Wily J

Those are the days they put together the phony ride videos. #ItllNeverOpen

^ ^^ Exactly! If they crammed someone like this on the ride, then they might have a case: Usually I assume when there is an accident it's the guest doing something dumb, but not this time.

That whole place looks pretty messed up.

^

"I need some solid info about the Lightning Rod coaster Johnny. I've tried the Dippin' Dots guy, the drunk at TGIF's, even the taffy puller at Dollywood, but all I get is bum information! I'm counting on ya Johnny; give me the real low-down on this thing." "The word on the street is. . . #ItllNeverOpen."

Some new info about the 'Kong' attraction here: http://blog.universalorlando.com/whats-new/reign-of-kong-animated-figure/ Some highlights: 1) First look at the new Kong animatronic, which will stand 3 stories high. 2) In the clip, Creative Director Mike West says, "This isn't a movie - it's the real deal. Close enough that you'll feel his breath sweep across your skin and his thundering roar reverberate through every bone in your body." 3) Media preview to be held on June 22-24. (Info from a different site.) This looking better and better! Glad to see it's not just a ride with film effects.

"Security cleared the course of all these losers; let's grab some brews and play nine!"

^ Totally agree; sounds like total BS from the park.

"Warm bosom or warm cinnamon bread, 'ol Dolly always gets her man! That rolly coaster will be running soon; just keep dreaming y'all!"

"Sorry poor people, I'm late for my tee-time."

"Mr. Haney, that's no launch system for a wooden coaster; that's a chicken!" "Au Contare, Mr. Douglas. I sold one to Dollywood just a few months ago and that coaster runs so fast they won't let anyone ride it." #itllneveropen

Am I the only one that read this? Or did everyone else just focus on the "90 mph" and forget everything else? Good god, people, don't you all know the only legit information comes from the Dippin Dots dude? #Itllneveropen

The amazingness of this thread will never end because. . . #Itllneveropen!

Should open any day now; Dollywood's top people are working on it: #ItllNeverOpen

Great pics! It really is a beautiful park. Looking forward to more.

Welcome to the Dark Side friend! #ItllNeverOpen

^ Testify brother! Behold the power of Trin-I-tee Biblical mini-golf!

^ Oh yeah! In fact, one of the first miracles was His hole-in-one on the windmill hole at the Bethlehem Putt-Putt.

Dolly disagrees. She knows there's no wood she can't get to launch. #Itllneveropen

Stay strong Guy! #Itllneveropen

"Wait! Don't leave! Please? We'll let you kick a monkey." I can't remember if this was a caption for the Sanford zoo or Jeebus Land, but damn that's some funny shite. Still one of the best threads ever-

Only 9 holes? I'd need at least 18 to become a true believer.

"C'mon now Guy; no need to be such Debbie Downer! Yeah there might be a new rolly coaster and there might not; what does it matter? Look into 'ol Dolly's eyes. . . I SAID my eyes! There now, let me get ya some cinnamon bread and Vicodin, and if you'll put those rose colored glasses back on, I might give ya a little motor-boating ERT. Don't be so negative y'all! Just another couple weeks. . . keep dreaming!"

I'm just disappointed Sea World didn't call this coaster "Blackfish" and have it mow down hologram CNN anchors and PETA protesters along the route.

Did it open today? No, of course not. #Itllneveropen