PTR: Brent's TR's - 2009 TPR Scandinavia Tour

[downunder]

Waldameer

 

Waldameer begs the question would you prefer a park with one great coaster, or a park with 8 not bad coasters? Credit whores need not reply.

 

This is a park for people who don't need to be immersed in slick state of the art imagineering to have a good time, and a good time we had.

The opening act for the Freddie Mercury of small town theme park shows, Trevor.

Adam showing his TPR mandated change in orientation hadn't affected his balance.

The phallus of fear, which put terror deep inside many a faint hearted TPR tourist.

This was towards the end of the chair ride, note the discarded condoms. It amazes me how people could manage to use condoms in such a high up, confined space. Those Pennsylvanians must be a horny bunch.

Pirate's Cove centre of photo, there was also Pilate's Cove nearby, no one showed for the ERT on that one, except me.

RF II, a bit sheepish in daylight but rabid, chudlike, vicious, flesheating sheep by night. It kicked lateral a$$.

The sky grew dark with the impending ERT apocalypse, I hope R & E did a head count that night, I don't think everyone lived.

The wacky shack had a slight moment on track where gravity was involved in moving the train, TPR credit whores and Jeff Johnson disciples went ka-ching.

The scary part is that these were real children painted bronze, it's a crime and tragedy that children are forced to work this young but at least they didn't have to star in a home alone sequel.

This is the grandfather of ring tone sensation Crazy Frog called Cracker Frog. After burning bright in southern law enforcement up to the late 60's he retired to Waldameer.

Where's Waldameer? No idea, Pennsylvania.

First up, one I missed from Martin's. Robb has a look on his face like I just stole his soul by taking a photo of him. Little did I know, Robb steals your soul when you take a photo of him, he obviously wasn't impressed with my soul.

[jedimaster1227]

Looks great so far... But the experience of Whack Shack and Pirates Cove seems to have been condensed...

 

Looking forward to all upcoming updates!

[downunder]

Idle wild was a who needs drugs not so tragical history tour through childhood in remote Pennsylvania.

 

It reminded of the dinky kids places I used to go to when I was a kid in Sydney where your imagination had to fill in the gaps in the theming, though Idlewild was much better than that.

 

The coasters were fun, Rollo Coaster was a cute old woodie, and the Vekoma mouse didn't kill us, a bonus in my book.

 

Adam, still having problems editing the videos - f*** Vista on my new laptop.

Unfortunately, I sipped at the fountain of the Donnie Darko rabbit in the forest. I was feeling rather

psychadelic after that, like I had just drunk a case of absinthe.

The log flume was so cute like the rest of the place.

The future was bleak, a snapping free Flyer experience awaited.

The fresh paint on the sign told me they were ready for the lord and master of snapping, Robb Alvey.

A convertible dark ride, the green canvas was so pre World War II.

The caterpillar awaits, offering mystery and nausea.

TPR it girl Ms Visage was the victim of Confusion Hill (well documented in other reports). The hand carts were a great biceps workout, we all

came off with arms like Conan The Barbarian after one lap.

"Hey Penguin dude I couldn't possibly embarrass you any more, who else should come up front?"

"Hey folks, I'm just having a toilet break, thanks, all done".

Next, we were coralled into Confusion Hill, our tour leader, Randy The Cowpoke taunts a midget up the front.

Who's that third from left, nooo, it's Jigsaw from Saw, run for your lives or die slowly and unusually.

Ellen "Hard Candy" Page was on hand to take the tour, I thought Smart People did well enough that she wouldn't need to take a summer job.

To the 'hood of the R-dog, that's Mister to you, bitches.

Where were we headed? What was waiting for us in the magical forest -sexual predators of the worst kind, more coaster geeks, ice crazed hippies?

I thought this place for people who were wild about being idle like people from Sydney's western suburbs.

[rollin_n_coastin]

Idlewild seems like a a great place to check out, I never would have thought. How awesome is Waldameer though?

 

Great TR so far Brent!

 

Cheers,

J

[downunder]

^Thanks Jason, Idlewild was so cute and fun to explore.

 

Finally, my next TR will have some point of view videos. I wanted to edit them, add some subtitles and overdubs, but I have no idea how to use editing software yet - I'll leave that to the experts. I was happy to just be able to get the videos small enough to upload.

[downunder]

Lakemont Part 1

 

I was looking forward to Lakemont, mainly to check out Leap The Dips which was the Millennium Force of the previous millennium. The fact that Leap The Dips had been running since 1901 just fascinated me.

