, there you are, Lenore! Thought we lost ya! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

"Hello, kitty! Not even Falafel Girl can save you now! Heh, heh, heh!"

Hmm--looks like these two have been waiting for a sandwich for quite some time."

"Psst! Hey, buddy! I've been stuck here all month! Could you get me a sandwich or something?"

Well, this park ain't gonna haunt itself. The scareactors started getting into position around 5:30.

. . . and win yerself a new car! Sorry--only one fine Ford product per customer!" (EDIT: I thought this was a Gremlin, but apparently it's a Pinto.)

"Pick two evil clowns . . .

"Pick the evil clown and win yerself a kewpie doll!"

"Step right up folks! A winnah every time!"

"Look! They're burning Brunhilde alive! Tee hee!"

"We've found a witch! May we burn her?"

Ghosts! An army of pink ghosts!

This bush looks kind of sleepy.

"Bleah! Bleah! I'm a bat! See how the same technology that brings you Christmas joy can be used for horror! Satan triumphs again! Bleah! Bleah!"

Do we dare plumb the horrors of the "Witche's Cave"? Note to KD: Learn how to use a %@%!!! apostrophe.

Let's kill some time in Kidsville, shall we?

[cfc]

Still more Haunt! You have been warned!

"Boogie, boogie, boogie! Admit it--you just crapped your pants!" One more set of frightening photos left!

Hoodoo voodoo? Not me!

An evil, haunted bathroom! Actually, the bathrooms at Haunt were pretty scary. Not the cleanest facilities I've ever experienced, let's say.

The clowns are a bit scarier after dark.

"Hey! I didn't seen any freakin' barracuda ape in there! I want my dollar back!"

It's Kings Dominion! In 3D!

"Er, that I'll take ten pairs, Mr. Evil Jack-in-the-Box, sir!"

Sproing! "What did you say, punk?"

"What? One dollar for 3D glasses? I'm not payin' that!"

There's that damn UFO again!

"What? This is a club? I was hoping to buy a rebuilt starter for a Gremlin here."

"Come out to pla-y-yea!"

[cfc]

One last set of pics from Kings Dominion--The Park that Dripped Blood!

That's all--see you next year, KD! Thanks for reading.

I didn't know that Dominator had racing red lights on its lifthill.

"Boogie, boogie . . . oh, you've heard it. Never mind."

I caught a bit of the "Disturbia" show. Nothing says family fun like a bunch of freaks getting down to "Judas Is Rising" and celebrating the end of the world. (I was pretty impressed that they did their own singing.)

Attention. I'm going to use a line that I've used in a previous TR. Here it comes:

 

Diarhhea is a storm that rages inside you!

"Avast! A skeleton I be! What else could he do to me, asks I?"

"Silence, swab! Lest Blackbeard be havin' his revenge on you!"

"Why, tis not even a proper ship, sez I! It be plywood!"

"Ahoy! Why be thar a pyrate ship so far from water?"

"As you can tell from my face, I like a good smoke as well as the next man. But really . . ."

This is the "We paid good money for these fog machines" scarezone.

"Must . . . resist . . . fumes . . . of . . . farting . . . barrel . . ."

"A long line, gentlemen. Set your phasers on 'stun,' and start blasting!"

"Sesnsors indicate a high probability of alien goofiness, Captain.

[knottslover77]

Nice TR, looks like a fun day.

 

--Jay

[mike541x]

Great TR Chuck! I have to wait next year for the Halloween Haunt.

[OldJJman]

Good stuff Chuck!

 

LOVE the stretch Gremlin!!!

 

 

JJ

[Guy T. Koepp]

Oooooooooo! Spooky trip report! Muaha ha ha ha! You have capped off the Halloween Holiday in the most fearful of ways Chuck!

[KDCOASTERFAN]

Great photo TR,so it seems that KD has found a new use for the Hurler pinto judging by it's position over by Triple Spin.

[cfc]

^Yeah, I think it used to be "Garth's car" from the old Wayne's World section. Now that you mention it, I think it is a Pinto and not an AMC Gremlin as I had first thought. Now the Club Blood stetch limo is definitely an American Motors' product.

[Brandy524]

Your captions are hilarious! Very entertaining. A great end to the Halloween season.

[scruffy]

Chuck did the Stunt Coaster have music during the hole ride? I have been on the other two this year and they did not. Nice pictures how did you get them to come out during the night?

[cfc]

^Stunt Coaster hasn't had music for quite some time, because the trains haven't had speakers for quite some time. Cedar Fair removed them, leaving only the wires behind. So, I guess you'll just have to hum.

 

I have a "night scenery" setting on my camera, but the exposure takes a while and you have to keep very still. So, I try to place the camera on a stationary object, such as one park's many trash cans. A tripod would work, too. Glad you liked the pics--thank you.

[BuschSchoe]

Nice photos.

I wasn't able to make it out to KD for Halloween Haunt this year, but hopefully next year I will.

[printersdevil78]

Hmm--looks like these two have been waiting for a sandwich for quite some time."

 

They must have been in line behind me when I tried to get lunch there in May. I left when the line hadn't moved in 20 minutes... and there was only one person in front of me.