This has been very entertaining so far. Keep it up!
And thank you for the "rant" about the loose items policy at HW. Too often this is glossed over by people, because they get ERT or free fudge or whatever. This is a major problem, both the policy (stuff in a cargo pocket with a zipper is NOT a loose item) and the way it's enforced (there is no reason the ride operators need to be so rude about this). For a park that's always being praised for the "politeness" of the employees, it seems like this policy and its enforcement is a dirty little secret that keeps getting swept under the rug. There is no sane reason for it, and it seems like it is having a negative impact on guest satisfaction. It is certainly something that needs a serious review.
Anyway, looking forward to the next installment...
dt