 

The park itself was a gravel patch with rides, I think Busch Gardens Europe much further south may have monopolised all the landscaping talent. Still, there is some classic rides at this place.

The Toboggan, the travelling torture device which will be featured in the film Saw 6.

The concrete budget was expended out the front, it was dust, undead grass, and gravel beyond the entrance. A Cedar Fair opportunity, Lakemont needs concrete and trashcans?

[downunder]

I'll finish up the Behemoth trip at another date - I'm just bored with it, so here's some photos from Coney Island, and a couple of quick words on a couple of parks before Coney Island.

 

Delgrosso's

 

Mildly amusing but mostly painful thanks to utter devotion to sauce of the parks spokesperson. I can see why they haven't erected their new coaster, they only care about sauce. I tried to entice the guy with some sauce themes to get their new coaster up - Millennium Sauce, Ride Of Sauce etc but to no avail. The indoor caterpillar was cool.

 

Sesame Place

 

I forgot my camera, which was a good thing, this was a place for kids and not a place for childless adults, needless to say one member of the tour took video of every inch of the place - I'm surprised he wasn't arrested. One credit, enough said.

 

Coney Island

 

I'd always wanted to go to this mythical place, even though I expected to feel the cold steel of a crack ho's shiv in my kidney at some satge during the visit. It was like Springsteen's New Jersey seashore except in New York. The place looks really worn down from time rather than dirty but it's a shame that THOR investments is now butt raping the place. I'm glad I got to go there while I could.

One last look at the Cyclone before THOR's hammer came down, damn I hate real estate developers.

Finally I get mugged, a shiv in the kidney as I expected, damn I was going to sell that kidney too.

I can see why people like Cyclone and I can see why they hate it, airtime with angst.

This was a health warning from the Brooklyn Area Health Department, not heeded by some which soon came to evidence at the SFNE hotel, and a classic technicolor yawn it was too.

On the left those Hurricane rides aren't bad. Actual airtime, therefore a Jeff Johnson credit.

The news crews were on hand to cover the arrival of TPR, but they thought we were the industry body Theme Pork Review, when they found out we about theme Parks they left, but not before giving wedgies to a few of our group.

The freak show was closed, meaning they were out on the streets, they blended in well with the TPR crowd.

Why did you leave Coney Island? I found the train station.

People run when they find it.

This is the only way to get ahead on the mean streets of Coney Isalnd.

Spook a rama was like a Capital Punishment themed Disney ride, without the quality of course.

It's the 70's and I'm in Welcome Back Kotter, I bags not being Horshack (I saw him in a celebrity boxing match not long ago, he got his arse kicked by Screech).

As the sign says, David (below the sign) is definitely swinging.

As part of my next Karate grading I was to seek out Brooklyn's The Warriors street gang and best them. I soon found out they were fictional, I kicked my sensei in the nuts for suggesting such a quest when I got home.

"Go up, it's great", what they mean is get high, more Brooklyn code. That syringe in my butt when I sat down really hurt, maybe I should see a doctor now?

Deno's Wonder Wheel - according to my sources Deno was a drug dealer and the wheel was a great way to set up deals.

Another Dragon Wagon, another credit, this one was not powered by soy bio-diesel so I did feel guilty.

This little critter wouldn't have such a smile on their face when the TPR credit whores stretched those trains to breaking limit.

It wasn't as good as the book I'm sorry to say, but Josh still sh!# himself.

Astroland, now closed. We were scared on the day but I hear on closing day the stalker girl from Flight Of The Conchords was there, now that would have been scary.

Another spine shattering drop, I love the way the trains actually bounce on the track at the bottom of the drop.

Last Warning bitches, the Warriors street gang waits just after this point to enforce this warning.

Huh, does anyone have beepers anymore? Brooklyn was the land that technology forgot.

I had an agenda for being here, I was going to take an axe to this coaster for inspiring Psychlone at Magic Mountain.

"Back, foot and body" is Brooklyn sex industry code for penis. "Man and woman" - they just mean man. Who said there were no happy endings in the ghetto?

[stingrock23]

Way to keep this going, Brent. Coney was definitely an interesting place. Love the captions, but no pics of Nathan's?

That's better, people stuffing their faces with weiners

[lil jimmy norton]

If you really wanted an adventure, you should have took a swim in the water, or go five blocks past Keyspan Park.

[downunder]

^Sounds like Venice Beach after dark, I reckon I'd be more chance unarmed in a shopping mall full of zombies with a dinner bell tied around my neck.

 

Edit: I've added Whacky Shack & Pirate's Cove POV's from Waldameer as downloads 2 posts down.

[jedimaster1227]

^I believe the video file needs to be .WMV (or .AVI) to stream properly on TPR. You will probably need to convert the video and then upload it again. Or, if you can't convert the file, you can compress it in a ZIP folder to upload here for downloading. Either way would work!

 

I really do appreciate the video(s--you still need Pirates Cove ) and I look forward to seeing them when they are posted...

 

Thanks again Brent!

[downunder]

I've uploaded them as zip files, Whacky Shack and Pirates Cove POV from Waldameer here they are.

2_Pirates Cove.zip

Presented in New Gay Adam vision, Adam ventures into a dark place with Pirates at Waldameer.

1_Whacky Shack.zip

Here is a POV of the Whacky Shack from Waldameer presented in Jeff Johnson Credit Vision with editing so spectacular Brian De Palma would need tissues and not because it would make him cry.

[jedimaster1227]

^Thanks for that! The videos came out a little different than I remembered but they were classic! It was great to relive two of the strangest attractions on the trip once more...

 

Thanks again Brent!

[rollin_n_coastin]

Brent, awesome to see an East Coast TR this high up in the forum again!

 

Whacky Shack...fun times! Never tried Pirate's Cove so thanks to you and Adam for the vid!

[downunder]

^^Whacky Shack and Pirate's Cove certainly were adventures that's for sure. I have a few more unusual POV's I'll put up sometime, mostly presented in This Ride Is Rupturing My Spleen Vision.

 

Once my body starts being able to move again after 3 straight days of running I should be able to get another report up, State Champions no more - pride's hurting even more at the moment.

[downunder]

Six Flags New England

 

This is a really relaxed, pretty and pleasant park by the Conneticut River with a surprisingly large collection (9) of coasters for a relatively small park. The B & M Floorless Batman is compact and fun, Thunderbolt - the WWII era woodie wasn't bad, the SLC was passable, and the Gerstlauer Spinner was a good ride.

 

But why beat around the bush, if they didn't have Superman Ride Of Steel I wouldn't be there, it would be like No Doubt without Gwen Stefani, the Stones without Jagger, U2 without Bono - I think I've made my point. I love this coaster.

 

Our day started with ERT on Batman, and the SLC, and then what I was waiting for - SROS (if you don't know that acronym means, shame on you, you are demoted from coaster geek to Matrix geek). I arrived early for the SROS ERT and then put me on by myself, so I rode front row with an entire train to myself.

One last look at Superman, why so sad, we'll be back tomorrow. Not as super as my last visit in 2004 but the off season nip/tuck should have Ride of Steel back to it's best in 2009.

Cyclone was mildly amusing but mostly painful, there were plenty of upside down smiles after a lap on this coccyx cruncher.

Now that's better, not too many people were keen on riding Catwoman, well the statue yes, but the coaster was like having to listen to Phil Collins.

Catwoman's Whip, worth it just for the statue. Powered coasters have an oddly sedated feel to them - Ritalin the Ride, now there's a tie in.

What a SILF, even the prospect of impaling myself on the fence did not deter me from considering claiming this statue credit.

This is the hill. Back troubles, this hill will uncompress those vertebrae, fully endorsed by the Chiropractors Association of America as a supplementary treatment.

Airtime heaven? Superman was a bit more like Clark kent until it warmed up. Clark Kent needs a little viagra. That being said, still better than any other steel I've ridden.

I can see Superman and it looks glorious, like Mecca to coaster lovers.

The ride formerly known as Mr Six's Pandemonium. A bit of trivia Mr Six is actually Nikki Sixx from Motely Crue without a wig and make up.

Shaggy says "how much for the little girl".

Her brother says "how many fingers".

History will record this incident as one of the most inappropriate John Belushi (from Blues Brothers) impersonations of all time.

[ElToroExtreme]

Brent i love the pic Comments! sooo entertaining!

[kenshinmac]

I like the update but I feel it is important to point out that Catwoman was NOT a powered coaster. It used wheels to drag it up the lift but otherwise was coasting.

 

Superman was a ton of fun though. The only bad part was those damn ankle bars that were rubbing practically straight on bone after the first lap.

[hyyyper]

SILF

[downunder]

I like the update but I feel it is important to point out that Catwoman was NOT a powered coaster. It used wheels to drag it up the lift but otherwise was coasting.

 

Thanks for the correction, I always thought Catwoman was a powered coaster for some reason, it just feels like it is not using gravity. Riding that coaster was like driving with the handbrake on.

[Erik Johnson]

This photo really should be in this trip report.

Brent and Superman.

[Guest]

Awesome TR/captions Brent! Definitely looking forward to seeing the rest. I'm also very jealous of your solo SROS ride.

[Speeddeamon128]

Great update Brent!

[downunder]

This photo really should be in this trip report.

 

Thanks for the photo Erik, it so felt like I was Cartman in that episode of South Park where he brought the amusement park and wouldn't let anyone in.

 

As unique as that solo ride was, I think it runs much better with a train load of people.

[downunder]

Quassy

 

Quassy didn't seem like much more than a rest stop, a full day park definitely not. In fact, Quassy was barely a full hour park but like every park on the trip, it was an adventure. Sadly, my home park makes Quassy look like Cedar Point.

 

Two credits on offer at Quassy, a little dipper, and a Wild Mouse which could only be described as 70% potential for fatality, I would have fancied my chances more on the Final Destination Coaster.

 

Lake Compounce

 

One of the best parks on the trip, I wasn't expecting much from Boulder Dash but I was totally blown away, it was amazing, the flat trajectory of the hills made the airtime almost constant, and at night - almost better than a bad to below average sexual encounter.

 

The other coasters ranged from blah to passing blood for the next week. Wildcat was awful, and for the pain and suffering it caused me, earned the bottom spot on my wood coaster ballot. The boomerang was a boomerang, and the kiddie coaster was sweet only because we were denied initially but later got some revenge with unexpected ERT before the Dash.

Master credit scammer Bethany mocks us, after we were all turned away but soon we would have the last laugh with possibly TPR's first kiddie coaster ERT.

Another boomerang, I can barely remember riding it, though these coasters do have a profound effect on short term memory.

A few of this crew made the shortlist to be Paris Hilton's new BFF.

Willdcat was neither wild nor mild. I ruptured organs I didn't even know I had on this ride.

Lake Compounce was charming unlike the guy who was trying to spit on red sox fans on the sky coaster.

The sun goes down and the Dash goes wild. Darkness and wood coasters go together like gravy and ACErs.

"Disorderly conduct is punsihable by a $500 fine and up to three months impronment". The 3 months imprisonment part didn't seem to be much of a deterrent to many on the Thunder bus.

The little kid commented "I wish I was at Six Flags New England, this place is about much fun as a truck stop in Alabama".

Quassymodo the obese octopus was very happy today. "ATM - Inside Arcade" led several TPR members to rush to the arcade but sadly for them it was only a money dispensing machine.

Being from Australia, it was nice to see a body of water that wasn't teeming with big bitey things.

The concept of something so diet crushingly unhealthy horrified me and fascinated me. I love to scare people back home with "they actually have fried dough".

Seeing your kid having this much fun must be one of the rewards of parenthood. Kidtums loves Frog Hoppers like Paris hilton loves partying. The boy on the right got ejected from the ride for throwing his shoes at the ride op - must have been a recessive gene his parents claimed.

Elissa's mom asked me to snap some photos of them on the frog hopper, but soon everyone was snapping photos making me redundant. Kidtums makes conversation "My dad is Robb Alvey". Little boy "gosh dang dat sounds like the guy who banned me from Feem Pawk Review".

The guy in the centre of the photo found some left over pizza on his shirt, the ensuing pile up was horrific, said boy wound up eating his steering wheel as well.

The lion seemed impressed by the rather large rooster, the elephant was just happy to have found a hole in the ground. Quassy certainly has an interesting sense of proportion.

The retro charm of this machine was only exceeded by it's accuracy - the one trip member who used it I saw was advised by the machine "join ACE and learn to answer to the name Ben Dover".

When the water rises, this coaster becomes an aquatrax.

Lycra loving Josh and lap counter Matt, claim another sweet credit. I think the coaster sank a further foot into the ground under the strain of the TPR whores.

I rode with hotfuzz and he said he had never been more scared on a coaster. I was just blah another credit, and if your numbers is up then it's up.

I'm with the milf, that cracked me up. What would crack me up more would Elissa explaining what that means when she is a bit older - "umm Kristen, it stands for Man I Like Fanta".